Chapter 9
Just one week.
Fanfic by englishwitch
Disclaimer: The following is an entirely fan-created parody. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, it’s characters and all other affiliated merchandise are the intellectual property of Lauren Faust and Hasbro. Please support the official MLP: FiM show.
I make no profit, or money at all, for the production and distribution of this fanfiction.
Chapter 9
The long steam train pulled up to the station with a slow hiss. “Ponyville.” The guards voice called. “This stop is Ponyville. This train is going to Canterlot. All aboard for Canterlot.”
The train was larger than usual, with twice as many carriages for all the extra passengers heading back to Canterlot. Usually a team of six ponies pulled the train along the flat ground and the steam engine itself was used to help pull the heavy train and carriages up hills. Today the boiler of the engine was billowing smoke, burning at full intensity like never before, to pull the extra weight.
Twilight Sparkle gave both her parents a hug. “All the annoyances aside, it’s been really great having you here.”
“HEY!”
Twilight and her family turned to the source of the yell. Rainbow Dash was hovering over a Pegasus family with two foals. The little filly, resting on her fathers back, was holding tightly onto a Wonderbolt’s plush, Soarin’ by the look of the mane. Dash pulled the plush out of the filly’s grasp.
“Nice try small fry. You think I wouldn’t notice my favourite has gone?”
The little filly’s huge eyes started to tear up, her lip trembled. Her hooves were held out toward the stuffed toy with wanting. Rainbow looked at the filly about to cry, looked at the Soarin toy and sighed. “Fine.” She tossed the toy to the foal who gripped it tightly. “But you better take good care of it.”
The filly, in defiance of Dash’s words, put Soarin’s hoof in her mouth and was suckling on it.
Shaking her head Dash turned away, catching Twilight’s eye. She scratched the back of her head and smiled nervously. “What can I say? They kinda grow on ya.” She shot away before anypony could laugh at her.
Twilight turned back to her parents. “I promise to write more. And I’ll try and visit more often.”
“Thank you dear.” Velvet nuzzled Twilight’s cheek affectionately. Behind Twilight’s back a gem hovered in to Spike’s claws. He gobbled it down greedily. Twilight Sparkle pretended not to notice what her mother had done. “It’ll be good to see you more often.”
Night Light stepped up, a bag of bits hovered in his magic, holding it out to Twilight “These are a for the bills I guess I racked up while I was being foolish.” He blushed slightly as Twilight took the bag and placed it into her saddle bags. “If it’s not enough just let me know, I’ll send more.”
“Don’t worry, I will.” Twilight teased with a kind hearted smile. Night Light chuckled.
The guard blew his whistle. “ALL ABOARD!”
“Darn it.” Velvet sighed. “Maybe we should have stayed another night.” She gave Twilight and Spike one last hug each, then gave them a peck on the cheek. “We hope to see you both soon.” She hurried into the carriage.
“This weekend.” Twilight nodded. “We’ll try and visit this weekend.”
Night Light gave Twilight a hug and Spike a hoof bump. “I’ll see you soon darling.” He stepped onto the carriage, closing the door behind him. He stuck his head out of the window. “Maybe we go go for a drink to get a real chance to catch up. Only tea this time, I swear.”
Twilight managed a grin. “We’ll see dad.”
The train whistled loudly. The pony team at the front of the engine started to pull. The slow but strong turn of the wheels aided them and the long line of carriages started to move off. Twilight Velvet and Night Light stuck their heads out of the window and waves their hooves to their daugh ter. Twilight sparkle waved back. Staying on the platform and watching the long snake of a train run off until it finally turned a corner and vanished.
With a sigh Twilight smiled. “Well, come on Spike, let’s go shopping for a new bed.”
As she walked Twilight levitated a quill and scroll out of her saddle bag, writing as she walked.
Dear Princess Celestia,
The old axiom still rings true; You can choose your friends but you can’t choose your family.
Family can be annoying. Sometimes they can make you so mad you even lose your temper with them. But really, most of the time, the things they do are done with the best intentions at heart. At the end of the day your family just want the best for you and just want you to be happy. Even if they do make a lot of mistakes doing it.
You forgive them their mistakes and they forgive you yours, because that’s what family does. You can be angry, you can hate them at times, you might not even like them sometimes, but you’ll always love them.
Family is
“Excuse me.”
Twilight glanced up from her letter and jumped back in surprise. A male griffon stood before her, tall and muscular, with soft grey feathers and dark brown fur. Across his chest he wore a dark blue soldiers coat, marked with the strips of a sergeant rank.
Ignoring Twilight’s surprise the Griffon reached behind his head and pulled a pony into sight. Held by the scruff of the neck was Pinkie. She grinned her usual happy self. She too was wearing a dark blue soldiers coat, marked with the bars of a captain, bearing several medals. She wore a curly moustache on her face, a pair of large dark glasses and a bicorne hat perched precariously on her fluffy mane.
“Is this yours?” The griffin asked, sounding both bored and aggravated; as though he’d asked the question far too many times already.
Blinking and shaking her head, Twilight snapped back to reality. “Pinkie? Where have you been?”
“Hi Twilight.” Pinkie laughed. The griffon, relieved that he’d finally found the right town, let her go, dropping her to the ground. She just bounced around as usual.
The sergeant brushed off his coat and pulled a small roll of paper out of the pocket. “Can you just hold still for a moment?” He sighed, as though he already knew the answer. Pinkie, to everypony’s surprise, did stop. In mid air. She smiled at the griffon as she slowly floated to the ground. The griffon stared, beak agape. “Right....anyway.” He cleared his throat. “By order of his imperial majesty, emperor Greyclaw the IV, the pony Pinkie Pie is hereby exiled from the city of Clawdaw and all its surrounding territories within the griffin empire, under penalty of death.”
“The griffin capital?” Twilight looked to the solider, to Pinkie and back again.
“Okie Dokie Lokie” Pinkie grinned.
The sergeant rolled up the scroll and returned it to his pocket. “Officially we can never lay eyes on each other again. But, just between you and me,” he looked around conspiratorially, then threw a sharp salute to Pinkie. “It’s been an honour serving with you captain.”
Pinkie returned the salute, with her same grin.
The griffon spread his wings and, with a leap, took to the sky and sped off toward the horizon. Twilight stared at his silhouette, eyes wide and her mouth so wide it almost hit the floor. Then she rounded on her friend. “Pinkie, nopony has seen you for days. Where’ve you been?” She glanced at the rapidly shrinking speck of griffon on the horizon then back to Pinkie, taking in her army coat and the row of medals she was wearing. “What the hay have you been doing?”
Pinkie looked thoughtful for a second, then her face cracked into a smile again. “I’m not entirely sure but wherever it was,” She looked off into the distance, “pause for dramatic affect. They’re free now.” Then she giggled and patted Twilight on the head. “Well see ya later Twilight.”
With that she spun around on the spot and hopped off down the street, humming to herself, her grin ever present. As though nothing usual had happened.
Twilight had to sit down. She felt a headache coming. “That....that is Pinkie Pie. That is the dictionary definition of Pinkie Pie.” She rubbed at her eyes with her hoof and tried to stop her brain even attempting to work out the situation.
A claw touched her shoulder, Spike looked at her. “You okay Twilight.”
Twilight managed a smile and nodded. “Yes.” She sighed lightly. “It’s just Pinkie being Pinkie. Come on Spike, let’s go buy that new bed.”
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I feel a Pinkie-specific side story coming on....
What? How did she get to the griffin empire? There is a ocean in-between it and equestria!
OH PINKIE! *Laugh track*
First! and Pinkie as a Griffon captain just amazing
That feel when you just finish reading chapter 8 and notice it has updated twice while your reading it
Yeah that about sums it up. Cool story, bro.
what? What?! WHAT!? WHAT DID YOU DO PINKIE!? i cant even...... there better be an explanation or a story for this......
Wait! You can just drop Pinkie in like that and not write a full story of her adventures in the Griffon Kingdom, you big tease!
And the next day, Princess Celestia received word that the Griffin homeland is in the throes of a revolution.
YOU GOTTA FIGHT! *DUN DUN!*
FOR YOUR RIGHT! *DUN DUN*
TO PPPAAARRRRRTTAAAYYYY!!!
Please write the full story of Pinkie Pie's adventures in the griffin army! PLEEAAAASSSSEEE!!!
Not to be a Negative Nancy but you obviously don't know a lot about steam locomotives. If a locomotive is blowing black smoke it doesn't mean that it is heavily loaded, it means that the fire is not hot enough and only partly burning the fuel. In real life any engineer allowing his engine to "burn black" would be fired. I know that it makes for a cool visual, but its ... just ... wrong.
What.... how... why.... WHAT THE FUCK DID PINKIE DO??!?!!?!?!?
On the other hoof, good to see that there's no resentment between Twilight and her parents
And this is why Pinkie should NEVER touch booze.
So... Pinkie got super drunk, somehow wandered into the Griffin kingdom, got into the military, advanced to the rank of captain, and freed a nation (or race?)... All in less than a week.
Pinkie did... what?
Good end dear sir
This has been a really amusing story, looking forward to reading more from you.
Small typos: daugh ter. Twilight sparkle waved back should be daughter and Sparkle
1976493 ACTUALLY, ACCORDING TO THE COMPLETE MAP OF THE PLANET IN SPHERICAL FORM THE GRIFFON KINGDOM AND EQUESTRIA ARE ACTUALLY RIGHT NEXT YO EACH OTHER BUT BLOCKED BY A MOUNTAIN RANGE. JUST SO YOU KNOW.
What dabuck did pinkie do? Destabilize the political balance of an entire nation, sparking a revolt against the government, enlisted in the military, and got promoted all the way to captain? in 96 hours? i reaffirm that if you get pinkie drunk again, she will end up causing the destruction of the ENTIRE Multi-verse, causing every single universe in existence to cease to exist. Yes, that is a bad thing. A VERY bad thing.
Side story of Pinkie-GO!...but yeah you made me curious on what Pinkie did
Write a side story or I will find you and throw plush ponies at you until you die....
Pinkie Pie... Saviour of the griffins... I died
Nevertheless it was a very nice story up to the epilogue! 
The ending with Pinkie Pie was absolutely hilarious
Ok, that killed me. Seriously, Pinkie Pie is hilarious XD
wait pinkie and the military and
I am soo confused
Am I the only one to think that Pinkie Pie of the Griffin Foreign Legion probably saved the world a few times in this past week? Something tells me that The Tactics of Captain Pinkie Pie will one day be required learning at the Guard Officers' Academy.
...Celestiadamnit, you were building up the revelation with Pinkie the entire story, weren't you? Brilliant!
i Bet Pinkie and Gilda had another showdown
Huh... is that my brain thats dribbling out my ear? Maybe I should stop trying to understand Pinkie Pie. Lalalalala.
I would love a story detailing what the hell Pinkie went through.
8448378
I would write one if I could get any ideas that would do justice to the wildly epic randomness of a drunk Pinkie Pie.
I'll not say "never" just "unlikely"