What would you do if you were confronted by a supernatural chaotic being? What if you were saved by a strange girl with purple hair? What if your eyes were open to a completely different world you thought was impossible?
These are the questions that 17-year old Robert Maine has to face when strange occurances begin to happen around him. As he is plunged into the conflict between chaos and harmony, Robert must abandon all that he knows about his own world and take on the attributes of the other. However, doing so may uncover some even bigger consequences than he could even imagine...
Chapters (4)
Awww! Why all the dislikes?!!!
2818352 My guess would be the premise of the story. People judge harshly on HiE type fictions. I however, don't have the time currently to actually read and review the story, so I hope someone else can.
You could even look around the groups to find a group specifically made to review and evaluate fictions, and also giving tips on how to improve.
2818432 Well, this is supposed to be a sort of fun, adventurous, somewhat dark fan fiction. But I'm well aware about how some people react to HiE fan fictions. The reason why I chose this genre is because I saw it as an opportunity to take readers on a wild ride and introduce new concepts and elements into MLP. You know, trying to attempt to expand what we can interpret into the FiM universe. Regardless of some criticism, I'll continue to write this story and improve my style to make the it more interesting.
2818472 Often times, it's actually far better to start small, and then as you gain experience start to add on new ideas and concepts. But, so long as you learn from your mistakes, you'll do fine, albeit with a bad fiction here or there. Just keep at it and you'll develop your own style and make better and better works of fiction.
2818488 Oh, and another thing. This type of story is more of a Ponies at Earth type story. So there's not really any humans going to Equestria...physically.
I found this story exciting! But...a few problems.
1: Your title has interested me, but when I read the story, can you at least prepare the ponies an unexpected way so we can understand how it happened on his side. If not, then you might wanna speed it up.
2: DEAR CELESTIA THE FREAKING PARAGRAPHS!!!
Why does it sound a lot like Equestrian Girls movie? And where's the excitement for the others? Some might need excitement in your story. 
3: Last but not least...I had to read 3 chapters to realize that the ponies just came in.
Long story if you ask me.
But beside that, I find it really good.
2819751 Reader be warned, that's just the beginning. The next chapter is where it REALLY starts to get some excitement. And as for preparing the ponies...let's just say that I'll have a special little surprise that'll explain some of what is happening. BTW, this story takes place I guess about almost a year after Equestria Girls but has almost nothing to do with that storyline.
2819844 Wouldn't it be funny If the human walked up to Celestia, "You have magic, huh? Well I have a gun. What are you gonna do now?"
Hey there, IM INTERESTED in you. Because you manage to write quite a good bit on your first time to publish this. And I WANT to help you.
Now, I'll have to brag on this one. ( Apologise but I want this to be shorter. )
I'll be your editor if you want. Now, I have many plot stories that IS so deep that it can go over the range of over 400 thousand words.
I can help with your words, story line, and pretty much everything else. Although I cannot come up with my own comedy. I can only improve. Same goes with Sad scenes.
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Now, you must understand. That I will often stomp on your balls. Just so I can get you to see what I'm trying to get across. It is what most editors do. But I won't be too harsh as to say something like; This is bullshit I fuckin hate it.
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Your trying to introduce a 'new concept'. Of trying to expand the FiM universe. Like addin more things. Than what Was seen on the show. Actually, there is several other fics that has over 200 likes and 1 or two dislikes. Which has that concept.
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But do not fret. They may have the concept but it is still DIFFERENT from each other.
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Now what your story lacks, and the Should's and shouldn't.
There are other ways of approaching a HiE you know. And you DON'T have to have a villain right away from the beginning. Heck you don't even need a 'One big bad villain' at all. And discord is way to overused. He is better used on Comedy. And a neutral role. Basically dicking around XD. while watchin everywhere.
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Also not alot of people likes anthro ponies ._. sorry but it is how it is. It is more unique if you DON'T make them anthro. Although it will also be bad if you made the human BE THE one who gets turned into a pony instead. It's better off having the human stay...well human.
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I had aleardy thought of a better way to approach this story. But, this story is only good to become a sad one. With this plot line. I calculate it can go to a length of 10k - 15k words. If tried to be any longer. It will end up cliche.
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Look, I really mean it when I said I could think of a good plotline for any kind of genre. But I can only do HiE. But the story will BE EVEN better if it revolves around Chrysalis Or nightmare moon. ( no I don't do CLOP fics ._. )
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I'm sorry but, you need to make a new story entirely. If you are planning on going long terms with Adventure.
If you are interested in me. Message me and I shall now be your editor for the story. If your agreeing on making a new story. Message me what kind if plot line your going for. And what the OC is. And we shall discuss what we will do.
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P.S I live in japan. I could also discuss things more faster. If you add me on LINE.( iPhone app ) Or other chat websites. That can work on iPhone.
Datjapanesekid, out.
Okay, if everypony could just remain silent for just a second, I have something to say. What is up so far is merely the beginning, and already people are expecting it to be, well...not-so-good. Besides the prologue, the first two chapters are meant to introduce the one of the main protagonist characters and set him up for the story. If you guys could just give it another chapter or two to actually reveal the conflict of the story, then you can begin to criticize the story. Thank you.
A tip, if you don't appear apealing for the first time. People wont give it a chance. And they will dislike it.
First time,
"Uhhh this story isn't good DISLIKE"
2nd time ( new person, your story has gotten better at later chapters.)
"Ohh man look at all those dislikes. I'm not giving it a chance."
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But it is how it is, mostly on this site. Plus, the beginning is ALWAYS AND MOST IMPORTANT THING.
The beginning is where you will tell where the story line will go. It will tell how good you write. Sadly, most people are impatient. And cannot simply wait go have it get better.
It is why you should take your time when making chapter.
Also, I'm still open to edit your story. Or help you with a new one. Please reply.
Glad to say that I have finally uploaded chapter 3 of the story!