-Comin' back on the rebound!- I'm the guy who specialises in Spike stories.
After a busy day of reading love stories, a fly invades Twilight's personal space and wants to get rid of it. With the aid of Spike, will they ever catch the fly, or will it evade them at every turn?
(Comments and Criticism appreciated.)
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I liked it, it was a very nice short story that brings out a smile. I loved the abruptness of Rarity, though i think it could have been a little less... Forced.
a few things though. “For Pete’s sake, I’ll never get that stupid fly!” You should probably change that to "By Celestia". Or something to do with her, instead of a religion that hasnt be introduced to the world of equestria. But other then that, an amazing article! Keep up the good work
1707494 They've used "Pete's Sake" before, I think.
1707749
They have indeed. In "Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000", the Apple family has, unfortunately, run out of cider to sell to the town. Rainbow Dash, near the back of the line, screams "OH FOR PETE'S SAKE!"
Though a clever fan has stated that it's actually "for peat's sake", saying it's actually an old Earth Pony swear.
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Pinkie Pie, you are so random.
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thats our Regidar!
We've all been there before, we get an annoying little fly in our home that won't go away and we have no choice but to kill it.
In other words to quote Homer Simpson "Stupid bug you go squish now!"
And where did you find that cover image, is it from a preview clip of "Magic Duel"?
1708996 Thanks for the comment, and no, it's a piece of fan-art of a tired and messy Twilight I found on Derpibooru.
1713442 Good, I was worried about what that would mean if it was.
The criticism: Twilight's romance novel seems a bit misplaced for her character. She's always struck me as a bit too serious for such stories.
"Gross" seems to simple of word for Rarity to use to describe displeasure at something. I would use disgusting or another synonym.
The end scene between Fluttershy and Rarity seems superfluous. I would have dropped it entirely.
Minor criticisms aside this story got a like from me. It was comical and enjoyable.
Seems that Celestia is not the only one who has problems with an insect.
This was really funny, I loved it. The scene where Twilight imagines herself inside the romance novel made me laugh hard
Bravo.