Chapter Three: Picnic Lunch
Applejack was up very early the next day. She was no Twilight Sparkle, but she knew a bit about organizing teams and work. The next few days were going to be extremely busy, and she was calling in a lot of favors from the extended family. Plans and preparations were taking shape on the little desk she had scooted up to her bed. There was a lot to do today, but at the top of the list was a picnic.
***
Merry May jolted awake as her alarm clock rung itself violently across her dresser. She lunged for it, but got tangled up in her sheets instead. She landed on the floor with a soft thud and groaned in defeat. The manic little alarm clock finally made it all the way to the edge and leapt off, still dinging for all it was worth as it plummeted onto the limp heap that was Merry. Reaching for the now-spent alarm, she turned it to see the time. Six-thirty. Merry flopped back onto the floor. She had no idea why she had even bothered. It had all seemed very important last night that she get up early, while she was still basking in the warm glow of Applejack’s concern and attention. Merry closed her eyes, but the floor was too chilly to really fall asleep on. Sighing, she extracted herself from the blanket, stood up, and shook out her wings.
As she went about her morning grooming, the funk she had woken up in began to dissipate. Yes, Goddess’s knight or not, this was an awful hour to wake up at, but not impossible. She could get used to it. Merry trotted downstairs and opened her icebox. The inside was completely room temperature. She peeked into the drawer that held the ice. Inside was only sloshing water. Merry rolled her eyes and slammed the door shut; there was no breakfast to be had there. Opening a pantry, she made herself a bag of dry sugared oats. Still munching, she checked her mail. A couple of bills and a termination notice from her old job were all that she had gotten while she was away. Tossing the letters and nosebag aside, she wrapped her turban and headed out to face the day.
***
Though he would never admit it, House Divided had one of the best nights’ rest of his life in the Sweet Apple Acres guest room. The blankets smelled like a dusty linen closet, and the furnishings were simple and functional, but the bed was soft and plush, and the warmth from the wood stove downstairs left the room cozy in a way that simply wasn’t possible with electric heat or magefire. Over it all lingered the faint scent of cooked apples, flour, sugar and cinnamon from the countless years of baking and preserving that had left their mark down in the kitchen.
He was dozing peacefully when he heard a loud knocking at the door and a voice yelling, “Professor? Y’all ok in there? It’s nearly eight a.m.!” Before he had a chance to reply, his blankets were ripped from his bed, leaving him suddenly shivering in the morning air.
“What in Tirek’s bloody name did you do that for!?” he yelled, not catching himself before he realized just who he was yelling at.
“Y’all’re still asleep when there’s things ta be doin’. Yer on a farm now, even if it’s technically a palace. Ah’ve been up since before five gettin’ things prepared fer tha day. Mah brother has been up since six helpin’ me with finances and he’s outside now workin’ on winterizin’ tha farm. Even Merry’s out runnin’ errands fer me already.” Applejack frowned at him.
He hopped off of the bed and bowed low. “I-I’m sorry Princess. I didn’t realize…”
“Well now, yer mah tutor in bein’ a princess. Ah’m not gonna have much time today, but Ah’m havin’ a picnic at noon with some friends. You can have somethin’ prepared fer then, but don’t make it too involved. Ah don’t want ya ta bore them.” She turned to leave. “That sound alright to you?”
“Yes Princess,” he said. Applejack nodded and swept off to some other errand. House sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly. Princesses were a lot scarier in person. He was starting to rethink having volunteered for the position.
***
Merry May had been tasked by Applejack with making sure that all her friends knew that their usual Wednesday picnic lunch was still on. Additionally, she’d been given a whole laundry list of other things to ask them. Pinkie Pie was first on the list. Being a baker, she was generally up early helping the Cakes with setting up Sugarcube Corner. Merry trotted up to the colorful door with its cheery ‘Closed, come back soon!’ sign turned up. She knocked politely and sat down on the front step. A moment later she was squashed flat by a mass of pink falling from the sky. “Hi Merry! How’s guard life going?”
“Pinkie?”
“Yeppers peppers!”
“Um, can you get off?”
“Oh! Sure! Whatcha doin’?” she said as she leapt free of Merry.
“Well, firstly I’m here to let you know that Applejack wants to have your regular Wednesday picnic at noon. Also, she wants to know if the Cakes are willing to help cater a huge barn raising that she’s hosting.”
“Got it. I’m sure the Cakes will be hugely happy to host a hoedown for house hefting if Honesty has the hankering.”
“Honesty?”
“Her Highness, Happlejack!”
Merry’s head was spinning by this point. “Ok, just, um, expect somewhere between twenty and thirty ponies.”
“I’ll tell them. Thanks a bunch Merry! Remember to invite me for your birthday in two months!”
“Ok, I… sure. Will do.”
“See ya!”
***
Merry took some time to steady herself on the way to Carousel Boutique. Interacting with Pinkie always took it out of her. Hopefully the rest of Applejack’s friends wouldn’t be quite as energetic. As she approached the boutique, she spotted somepony poking her head out the door to switch the sign to ‘open’.
“Excuse me!” she called, “Is your name Rarity?”
“Why, yes darling! And welcome to Carousel Boutique, where everything is chic, unique and magnifique! Do I know you from somewhere?”
“Kinda, I’m Applejack’s…” Seneschal was flirting with the tip of her tongue, but she couldn’t quite remember the word. “Guard Captain… Merry May.”
A light came on behind Rarity’s eyes. “Ah! Of course. We met at the party after the coronation. Oh, what a party it was too! So many dignitaries and celebrities.” She giggled a bit. “And they all saw how lovely my gown was. Oh! And they even had the little cucumber sandwiches I love so much. I really don’t know how Celestia does it. So much to plan and organize and she did it in no time at all. Still. I guess that’s why she’s a goddess…” Rarity trailed off as she noticed the slightly panicked look in Merry’s eyes. “Ahem. Yes. Is there anything I can help you with dear?”
“Um, yeah. Applejack wanted you to know that she’s on for the picnic at noon and she wanted some advice from you on uniforms and what sort of armor she should order.”
“Oh, that’s excellent to hear. Hmm… I can’t say I’m much help when it comes to armor as a practical garment, but I do know what looks good and what doesn’t. I shall have to make inquiries to some friends of mine in Fillydelphia. All the really nice metalwork comes from there. At least, when it comes to buckles and jewelry I know it does. I believe they also have a reputation for excellent steel… But uniforms! Oh, if I were to design the uniform worn by an entire branch of the armed forces, worn perhaps for generations…” The somewhat high-strung unicorn gracefully fell into a swoon at the perfect angle for Merry to catch her. Merry tried to resist grunting at the weight of the surprisingly heavy mare.
After the barest of moments, and just before Merry started to sweat, Rarity’s eyes fluttered open. “Oh my, I just don’t know what came over me.” She righted herself and glanced up at Merry’s turban. “Is this going to be part of the ensemble?”
“Yes. Yes it will.” Merry’s voice came out a little firmer than intended. She had grown quite attached to her hat.
Rarity raised a hoof towards it. “May I?” She felt the material with the frog of her hoof. “At least it’s very good quality cotton. I think I can work with this.”
“Oh, I was gonna ask, could you maybe stitch a lining into this so I can take it off and put it back on easily?”
“Absolument madame,” she said, dipping briefly into Fancy. “It will be no trouble at all. I just need a few measurements.”
***
‘A few measurements’ turned out to be a half hour of posing and standing in awkward positions and trying on patterns while Rarity fussed and muttered over her sketch pads and drafting board. Finally, pleading lateness, Merry managed to escape her clutches and rush off to Twilight’s library. She knocked on the door, hoping against hope that this would be a more normal interaction. The tiny dragon who lived with Twilight opened the door. Merry had always thought it rather odd that somepony who lived around so many flammable books would choose a dragon as a companion. “Hi, is Twilight in?”
The dragon nodded “Yeah, she’s up. I’ll go get her. She isn’t at her best in the mornings though, so consider yourself warned.”
Merry stepped inside and sat herself on one of the convenient benches. Twilight Sparkle trotted heavily down the steps that led to the second story, bags still under her eyes. “Hi. You must be Merry Hay, right?”
“Almost, it’s Merry May.” She stood up to bump hooves with Twilight.
“Good to meet you officially.” She turned towards the dragon who was still hanging around. “Hay Spike, can you go put the kettle on? Would you like anything Merry?”
“No, I’m good.”
“So, you’re Applejack’s… protégé?” There was a small glint of sadness in Twilight’s eyes as she spoke.
“Um, more like an assistant. A sen- um, senshes…”
“Seneschal?”
“Yes, seneschal. Anyway, I’m here to let you know that Applejack still wants to have your usual Wednesday picnic at noon.”
Twilight stared off into space for a moment before replying. “Ok.”
Merry fidgeted a bit, expecting more of an answer. When none came, she said, “Alright. Um, I have a few letters for your dragon to deliver. It was Spike, wasn’t it?”
“Oh, yeah. Hay Spike!” Twilight called back to the kitchen.
“What?” Came the gruff reply.
“Merry has some stuff to deliver to Celestia.”
“Coming.” Spike trundled back out into the common room, an adorable apron covering his front. “What is it?” he asked, looking at Merry.
Merry dug about in her saddle bags and pulled out a dozen scrolls sealed with an apple sigil. “Here, Applejack said that it was very important that you deliver these one at a time, every hour, on the hour.”
Spike frowned. “What order do they go in?”
Merry hesitated. “I’m actually not sure. That’s all she told me. It’s royal business. I’m not gonna interfere.”
Twilight’s sharp eyes darted across the pile of scrolls, missing nothing. “I see. Go ahead and do as she asks, Spike. I’m going to have a talk with Applejack about this though.”
Spike shrugged, picked out a scroll at random, and incinerated it with a quick, casual puff of flame. The smoke formed into a writhing snake that took off towards the nearest open window. Merry’s eyes went wide at this. She’d heard that the resident dragon had some strange abilities, but seeing them in person was quite another thing entirely. She turned to Twilight. “Well, I guess I will see you later. Bye!”
“Sure. Bye.”
***
Merry flew across the gentle fields towards Fluttershy’s house. The rather mysterious recluse had a very mixed reputation in Ponyville. On the one hoof, she was stunningly beautiful, and was more than a little famous for her brief career as a model that had rocketed her to legendary status seemingly overnight and ended just as abruptly. In public, she tended to avoid all questions and greetings, but was rumored to have a volcanic temper when provoked. In addition, her seemingly obsessive collection of animals raised more than a few eyebrows among the locals, but her skill as an amateur veterinarian was unmatched, outstripping the skills of even the town’s licensed vet.
Merry landed on her front lawn and nervously rapped a hoof on her door. The door opened with nopony on the other side. Merry looked around, confused. A thumping noise from the ground alerted her to a very impatient looking white rabbit who was holding the door open. “Oh, is Fluttershy in? Uh. Do you even speak Equestrian?”
The rabbit rolled his eyes dismissively and slammed the door shut. Merry stayed where she was, utterly confused. She heard somepony trotting up to the other side of the door. With it still closed, she heard the pony mutter, “Who is it?”
“Um, It’s Merry May. Applejack’s seneschal.”
The door opened a tiny crack. “Oh, hello. Um, what can I help you with?”
Merry leaned her head to better see through the crack. “She wanted to say that she was hoping to have your usual picnic at noon today.”
Fluttershy’s voice warmed ever so slightly. “Oh, that sounds like so much fun. I’ll be there.”
“Okay. She’ll be waiting… It was good meeting you Fluttershy. I’ve heard so much about you.”
The door closed a fraction. “Oh, you have?”
“Good things, I’ve heard good things about you.”
The door continued its almost imperceptible journey towards the frame. “That’s nice. Um, I need to go water something… If that’s ok.”
“Ok, uh, bye!”
“…Bye.”
***
Merry flapped hard, trying to gain altitude. This last meeting was the one she dreaded most. Over to the west she spotted a team of pegasi pushing a nimbus into position over a cornfield. Steeling her resolve, she swooped into a gradual dive for speed, aiming straight at them. Long before she reached the cloud, a single pegasus peeled off of the group and headed straight for her. It was obviously Rainbow Dash for several reasons. First was the faint rainbow contrail that followed her. Second was the fact that she was traveling faster in a climb than Merry was in a dive. Sighing, Merry pulled up into a hover. Rainbow swooped past her and looped around to face her. “Merry May! You’ve got some nerve.”
Merry hung her head. “Sorry Ms. Dash.”
“Don’t ‘Ms. Dash’ me. Do you even know how much trouble you caused in the schedule? I tried covering for you for a whole week. When the big boss back in Cloudsdale found out he totally blew his top. Most of us have been pulling overtime to make up for it and everypony is feeling the strain. You screwed up big time, Merry. Not to mention you left all of us hanging.”
“I had to go after Applejack.”
This was apparently the wrong thing to say, as Rainbow Dash’s face changed from a bright cyan to a deep purple. “You had to… I’m her best friend and I stayed back because I knew that I was needed here! Applejack was fine. She’s a big girl and can take care of herself, especially now. You, on the other hoof…” Rainbow glared at Merry. “You left us. Totally not cool.”
“Look, Rainbow Dash, I’m sorry. Like, I still think it was important, and so did Applejack.”
“So you’re saying I wasn’t good enough, huh? Is that it? I should have just abandoned everything?”
“I, no! That isn’t it at all. Dash, I was wrong to leave. It’s just, Applejack needs somepony other than her friends that she can order around. I’m that pony.”
By this time, several of the weather team had surreptitiously drifted closer to overhear the obviously gossip-worthy conversation. Rainbow spotted them and closed her eyes, rubbing the bridge of her nose with a fetlock. “Fine. Look, I’m sure you had some other reason to come here other than to get yelled at by me.”
Merry sighed with relief. “Yeah. She wants to have your regular picnic at noon today. You ok with that?”
Rainbow nodded. “Yeah. Thanks for telling me. I guess I’ll see you around.” She dove over to where her team was making lazy circles. “You bunch get back to work! There’s nothing to see here. Go on! I swear, Thunderlane, if I have to…” They were soon out of earshot.
With her list completed for the morning, and feeling a little like a well-used punching bag, Merry flitted off to grab a well-earned early lunch.
***
Applejack trotted toward the field near Rainbow Dash’s house where she and her friends often picnicked. She was a little nervous. It would be the first time she had spent any real time with her friends since her flight and coronation. House trotted grumpily along behind her, carrying an extra blanket and a sack lunch for himself. He was closely followed by Merry. Applejack was the first to arrive, and she spread out her blanket and set out a basket of fritters that Granny had cooked fresh this morning. Merry and House set up a short distance away and started into their lunches immediately.
Within a minute or two, Fluttershy flitted low over one of the nearby hills, carrying a large napkin full of oatmeal cookies in her mouth. She gently deposited her bundle on the blanket and sat right next to Applejack, on the opposite side from where House and Merry were eating their lunches. “Hi.”
“Hay there, ‘Shy. How’ve ya been?”
“Oh, I’m doing well. I just recently helped a family of swallows with a very contagious cold. It makes me happy when I can see somecritter get better. Um, not that I want them to get sick in the first place. How are you?”
Applejack nodded. Before she could reply, Rarity and Pinkie trotted into view. Pinkie was balancing a plateful of éclairs on her head while Rarity had a crystal platter of deviled eggs hovering at her side. Pinkie, smiling hugely, reared up and waved with both forelegs at Applejack. “Hay! Applejack! It’s been for-ever! I need a hug!” She zoomed up to her friend and glomped her fiercely before letting go and carefully depositing her still-balanced plate of éclairs.
Rarity trotted up soon after, also smiling, and gave Applejack a friendly nuzzle. “It has been a little while, hasn’t it darling? The party or the little planning meeting hardly counts. We were so busy we barely had a chance to catch up.” She glanced across the field to where House and Merry were now engaged in some sort of glaring contest. “And you simply must tell me where Merry got that turban. Material like that is impossible to get outside of Zebrica.”
“Well, Ah don’t know tha whole story mahself, but she was travelin’ with a caravan of camels when Ah met her.”
As Applejack was speaking, Rainbow Dash flew up, carrying a large paper bundle stamped with Horte’s Cuisine all over. She unwrapped it and immediately dug into one of the hoagies it contained. Through a mouthful of bread, lettuce, tomatoes, sprouts and who-knows-what, she said, “Hay AJ!”
“Hay Dash.” Applejack held out a hoof which Dash promptly bumped. “So, Ah hope ya can…”
Applejack was interrupted by a sudden flash of purple as Twilight Sparkle teleported in. She was looking rather frazzled and carrying a very elaborate tea-service with fancy stamped biscuits. Twilight, and the biscuits, looked slightly singed. “Hi! Applejack! Princess! I brought tea!” Twilight glanced over at her platter of biscuits. “Oh no!”
Before she could teleport away, Applejack laid a hoof on her shoulder. “Don’t worry about it. What’s got ya all in a lather, Twi?”
“Me? Oh. Nothing. Everything’s fine. Yes. It’s good to see you.” With that, she sat down firmly and looked away. The various platters and dishes she was levitating settled down with a light clatter, and only a drop or two of spilled tea. Applejack signed internally. If Twilight didn’t feel like talking, Applejack wasn’t going to force her. The six of them settled into their lunch, chatting and laughing together.
***
After the six of them were completely full, and Applejack had retold her little adventure with Luna, AJ waved House over. “So, girls, Ah’m due fer some tutoring in bein’ a princess. If y’all want y’all can stick around and listen in.” There was a chorus of nods and yesses. “Alright House, we’re all ears.”
House trotted up and paced around a bit. “First of all, I’m sorry if I seem flustered. This isn’t the sort of classroom I’m used to. Right. The role of the Alicorns in government. Ahem. As you know, in ancient days, the pony tribes each ruled themselves separately from the others in an uneasy sort of alliance. The three mightiest tribes, Earth, Unicorn and Pegasus, eventually fell into infighting and deep intrigue, bringing about the long winter. What most don’t know, is that Celestia was present for all of…”
“House, we know all that already. Heck, Ah was the next best thing ta there for it.”
House went a bit red in the face. “Well, I’m sorry to have insulted the superior knowledge of a Princess. Shall I just go?”
“Calm down. Ah jest mean y’all can skip ahead to what it means. Ah know what happened back then.” Applejack held an éclair out to him as a peace offering.
Somewhat surprised by the gesture, he levitated it over to himself and took a bite before continuing. “Well, in those days, their legends and stories were replete with accounts of Celestia acting as a sort of arbiter in their conflicts and maintaining balance between them until the day they betrayed her. However, she always remained aloof from their more day to day concerns.
“After the Diaspora and Unification, Celestia and Luna began to show up in a more defined role as benevolent defenders of ponykind, taming the dangers and demons of the world. However, the burden of rulership fell upon the Princes and Princesses of the tribes. In those days, prince simply meant first, without the connotation of royalty and godhood that the title now carries. The Unicorn Princess was always the rightful Queen of the Unicorns, while the Earthlings and Pegasi had various methods of election to determine who should lead.
“The Triumvirate, the three chief princes of the ponies, held absolute power over ponykind. When any two of them agreed on a matter, it became law to be executed by the lesser nobles. This arrangement might have continued indefinitely if it weren’t for the Shattering.” House paused. One of the unicorns listening had her hoof raised. “Yes?”
Rarity cleared her throat before responding. “The Shattering, I have heard this term before, but I am not entirely clear on what it refers to. Would you care to elaborate on it?”
Twilight turned to her friend. “I can answer that, if you don’t mind, House?” House shrugged, so Twilight continued. “The Shattering was a very dark time for ponykind. This was the time of Discord, when he first wreaked his insanity on the world. A huge force of demons and monsters laid siege to Equestria, causing madness and horror wherever they went. A lot of the songs and poems of the time describe it as a battle of chaos and order, with each side locked into brutal war. The tales tell also of a mighty dragon who sacrificed himself to become the avatar of balance so that Celestia and Luna could forge and wield the Elements of Harmony. Afterwards, the princes were dead, and the nobility was greatly weakened. Celestia and Luna then stepped in as rulers. That period also saw the rise of the Crystal Empire, as the crystal ponies rejected the rule of the three great tribes. Is that right, professor?”
House Divided nodded, impressed in spite of himself. “Essentially. Something to remember is that, in general, ponies are creatures of peace and stability. They wanted rulers who would always be there for them, who would be as eternal and unchangeable as the sun and the moon. The nobility wasn’t quite ready to give up its power, however, which lead to the formation of the first Equestrian Parliament. The government was restructured under the fiction that the body of the parliament would stand in for the third prince of the ancient Triumvirate. If Celestia and Luna were unified in anything, their word was absolute. If one wanted to override the other, they needed the support of a majority of parliament. There is much more to how this system played out in real politics, but that is the gist of it.”
From across the fields, the Ponyville clock tower struck out one o’ clock. Applejack stirred herself. “Well, Ah guess that’s a good place ta stop fer today. Ah’ve got more letters ta write and mah friends need to get back to their jobs. Thanks fer sayin’ yer piece.” She and her friends said their goodbyes and started gathering up their things. Before they left, Applejack felt her hackles rise, and she spun to face the nearest tree. “Who’s there? Ah can buck a grown oak out a tha ground no sweat. That little tree ain’t gonna hide ya.”
Timidly, Goldengrape trotted out from the other side of the tree. He promptly prostrated himself flat on the ground at Applejack’s hooves. “Don’t banish me!” he wailed. Merry May rushed up instantly and placed a hoof on his back, a look of anger on her face.
Applejack trotted a full circle around him. “Well. After what ya did a couple a weeks ago, I might do jest that. Whut possessed ya ta come crawlin’ back here?”
“I-I was hoping that you could lift the blight on my crops. I’ll do whatever you want. Just, please, lift the curse. I could lose my vineyard.”
Rainbow Dash’s eyes went huge. “Woah, you cursed him? Serves him right for stealing a feather off of your wing.”
Applejack backpedaled a bit. “Ah never did! Ah ain’t that way. If Ah was gonna settle things, Ah would do it mahself, in person.” Her eyes narrowed and she leaned down to glare in his face. “On tha other hoof, Ah don’t feel too inclined ta help a pony who’d pull a sleazy move like that. What do you think, girls?” She turned around so he couldn’t see and winked at her friends. “Should Ah go easy on him?”
Rarity, deadly serious, suggested, “Perhaps you should sell him as a slave to the Diamond Dogs. See how he likes being treated like chattel.”
Applejack was pretty sure Rarity wasn’t joking in the least. “Uhm, that’s one option. How about you Fluttershy? Whut should we do with this rotten grape?”
Fluttershy got a stern look in her eyes. “It was a very mean thing that he did. I don’t think he should get any supper… Ever. No more dinner.”
Dash cut in. “That’s actually pretty good Fluttershy, but I was thinking he should have to clean all the toilets and outhouses in the whole duchy. Maybe we can keep him on bread and water while he does it.”
Pinkie started bouncing around. “Oh, oh, oh! We should draw and quarter him! With real crayons and loose change!”
Applejack looked at Twilight, who seemed almost as nervous as Goldengrape. She hesitantly volunteered. “Well, violating the body of a Princess, even a feather, is technically high-treason. He could be banished and imprisoned in the place we banish him to…”
Applejack, her own anger thoroughly deflated in the face of her friends’ wrath, turned back to look at Goldengrape. He was quivering on the ground, still pinned by Merry. Applejack leaned down to look him in the eye once more. “Ah was thinkin’ more along the lines of you givin’ mah feather back and volunteerin’ ta cater all the city-council meetings free of charge until next summer. But if Ah hear of you doin’ anythin’ like this again, Ah’ll let mah friends have their way. Ya hear?”
Goldengrape nodded vigorously.
“Good. Ah’ll swing by yer farm in a couple a days ta see what Ah can do. Let him up, Merry.”
Merry lifted her hoof off of his back. Goldengrape promptly started shuffling backwards, still bowing, until he was out of range. He then turned and high-tailed it for the hills.
Applejack watched him go. “Ah wonder how he knew we were here?”
Rainbow Dash’s eyes narrowed into slits. “Thunderlane…”
Applejack glanced over at Rainbow Dash. “It ain’t that big a deal. Still, thanks fer havin’ mah back like that, girls. Ah’m probably gonna have ta hold court sooner or later. Maybe doin’ it after a picnic wouldn’t be that bad an idea… That is, if you gals’re ok with it.”
Rainbow Dash spoke for the rest of them. “Of course! No way we’d let you do that all by yourself.”
Applejack smiled. She really had the best friends in the world.
I'm impressed you knew what the point of "bread and water" was! It was to constipate you, not make you hungry, like most people think.
> vomited out about 3,000 words all at once
I know that feel.
Can't quite figure out what's eating Twilight. She's getting all high-strung for no reason... actually I know exactly what it is. I guess I just expected her to have learned these things by now. Silly Twilight.
Huh. So, that's the name of the pony who stole a feather from AJ in the first volume. The things you learn (I say this because, to my knowledge, he wasn't named in the first volume).
As a side note, is Kwakerjak's story considered canon within this universe?
Mmmmmm... delicious back story and head canon.
I love it! Also, doth mine eyes detect Twilight scared of not impressing the new princess?
"Came" shouldn't be capitalized, since "Came the gruff reply" isn't a complete sentence. Making it lowercase will attach it to the preceding quote.
Hah! That's very, very Pinkie.
vomited, yummy choice of words my friend. anyway, please don't keep us waiting so long for the next chapter! please!
Well, besides my slight disagreement over the origins of the princess' (which may or may not be addressed this season, depends) this is a rather nice story.
You can tell your really into a history lesson when your saddened by the words "that’s a good place to stop for today."
Why's human history gotta be so boring?
I'm surprised Twilight's head didn't explode at that point.
It's nice to see the incident with Goldengrape get resolved, I was wandering what had happened to him since the last story. The girls seemed a bit harsh on him, though. Seriously, sell him to the Diamond Dogs? Geez, Rarity, did he burn down your house or something? Chill out, girl.
good job man. i was wondering where you went, these updates being so much more spaced out than Appletheosis. anyway great chapter man and keep up the good work
1959643..........? I'm not trying to rush you. I just feel that this story is gonna have more to it than the last one... I COULD be wrong but time will tell. I haven't forgotten who the author is.
Do I detect a bit of jealousy from Twilight? Whatever it is, it's definitely not something she should be worrying about...... On the other hand, Magic Kindergarden! She really needs to stop being so neurotic...
I second this notion; Make it so!
AJ might have cursed his crops and not realize it.
1961172
I'm with them. The dude went mad crazy creeper there. How would you react if you had a sister that was getting mobbed by people, and some guy ran up and yanked out a bunch of her hair to take home with him?
He'd be maimed or worse come morning, thank you.
It was said before but I want to restate it.
This is one of the greatest thing that I have read...EVER.
I may be exaggerating a bit, but that doesn't exclude the fact that this is an amazing quote.
When Rarity says the word "measurements", my mind immediately pictures whatever is depicted inside it running away as fast as it can.
Draw and quarter... I'll have to borrow that one sometime.
I wonder if AJ is going to replace the parliament now...
now i have to wait for another chapter!
I thought this chapter was quite nice sir!
I liked to see how Merry May thought of the other Main Six.
I am a history person and I thought your account of Equestria History was nice, though I find the notion that Discord launched an organized invasion with demons or whatever surprising considering how powerful he is and how he seems to view the world as his own personal playground. He just doesn't strike me as someone who likes to share his toys (ie everything else). I don't blame you for skirting over that part of history though because it's so vague and really if Celes and Luna are supposed to be divine and they are no match for him without the Elements...
The whole dragon sacrificing himself thing was also surprising. I find myself wanting to know more about that but overall good lecture on Equestrian history 101.
The Goldengrape scene I find rather drastic change in tone that they were so serious over a plucked feather. TS, RD, and FS seemed in character but Rarity's reaction was odd to me. Oh, PP's made me lol!
It was a good chapter and I would recommend following up on what you've set up. More things need to start happening action wise (when I say action I don't mean kung foo fights I just mean verbs).
Keep up the good work!
PS: RD's scolding of Merry May was well handled and fitting overall.
Love the story so far. I hope you update it soon.
There's just one thing that keeps bugging me, you're using "hay" wrong. "Hay" is dried grass, wheat, and/or corn stalk bundled together as a feed for farm animals. "Hey" is what you say to get someone's attention.
Here's an example of both being used properly:
"Hey, Bob, could you throw some hay in the horse pen?"
Now, seeing as how you are quite definitely a highly talented writer, and considering what fandom this is, One can assume that the misuse of "Hay" was an intentional play on words. However, this is not a very good one, as some people would miss it entirely, others would find it annoying, and there's a good chance you'll need to use the word's proper meaning somewhere in the fic, at which point it would confuse a reader.
1961816
They have manes, that's the equivalent to hair. Feathers fall out and molt all the time, it's weird to have it as such a big deal as to suggest SELLING HIM AS A SLAVE TO CRUEL CREATURES!
Good stuff as alway and i gotta add that you are a sneaky one. That thing with Twilight is starting to pull on my curiosity more and more.
Twilight must really be stressed out to make such a mistake... Applejack wasn't officially recognised as a princess at the time her feather was stolen...
And yes, the real crayons made my day too.
Just an FYI I have a Merry May blindbag... She might be a crystal blindbag but I still have her... I don't suppose you'd be willing to trade?
I wonder if Applejack subconsciously blighted Golden Grape's vineyard? It might be worth checking out just in case. Stuff like this... well, when you're an alicorn, you can never take anything for granted.
I wonder if Twilight is caught mid-way between her need to worship the princesses and the fact that Applejack is her friend. She's got a perceptional disconnect between 'Applejack' and 'Princess Mara' that she is having a very difficult time dealing with.
I enjoyed Merry's introduction to the Mane Six. Being the Princess's #1 assistant is going to be a difficult thing, especially given the number of eccentrics that make up her close circle. I do think that Rainbow was being a bit harsh on her though. Merry was being motivated by something that she didn't understand. I suspect that she was called to serve Applejack on a spiritual level; a natural quality that all alicorns have and unconsciously use to draw their closest advisers to them. I sometimes wonder if the common fanon fascination Twilight has for Luna might be something similar. Merry is a very small piece in a game that goes far beyond her ability to understand and I think she deserves consideration and understanding because of that.
1963220
I think that it is an act of disrespect to take a feather from a pegasi or alicorn without their permission, sort of liking jumping on a woman to cut off a lock of hair as a keepsake.
In any case, can you imagine Rarity tolerating anypony disturbing somepony's hard-won perfect appearance? Especially when it's a good friend like Applejack?
Screw black chitin, endo-steel plating is where it's at.
Also, I am quite interested in seeing just what's eating Twilight Sparkle.
1963609
As usual, Ben is someone whose thought processes I can actually respect around this place. That was my thinking as well.
1963220
Hair falls out all the time, too. So you shouldn't be offended if someone yanks it out, right? Nevermind that it likely hurt like hell, especially depending on what kind of feather it is. Point remains, this creeper ripped part of her body off to keep for himself. Yeah, sell him to work in the Diamond Dog mines.
Besides, did it NEVER occur to you that they were possibly participating in a little Good Cop, Bad Cop routine? That's always a possibility.
Huh, didn't expect that severe of a response from them. I don't think I like where this is going.
Applejack could probably almost grant fluttershy's oddball wish of being a tree. That would be an interesting punishment for doing bad things to the nature princess... 5 years as an apple tree.
To Those Concerned About The Feather:
1960933>>1961172>>1961816>>1963083>>1963220>>1963609>>1963794>>1963806
Twilight brings up the salient point here. It was a violation of the body. The actual part of the body is irrelevant. It would be the same as if someone, yes, stole your hair or clipped your toenails while you were sleeping, or grabbed you inappropriately/roughly. In my book, and Rarity's, that's inexcusable. For further reading, have a TVTropes link. If you don't consider it a horrific act in the light of what else I have mentioned, please rethink your treatment of women. Also, while the rest of the six were disgusted, they did provide a more balanced view of the event.
1960848 Ahem... Yes... Well... I actually thought it was because it was cheap and boring... So, accidental correctness. Yay!
1960880 It's several things.
1960933 Yeah, it is.
1960943 Among other things.
1961001 Thanks!
1961040 I'm all, , then suddenly, words!
1961056 Thanks! Also, I think you've mentioned that several times.
1961100 Because the wrong people tell it. Try this, you're guaranteed to lol at a few of them. I personally love the Angelo Saxon Ordeals one, also the one about Burke and Hare if you can find it.
1961175 On the other hand, the chapters are 2-3 times longer...
1962373>>1961628 Haha, thanks. It felt like a rather obvious line.
1961662 Very good point!
1962392 She is a very... Enthusiastic seamstress.
1962576 It will come up later too.
1962748 See, there is the sticky wicket that Celestia is trying to solve in the background. More on that later.
1962862
1963083 That is a well-crafted comment! As to Discord launching an organized invasion... If you are a history person, you should know how stories can get distorted and characters can get conflated or even split over time...
1963162 ...Yes, you caught me. It's a deliberate conceit. It amuses me personally though.
1963237
1963497 True, but the difference between Applejack then and now is: Before she was an immensely powerful titan worshiped by ponies far and wide who is immortal and unstoppable with the exception of Celestia and Luna and who, unopposed, could utterly remake Equestria in her own image. Afterwards, she had bronze accents on her hat. The coronation was a formality, really. So is the due process of law. This will come up later.
1963516 Sadly, I have nothing to trade.
1963609 Well said, as usual!
1963612 You'll seeeeee!
1964558 Now that is an amusing thought.
On the feather thing yes it is a very valid violation of her body. Heck all things considered if you bury that feather you might have good soil for like... ever! Much to AJ's unhappiness.
Touche on the history point, that's why I wasn't like "gargh! fictional history incorrect! Unsubscribe! Unfav!"
You did good on the history. There are some things I've come up with because I'm an infallible genius but I love to see what other have thought of that I have not. I would be reluctant to ask you to bring Discord into the mix because... well... he's got a habit of complicating everything for such a simple character.
1963806 With the exception of possibly Rarity, I think they weren't being serious, and were just playing along.
It's gonna be a while before I find another creative "request for comments" that can top this one.
Have a couple theories about what could be eating Twilight...might be more than one thing too, on that note.
Anyway, liked immensely, awaiting for more.
You know, it also wouldn't be surprising if that tree "told" AJ that Goldengrape was hiding behind it.
AND that all the vines in the vineyard went "on strike" against GG for violating THEIR goddess's body.
Twilight should also have given a literal quote from the Equestrian Book of Law to confirm the fact that GG had indeed committed high treason, AND the penalty for it.
1964595 I'd like to say that I never actually stated my opinion one way or the other on the feather. The first part of my comment was regarding the thief's name. I personally think AJ is being fair in her judgement here. She's new to her position, and trying to give the impression of a benevolent ruler, same as Celestia. Still, I bet Goldengrape is never going to attempt to steal from a princess again.
1965145
... What? This happened long before the tutor was even an issue with the story. He's also not exactly having the time of his life, so I doubt he'd be one to try and work such plots ahead of time.
1965057
Those were javelins, not spears. And considering that "war", "bullets" and "tanks" are canon, I highly doubt they're still at the sticks and stones level of military weaponry.
1964595
You would sell someone into slavery for taking some hair or toenail clippings?
Wat?
i.imgur.com/v7n5A.gif
1964640 Well, I was considering a side-story to describe The Shattering, to go along with The Shadow of the Goddess. I'm waiting for the next episode to see if I'm right about a few things first though. Also, from a stolen feather, good soil, or bad soil?
1964726 Challenge accepted.
1964839 I like the way you think.
1965000 Right, I was just making a blanket reply to everyone who mentioned it. Also, yes on both counts.
1965057 *looks at your avatar* *looks at your comment* *looks back at your avatar* No artillery, huh?
1965145 'Cause there's a lot of it.
1965296 Exactly, and artillery co-existed with spears, pikes and lances as effective units on the battlefield for quite some time in real life.
1965434 You are understating the case under discussion. If they ripped them from my body with no warning or permission, then flaunted them as a status symbol, I would consider prison. If they did the same to my best friend, I don't know what I'd do. I probably would start attacking then and there. Perhaps that's old-fashioned of me, but I take such things seriously. One's person is sacred and is to be defended.
1965550
Fair enough.
1964595
One other point to consider about the feather thing: There is that bit of magical lore that says that if you have a piece of someone's body, you can control that person. Most worrisome with a new princess.
Also, wow. That scene really sealed it in my mind: out of all the Mane Six, Applejack is the best one to have ascended. She's the least likely to let the power change who she is. Sorry, Twilight.
Oh, and I quite like how Twilight and Dash are handling their issues with the situation. Very in character, very nicely executed.
I have this terrible gut wrenching need to see all three princesses display their cosmic powers at the same time. It would be so aaaweesoooomeee.
I want The Earth to rise up, meteors to rain down, and solar beams to go flying.
1965550
Indeed. However, the fellow I was responding to made it seem as though he was criticizing your usage of Big Mac as part of an artillery detachment, or rather the fact that artillery existed at all. Which A: Doesn't matter when it comes to fanfiction. B: Is actually still supported by canon either way.
Load the mortars, I say!
1964595 While I do agree that he was a complete asshole, sending him into slavery seems like more than a bit much. That's the one that really made me go, "wait a second girls, can't we be civil about this?" The rest of their suggestions were within the realm of reason, although Fluttershy's would be nigh unenforceable. Maybe I should have been more specific. To me that sort of seemed like, to use your own analogy. "He groped a girl, let's cut off his hands!" Which, unless you're absolutely psychotic, is a bit of an overreaction.
OH NO U DIDN'T!!
1965000 As it should be.
1964839 Grapes: Halt, criminal scum! You violated my mother!
well just to throw it out there. didn't Applejack already know who stole the feather and if so as she is connected to the earth, the earth also would hate him and therefore the earth would slowly leave the offender.
Fluttershy seemed a little vindictive.
Other than that, great chapter.
1965550
If someone plucked a single strand of hair, would it matter the same as to you that they tugged a sharp fistful of hair? Pulling a pinion feather is often common for feathered species, even in the show rainbow dash and Fluttershy tugged one out before. A Single pinion feather is not the equivalent of yanking an entire head of hair or cutting it.
But yes, it is indeed a dramatic over-reaction to have someone willingly say they should be sold as Slaves to a Cruel Work species as a first reaction, as it is absolutely horrifying!
Of course if this is the proper reaction to things, no wonder everyone is so willing to grovel and beg and treat the princesses as one above them despite how often they try to "Fit in" and make sure everyone is comfortable around them, because a single mistep can leave them screwed for the rest of their lives, potentially bringing issues for their family and friends if something isn't done right.
1963794
The description itself says that Applejack could sense that she was deadly serious and not joking in the least, nor was there any reason to do any good cop/bad cop routine because it's not an interrogation, it's a trial, they were deciding his fate
And yes, I've had my hair torn out before from the scalp, but that would be the crime of battery, it would not entail someone being sold into Slavery nor would I ever wish that upon any person who has done that to my being, and it was a feather, which is more akin to pulling few a hair rather then yanking a patch of hair from the scalp. Either that or when I had to pluck chickens for a while they would be fighting a fair bit more then what they did.
1965920 Thanks! I was wondering when someone would notice Dash's little issues. Everyone's so up in arms about the feather thing that I really wonder if most of them noticed the rest of the chapter...
1965983 That would be cool indeed.
1968327>>1974651>>1971543 Eh, I'm somewhat tired of discussing it. I've said my piece in several posts, and do not really wish to clutter up the comment section with it. It really disappoints me that there was so little that you all, as a group, had to say about the rest of the chapter. If anything, that's the biggest reason I regret adding it.
1968797 Rarity's no Applejack, but she ain't no Fleur either. Girl got muscle!
1969222>>1970859 Seems a fair assumption.