Face your Fears

(No Cover Image this time, as I couldn't find one. Sorry!)

Rumble gets into a fight with a girl he knows and is left battered and bruised. With ponies thinking that he started the fight, he is scared to return home and flies away from Ponyville. He turns to Fluttershy in his time of need and seeks her help, revealing that his attacker may not be the nice girl everypony thinks she is.

Comments and Criticism are appreciated.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 9 )

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deathtap

deathtap #1 · Jun 10th, 2012 · · ·

Cute, but the flow is static. At times I kept thinking that I missed something, and the way your text and actions are segregated kind of spoil it as well.
Although the story was nice, the writing ruined it. Also, I can't imagine Fluttershy being that friendly and open even to a young child - but that is fine, it's your story.

SmegAndTheHeads

SmegAndTheHeads #2 · Jun 10th, 2012 · · ·

724280 As I've said, it's not fantastic, but I don't know Fluttershy's character that well, so I did the best I could. Not my best work, I do agree.

ThisAccountisDead420

ThisAccountisDead420 #3 · Jun 17th, 2012 · · ·

It is ok.

Goholite

Goholite #4 · Jun 19th, 2012 · · ·

Preddddeeectable, but thank you for using Rumble

SmegAndTheHeads

SmegAndTheHeads #5 · Jun 19th, 2012 · · ·

772228 No problem. It was just an idea I had, and it's not very good either.

Carpetbagger

Carpetbagger #6 · Jul 27th, 2012 · · ·

I came for a Rumble fanfiction and stayed for a decent story. Best advice I can give is to keep reading and writing. You'll start to notice a significant improvement in your story telling and eventually forge it into your own style. After you get a few fanfics under your belt, go back and read your ealier works and notice the difference.
As for this story, it felt like you were intentionally leaving out elements of the conflict. Bullying is a sensitive subject, but you did a good job even if you left out key scenes. A good start for your fanfiction career, but now it's time to build on it with the advice you've asked for.

SmegAndTheHeads