Chapter 6: I'm Weird 'Cause I Hate Goodbyes
I stare blankly at Trixie for what seems like forever. It almost feels like a dream. It hadn’t even occurred to me that I was standing in front of her in nothing but a wife-beater and shorts.
Trixie picks up on my ogling her and speaks up. “Ahem! Sir? Correct Trixie if she’s wrong, but is it not customary on your world to invite visitors into your home? Besides, you're currently looking after the filly named Diamond Tiara, aren’t you? Surely Trixie’s presence doesn’t come as that much of a shock.”
I blink at her words. Good. So I’m not completely brain-dead. “S-Sorry,” I finally say to her. “P-Please…come in. Uh… Were you talking to someone just now?”
“Indeed, I was. Trixie first needed to make sure you’d willingly invite us in. You may show yourselves now!”
Just then, as if on cue, a few more ponies appear before me, as if they were invisible before now. First, a little gray-coated filly with a silvery-gray mane and tail that I recognized as Silver Spoon. Then, a grown stallion with a pale amber coat and slicked-back jet-black mane: Tiara’s father, Filthy Rich. To his immediate left, an unfamiliar mare with a carnation-pink coat and a mane and tail that gleamed several shades of purple: Tiara’s mother, I presumed. Finally, who should appear behind them but the tall and majestic princess of the Equestrian night herself, Princess Luna?
“Is it true?” asks Silver Spoon first. “Is Diamond Tiara really here?”
My gaze falls upon Trixie once more, and my eyes narrow. “…Yeah,” I reply. “She’s here.”
I invite the four into my home as my inner brony relaxes, excusing myself briefly to change into a clean shirt and pants and wake up Tiara. The reunion goes about as well as you’d expect.
“MOM! DAD!”
“Oh, my little ‘Dazzle’! Thank heavens you’re alright!”
“Diamond Tiara!”
“Silver Spoon!”
“Bump, bump, sugar lump rump!”
…A short while later, the seven of us are gathered in my living room to speak more comfortably. I lean against the wall next to my television set, my arms crossed and my expression sour. Across from me sits the (now arguably) ‘Great and Powerful’ Trixie and Silver Spoon on my couch. Princess Luna stands a few feet to my right, and off to the side is Tiara, who even now refuses to leave her parents’ side for fear of them disappearing into thin air. For the first couple of minutes, there’s only silence in the room, the only sound being the sound of my left index finger tapping on my right arm in an inconsistent rhythm. I would have offered them all something to eat or drink, but I was far too angry at the azure unicorn sitting across from me.
Princess Luna is the first to break the palpable tension. “We thank thee for granting us entry into thy home, Sir—”
“Richie.”
“—Sir Richie, as well as looking after one of our subjects for how long it had taken us to find thee. We are certain young Diamond Tiara’s mother and father are doubly, if not triply, grateful to thee.”
“We most certainly are,” Filthy Rich says. “We can’t thank ya enough for lookin’ after our little ‘Dazzle’ here. She must’ve been quite the handful.” As he speaks, he playfully nuzzles Tiara’s cheek.
“Daaaaaaad!” Tiara whines through her blush. “Cut it out!”
“Uh-huh,” is all I manage to say, as my gaze is fixed solely on Trixie.
Made uncomfortable by my dagger-shooting glare, Trixie finally speaks up. “Trixie can’t help but notice that you haven’t stopped glaring at her since we’ve arrived.”
I spare her none of my bitterness. “I’m sure you know why,” I snap. “Do you have any idea what you’ve put Tiara through?”
“‘Tiara’?” Silver Spoon sneers, surprised to hear me refer to her best friend so informally.
Trixie shrinks away from my accusation and rubs a foreleg, ashamed. “I take it then Diamond Tiara has informed you of my…grievous blunder?”
“‘Grievous blunder’, huh? Yeah, let’s talk about your ‘grievous blunder’, shall we? Stranding her in an unfamiliar world, making her brave the harsh winter weather – by herself and with barely any warm clothes – and nearly freezing to death…! Need I go on?!”
“T-The Great and Powerful Trixie has apologized up and down for what she’s done already! It was, as I’ve said countless times now, an accident!”
“An accident?!?”
“Enough,” Luna commands. I clam up in a heartbeat, if only because of the night princess’ demanding tone of voice. “The blame has been meted out enough now, by both our sister Celestia and by Diamond Tiara’s parents. What’s done is done. Let us not dwell on it and taint what is supposed to be a cordial visit with words of venom. …Sir Richie, you say how much of an inconvenience this has been to Diamond Tiara, but surely this has all been an inconvenience to you as well. Are we mistaken?”
I look away from Trixie long enough to calm down, and I answer, “Well, no. It was kind of a hassle at first…” In the corner of my eye, I see Tiara hang her head in shame. “…But it was also kind of fun. It was great having Tiara here. …If I may speak candidly, your Highness…”
“You may.”
“What took you so long to find us?”
“Ah. That, my good sir, you may blame us for.”
“I’m sorry?”
“We confess, we had actually found your world and discovered Diamond Tiara’s presence in it for several days now.”
“What? Then why didn’t you—?”
“Please,” she cuts me off. “Let us elaborate, for there is much we have to answer for. Once we found Diamond Tiara in your world, and learned that she was in your care, I sent a magically concealed Trixie here to observe you. She was distraught over the pain she caused and was looking to make amends. She informed me that the two of you had gotten rather close in the time it’d taken us to locate you. Realizing that and fearing you would not hand over Diamond Tiara so readily, I…came to a decision. A decision that, upon reflection, I profoundly regret.”
“What decision…?”
“I ordered Trixie to cast a spell. A spell that coerces the worst aspects of a pony’s nature, however suppressed, to the surface. I needed to separate you.”
I feel a chill run down my body. That day. That damn day. Tiara’s words from that day fly through my head at supersonic speed.
“I’ve been here for over a week now! You said you’d figure out how to get me home, but you haven’t done anything!”
“I bet I’d have been home by now if I didn’t have to rely on you!”
“What do you mean, ‘all of a sudden’? This is how I always act!”
“Hmph! Like I’d actually be friends with a stupid…useless…BLANK FLANK like you!”
“You mean…” It takes all of my willpower to not scream bloody murder at Luna. “It’s because of you and Trixie that…that I almost…!”
Trixie shuts her eyes in anticipation of my outburst.
Once again, Luna cuts me off before any outburst could come. “You must believe us, it was not a decision we made lightly. Even Trixie had qualms over casting such an invasive spell. If it were possible, we’d take back that decision a thousand times over.”
I still had questions; my anger would have to wait. “Okay. So you have Trixie cast a spell to drive a wedge between me and Tiara. Why didn’t you come and take her home then? She went back to the park and waited for you to.”
“Well…you might ask Trixie for the answer to that.”
I instinctively look back to Trixie, my expression pleading for answers.
She picks her head up, but she doesn’t meet my eye. “I… Trixie saw how upset you were after your dispute. Princess Luna and I hoped that, if you were separated, you’d simply…forget about each other. But that didn’t happen. Trixie was instructed to retrieve Diamond Tiara then, but…Trixie couldn’t bring herself to. Trixie felt…sorry for you, wanted you to reconcile before we confronted you on more even footing.”
“While we were disappointed that Trixie had gone behind our back,” Luna continues, “we understood the reasoning behind her actions. Such that Diamond Tiara’s loved ones braved the journey across the worlds with us to meet you face-to-face. Which brings us to today.”
I look down at Trixie apologetically. “You did that…for us?” I almost wanted to go over and hug the unicorn. But I settled for telling her, “…Thank you.”
Trixie’s cheeks flush with a little color. She gives me a half-smile, pleased to have actually done something right. “You’re …quite welcome.”
Luna carries on further with, “If our actions have so deeply upset thee, Sir Richie, we apologize. It was not our intention to cause you – either of you – such heartache.”
I shake my head. “Don’t apologize, your Highness. Like I said, it was great having Tiara here.” I look over to the small filly. “I wouldn’t trade the memories of our time spent together for anything in the world.”
Her eyes begin to water. “Richie…”
Before her imminent tears drive me to tears as well, I turn back to Luna, my smile slowly curling down. “But…if you’re taking Diamond Tiara home, I’m guessing it means I won’t get to keep those memories…doesn’t it?”
Tiara seems unnerved at the thought of me having my memories wiped.
Princess Luna picks up on this and looks up toward me. “…Our sister will likely be displeased by this…but no. We will not tamper with thy memories, Sir Richie. Consider it recompense for so selflessly looking after one of our sister’s little ponies. We are certain we speak for all of Equestria when we say…thank thee very much.”
My face feels warm as Luna bows her head to me. A princess of Equestria bowing to me? I rub the back of my head in humility. I don’t feel like I’ve done anything special. I did what anyone with my kind of upbringing would’ve done in the same situation.
“Richie?”
I glance downward and see a practically teary-eyed Tiara standing at my feet. I kneel down to meet her eye and rub her ear a little. “Hey, Tiara,” I speak in almost a whisper. “I bet you’re pretty stoked to be going home, huh? Sorry it took so long.”
The first few of her tears start to fall. “Y-Yeah…”, she says to me, sniffling.
I move my hand over to stroke her head and mane some too. “Remember…what we talked about, okay? You can be in charge and…not be mean. You said…you’d try, right?”
Tiara shudders with each stifled sob. “Uh-huh…”
My vision begins to blur, and I soon realize that I’m crying too. I couldn’t hold myself back. I reach down and take the sobbing Tiara into my arms, my tears dripping onto her lavish coat. “I’m gonna miss you so much, Tiara.”
“…Me too.”
Filthy Rich and his wife were no doubt amazed at how much their little ‘Dazzle’ had changed during her time away from home.
“You could stay, you know?” I tell the petite pony in my arms. “You said you didn’t have many friends back home, but you have me here. And I accept you, flaws and all, even if they don’t.”
“You goofball. We both know that’s impossible. I have to go.”
“I know, but…!” I was near hysterical. As hard as I try to convince myself this was bound to happen, this had to happen, my desperation still shines through. I had just gotten used to the idea of her staying, and now… My hold around Tiara tightens a little. “I feel like I was just getting to know you! The REAL you!”
“I know. But think how many ponies will also get to know the real me when I get back. Let’s face it: the foals in my class would be a mess without me.”
I chuckle lightly at her joke before letting her go. I wipe the tears from her eyes, and she wipes the tears from mine. “…Wait here, okay? I have something for you.” I excuse myself from the room again and dart over to my room, returning shortly with something hidden behind my back. Walking over, I whisper into Princess Luna’s ear, asking if it was alright to give it to Tiara.
The benevolent princess of the night nods.
I kneel in front of Tiara again and present her with my old teddy bear, the one she’d come to enjoy cuddling as she slept. I was suddenly really grateful to my dad for having me hold onto it. “Here, Tiara,” I say to the filly as I hand her the stuffed toy, “I want you to have this.”
She eyes the toy before meeting my gaze again. “You… You’re giving this to me?”
“Mm-hmm. I know how much you like to sleep with him, and without someone to enjoy him, he’s just gonna go back to collecting dust on a shelf. He had his fun with me when I was little. So maybe he can have a little more fun…with you.”
Tiara slowly reaches out and takes the stuffed bear into her hooves. The tears begin to fall a second time, and she jumps up to wrap her forelegs around my neck. I hug her back, of course. “…Thanks for not giving up on me,” she whispers as she nuzzles my cheek.
I hold Tiara close for what’s sure to be the last time and for as long as I possibly could. She was warm. I loved this warmth.
Over on the couch, I barely make out the sound of Silver Spoon’s soft sniffling.
Tiara pulls away from the hug first, and smiles at me. I return her smile and kiss her forehead. With my – I mean, her teddy bear tucked away, she goes to join her parents, Trixie, and Silver Spoon at Princess Luna’s side. The princess’ horn glows bright cobalt, and a wind begins to blow through my living room.
“Trixie?” I call out before the wind drowns out my voice.
“Hmm?”
“Sorry for…you know…yelling at you and stuff.”
She laughs off my apology. “Silly human! The new Great and Powerful Trixie doesn’t hold a grudge! …But…apology accepted.”
I wave farewell to the six – Tiara mostly – as they prepare to leave my world. Tiara holds her stuffed toy for dear life and smiles at me. And in a burst of cerulean light, they all vanish. Just as suddenly as they showed up, they were gone. I stand in silence in my empty living room, coming to terms with Tiara’s departure and the fact that I’d probably never see her again. I feel the tears coming on again, and I don’t fight them. But I’m not sad. Not completely. I’m happy. Happy that I got the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to become acquainted with a sweet, little filly from another world. Happy that she was home where she belonged. And incredibly grateful to Trixie, not only for sending her to me but also for going against her princess’ orders and helping Tiara and me patch things up.
My opinion of the character Diamond Tiara has been turned completely around. Because Diamond Tiara is more than just a character to me now. She’ll never be just a character to me anymore.
She’s my friend.
And that’ll never change.
“…Oh! Or how about the part where Pinkie goes, ‘this donkey is really, really BALD!’?”
“Hahahaha! Oh, man, I love that part!”
It’s been two days since Diamond Tiara went home. The world kept on spinning. But not everything stayed the same. I finally asked Summer out on a date. She said yes the second I asked. Dinner and a movie; nothing spectacular. And guess what? She loves the new My Little Pony too! Just when I thought she couldn’t be any more perfect! I mean, I know I shouldn’t be surprised, her being a girl and all, but whatever. It was pretty much all we talked about on the drive from the movie theater to her house, even now as I’m walking her to her front door.
“Maybe next year we should go to BronyCon.” she proposes. “We can go dressed as Doctor Whooves and Derpy!”
“Heh. Sounds like a plan. Let’s drag Jesse along and dress him up as Spike just to piss him off.”
“Hah! Totally!” We reach Summer’s front door within seconds, and she turns to me with her hands clasped behind her back. “…I had a great time tonight.”
“…Yeah. Me too.”
Taking a brazen step toward me, Summer reaches up to wrap her arms around my neck and leans in to initiate a kiss. I reel a little in surprise at first, but my arms seem to take on a life of their own and wrap around Summer’s waist, and I ease into it. Sparks fly in my brain, and my heart nearly leaps out of my chest. She presses her soft lips firmly against mine – a sensation I’d long dreamed of – and nothing else seems to matter.
We stay like that for almost a full minute before Summer slowly pulls away. She smiles widely, her face flushed tomato-red. Leaning in, she rests her forehead on mine and whispers, “…I’ve wanted to do that for over two years now.”
“Sorry to make you wait for so long,” I whisper back with a quiet chuckle before moving in to kiss her again.
The perfect end to a perfect date. I was sure I’d be riding this high until I saw Jesse next and he assaulted me with ‘I-told-you-so’s’.
I sit in front of my computer as the sun starts to go down. Half of my attention is devoted to the episode of Friendship is Magic that I’m live-streaming, and the other half is toward the folder of photos I’d taken of Diamond Tiara during her stay. Our snow day in the park. Splashing me in the bathtub. Modeling the new clothes I bought her. Waving at me as she swings from the swing set. Each picture to appear on my computer screen is another precious memory I relive. And each memory I relive brings me closer to tears. I missed her smile, her warmth, already. I missed calling her ‘Tiara’ and hearing her call me ‘weirdo’, ‘goofball’, or ‘freak-a-zoid’. I missed—
~Knock, knock, knock~
…I miss not having moments to myself interrupted by knocks at the door at odd hours of the day!
With a heavy sigh, I pick myself up out of the chair and move toward my front door. In the time I’ve lived by myself (short as it was), I don’t think I’ve ever had someone knock on my door this late in the day. “Who is it?” I call out.
No reply.
“…Hello?” I call out a second time. Still nothing. “…I swear, if I open the door and find a flaming bag of—”
Mercifully, I don’t find myself the victim of a stupid prank and instead open my door to the sight of…
…a cardboard box.
I almost burst out laughing. “Okay. There’s no goddamn way I’m that lucky.”
Sure enough, I don’t see anything on the side of the box along the lines of ‘Give to good home’, nor do I hear anything inside that constitutes as breathing. In addition, and just as mercifully, I don’t hear anything ticking, so that also rules out ‘cardboard box bomb’. Nevertheless, I don’t remember ordering any packages.
I bring the (rather large from up close) box inside and set it down on the living room coffee table. Upon closer inspection, I see a light-blue card jutting out from underneath one of the flaps on top. I pull the card out to read whatever’s written on it; most of the lettering is in exquisite cursive, the rest in childlike handwriting.
Or should I say…mouthwriting?
To Sir Richie ~
Apologies for the impromptu gift; Diamond Tiara was rather insistent.
Once again, you have our sincerest and most heartfelt thanks for looking after her.
We hope this shall serve as further recompense for thy noble deeds.
Our sister Celestia sends her regards.
~ Princess Luna of Equestria
Miss you, goofball! Hope you like your present! You better take good care of it!
Love, Tiara
The card slips out of my fingers, and I very nearly rip the box apart. I control myself just enough to avoid tearing Diamond Tiara’s gift. I pull open the box’s flaps…and I’m greeted by Tiara’s smiling face. A plush replica of Diamond Tiara – made to scale, it looked like – sits in the box before me.
My breath becomes shallow.
I tenderly lift the stuffed toy out of the box and hold it up. Same coat color. Same mane and tail. Same blue eyes. I hold it close. Even the same faint scent of lavender. Princess Luna does quality work. I wonder if she takes commissions.
I know it’s not the real Tiara…but it’s almost as good.
I shut my computer down for the night and crawl into bed with the plush Tiara. As the cold wind beats fiercely against my window, I hold the stuffed doll close and I’m kept warm by the heat it gives off.
Thoughts of life with Tiara filled my dreams that night.
“Teddy bears are for babies!”
Maybe. If that’s the case, I’ll happily stay a kid for a little while longer.
In another world, a pink-coated filly is tucked into bed – the bed she’d so dearly missed – by her loving mother and father, beyond thrilled to have their daughter back. Her mother kisses her forehead, and she snuggles close to her beloved new teddy bear under the sheets, drifting off to dream of mountains of delicious apple cobbler.
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And that's that. Hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.
FYI, Diamond Tiara's nickname of "Dazzle" is derived from her toyline name "Diamond Dazzle Tiara".
i40.tinypic.com/15yqyq.gif
I demand a sequel!
I agree with ShadowOfOrder, and I second SoaringFlight.
Thank you for this story.
Oh, I loved how you used a character like this, one we only saw one side of and completely turned it around on its head good show.
I liked the level of connection that Diamond and Richie end up connecting at.
The Ending was superb that's all I can say.
Thank you again.
Always good to see someone, even a fictional someone, come to understand that Diamond Tiara is best pony ;) She can even make for a "pony in a box" story good.
And adding it to The Diamond Cutters group.
One suggestion: in this last chapter, Trixie's spell to drive them apart should probably amplify a pony's worst nature (or aspects), rather than true nature. After all, Richie is trying to show her that she can be herself, she doesn't have to be mean. But if her true nature is to be mean...
I figured one of these had to exist. I need to read and review this at the earliest opportune moment.
1995064
An excellent call, Mudpony -- glad I thought of it.
Seriously though, it's times like this I wish I had editors.
I just got a fresh wave of snow this past Friday. It was frigid, it was depressing, and it brought everything to a sluggish pace. What I'm trying to say is that It didn't remind me of this story at all.
This story is a wonderful counterpart to MLD. The relationship is initially opposing, the focus is on comedy over emotion, we have a short-term relationship instead of a long-term one, Luna shows up at the end in place of Celestia, none of the Mane 6 are even involved outside of being mentioned offhand, there's focus on relationships with external characters other than just the main two, and the list just keeps going on from there.
Diamond's character seemed to stick to the basic format of fanfiction Diamond Tiara. Starts out mean and antagonistic and ends up agreeable and cooperative if still a bit impish. Nothing wrong with following a good formula, especially when it's done smoothly. Personally, I'm just glad to read a story again that has her go through character development without romance being the driving factor.
Oddly enough, Richie's character seemed to stick to the basic format of MLD brony human. He's a fan of the show, his reactions are natural, he ends up getting attached to the one he's watching and becomes a Papa Wolf over her, and he serves as the perspective for the reader. We don't find out much about him, but since the main focus is on his relationship with Diamond, it's not really relevant. He also provides the main source of humor in the story, which I do believe is important in a comedy.
To express my own perspective on this story, I was actually under the impression that there was actually too much emotion. As both a comedy and slice of life story, I wasn't really expecting to make any attempts to snag the reader's sympathy. I can understand there being a few moments of emotion to counterbalance some of the humor, but they just kept coming from beginning to end. From what I've seen from these other comments, most people seem to be commenting on how sad it is more than how funny it is. I'd say it's divided between the two, and I believe a focus on one over the other would probably be stronger storytelling.
Since this story involved a short-term relationship, the ending was left to inevitably be less sad than the one from MLD. However, I thought this would be for the best since it could allow a more comedic sendoff that would directly oppose that ending. I can honestly say I was a bit disappointed to see it played straight, but it was at least sweet. I'm not sure why, but I was expecting the story's final ending to involve Richie watching a new episode of MLP and seeing something recognizably different about Diamond's character. Instead, the question of Diamond's change in character was left ambiguous, which might have worked better if not for the fact that she's quite obviously changed in some way. The reader's left knowing that Diamond's changed, but we don't know how much. Some readers might enjoy letting their imagination decide what happens next; others might feel a bit unsatisfied. I suppose I'm part of the latter, but only by a little. I generally like open endings, but I find that they work best when they're not already half closed.
I'm always one to appreciate subtlety when an author incorporates it. Don't worry. Your subtle transition from "daddy" to "dad" throughout the story to figuratively represent the growth of Diamond's character did not go unnoticed. Allow me to compliment you on being the first story I've read to not have Diamond call Filthy "daddy" throughout its entirety. I've been waiting to see that.
To sum things up, I thought this story was a cold bar of milk chocolate. Each chapter was just as enjoyable as the next, and there were no nuts to ruin the texture. Its frigidity prevented any of it from being melted, and it gave the overall taste something of a chill that gave it a pleasant, icy feel. Then, before I knew it, it was all gone, but getting another one wouldn't taste as good.
Happy writing!
2039402
Wow, am I blushing. Thank you for the kind words. Glad you enjoyed it.
Bro
I was sitting in the locker room, at the gym, when I finished this. How dare you make me cry and get made fun of by these douchebags
A good story, in any case. Pretty much like Little Dashie, but more meaningful to me, at least (Dash is just the obnoxious tomboy, this offers a bit more insight to Diamond and leaves some sympathy for her character). I always did like Diamond. I commend you, sir, and you get an enthusiastic thumbs up!
This was so much better than My Little Dashy
THE FEELS : rivers of manly tears.
PS : make me cry more because DT is my favorite carater since COTLM (crusaders of the lost mark)