The Buzzing Pest

by SmegAndTheHeads

The Buzzing Pest

The Buzzing Pest

Note: A very short story based around Twilight and Spike. Comedy ensues.

A snowy day had brewed in Ponyville, leaving the townsfolk inside their warm, cosy houses. For the occupants of the Ponyville Library, this was no exception.

Twilight sat besides the fireplace, reading a romance novel based around Pirates and Damsels in Distress, your typical romance novel, if you will. Twilight laid on her side, reading the sultry novel and fantasizing about the Heroic Love Interest of the book, and her heart skipped a few beats as he pictured the brave pony in her head.

She turned to her back, placing her hooves to her heart, “Oh, Swift. You certainly know how to please a mare.”

Spike walked down the stairs and narrowed his eyes in annoyance as Twilight rolled on the rug, the romance book hovering above her.

“Are you still reading that gunk, Twilight?” He replied with a serious tone.

Twilight sat up and faced the dragon, “Yes, I am still reading this ‘gunk’, Spike. It’s a wonderful book about a dashing colt who goes and fights evil pirates and saving the damsels who wait for him.”

“So, it’s your cliché ‘Damsel in Distress’ story then?”

“Spike, please. Let me read my story, and you go do whatever you were going to do.”

Spike shook his head in frustration, and walked into the kitchen, opening the fridge. He took out a carton of milk and drank straight from it, taking in a few gulps before putting it back and shutting the door. He walked to the counter and lifted the lid of the bread bin, pulling out a loaf.

He proceeded to fetch a jar of jam from the cupboard and started to spread the contents onto two slices of bread. “I’m gonna make myself a sandwich; do you want anything, Twi?”

She laid back down, book in hoof. “Uh, no thanks Spike. I’m alright.”

Spike nodded and closed the sandwich, cutting the bread corner to corner, cutting it into two triangular sandwiches. He took a bite from one of them and took the other, taking a seat at the kitchen table.

Twilight got lost in her book again, thinking about replacing herself with the damsel. She got lost in her train of thought as she giggled like an idiot. She fantasized about the colt taking her in his arms...
Only to hear a high pitched buzzing noise.

She awoke from her fantasy, and was rather confused by what had happened. She looked around the room, mildly confused. “Spike, did you hear that?”

Spike gulped down part of his sandwich. “Hear what?”

“There was a buzzing noise. Was that you?”

“I’m eating here, and my mouth is closed.”

Twilight shrugged and went back to her story. She continued to read, the story getting more and more saucy as she continued. She fantasized yet again, replacing the damsel with herself.

-------------------------------
Swift took Twilight to his bedchambers and sprawled her across the bed. He closed the door as Twilight laid in her dress.

“It seems we are alone, my sweet.” She said seductively.

“Yes, we are.” Swift chuckled, walking towards the bed. He climbed onto the end and started to crawl over Twilight’s body, hovering over her as she giggled shyly, her face turning a deep red. He leant down to kiss Twilight’s neck, bringing his tongue up her neck and past her jaw line. She gasped in excitement, wanting more.

As he leaned forward, Twilight looked into his topaz coloured eyes and his white fur, his brown mane hanging over her. Their noses almost touched as Twilight wrapped her forehooves around his neck.

He smiled and said, “Before we get a bit... intimate, I just want to say something.”

She stroked his cheek with her left hoof. “Oh, and what’s that?”

He leaned a bit closer, as Twilight wanted to hear what words he had to say. As he opened his mouth, he only said one thing;

“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE—“

---------------------------

Twilight awoke from her fantasy again, more disturbed and confused than before.

“Okay, what is that?” She said in frustration.

“Is it the buzzing noise again?” Spike replied.

She nodded as he held up a hoof. Spike stopped eating to listen for the buzzing. After a short pause, the buzzing returned.

“Do you hear that?” Twilight said quietly.

“Yeah, I do. Where is it?” Spike replied in the same tone.

“I don’t know, but wherever it is, it’s going to meet my hoof.”

Twilight stood up and walked around the room, looking for the fly that had pestered her. She peered at a shelf, looking a bit closer, and a black dot sped out and dashed around the room.

“There it is, get it!” She shouted.

Spike almost dropped his sandwich and ran to Twilight, who was trying to catch it with her hooves. He searched the room for the fly, and saw it speed past him. He tried to catch it, but it flew away too quickly. He ran for it, and managed to corner it. He took a leap to catch it, but it flew out of his hands and he landed on his rear.

Twilight dashed over to Spike, helping him up. “Did you get it, Spike?”

He sighed as his hands showed no fly. “Nothing.”

Twilight groaned in annoyance, and stamped in frustration. She turned to think of other ideas to catch the fly, but saw it land on one of Spike’s head spines.

“Spike, remain perfectly still, it’s on one of your spines.” She said quietly.

He remained still, waiting for Twilight to catch the pest. She lowered herself into a pouncing position, and dragged a backhoof across the floor.

“Uh, Twilight... What are you doing?” asked Spike, becoming more and more worried.

Twilight gave off a smirk, and dashed towards the dragon, and leapt into the air with a battle cry of, “DIE, FLY!!”

She landed on Spike, who tumbled to the floor. As she looked up, she saw the fly hovering above her, almost taunting her as it sped off again. Twilight slammed a forehoof to the floor, getting increasingly angrier.

“For Pete’s sake, I’ll never get that stupid fly!”

“Twi, I would like to remind you that you are lying on top of me and you are rather heavy.” said Spike, his voice muffled by Twilight’s chest.

She smiled sheepishly as she climbed off the dragon. She helped him onto his feet as she looked around the room again.

“Right, the fly can’t have gone far, Spike.”

He thought for a moment, and came up with an idea. He ran to the kitchen and opened up a cupboard full of plates and glasses. Twilight became curious at what Spike had in mind. He pulled a glass out of the cupboard and walked back to her.

He held the glass up to her as Twilight became confused. “What do you want me to do with that, Spike?”

“Isn’t it obvious? You can use your magic to catch the fly with the glass, cover the rim up with a piece of paper and set it free outside.” He replied with a smile.

Twilight soon got the idea, and took the glass with her magic. “Spike, you’re a genius!”

He felt somewhat humbled as Twilight walked off with a smile on her face. She levitated the glass in front of her and looked around, trying to find out where the fly was. She saw the fly speed past her, and she controlled the glass to trail behind the fly. The fly and the glass sped across the room, rising and falling as the fly continued to evade the glass. Spike ducked and dived as the glass flew by him multiple times, her catching efforts becoming futile.

As Twilight got more frustrated, Spike ran to her with another idea. “Twilight, I’ve got an idea. Stop chasing the fly and catch it when it rests on a wall.”

Twilight nodded and brought the glass back to her. The fly slowed down and rested on the wall in front of them. She grinned wickedly as she hovered the glass behind the fly, and shot it towards the fly. She then realised that glass shatters on heavy impacts, and before she could pull back to stop the glass, it did in fact shatter on contact with the wall, showering the two in glass shards.

The two curled up in fright as shards of glass rained down on them. As the glass rain stopped, they uncurled from their positions. Spike remained unharmed, but Twilight got a cut on her left shoulder. They looked at the fly as it buzzed away, evading the two yet again.

Twilight walked out of the glass shards and sat down on the floor, sighing in frustration. Spike walked to her and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Twi, are you giving up?”

She nodded without saying a word, looking at the floor. The fly rested on the floor by the front door, as a few knocks came from the door. The door opened to reveal Rarity, wearing a large pink hat with feathers adorned on the rim and a white faux mink fur coat. As she walked in, she stepped on the fly, as the two looked at her in awe.

“Hello, Twilight. I’ve made this lovely new hat and faux fur coat, and I was just dying to show it to you. What do you think?”

The two stared at her in amazement, their silence and shocked expression making Rarity happier.

“Oh, I knew you two would love it, thank you so much for your opinion! I must go and show Fluttershy, cheerio!” She said, closing the door behind her as she skipped out.

The two didn’t move for a while, but Twilight shook out of her stupor and walked to the blood splatter on the floor where the fly used to be. She looked at it and sighed with relief, smiling as she walked back to the kitchen.

Spike smiled back at her and shrugged. “Well, I suppose good things come to those who are in need.”

She opened the drawer and pulled out a band-aid with a heart print on the front. “Either that or it was just plain luck.”

The two chuckled as Twilight adorned the plaster to her cut. She walked back to the rug and levitated her love story back to her. “Now, where were we, Mister Swift?” she mused to herself.

Spike shrugged and went back to his sandwich, taking a bite from it and sitting at the table, glad that all is well again.

----------------------------------------

“...And then I showed it to Twilight and Spike and they looked at me in absolute awe, they were literally speechless! I think this design has been one of the better ones.”

“I do love it Rarity, it looks very you.”

Rarity sat in Fluttershy’s cottage, joining her for a quick chat and some tea. She took a sip from the mug as Fluttershy returned to the sofa with a tin of biscuits.

Rarity leant forward, wanting to share more gossip. “So, I had this new design ready, but I need someone to try it on. Could you help me with that, darling?”

Fluttershy smiled and leant back on the sofa. “Of course, Rarity. I’d be glad to try out some new designs for you.”

“Thank you, Fluttershy.”

As Rarity levitated the mug to her and took a sip from it, Fluttershy noticed a black splodge on her hoof.

“Uh, Rarity, there’s something on the bottom of your right hoof.”

“Is there?”

Rarity looked at her hoof and noticed the squished fly. She recoiled in disgust as she scraped it off her hoof. “Eww, that’s so gross, I stepped on a fly!”

Fluttershy frowned and shyly looked at her mug. “Sorry if you didn’t want to know about that, but I just wanted to point it out.”

“Fluttershy, it’s fine. Thank you for letting me know about that.”

Rarity leant back and started gossiping again. “Anyway, about that new design I made a few days ago...”

The End

(This was quite a fun story to write here. Comments and criticism appreciated.)

Comments

[YourCrazyBenefactor]

I liked it, it was a very nice short story that brings out a smile. I loved the abruptness of Rarity, though i think it could have been a little less... Forced.
a few things though. “For Pete’s sake, I’ll never get that stupid fly!” You should probably change that to "By Celestia". Or something to do with her, instead of a religion that hasnt be introduced to the world of equestria. But other then that, an amazing article! Keep up the good work

[Regidar]

1707494 They've used "Pete's Sake" before, I think.

[SgtFrog]

1707749
They have indeed. In "Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000", the Apple family has, unfortunately, run out of cider to sell to the town. Rainbow Dash, near the back of the line, screams "OH FOR PETE'S SAKE!"

Though a clever fan has stated that it's actually "for peat's sake", saying it's actually an old Earth Pony swear.

[Regidar]

1707763
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/171/496/8b478dfa-983f-40a6-b170-e88b2c5ff7a5.jpg?1315373929

[GAPDashie]

1707773

Pinkie Pie, you are so random.

[Flutter derp]

1707904 1707773
thats our Regidar!

[SuperPinkBrony12]

We've all been there before, we get an annoying little fly in our home that won't go away and we have no choice but to kill it.

In other words to quote Homer Simpson "Stupid bug you go squish now!"

And where did you find that cover image, is it from a preview clip of "Magic Duel"?

[SmegAndTheHeads]

1708996 Thanks for the comment, and no, it's a piece of fan-art of a tired and messy Twilight I found on Derpibooru.

[SuperPinkBrony12]

1713442 Good, I was worried about what that would mean if it was.

[Jubilancy]

This story really made me laugh! Favorite.

[Doc_Sparks]

The criticism: Twilight's romance novel seems a bit misplaced for her character. She's always struck me as a bit too serious for such stories.
"Gross" seems to simple of word for Rarity to use to describe displeasure at something. I would use disgusting or another synonym.
The end scene between Fluttershy and Rarity seems superfluous. I would have dropped it entirely.

Minor criticisms aside this story got a like from me. It was comical and enjoyable.

[Alpha Scorpii]

Seems that Celestia is not the only one who has problems with an insect.

This was really funny, I loved it. The scene where Twilight imagines herself inside the romance novel made me laugh hard Bravo.