The Onion: Equestrian Bureau

by The Read Later List

Masked Lizard Strikes Again

Masked Lizard Strikes Again

Ponyville, Equestria- Following several complaints of tomfoolery, officials today were forced to respond to talk of a crazed, masked lizard that has been creating stress and pulling shenanigans on the local Ponyville population.

"He goes by the name of Talon," says police chief, No Warrant, when referring to the large grafitti mural on sugarcube corner, depicting a lizard, breathing fire and swooning a white unicorn with a purple mane. "We are not aware of his true identity, but are currently working around the clock to stop this malicious red herring." For about two weeks now, police have been evaded by the slippery reptile who has been on a rampage, marking public property with graffiti, stealing gems of high value, and sending stolen, miscellaneous items to Princess Celestia.

"To help combat this foe, we have called upon one of the Elements of Harmony to aid our quest," stated No Warrant. "With the help of her and her witty, and yet undeniably adorable dragon assistant, we hope to curb this rise in Lizard crime. If only we knew where to start looking."

Comments

[an1979]

2x

No Warrent

"No Warrant"

[Phenoix12]

"I bet he's a hansom fellow" commented Spike when asked what he thought