A Ruined Mind

by fire64

A Beam of Hope

A Beam of Hope

Oxalis awoke in what appeared to be the town center. Her vision was hindered by a thick fog that seemed to engulf the world around her. The mare knew she was back in the nightmare world, created by her own mind. As always she was given only one light source, a small lantern that stood next to her. Oxalis lifted it up off the ground and began to study her surroundings. She could barely see through the dense fog, but this was no doubt the town center. The barracks of the Equestrian soldiers was the only building not completely covered by the fog. Oxalis took it as a sign to head over there, so she did.

The mare was not hesitant in opening the wooden doors, for she knew that only horrors would lurk behind them. She walked into the reception area and looked around, the place was in disrepair. The paint was peeling off the walls, papers, furniture and trash littered the worn out tiled floor, and there were holes in parts of the walls, as well as an even bigger one above the circular front desk. The room was fully visible, which came as a surprise to Fleur, since the only light source was the dimly lit lantern she held infront of her. The mare moved towards the front desk. As she got closer the faint sound of singing could be heard. Oxalis stopped in her tracks and listened.

“We marched out on our task. No questions to be asked.”

Oxalis remembered this song, it was “The Heart of the Republic” a tune that the soldiers of the NLR would sing while they marched, after they won a battle or even after they lost one.

“Oh how gallantly swift, would we split their lines a rift.”

The voice of the young mare singing had put Oxalis in a trance, she needed to get closer. Putting an ear up to the hole above the desk, she was able to tell that the source was above her. The mare quickly made her way to the stairs.

“They shall tremble with fear, their eyes gleaming with tears.”

The voice sang on, keeping Oxalis under its spell as she continued up the stairwell.

“And they might tear us apart, down to our beating hearts.”

Oxalis had reached the second floor, the song grew ever louder as she neared its source.

“But we’ll fight on, until we are all gone.”

The yellow mare stood only a few feet away from the object producing the sound. It was a small phonograph sitting atop a stack of worn out books.

“For if we fail to answer the call.”

Oxalis moved closer and reached out to the phonograph… only to be pulled down into the huge hole in the ground.

“How bravely we’ll surely fall.”

Oxalis woke up in a cold sweat. She was surprised by a sudden knocking at the front door. Her heart still filled with fear, the mare ran to the door and quickly pulled it open. Before Aspharr could even mutter a simply greeting, Oxalis wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Please forgive me!” pleaded the mare as she held him close.

Aspharr, who was only just beginning to process what was happening, looked deeply into Oxalis’s now tear filled eyes. He could tell that the need for forgiveness wasn’t the only reason she was crying. It was the early afternoon, so Aspharr decided to bring Oxalis back into her home before anyone else could see her bawling. He sat the mare on the couch and went to go fetch her a glass of water. When he returned, Oxalis had calmed down a bit, but tears still streamed from her eyes. Aspharr offered her the drink, which she politely declined.

“Before I ask, I just want you to know that you are forgiven for what you did. I had and still don’t have any intentions to hate you for it. Now please, tell me, what’s really the matter?” Aspharr asked as he took a seat next to the mare.

At first Oxalis was hesitant to respond, but she looked up at Aspharr and once again saw the resemblance between him and Lysar. The mare didn't know why, but this somehow gave her reason enough to trust the colt. So Oxalis told him everything. About the war, the battles and all the death… even Lysar’s.

“Of all the possible things you could do, why would you join the Lunar Republic?” Aspharr asked, staring at Oxalis in suspicion.

The mare let out a long sigh and gave him his answer… even though deep down she didn’t want to.

“I was only ten years old when it happened.”

Oxalis looked around the room, as if to check if anyone else was listening in. Of course no one was, so she continued.

“It was a beautiful spring afternoon in May, the ninth of May to be exact. I was at school here in Briarwood, we were outside having recess and as usual I was playing with my friends.”

The sudden realization that these friends were no longer with her, hit Oxalis as it did before. She cringed in emotional pain, but carried on with the story.

“While we were running around, I couldn’t help but notice that our teacher was having a conversation with one of the town guards. At first she seemed shocked, but suddenly her face was overtaken by sorrow as she glanced over at me, noticing my curious staring.”

“And then what happened?” Aspharr asked sympathetically, realizing how much harder it was becoming for the mare to go on.

“Well, once my teacher saw that I was watching, she sent the colt away and called for me. I hurried on over to her and she told me that we needed to talk. I blindly agreed, following her into the school building. I let my guard down, thinking that I was just in trouble for some silly thing I did… oh how naïve I was.”

Aspharr began to regret asking the question. He could tell from the difficulties Oxalis was having, that he was the first person she ever told this to. However, the mare kept going.

“The teacher then told me that my parents were involved in an accident. She said that not too long ago the two of them were walking through the town, when suddenly my mother was approached by a rookie soldier. He began to interrogate my mom, mistaking her for a wanted criminal who had just recently robbed a bank. My father, who was leaving the general store at the time, noticed this and approached the rookie from behind, grabbing onto his shoulder. This action apparently startled the soldier, so out of fear he spun around, unsheathed his blade and… and”

Tears began to stream down Oxalis’s cheeks as she continued.

“And he drove it through my father’s chest, piercing his heart. In panic, my mother attempted to pull the young colt of off him. This only caused the rookie to swing the blade at her, cutting her throat. When my teacher finished explaining all this to me, I was a weeping mess of pain and misery. I had to be placed in the orphanage after that.”

Aspharr had to hold back tears of his own as he continued to listen to mare’s heart wrenching story.

“The soldier was tried for murder by the court of Celestia herself. In the end he was found not guilty by means of reasonable self defense. He was allowed to continue his duties. I was enraged by this news, so from that moment on, I swore to get revenge on Princess Celestia and the whole Equestrian Army. That’s why five years later, when the Lunar Republic rose up against her, I was more than happy to run off and enlist.”

Oxalis broke down in tears as she finished her long tale. Aspharr put a hoof on her shoulder and spoke.

“To tell you the truth, I never knew my real parents. They abandoned me when I was just a baby. I can see now why you would fight against Celestia and I somewhat understand your pain. But I can tell that losing your parents at such a young age, is even worse than not knowing them at all.”

The mare smiled at Aspharr, happy to know that he understands what she has been through.

Finally she explained how she got home and why she acted out when they first met. Which in turn led to the nightmares. Oxalis went into every little detail of them. When she finally finished, the mare stared down at the ground and quietly asked,

“You think I’m out of mind, don’t you?”

Aspharr looked towards the mentally damaged pony and simply responded.

“No.”

Oxalis was surprised by his one word answer, but it was his next move that filled her heart with hope. Aspharr pulled Oxalis towards him and embraced her. The mare returned the hug and the two of them sat there, holding each other close.

“I think you should know that I fought in the war as well. For the Equestrian Army. And like you, I lost someone close to me. Someone who was much like yourself. I would always blame myself for her death, which in turn threw me into a state of depression. Until one day, I realized that she would never want me to be so miserable. Instead she would want me to enjoy the rest of my life. So I did… and I still do. I pledge to help you do the same,” said Aspharr in a hushed tone.

The colt’s words put a smile on the mare’s face. She pulled herself closer to him.

“Can you please promise me to always stay with me?” Oxalis whispered into Aspharr’s ear.

Aspharr held her tighter and whispered backed,

“Always.”