• Published 8th Dec 2012
  • 12,950 Views, 500 Comments

Just One Week - englishwitch



Twilight's parents come to stay.

  • ...
15
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 12,950

Chapter 4

Just one week.
Fanfic by englishwitch
Edited by DerpyDash2131
Disclaimer: The following is an entirely fan-created parody. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, its characters and all other affiliated merchandise are the intellectual property of Lauren Faust and Hasbro. Please support the official MLP: FiM show.
I make no profit, or money at all, for the production and distribution of this fanfiction.

Chapter 4

Direct sunlight hurt too much. Luckily, Twilight found a pair of sunglasses in the library Lost and Found box. Large purple lenses with black frames that almost hid her entire face. They seemed familiar, but Twilight couldn’t place them. All the same, they were excellent for cutting out the glare of the sun. Twilight had never thought of the sun as something evil before but, if she didn’t know any better, she would have thought Celestia was using it to punish her for getting so drunk.

“Are you sure I can’t stay and help, just a little bit?” Twilight looked behind her at her mother. Twilight Velvet shook her head.

“You enjoy yourself dear. I have your father to help me clean. Whether he likes it or not!” She called over her own shoulder at the blue stallion.

“If the kid wants to stay and help, she can take my place.” Night Light suggested hopefully.
Twilight Velvet didn’t speak, slamming and locking the door was answer enough.

Twilight Sparkle sighed and headed into Ponyville. Despite everything, a few hours away from the library would be welcome. It would give her a better chance to recover after last night. Most of which she still couldn’t recall. Perhaps a memory spell would help? Twilight shook her head. Just levitating a satchel had made her feel like she’d been kicked in the head. If she tried anything as intensive as a memory spell on herself, she’d probably be lucky to come out of it still possessing a head.

Twilight stopped and looked down the street. Carrot Top’s vegetable cart was closed. That would make Applejack happy at least, she considered Carrot Top her main rival at the market.

Speaking of Applejack, she was standing by her stall as usual, selling her apples and apple treats. ‘Perhaps some more applejuice and a slice of apple pie would help.’ Twilight thought to herself.

Applejack’s smile faded as she saw Twilight approach. Twilight felt the urge to turn and walk in the other direction. Faced with that frown, that feeling was understandable. The feeling she couldn’t explain was the sensation of shame and the overwhelming urge to apologise.

“Well, look who it is.” Applejack frowned at her.

“Umm....Hi Applejack.” Twilight shuffled nervously.

“I hope you’re proud of yurself.” Applejack scolded. “Applebloom didn’t get a wink of sleep, and Granny Smith, I don’t think she’ll ever be able to go into our fruit cellar alone ever again.”

Twilight’s eyes widened. Her face paled as the blood drained away. What in Celestia’s name had she done?

Applejack shook her head and sighed heavily. “Ah don’t blame you Twi. Maybe you jus’ got caught up in the moment or sumthin, I don’t know. But Ah thought you of all ponies would have more sense.” She tried to put on a friendly smile, but it was quite weak. “Jus' tell your dad he owes us about 150 bits. I gotta say, it didn’t leave the best impression with our guests.”

“Sorry.” Twilight blurted out automatically.

“Just make sure it don’t happen again. Yur scary when you flirt drunk.” Applejack shuffled uncomfortably. Twilight wished a hole would open in the earth and swallow her whole.

“Big Macintosh?” She asked, with just a faint glimmer of hope.

“Nnnope.” Applejack said flatly.

“Sorry.” Twilight looked down at the ground, no longer to meet Applejack’s gaze.

“Why do you think Applebloom couldn’t sleep?”

“WHAT!” Twilight leapt in the air, almost two feet.

Applejack smirked then laughed so hard she almost fell to the ground. “Yer face! Dang, you really can’t remember anythin’? I knew you was out of it. Di’nt take no genius to see that. ‘Specially when you were flirtin' wi' me. But total black out? Dang it, girl, how much did you drink?”

“I don’t know.” Twilight hung her head in shame. “I don’t remember anything about being at your farm. AJ, what did I do?”

Applejack laughed all the harder. “Oh heck no, I’m hangin’ onto this. I’m gonna tell it when I need a real embarrasin' story for everypony.”

“AJayyyyyyyyy!” Twilight pleaded but Applejack just shook her head.

“Heck no, sugarcube.” She laughed, shaking her head. “I ain’t one for keepin’ secrets, but this is just too juicy to let go easy. Consider it payback.” She took an apple in her hoof and held it out. “Here, on the house s’long as you remind your pa ‘bout that bill.’

Twilight could see she wasn’t going to get anywhere with Applejack. Sure, she was honest and dependable, joyful and helpful, but the mare could be as stubborn as a mule and as tough as a boulder when she wanted to be. Twilight could interrogate AJ all day and get nowhere. She sighed and took the peace offering of the apple in her magic. It made her head hurt and she almost dropped the fruit. She was so used to taking things in her magic,ans kept forgetting the pain it would cause due to the the hangover. “I really flirted with you?” She felt a blush burning into her cheeks like a flaming brand.

Applejack just nodded. “Not too clearly ah might add. Lots of slurrin’ and mumblin’ but I caught stuff ‘bout rolls in the hay and gettin’ dirty on a farm.”

Twilight put a hoof over her spectacled eyes. “Stop. Please.” She groaned. She was no longer sure she wanted to know what she’d done. Ever.

“Dunno why you was lookin' at me tho.” Applejack grinned and tried to stop herself laughing more. It was cruel to watch Twilight squirm like this, deeply enjoyable, but cruel. Still, it was also cruel to be woken in the early hours by a herd of drunken ponies wandering the farm. “Y’all seemed to be getting close to that Lucky Clover.”

Twilight’s memory sparked up the image of a light grey earth pony stallion with a dark grey mane and a cutie mark of three four-leaf clovers. He had been in the library last night, she remembered it was his suggestion to get lo. What she couldn’t remember was anything involving him or Sweet Apple Acres.

“Anything else you care to share before I die of embarrassment?” She groaned. AJ just shook her head.

“Nnnope.” She turned away to start serving a customer. Twilight gave up, knowing Applejack wouldn’t do anything more than her light-hearted teasing if she continued to be pressed. She decided to cut her losses and leave the earth pony be.

...***...

FLASHBACK

Twilight chomped down the fritter like she’d never eaten anything before. Brown sugar and bits of apple sauce covered her mouth and chin.

“Spike! Take a letter!”

“Spike’s not here.” Night Light said in her ear. Several fritters and a selection of cupcakes were hovering round his head, caught in the blue aura of his magic.

“Whaa?” Twilight staggered, looking around as she spun slowly. She saw no sign of her small dragon assistant. “But I gotta let the princess know fritters are the best thing ever!” She licked her lips, taking in some of the sugar and a couple of bits of apple that were stuck there. She turned in the direction her drunken mind thought her library was in. “I gotta go get Spike.”

“Naw. C’mon, kiddo.” Her father grabbed her in his magic, dropping the fritters and cupcakes as he shifted what little concentration remained to him. “Letters can wait. Let’s get another couple of drinks.” He levitated his daughter in the air and turned her so she was facing the same direction as him. Whether by instinct, an actual sense of direction, or blind luck, the four ponies, Twilight, Night Light, Lucky Clover and Carrot Top, were heading for Ponyville’s one and only inn.

...***...

Twilight decided to see how Pinkie was doing. The poor pink pony had, possibly, taken more alcohol than Twilight. She had to be suffering worse. Surely not even Pinkie could be usual bouncy self with a hangover.

Sugarcube corner, the bright bakery owned by the Cake’s, was the friendliest place in Ponyville. Almost every party Pinkie held was centered there. Ponyville’s unofficial social center.

The store was as busy as ever. Four ponies were sitting on tables out front, eating their cakes and sipping at drinks. A few more were inside, some browsing for one particular sweet treat while the grey mail mare, Derpy, picked up her usual order of one extra large muffin. It was Pinkie’s creation, but Derpy was the only one who ever thought it was a good idea to order a muffin the size of a football.

Mrs Cake looked tired and disheveled but still managed to have a smile on her face.

“Hello Mrs. Cake,” Twilight’s greeting faltered and stopped completely as Cup Cake looked at her and the smile vanished.

“Miss Sparkle.” She muttered curtly. Many red flags went up inside Twilight’s mind. The way the smile had vanished on sight, the annoyed tone in her voice, the tired appearance, and the fact she’d called her ‘Miss Sparkle.’ In all the time she’d been coming to the bakery Mrs. Cake had always called her Twilight, or Miss Twilight. Cup Cake never believed in surnames, she said it spoiled the rapport with customers.

Twilight felt that urge to apologize rising again. “What did we do?” She asked shamefully.
Cup Cake looked behind her into the kitchen. Twilight noticed the space was much darker than usual. Not surprising, considering the large square of plywood that had been nailed over the space where the window used to be.

Twilight’s eyes widened. “We broke your window.”

“Pinkie broke the window.” Mrs. Cake responded. “When she jumped through it to let everypony in for free cupcakes and fritters.”

Twilight shrank back slightly. She had the memory of Pinkie opening the door for their drunken group, but no recollection of Pinkie deciding to enter through the kitchen window by literally going through the kitchen window. “But Pinkie has a key?”

“She forgot.” Mrs. Cake huffed. “She couldn’t see any other way in. Thanks to you and your party friends, Pound and Pumpkin have been up all night, and so have we. Settling the babies, sweeping up the glass, putting the plywood in place, replacing the stock you decided to consume,”

“Sorry.” Twilight shrank back further. “Umm...send me the bill.”

“We already planned to, dear.” Cup Cake answered. A faint smile hung around the corners of her mouth. As infuriating as the break in had been it was nice that Twilight had volunteered to pay for the damage without being prompted. “Some of it. We’re dividing the bills between all of you. Pinkie and your father included.”

“Sorry that’s how you had to meet him.” Twilight said. “He’s usually a nice pony.”

“I think I’ll take your word for it.” Cup Cake said dismissively. “Now, is there something else I can do for you?”

Twilight bit her lip for a second to stop herself placing a huge order out of guilt. “I...was just looking for Pinkie.”

The cyan pony nodded. “She’s still sleeping upstairs. I heard her snores.” She stopped herself and thought about it. “I never heard Pinkie snore like that though.”

They both heard hoofsteps above as a pony was stomping heavily down the stairs. The two mares looked, expecting to see a bouncy pink pony with a hangover emerge. Both their jaws dropped simultaneously as a plum coloured earth pony with a mulberry mane came down into the store. The only thing that had been right in their assumptions was that the pony had a monster hangover.

“Berry?” Twilight approached the drowsy mare. “Berry Punch?”

“Hello, Twilight?” She squinted and leaned closer, even though they were only a couple of feet apart. “How’d I get here?”

“You don’t remember?”

Berry shook her head, then winced as she felt her brain rattle around in her skull. “I remember the party. I remember the punch.” A weak smile rose on her tired face. “Oh,” she added in a low voice. “I remember...nuzzling you...sorry.”

Twilight blushed. “It’s okay.” She looked up the stairs and back to Berry. “Where’d you wake up?”

Berry rubbed her face with her foreleg, recalling a memory she had just started to suppress. “There were balloons, and pink, lots of pink, and all the furniture looked like candy.”

“Pinkie’s room.” Twilight recognised the description. “Was Pinkie there?”

Berry shook her head. “No. I didn’t see her. Even among all that pink, she’d be hard to miss.”

...***...

FLASHBACK

The door of Sugarcube Corner opened. Pinkie barely had time to jump out of the way before the herd of drunken ponies charged into the store.

“SHHHHHHHHH!” Pinkie practically shouted the noise. She giggled and swayed on the spot. “The Cakes are sleeping.” Despite using a husky voice, which was intended to be a whisper, Pinkie was speaking at a normal volume.

Twilight staggered across the room, behind the counter and into the kitchen where trays of baked treats were piled up. Her horn glowed and half a dozen of the various treats rose off the trays and hovered, slowly orbited around her.

“CUPCAKES!” Pinkie squealed with delight. She appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, behind Twilight, a plate was balanced on her head, holding a pile of cupcakes almost as tall as she was. Twilight flinched, her magic failed and the treats fell to the floor.

Above them came the noise of babies crying. Pinkie paused, her eyes growing wide in panic. They had woken Pound and Pumpkin. “We’re gonna be in trouble!” She dropped the plate of cakes, right on top of Twilight, and raced for the door. “Every pony for herself!”

She only got halfway before she tripped over her own hooves and crashed to the floor.
Light spilled down the stairs as the Cake’s turned on lights. “Pinkie Pie, what the hay are you doing down there?” The voice of Mrs. Cake was at that level of volume, anger and confusion that a pony could only achieve when they had been ripped out of their sleep.

Carrot Cake appeared. His angry and drowsy expression vanished, replaced with shock as he saw the gang of ponies staggering around his store, helping themselves to his stock. Berry Punch took a bite out of the expensive black forest gateau then wandered away. A whole cake, ruined and wasted by one bite.

“Pinkie!” He snapped at the frizzy haired pony. She was struggling to her hooves. When he snapped at her she squeaked in fright and raced out of the still open door.

“Please don’t be maaaaaaaaaaaddd!” Her voice faded away on the night as she raced further and further away.

“Get outta my store!” Carrot Cake yelled angrily. With Pinkie gone, he wasn’t looking for explanations anymore, he was just furious at the trespassers. “GET OUT!!!”

The ponies jumped and ran, taking whatever they had with them. Carrot jumped and reared up on his hooves, yelling at each of them as he chased them out of the door. He didn’t see Berry Punch sigh and shake her head. He didn’t hear her mutter how noisy things were getting and he never noticed her climb up the stairs, heading for a bed that she was too drunk to realise wasn’t her own.

...***...

Twilight left Sugarcube Corner feeling worse than when she’d left the library. The day was barely half over and she was ready to give up. Wherever she went she just ran into more reminders of her drunken exploits. If she never saw alcohol again, it would be too soon.

“I’m going back to bed.” She sighed to herself. She turned and went back to the library. Maybe her mother would object, try and get her back outside, but she wouldn’t give in. She’d had enough embarrassment for one day. She would put this day down as a lost cause and try again tomorrow.

...***...

FLASHBACK

Twilight, Lucky Clover and Night Light jumped around on the heavy wooden table of the Ponyville Inn. Underneath them, Carrot Top had passed out, her back hooves sticking out from under the table was the only indication she was there.

The three ponies were balancing on their rear hooves, their front ones linked together in a chorus line. They each kicked up a leg in time with...something. It certainly wasn’t the song and it certainly wasn’t with each other.

“Come on everypony smile, smile, smile
Fill my heart up with sunshine, sunshine!
All I really need's a smile, smile, smile
From these happy friends of miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-”

Twilight threw her head back, screeching out the last word. She leaned back too far and fell off the table, crashing to the floor in a rain of alcohol and broken mugs.

Lucky Clover and Night Light stopped their singing, then struggled for a second to detach themselves from each other. The two stallions looked down at Twilight as she sat up and looked at them. “You okay there kiddo?”

Twilight grinned and clapped her hooves together. “More cider!” She cried. “We need more hard cider!”

“NO!” The large earth pony, Crème Brulee, slammed his hooves down on the bar. He had a light brown coat, dark brown mane and tail and a cutie mark of three horseshoes. The thing that really grabbed the attention of the drunken trio was his size. He was almost as big as Big Mac. “We’re closed.” He yelled at them. “I told ya already. I let ya finish ya drinks but your Celestia-damn awful singin' is disturbin' my customers. There are ponies tryin' to sleep upstairs!”

“Hey, c’mon buddy.” Night light slurred his words and almost stumbled as he climbed off the table. “We’re just some ponies trying to have a good time.” He made it to the bar and propped himself up. “Okay. We were noisy. I’ll admit that.” He smiled. In his drunken mind he was holding a perfectly rational conversation which would allow the two of them to talk things over rationally and reach a fair compromise.

In reality he was swaying left and right, a little drool was running down the side of his mouth and almost all his words were slurred. “And I’m shorrrrry for that. Now, now, now,nownnnn-” He chuckled and shook his head. “Okay. If we promise to be real quiet, can we get one more round for the road?”

Behind him Lucky Clover had helped the grinning Twilight to her hooves. The two drunken ponies were leaning against each other, each propping up the other one to stop them falling.

Twilight watched as the big earth pony walked around the bar, grabbed Night Light and slung the blue pony across his back like he was an empty saddle bag.

“Daddy, where you going?” She giggled as he was carried past her and out the door.

“I dunno!” Night Light laughed back. He raised a hoof and tapped Crème Brulee on the flank. “Hey buddy, where’s this train going?”

Crème Brulee opened the door and took two steps outside. “End of the line.” He pushed Night Light off his back and let the blue stallion land hard on the ground. Twilight and Lucky Clover staggered their own way out into the night air without need of prompting.

Night Light, still chuckling, climbed to his hooves. “Party pooper.” He laughed. “C’mon, kiddo, there must be somewhere else around here we can get another drink. Just one more, then we’ll head back.”

Twilight tried to think. Really tried. But her mind was so muddled she wouldn’t have been able to recognise her own library if she was looking right at it, let alone think of some place that would answer her dad’s question.

Lucky Clover however, was struck by that spark of genius that only strikes drunk ponies. The sort of thought that always seemed like a good idea at the time. “Shweeet Apppplee Acres.” He slurred. “They got cider.” He rose a hoof and pointed in the direction of the Apple farm. “Thatta way!” He tilted and fell against Twilight, who almost stumbled herself as she supported his weight.

“To the cider!” Night Light cried triumphantly.

...***...

Twilight shed the sunglasses as she entered the library. The shaded interior was much more welcome after the too-bright daylight outside. The library was much cleaner, even though she’d only been gone no longer than half an hour. The remains of the streamers and balloons had all been packed away in trash bags, and, while the books hadn’t been returned to the shelves, they had been neatly stacked into tall piles. Ever a testament to her mothers skills, they had all been arranged by genre and in alphabetical order by author.

From the kitchen came the sound of laughter. She recognised her mothers warm chortle then, Rainbow Dash’s loud guffaw. Curiosity aroused and Twilight descended the stairs into the small kitchen.

Dash was looking much better after her half hour nap, her eyes were less dark and even her coat seemed a shade brighter. She was sitting at the small dining table with a large mug of coffee in her hoof. Twilight Velvet sat opposite and Spike was to the side, both with cups of tea. In the center of the table was a large book. Even from the doorway Twilight recognised it. She approached slowly, hoping, praying, that the picture wasn’t too embarrassing.

The page of the photo album that had Dash red in the face with laughter held a large picture of Twilight Sparkle as a foal. Only a few months old, she was lying on her back in a crib, looking up at the camera with her large, amethyst eyes. All four of her legs were wrapped around a stuffed toy that resembled a donkey in polka-dot shorts, a brand new Smarty-Pants doll. One leg of the stuffed toy was in the baby Twilight’s mouth, soaked with her drool as she sucked on it.

“Moooooom!” Twilight threw a hoof over her eyes and wished she could teleport all the way to the other side of Equestria.

“Hey Twilight.” Dash greeted her with a smile and a laugh. “Your mom was just sharing a few precious memories.” She glanced down at the picture again and back to Twilight, who looked back in despair. “You were one cute foal.”

Twilight hung her head and wished, again, that the ground would open and swallow her whole.

Author's Note:

Four chapters in and the first day isn't even over yet. I might have to slow things down or I'll run out of things to happen to Twilight over the week. ;)