Just one week.
Fanfic by englishwitch
Edited by DerpyDash2131
Disclaimer: The following is an entirely fan-created parody. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, its characters and all other affiliated merchandise are the intellectual property of Lauren Faust and Hasbro. Please support the official MLP: FiM show.
I make no profit, or money at all, for the production and distribution of this fanfiction.
Chapter 5
Day 2
Twilight woke to the gentle humming of Spike. The smell of pancakes reached her nose a second later.
With a smile, she opened her eyes. Spike was carrying a plate stacked high with pancakes that were decorated with blueberries and dripping with maple syrup.
"Breakfast, Twilight." Spike smiled as he brought the plate up to her.
"Breakfast in bed?" Twilight grinned as she sat up to eat. "Thank you, Spike. That's so nice."
Spike blushed and handed the plate over. "Well, actually, it was your mom's idea. She said 'you should enjoy a good breakfast, and not worry, she'll take care of everything.'"
"Take care of everything?" Twilight looked at the clock and gasped. She should have been up almost two hours ago. She had to open the library. She leapt out of bed, almost spilling her breakfast over the floor.
"Twilight, relax." Spike tried to reason with her, but she didn't hear him. With mighty leaps, she dashed down the stairs, taking them four at a time.
"WAAAAAAA!!!" Twilight screamed as she crashed into a stallion at the foot of the stairs. The two of them tumbled together in one huge ball of hair and hooves, rolling across the library floor until they crashed into the far wall.
Moaning and groaning, the two ponies untangled themselves from each other.
"Wow that hurt." The stallion groaned, "I got to be more careful where I stand." A brown coat, a dark brown mane and an hourglass for a cutie mark. Time Turner, the clock maker and repair pony for all of Ponyville. He single-hoofedly made sure the Ponyville clock tower always ran on time.
"Sorry Turner." Twilight blushed and rubbed her head with a hoof. "I didn't expect anypony to be in here.
"Didn't Spike tell you, dear?"
Twilight and Turner looked to the voice, Twilight Velvet was approaching. "I opened the library for you. I can run things for a little while so you can sleep in. You really do work too hard." She looked at the two of them. "My, you're bleeding."
Twilight looked down at herself. Her knee was scraped, but it was nothing worse than a trickle of blood. "I'm fine." Twilight mutter, guessing where this was leading.
"No, no." Twilight Velvet. She threw a hoof around her daughter and dragged her to the table in the middle of the room. Her horn glowed with a white aura. A small white box floated out of the kitchen and landed between the two of them. "We should get that cleaned and dressed. Don't want it getting infected now, do we?"
Twilight sighed heavily as her mother used her magic to open the box, her first aid kit, to pull out cotton swabs, antiseptic and a small bandage.
"Mum, I don't need a bandage, it's just a graze."
"We should keep the area clean, now, bring up that knee."
Twilight complied, only because she knew if she didn't Velvet would use her magic to bring it up herself. She glowered at Turner, who was looking at the book case with rapt attention, but was fooling no one, he was snickering too loudly.
Velvet dabbed the swaps with the disinfectant, carefully cleaned Twilight's knee and wrapped the gauze bandage around the minor injury. "There we go. Good as new."
Twilight pulled her leg from the table before her mother decided to kiss it better. "Can I help you with anything Turner?" She rounded on the brown pony, who shook his head slowly, an irritating grin on his face.
"Just looking for some light reading." He smirked. "Might be a while."
Twilight growled quietly. Her horn glowed, and her magic grabbed a random book from the Romance section. "Here." She hovered the book in front of his face.
He looked at the cover, a mare with the wind blowing through her mane standing on a cliff top, looking out to sea.
"I don't know."
"It's great." Twilight said flatly. Her levitation expanded and gripped Turner, dragging both pony and book to the door. "You'll laugh, you'll cry, it'll change your life." She pushed the pony outside, pushing the book into his hooves and closed the door on his face.
She turned to face her mother. Velvet looked at her, with incredulity. "If that's how you treat customers it's no wonder the place is empty most of the time." She sighed and shook her head, showing a patience only a parent can show. "Time Turner and I were having a lovely conversation while he browsed. Did you know he's single?"
Twilight said nothing. She thought Turner had a budding relationship with Derpy, the mail mare. Maybe not a full relationship yet but certainly more than friendship.
"Where's Dad?" She hoped the change of subject would work.
Velvet's posture became stiff. "Your father decided to sneak out when I wasn't looking instead of helping me." She said in a hot tone. "He's probably out somewhere making a fool of himself."
Twilight’s stomach suddenly growled very loudly. Her mother shook her head. “You shouldn’t skip breakfast dear, it’s not good for you. Now, you head upstairs and have those pancakes.”
“Ummm...too late.” Spike emerged, with an empty plate in his hands, syrup around his mouth and a sheepish grin.
Velvet sighed, smiled and shook her head. “Okay.” She half laughed. “I’ll just make some more. Spike, can you be a dear and hold the fort for just a few minutes?”
Spike nodded his head, a proud smile on his face. “No problem Auntie Velvet. I’ve taken care of the library before.”
Velvet looked surprised. “Oh really?” She said nothing else but her look urged Twilight to follow her. It was one of those unspoken commands that a parent could somehow communicate. Twilight never knew how, or when, parents learned how to do that.
She was led down into the kitchen where Velvet began mixing up a fresh batch of pancake batter while Twilight busied herself with her usual morning cup of tea.
“You leave Spike in charge of the library, alone?” Velvet asked, trying to sound casual.
“He’s my assistant, mum.” Twilight explained. She took her cup of tea and sat at the small table.
“He’s been in and around libraries all his life. He knows how to take care of the place when I’m not around. And the Ponyville library is a lot easier to run than the school library in Canterlot.”
“But he’s just a baby dragon.” Velvet looked concerned.
“He’s almost eleven. He’s only a baby in dragon terms. They live for thousands of years; he won’t even be considered a teenager until he’s almost a hundred.”
“He’s still a baby.” Velvet replied. “Maybe you work him too hard?”
Twilight sipped at her tea, choosing not to get into the same old argument. Spike had plenty of free time and enjoyed the work and responsibility he was given. He was never shy about complaining if he thought he was being treated unfairly. She wished her mother could see that. But, as always, she had a bit of a blind spot when it came to Spike.
Twilight Velvet finished the pancakes, stacking them on a clean plate and drizzling them with syrup. Twilight Sparkle licked her lips as the meal hovered across the room and landed in front of her. She was about to take her knife and fork when her mother snatched the utensils in her own magic and started to cut the pancakes into bite size pieces.
“Mum?” She looked at Velvet, who grinned sheepishly as she realised what she was doing; she was cutting up Twilight’s pancakes for her, as she had done when her daughter was a filly.
“Sorry, force of habit.” She half laughed and let Twilight take the utensils in her own magical aura of levitation. “I’ll head back upstairs and make sure Spike is okay?”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “He’ll be fine, mum. He knows we’re down here. He’ll call if he needs any help. Sit down and have some tea. We haven’t had the chance to catch up yet.”
Velvet looked to the stairs for a few seconds then nodded. Her child’s logic this time was sound, Spike would call if he needed help. She sat at the table, her horn aglow while the tea made itself behind her back. Twilight never knew how she did that, the last time she’d tried to move something without looking at it the only thing she’d done was leave a stain on the ceiling that still refused to vanish- even under the most intense cleaning spells!
“So,” Velvet smiled, “are you seeing anypony?”
Twilight sighed and shook her head. A chance to talk, really talk, and that was the subject she brought up. “No mum. There’s been no pony. No dates, no relationships, no dinners for two, or coffee in the afternoon, or secret midnight rendezvous. I’m not seeing anypony at all.”
Her mind briefly flashed to an image of Big Macintosh and the experience they had shared. No, he didn’t count. It was to get Smarty Pants back and she’d Pinkie Promised never to speak of it again.
The teacup landed gently on the table in front of Velvet. “It’s a shame. I had hoped you might meet somepony at Shining’s wedding. But I suppose, what with the changelings and all...”
Twilight stopped halfway through her breakfast. “Mum, please. Can we not talk about this? I just haven’t had time for dating. I’ve been too busy with my studies. I can’t let down the princess.”
Velvet smiled proudly. “I know dear. You never liked the thought of letting anypony down, but I’m sure the princess would let you to take a break from your studies to explore relationships.”
“Maybe she would.” Twilight sighed. “But I just haven’t met that special somepony yet.”
“You won’t while you spend your nights inside with your studies and your books. You should try and get out more, socialise with ponies and make some more friends.”
Twilight sighed inwardly. This conversation could go on all day with the two of them saying the same things again and again. She bought herself a few minutes of silence by stuffing her mouth with pancakes. Velvet took the time to drink her tea. She was beginning to sense that the subject needed to be changed.
She cleared her throat. “I -”
They were suddenly interrupted by a yell from upstairs. Spike yelping in shock. Both mares leapt away from the table and raced up the stairs into the main library room.
They both skidded to a halt at the sight before them.
Night Light was wearing a long coat, it was the golden yellow colour of fresh straw, decorated with a whole rainbows worth of gems along the cuffs, trim and hem. It ran long down his flank, almost hiding his cutie mark.
Twilight Sparkle and Velvet, stared with twin expressions of shock, horror, fear, and disgust.
"Dad...what happened?"
Night Light proudly turned, letting the mares get a full look at his new garment. Twilight Sparkle almost facehoofed, in the centre of the coats back were silver rhinestones arranged to look like her fathers cutie mark.
"You like?" He asked, his grin widening. "Pretty cool? Pretty stylish and hip?"
"Where in Equestira did you get that thing?" Velvet asked, her eyes widening in dismay.
Night Light seemed oblivious to their dislike, "There's a marvelous boutique here in town, run by Sparkle's friend Rarity." He nodded to his daughter. "She's told us all about her in her letters. Well, since she's a mare on the cutting edge of fashion I decided to browse. I caught her working on this as soon as I walked in."
Twilight shook her head in disbelief. "Rarity was making THAT?!"
Night Light nodded proudly. "She was making the coat, I made the suggestion of the gems to add a little... pizazz. " He seemed happy with his choice of word. "I'm sorry, kiddo, I know you aren't up to date on what's cool, but I don't think that Rarity is as talented a fashionista as you think she is. She fought against all my suggestions. She thought something plain and boring would be better." He laughed lightly and shook his head. "I managed to persuade her in the end, and I know she realised she was wrong, as she had tears of joy in her eyes as I left."
Twilight Sparkle really did facehoof this time. She made a mental note to apologize to Rarity later. She made a second mental note to get Spike to 'accidentally' burn that coat the second her father took it off. "You've been out in public, like that?" She already knew the answer but she couldn't help herself.
Night Light shrugged. "I know, I should have waited until tonight, a big unveiling at the bar. But once it was finished I couldn't resist showing it off." He glanced at Twilight Velvet. "By the way, I'm going out tonight. I ran into a few guys from Canterlot and made a few pals here in Ponyville, we're meeting up tonight at the inn."
Velvet rolled her eyes and sighed. "Another night of drinking?"
Night Light shrugged casually, "I'm just having a little fun." He swaggered off, heading back out the door and out into Ponyville.
Twilight Sparkle looked at her mother, who just sighed and shook her head.
"You're not going to say anything, are you?" She pressed.
Velvet just shook her head. "If your father wants to make an ass of himself, that's his prerogative." A face by the window caught her attention; Cranky Donkey had been walking by as she had spoken. "No offence."
Cranky nodded his head and grunted. "None taken."
Twilight Sparkle looked over to Spike, who was still staring into space, in a state of shock. She waved a hoof in front of his face, he didn't even blink. "SPIKE!" She shouted in his face. The dragon flinched and snapped back to reality.
"Twilight?" He looked at her in shock. "Your dad...he-"
"I know Spike." She said grimly. "I saw." She felt a shudder. A coat like that wouldn't look good outside of a Sapphire Shores concert. It wasn't for general wear and wouldn't have looked good on a stallion half his age.
"He forced Rarity to make something so ugly." Spike shook his head. "Can I go visit? Make sure she's okay?"
Twilight smiled at Spike's concern. "Of course, go ahead."
Spike was out of the door so fast he was just a purple blur. Pinkie Pie on coffee couldn't move so fast.
oh lord, the old man is trying to dress hip. Poor Rarity.......
Waaaaaaaaait a minute....all I shall say is.....Bernard Black
Blame accepted.
Maybe he could try some extreme hobbies with Rainbow Dash like skydiving and bungee jumping, maybe even take Scootaloo's ride out for a spin. As for Twilight's boyfriend I personally go for a Ponyville unicorn I call Comet Tail (background character, yellow coat blue mane and tail with a shooting star as a mark) since you can fit a personallity into him (Not that I want to encourage Velvet).
Well anything that he didn't do before is a good suggestion, new careers... Maybe him thinking if Big Mac can buck trees he can. Stuff like that, comic relief. If you'd like I can PM you some BAD I mean good suggestions. I got one in particular that will work just fine for you
Another great chapter! Twilight's dad is so fly! Maybe he could fight somepony, like Big Mac, to prove he's still got it, or he could join a band, or even get a tricked-out chariot!
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And the prize goes to you for getting the reference
poor poor Rarity...
and yes yes I understand... no really I do. I hate writer's block as well. But I feel like despite it's short aspect it worked pretty well.
And as for what else you could do with a mid-life crisis in Equestira... well... I guess there's the Wonderbolts. I'm not sure exactly what he would do there but there's that... OH! ...hot air balloon and airships?maybe? IDK it's just something i thought of.
Personally I don't envy you... I'm not sure how I would write a mid-life crises either! So I'd say the way it's been going for you has gone pretty well! ..OH! ...maybe some gambling? it doesn't have to be lots of money or... IDEA
...so so soso... here's an idea... hold on cause i'm writing it all down!
So here's an idea ... one that would make Twi's dad kinda have a real jerk/ass moment one that could (or maybe not) be the slap in the face moment that is the wake up call for him... so he goes out and starts playing some game (either cards or dice... or something like that) that involves gambling. Now maybe it's just small bits and little trinkets, maybe some small dares and whatnot, you know all fun and games with friends. Nothing that's going to bankrupt anyone... now as the night goes on they get more drunk see, and with Twi's dad drunk he gets an idea that seems like a great idea but really... well he decides that he's going to put "A date with Twilight" in the pot. In his drunken haze it could seem like he's got something more to bargain with AND it's helping his wife get Twi a date. It's a win win in his drunken haze. Of course I'm not sure Twi will see it that way, or her mother, and maybe her father won't see it that way once he's sober... it depends on how it's written... and if you write it at all
And even if you don't write it I had fun just thinking it up! Keep up the good work though alright!!
I wonder how Twi´s mom would react if a mare would show interest in her daugther. XD
I'm surprise that her mother doesn't have a list of single stallions yet
1876092 I, too, made this connection. How i laughed!
They do have boats and airships. Yeah Night light buys a sports blimp!
Okay, now I really need to know just what Twilight did with Big Mac in order to get Smartypants back.
I agree with the various suggestions already made... Extreme sports are good for a midlife crisis. Career changes are a staple, where someone with a comfortable, boring job decides to pursue their unrealistic teenage career dreams, like starting a band or being a professional ball player or gambler or whatever. They don't need to flirt with younger ponies, but hanging out with college kids as if they were peers is a way to go. I could definitely see his new buddies including the pumped up Roid Rage pony, or the jocks that always called Dash "Crash", along with whatever female ponies might hang out around them and play into his ego. Or there's fighting authority figures just to be rebellious and edgy. Down with the Mare! (considering how respectful Twilight is of authority, that would definitely be a nightmare for her.) Twice the fun if the protest methods are way out of date to the point where others don't even get what they're doing.
When will people/ponies/dragons/griffons realize that the term "hip" itself is out pf date
Hold on, by wearing that outfit in front of Canterlot ponies, Nightlight could completely tarnish Rarity's reputation forever…
FOR THE GOOD OF ALL THAT IS FAUST, BURN THE ATROCITY!!!
When it comes to Nightlight, you could show him in a depressed state from time to time when he realizes that he's no longer in his prime.
I understand it's for the sake of the story, but why would you do that to Rarity? No one deserves such torture!
YAY, UPDATE!
pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw5364-542436_324442467639115_687784111_n.jpg
There goes the possibility of TwiMac.
*Grins and laughs* Don't worry mate, this chapter felt just the right length. I definitely want to have a chapter or at least a few paragraphs of Rarity freaking out at Twilight about the horror of that coat and perhaps even her own imagination making him into this evil villain doing it for her. Shall ponder and pm ideas.
He could engage in some wild and reckless magic. If I had telekinesis and limited magic spell knowledge when I was a teenager I would have done stupid crap with it for fun. Play pranks, see how far I can toss things and how big things I can lift, etc. And he's the father of two pretty magical unicorns, so as an adult he might hurt someone badly if he is careless.
Just have him compete in sports against younger stallions and fillies
A Black Books reference, actually Twilight does remind me of Bernard at times, good chapter.
TwiDoctor is great. BTW, his new official name is Dr. Hooves.
Does this confirm DerpyxDoctor?
fc03.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2011/318/a/2/doctor_whooves_s01e01___twilight_sparkle___wallpaper_by_diegotan-d4g5t85.png
Private Balloons and Airships exist in Equestria. A blinged out one-pony racing model could be a supercar equivalent. Also seconding the extreme sports and pranks suggestions.
So, Night Light can't tell the difference between tears of joy and despair. So now I know where Twilight picked up her anti-social behavior.
I feel really bad for Rarity she was crying when he left
You would make Twilight's dad try to be one of the CMC or doing some dangerous stuff at Everfree forest, like start a figth with Steven Magnet, or confront a manticore
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MOO MANEY!
Englishwitch, I know you don't said you didn't like the idea of Night Light hitting on younger mares, but c'mon, it would be hysterical. Oh my god, it would be so funny if he got drunk and started hitting on Fluttershy. Oh my gah. That would be so hilarious.
What I find funny is a read those last two chapters while a little drunk.
In the spirit of mid-life crises, I can see something like this:
-THE NEXT MORNING-
Twilight -something something something-
AJ leads her to Sweet Apple Acres.
"I ain't real sure, Twi," AJ said in a passive-agressive manner, "He said somethin' 'bout ridin' his new hog a while back. Drunk out of his mind, too." AJ paused for a moment, thinking, then spoke up, "Get him off the farm. Ah'll send him a bill for the damages."
"What damages?" Twilight asks, fear slowly building inside of her.
AJ points to the mass of rubble behind her, precisely where her tool shed was. "These damages."
Keep up the great work! Lovin' it!
: OK dad, while you are under my roof NO MORE DRINKING!
Why, Night Light, WHY?! That coat is THE. WORST. POSSIBLE! THING!!!
I can see this stallion taking up extreme sports in the near future...
(hangliding and ziplining are cannon. Thanks to that dodgy balloon skydiving is kinda cannon)
Well...everyone who's ever created anything always has an "Old Shame" so to speak.
On the next episode of Just One Week Twilight's dad meets the local DJ Vinyl Scratch and decides to try his hoof at this "dubstep" thing. It goes about as well as expected.
Night Light... why? Just... why?
For midlife crisis I would suggest:
-Picking fights / Trying to be hero
-Racing in dangerous conditions/clearly better opponents- maybe wing spell + Rainbow Dash or Ballon Races
-Venturing in dangerous areas (Everfree)
-Something with magic maybe? Magic "Strongman" contests etc
I'd actually like to see more of Twilight's mum, it seems that her dad is getting the most attention.
when it first described the coat i was like "oh no, twi's dad is a pimp, and with velvet trying to set her daughter up, and spike being there, that makes 3 pimps in one room, and since pimps are like roosters... this will not end well
Oh God my brain. The horrible things that could imply. Stop doing that!
1876265 Plz make it happen.
Ahhhh, I finally got around to reading this. And I can't stop laughing my ass off, Night Light is a crack up! Hhaha, loving where this is going. Thumbs up!
He could try to make something athletic, hoofwrestling, racing, doing other crazy things...
Maybe he'll be starting something to get his fellow refugees minds of their long wait that he's heard from in his daughter's letters.... maybe "Running of the Leaves" -the 3-month-ahead pre-race practice marathon run... or jumping in on the "Second annual IRON PONY competition!"...
I got a suggestion for Night Light's Mid-life Crisis.
How about him trying to relive his "glory days" of high school, with him playing football.
Only to end up in the hospital with a busted spine.
Just watch. If Twilight ever does get a boyfriend, or even a crush on somepony, Velvet won't think he's "good enough for her daughter".
I keep thinking of one scenario that could sober Both parents up.
Night Light gets Twilight drunk again. Velvet (not knowing about her drunkenness) sets Twilight up with an out of town stallion from the inn who has less than sterling morals. He tries to be fresh with twilight who is in no condition to fight him off. Night Light, who is out on the town drinking (but is not yet drunk himself) stumbles across the scene and transforms into OVER PROTECTIVE FATHER mode and bucks/magics the blaggard into a dumpster.
Afterwards, Night Light realizes the dangers of drinking and what he did to his daughter ans swears off drink for good and Velvet realizes her character judgment was blinded by her desire for grand children and learns to butt out of her daughter's love life.
1878731 XD Nice.
1876265Terribly. All that needs be said.
if at the end Twilight hasent done something about her dads behavior ill be disapointed.
you could try to have him get a 'hip' haircut similar to how he tried to get 'hip' clothes