> Diamond Snow
>  by ImperfectXIII
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Chapter 1: Discovery in the Snow
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sigh. Merry Christmas to me, I guess. Well, technically, it’ll be Christmas in an hour or so, but whatever.

It’s been two months now. Two months since I left home and moved into my own place upstate. Always felt that was a big accomplishment. Promised myself I’d move out as soon as I graduated high school, and I still can’t believe I actually did it. Chalk one up in the win column for Richie.

Not a bad place either, I had to say. One story, two bedrooms, one bathroom, kitchen and dining area, working electricity and plumbing – all I’d ever need, really. Plus, it was within my projected budget for rent. Landlady’s a real nice gal; was pretty flexible on the price, given my hourly wages. I was living the life, right?

…So then, why do I feel like complete crap?

Maybe it’s ‘cause I have no one to spend the holidays with? My friends and coworkers are all doing it up with their friends and family that live close by. I’d been extended invitations so I didn’t have to spend the holidays alone, but I didn’t want to feel like the odd one out. Meanwhile, the roads are completely frozen over, preventing me from visiting my own loved ones out of town. It’s just as well. I’d had enough of my folks blubbering over my leaving home so soon after graduation (my fourteen-year-old sister was hit especially hard by my decision). I was in no mood to be guilted into moving back home ‘for family’s sake’ after only two months.

Although I guess I did owe Paige the courtesy of a phone call.

But I think I know what the real reason was.  I look over to my bedroom window and see that it’s snowing lightly outside. I grimace. I’ve never really liked the snow. Snow meant that it’s cold as hell. Snow meant shoveling. Lots of shoveling. And now, snow just served as a reminder that I wasn’t in school anymore and I couldn’t count on it being a snow day. I might’ve liked it when I was little, but that was a long time ago.

I push the bad weather out of my head and turn back to the computer screen in front of me.

And so here I am, stuck with nothing to do but drink Coors Light and watch My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic on my desktop. And the world keeps on spinning.

I gotta say, I didn’t think much of the show at first – kinda played it off as a fad that, with time, would eventually fade away and be forgotten. No such luck there apparently, as my junior and senior years of high school were overtaken by ‘pony fever’. Didn’t take long at all for my own little social circles to be, for lack of a better word, ‘infected’ (but totally not in a bad way). After much provocation, a friend of mine convinced me to watch an episode, and I was immediately hooked.

This show never fails to lift my spirits, even when I’m at my lowest. And it’s so pleasing to look at too; big ups to the animation department. On top of that, it succeeds at doing what other shows of my generation fail at: making me genuinely laugh. Which I found myself in need of with it snowing outside.

‘‘Whining’? I am not whining; I am complaining! Do you want to hear whining? THIIIIIS IS WHIIIIINIIIIING!’

True story: the first time I watched that scene, I fell out of my chair, I was laughing so hard.

That particular episode, however, was not the one currently playing on my monitor. No, the episode I was watching starred…a certain character.

‘Alright, listen up! The Foal Free Press is a joke! Nopony at this school takes it seriously. Well, I, the editor-in-chief in charge, am going to deliver us to newfound glory!’

A character that made me roll my eyes every time she spoke.

‘There’s a new regime now, and I want juicy stories! The juicier, the better!’

A character that reminded me of the worst that high school had to offer.

‘I don’t know what you call this, but it sure isn’t news!’

A character that was so one-dimensional, it was laughable.

And that character’s name…was Diamond Tiara.

Since her debut in episode 12, this filly has just rubbed me the wrong way whenever she appeared onscreen. Yes, she’s a bully, but I don’t hate her because of that. I hate her because she’s just badly written. In my experience, even the most unlikeable of TV characters have some redeeming qualities. Hell, I hate Gilda even more, but there was a reason she used to be Rainbow Dash’s friend, right? But where Gilda and others seemed even the tiniest bit likeable, Diamond Tiara just isn’t. Plus, where other villains in this show all had something or another going for them, like Nightmare Moon being totally badass or Discord being the kind of villain I’d want to have a drink with, Diamond Tiara’s just…plain.

Well, dammit. There I go rambling again. How does this show do that to me? I lean back further in my chair, tousling my thick chestnut hair with one hand and downing another swig of beer with the other.

‘Feelings?! I don’t care about feelings!’

…Okay, writers, we get it. You can dial it back a little now.





“…So they’re all sitting around at Sugarcube Corner, yeah? Talking smack about ‘Gabby Gums’ and trying to figure out who she is, right? And Applejack’s all ‘rawr!’, and Fluttershy’s all ‘awww’, and Rarity’s all ‘I’LL DESTROY HER!’”

Christmas Day. I stand two or three feet away from Jesse, my best friend and probably the biggest ‘bro’ in the western hemisphere, at our place of work: a small retail store a few blocks away from where I live. I go on and on about the episode I live-streamed the night before as we relish the let-up in the customer line that would no doubt be short-lived.

Jesse, the bro of bros that he was, just plays off my unbridled enthusiasm with a chuckle. “Okay, rein it in there, ‘pony-brain’,” he says to me, “I can do without the play-by-play.”

“Love and tolerate, baby. Love and tolerate.”

He walks over and wraps a friendly arm around my shoulder, pulling me close. “You’re lucky you’re so good-looking. Otherwise, I’d question where this relationship was heading,” he jokes.

As I flutter my eyelids for effect, I joke back, “Oh, honey, you know you’re the only one for me.”

“Don’t I know it.”

We both go silent then, just gazing into each other’s eyes and smiling. Suddenly, his face starts to move toward mine, and I instinctively react in kind. Our eyes close ever slightly…our parted lips about to meet…

“…GOD-DAMMIT!”

I pull away at the last possible second, and he shouts in triumph, thrusting his forearms up and cackling like a madman. “Yes! I am the king of Gay Chicken! Bow down before me, peons!”

“Celestia help me!”

I’ve known Jesse since middle school, and we did practically everything together since the day we met. Card games, movies, bar hopping, freshman hazes, you name it. My Little Pony was one of the few things we had different opinions on; he’s not into it, but he accepts the fact that I am. That’s more than I can say for certain friends I lost touch with after graduating. Truth be told, I was really grateful he stuck around me as long as he has. Like I said, bro of bros.

As the immature giggling finally dies down, Jesse wipes away his laughter-induced tears and boasts, “You may have your ponies, but I am ‘jokester supreme’.”

I give him a playful punch to the shoulder. “Sure, whatever, ‘your Majesty’.”

“You two are such children,” says a third voice behind me.

I look over my shoulder toward the vision of absolute loveliness standing on the other side of the counter. We’ve known each other for three years, but she never fails in making my heart skip a beat every time I see her.

“Hey, Summer,” Jesse greets first. “What’s up?”

Summer brings a hand up to brush a lock of her blond hair out of her face and tucks it securely behind her ear, granting me full view of her stunning blue eyes, a smirk adorning her features all the while. “What’s always up,” she answers him with just the slightest frustration. “I could hear you guys from clear across the store.”

“Aw, have we distressed Milady and spoiled her much-desired silence?”

“Stuff it, ‘Chuckles’.”

Jesse lets out another laugh while Summer rolls her eyes. Jesse and I may have known each other our whole lives, but Summer didn’t come along until sophomore year. We had her pegged from the start: the kind of girl who played Pokémon for the cute animals rather than the adventure and battles. It wasn’t until she beat the two of us at Yu-Gi-Oh that we became the tight-knit group we are today. She turned out to be extremely fun to hang out with; we could talk to her freely about the things Jesse and I were into, while she offered an ‘insider’s look at the female psyche’, as Jesse had put it. Not quite a ‘girly girl’, but not a complete tomboy either; there was a nice middle ground there. It didn’t hurt that she was also really, really pretty. I get knots in my stomach and a lump in my throat whenever I even consider asking her out. She and Jesse tried it once, but I guess it ended badly – something about bad shrimp at the Olive Garden; I could never wring the specifics out of the two of them – which makes me think if Jesse, who’s gone on ten times as many dates as I have, couldn’t make it work with Summer, what chance did I have?

“So you guys got any big holiday plans?” Summer asks, bringing me out of my mental self-depreciation.

“If it’s anything like last year,” Jesse snorts, “it’ll likely end with Pops and my uncle knocked out from fighting over the TV remote, and my brothers and I passed out from pigging out on my aunt’s awesome turkey and eggnog.”

It was Summer’s turn to laugh. God, even her laugh was perfect. Like Pinkie Pie’s, but not as nasally, or Rarity’s, but not as uppity. “I’d pay money to see that,” she remarks. “What about you, Richie?”

“Me?” The look of surprise on my face then was like I were a commoner being addressed by someone of royalty. I shrug. “Nothing really. I was gonna drive down and visit my folks, but the highways are closed off ‘cause of the ice. So I’ll just be chilling at home.”

“Well, you’re more than welcome to join me and my family tonight. You live by yourself, right? No one should have to spend Christmas by themselves.”

My God, what a saint Summer is! I’m not worthy to even breathe the same air as her! Almost every part of me wanted to cry out ‘Yea verily, fair Summer! I shall take thee up on thy most gracious invitation and make myself presentable for thy kin’s Christmas gathering!’

But those parts of me eventually lost out to the part of me that was in control of my voice. “Nah, it’s cool. I’ll be alright.”

“You sure? My mom’s making apple cobbler~” she says in an enticing sing-song.

“Heh. Tempting, but I’ll take a rain check. Thanks for the invite though.”

Summer seemed to want to voice her thoughts for a second, but eventually relents. I guess she respected that I valued my privacy. With a disappointed yet understanding smile, she says, “Well, I won’t force you. But let me know if you change your mind, okay? I’ll call my mom and have her set a place at the dinner table for you.”

So considerate, this angel was. I give her my warmest smile. “Sure, thanks.”

With that, she leaves the two of us by saying, “And could you guys maybe keep it down before the manager fires your asses?”

“We’ll keep that in mind,” I tell her with a chuckle as I watch her sashay away. I was almost in a trance before Jesse’s palm to the back of my head brings me out of it. “Hey!”

“You are either the most masochistic person I know,” he starts, evidently annoyed, “or the stupidest! Why do you do this to yourself, man?!”

“Do what?”

“This! Turning down Christmas dinner with the girl of your dreams! I keep telling you, dude, Summer’s totally into you! How is it that I see it and you don’t?!”

“…Okay, first off, if Summer was into me, she would’ve said something by now—”

“She’s probably waiting for you to make the first move.”

“—and second, it’s just dinner with her folks. I could have dinner with your folks, and the only different outcome is that I’d wind up with a hangover.”

Jesse hangs his head and heaves an exasperated sigh. He’d been trying to get me to ask Summer out for months, and I let him down at every turn. It’s not that I don’t appreciate his efforts; I just don’t think it’d work out between us. “…Alright. Let me make it easy for you, Richie. Either you tell Summer you’d love to spend Christmas with her family, or I tell her you’re a brony.”

“…You wouldn’t.”

“Wouldn’t I?” I knew that look in Jesse’s eyes. I’d only seen it once or twice before. He was dead serious.

“Jesse, come on—”

“I know, I know, I’ve heard it all before. You don’t have to ask her out. Christmas dinner – that’s all I’m asking.”

I didn’t let it show, but I was honestly touched by the lengths Jesse was willing to go to for me to be happy. “…Just dinner?”

“Just dinner,” he affirms.

Glancing to my right, I see that Summer is almost completely out of my line of sight. I’m gonna hate myself for doing this, but it’s better than the alternative. With a self-assuring deep breath, I walk around the counter and make after Summer in a sort-of power walk. I could just barely hear Jesse saying something to himself; I’m almost certain it was comical and at my expense.

Summer had just barely reached her department when I’d caught up to her. “Summer!”

She stops in her tracks and spins around to meet my gaze. She seemed almost shocked. “Richie? What’s up?”

“About your invite just now… Any chance it’s still good?”

Her face brightens up a little. Not a date…but it’s a start.





Note to self: treat Jesse to dinner at a five-star restaurant of his choosing. This evening couldn’t have gone better than it did.

At first, I thought the sweet smell of my Christmas bonus would put me in enough of a good mood. Boy, was I dead wrong!

So, I show up at Summer’s house at around quarter to seven after getting myself dressed up, right? Well, not ‘dressed up’ in that I wore a suit, but you know, at least I didn’t have a raging bedhead or five o’clock shadow. First thing to happen when I get there is Summer’s dad pulls me into a big ol’ bear hug. Mom’s in the kitchen putting the finishing touches on the ham. Gramps and granny are over by the piano singing Christmas carols. I thought I was on another planet at first, it was so surreal. The whole thing looked like it was lifted wholesale from a Disney movie.

I couldn’t help but wish my own family was like this. That’s not to say we weren’t close or happy, but we certainly didn’t go all out like this around the holidays.

Plus, I had to admit, that definitely was the best apple cobbler I’ve ever had.

But that wasn’t even the highlight of my night. The tides of merriment don’t start to recede until around nine or so, so it’s at about this time that I decide to take my leave before I overstayed my welcome (though I probably could’ve stayed until midnight and Summer’s folks would’ve been okay with it). Summer gives me some leftovers to take home with me (there was no way I would’ve left without a slice of that cobbler for later), and just as I’m heading out the front door…

…she sees me off with a kiss on the cheek.

‘Glad you could stop by, Richie! Merry Christmas!’

If I were a fainting man, I don’t think I’d have made it ten feet past the gate. It was the perfect end to the perfect evening.

At this point in the day, the sun has long since set and the streetlights supply the streets below with an appropriate brightness, illuminating my path home. With each step I take, the snow crunches beneath my feet. With my leftovers tucked under one arm, I cycle through my playlist with a free hand before deciding on a song that suited my high spirits. One of my favorite songs ever. Pretty soon, I was bobbing my head and stepping in time to the rhythm while soundlessly mouthing the lyrics.

Continuing at the pace I was going at, I’d be on my own doorstep in just under twenty minutes. But I sure wasn’t in any rush. Thanks to that kiss, I was on cloud nine.

As my playlist switches to a new song, I couldn’t help but think on Summer’s behavior all night and wonder if there was some truth to Jesse’s words. Was Summer’s invitation out of more than just kindness of the heart? Did she like me in that way and was reaching out to me in the hopes that I would take the initiative? Seemed almost impossible to imagine.

I’m brought out of my music-laden musings when I hear a particularly loud crack under my boot, like I’d just stepped on some glass or something. Glancing downward, I pick up my foot and catch sight of something shiny. Maybe it was glass. I kneel down and clear some of the snow away to reveal…

…What the?

I pick up the strange object to examine it further.

“…A tiara?”

Sure enough, I was now holding a (rather simplistic-looking) tiara in my hand. Stepping on it had caused one of the five jewels adorning it to pop loose. Who would leave a tiara in the middle of the—?

Hmm?

Looking down at where I’d found the tiara on the ground, I squint my eyes to find…footprints. Small circular footprints in the snow, leading into a nearby alleyway. Footprints that, considering the level of fresh snow collected within the depressions, were at least several hours old. Looking closer still, I find strands of some fabric, like cotton or silk, lining the row of prints and also leading into the alley.

‘Curiouser and curiouser’, or so the line goes.

I pick myself up to stand upright and pocket the broken tiara before cautiously stepping into the dim alley. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting to find, but I always found it difficult to turn away from a mystery. My walking pace slows to a step taken every second-and-a-half, my eyes glued to the ground and the only sound being my feet making contact with the snow. Using the light of my phone’s screen for luminescence, I follow the increasingly shallower footprints (in fact, this far in, they start to look like they were left by tiny horseshoes) to the far end of the alley, where they stop in front of a damp cardboard box that’s been turned on its side behind a dumpster.

Was whatever left those footprints inside this box?

…Hold on.

Horseshoes?

And a cardboard box?

I read something like this once, a few months back. That one story with Rainbow Dash in it. Uh… Damn, I forgot what it was called.

No matter. I quickly rationalize in my head what I was experiencing was nothing that extraordinary. Setting the Tupperware down, I grasp the rim of the box with one hand and use the phone in the other to illuminate the inside. Before looking inside, I brace myself to defend myself against anything that might attack me.

Leaning forward and cocking my head to the side…I take a look…

…and my breath seizes in my lungs.

Oh, no way.

I blink.

A coat of pale magenta.

I blink again.

A lavender mane, with white streaks.

I blink a third time.

There’s…just no way.

…Diamond Tiara?
> Chapter 2: Sugar Lump Rump
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Richie’s log. Pony Watch, hour two.

Okay. Calling it this very second: Weirdest. Christmas. Ever.

It’s been two hours since I left Summer’s house. Two hours since I found the filly Diamond Tiara—

Stop. ‘Filly’? What are you thinking? This couldn’t possibly be the real Diamond Tiara. She’s a cartoon character. Some little girl somewhere probably just chucked her stuffed toy in the trash.

…Then again, something had to have left those footprints. They sure weren’t left by sneakers or boots, or cat or dog paws. I saw her chest slowly expand and contract.

…Sweet Celestia, it’s breathing. S-She’s…breathing.

The sleeping filly had nothing to keep her warm but a tattered red and purple scarf and tiny rose-pink boots. Her light magenta coat was bristly and flecked with mud. The same went for her lavender white-streaked mane and tail, which were not only caked in dirt but also tangled messes. She looked an utter wreck.

‘Couldn’t have happened to a nicer filly,’ was my follow-up thought. Didn’t think I’d be blamed for thinking so, but I mentally kicked myself a little for the thought all the same.

Naturally, my next thought was ‘How did she get here?’ For that matter, where did she come from? I thought she was made-up. I thought they were all made-up! Did her being here mean that Equestria was real? That would be a topic of intense forum debate all by itself!

Was she even really lying there? Quickly answered my own question actually, as a sharp pinch to the arm revealed, no, I was most certainly not dreaming.

Before I could stop myself, I was reaching out to her and lightly touching one of her forehooves. A soft (yet at the same time coarse) sensation met my fingertips.

She was real.

And she was freezing!

A few more hours spent out here in the cold, and she’d have likely been hypothermic!

…Should I help her? Pick her up out of the bitter cold and bring her somewhere warm?

I almost told myself to leave her there. Or not so cruelly, bring her to an animal shelter and let her be someone else’s problem. I think I’ve made my opinions on Diamond Tiara pretty clear. I could’ve just walked away. I was precariously close to doing that too.

…But I didn’t. I…couldn’t.

Seeing her there, cold and vulnerable, with no other people (or ponies) around to help her, something inside me…switched on. Like it suddenly went against my very nature to abandon her. Which was weird since I typically took care to avoid strays. Why was Diamond Tiara any different? Because she was what she was? Because she was a pony?

“…Ohhhhhhh…crap.”

Forget it. She was here now. Character opinions be damned. I removed my winter jacket and set it on the ground. Then, taking great care not to wake the sleeping filly, I tenderly picked her up out of the box and set her down on top of the jacket before wrapping her up in it. Hopefully, the jacket’s absorbed enough of my body heat to stop her shivering.

As the cold air hit me, I shivered a little myself. Good thing I decided to dress in layers.

I sensed that she felt the rush of air too, because as soon as it hit us, she squirmed a bit, tucking her legs in more tightly and nestling herself deeper in my jacket. She must’ve been chilled to the bone.

With both Diamond Tiara and my leftovers in tow, I quickly but delicately resumed the trek to my house, all the while thinking,

Guess it’s a good thing I wasn’t out driving tonight.





Hour two and a half. It was nearing midnight.

I’d laid the sleeping Diamond Tiara in my bed and pulled the covers on top of her, up to her shoulders. Since bringing her in from the cold outside, her breathing had eased to that of a soft rhythm. As she slept, I went to the kitchen and prepared some tomato soup for her to have when she woke up, believing at the time she’d be waking up soon. I’d soon realize, however, she was out like a light, probably due to her relocation to a warmer and more comfortable environment.

I situated myself into a chair at her bedside, somehow compelled to stay with her as she dozed. My ‘holy-crap-I-have-a-pony-sleeping-in-my-bed’ mentality came and went pretty quickly. I leaned over and brushed a strand of muddy platinum hair from her face when I noticed faint streaks leading from her eyes and down her cheeks. They were dry, and appeared to blend with her coat tone with a slight discoloration.

…She’d been crying.

Intuitively, I wiped her tear stains away with my thumb and straightened her mane a little more. As I did this, her mouth opened just a bit, and she muttered drowsily,

“D… Daddy…”

My heart sank. In that moment, I forgot I was looking down at a stuck-up brat of a filly and could only see a scared, helpless, little pony that was far from home and missed her family. How long had she been wandering around my town before I found her, I wondered. Several hours? A day? Even longer than that? I reached out and started to pet her gently, stroking her head and mane, as I gave a soft “Shhh… It’s okay. I’m here.” She reacted to this by smiling and exhaling a content sigh through her nostrils. I couldn’t help but be reminded of the times I’d looked after my little sister when we were younger.

I pulled my hand away after a couple minutes of this and leaned back in my chair, taking one last look at Diamond Tiara, before drifting off to sleep myself.





I’m stirred from slumber when a sliver of sunlight shines in through the blinds of my bedroom window and worms its way across my face. With a grumpy moan, I turn away from the glaring light and lift my head up. My eyes slowly adjust to the morning light, and I look over to see Diamond Tiara still sound asleep. I had a crick in my neck and my joints cried in agony.

“Chairs. Go figure,” I groan under my breath as I stretch.

As the sunlight peering through the blinds makes its way onto the bed, it illuminates the filly’s face and she stirs as well. She lets out a soft moan and partly opens her eyes. As soon as the vision of me sitting next to her comes into focus, her eyes shoot fully open. She gasps and starts to fidget wildly under the covers as her eyes dart about the room. Clearly, she’d expected to wake up at home in Ponyville or in the alley I found her in last night.

“Hey, hey, take it easy,” I say to her, failing miserably at calming her down. “It’s okay, I’m not gonna hurt you. You’re safe here.”

Her panicked breathing tickles her throat and she coughs. Finally, she speaks. “W-Where am I?! Who are you?! What are you?!”

An expected reaction. I slowly lower my hands and rest them in my lap. “M-My name’s Richie,” I tell her, briefly stuttering. “You’re in my home. Like I said, you’re safe here.”

She turns toward the window and bolts over to it, shoving the blinds aside with a forehoof. She takes one look outside and is almost immediately discouraged by what she sees. If I were to wager a guess at what she was thinking, I’d say she was hoping she were still in Equestria. “Great,” she angrily mumbles, “so it wasn’t just a dumb dream. …Argh! This is all that stupid Trixie’s fault!”

“What?” I was about to inquire about why she’d mentioned the Great and Powerful Trixie before she continued in a higher volume.

“And now I’m stuck in this filthy house—”

My expression sours. There was the Diamond Tiara I knew and didn’t love.

“—with nothing but my…!” She trails off, frantically pawing at her mane and finding something was missing. “My tiara! W-Where’s my tiara?!”

“Calm down, calm down!” I jump from the chair and to my feet, walking over to a nearby dresser. I pick up the damaged tiara and present it to her. “It’s right here, okay? But it kinda…broke.”

Diamond Tiara gasps in horror to see her precious crown dented and in pieces. She cranes her head up to glare at me.

“…What?”

“You stepped on it, didn’t you?!”

Was I that easy to read? The little filly was more perceptive than I realized. “I-It was an accident!” I squeak. “I’ll get it fixed for you, I promise!”

“Ugh! Don’t bother!” She steps around me and moves toward the door. “I’ll just get Daddy to buy me a new one.”

“Diamo–!” I quickly catch myself, realizing that Diamond Tiara hadn’t yet told me her name. I didn’t know how she’d react to me already knowing it. “Little filly, wait!”

“My name isn’t ‘little filly’!” she calls back, now moving for the front door. “It’s Diamond Tiara!”

Well, that’s one barrier brought down, but she wasn’t making it any easier for me. She stops at the front door and I sigh, relieved that the doorknob was too high for her to reach. Maybe now we could—

A little window near the base of the door swings open, and Diamond Tiara squeezes through (it was a bit of a tight fit) to the outside.

Crap! The cat door the last tenants installed! Why haven’t I nailed that shut?!

In a panic, I throw my jacket on before going after her. By the time I’m out the door, Diamond Tiara’s halfway down the street. “Diamond Tiara, hold on!” I call out to her. She ignores me. I don’t even bother locking up and I jog briskly after her. She wasn’t trotting away at full speed, so -it didn’t take long for me to catch up. Even now, she refused to break her gait. “Diamond Tiara, would you slow down? Where are you going?”

“Ponyville, where else?!” she snaps at me. “Besides, anywhere is better than that dump you call a house!”

My eye twitches. That was strike two. “You don’t even know where Ponyville is.” Especially since it was nowhere on this planet.

“Oh, please. How hard could it be to find?” During her bout of boasting, Diamond Tiara had wandered into the street. The light was red. “Maybe you’re bad with directions, who-or-whatever-you-are, but I’m—”

The startling honk of a Honda jerks Diamond Tiara’s face to the right. She stops dead in her tracks and focuses solely on the red of the oncoming vehicle.

“DIAMOND TIARA!”

My body was on autopilot. My feet shoot me forward and my arms reach out as far as they could manage.

Diamond Tiara froze. Her eyes were as wide as dinner plates.

The driver just kept on honking his horn.

Time seemed to slow down…

“…Watch your dog better, you idiot!” the driver howls at me as he speeds past.

I’d shout something back at him, but I stop myself out of fear of burning Diamond Tiara’s ears with my sailor talk. Besides, I was more concerned about the filly trembling in my arms. I glance down at her and spare not a drop of my anger. “Are you ‘loco in the coco’?! What are you thinking, walking into open traffic like that?!”

Still visibly shaken by her near-death experience, the small pony looks up at me with her big powder-blue eyes. Eyes filled with fear. Fear of nearly being run over. Fear of the terrifying, unfamiliar world that surrounded her. Her lower lip quivers as she struggles to find her voice. “…What is this place…?” she whimpers, fresh tears starting to form where old ones had long since dried.

My own voice fails me. Diamond Tiara clutches my shirt as tightly as she could and buries her muzzle in my chest before the tears could fully take shape. She was beyond terrified; she felt utterly stranded. I turn around and start walking back toward my house. All I could do for the trembling filly was hold her close and rub her back.

Character opinions be doubly damned. Diamond Tiara needed someone, anyone, to help her through this. And as against my better judgment as it seemed…I was okay with being that ‘someone’.





I set Diamond Tiara down on my living room floor and remove my jacket, promptly tossing it onto the couch. Looking down at her, I see her move toward where I’d set aside her scarf and boots. She takes the unraveling scarf into her hooves and seems to mourn its loss. “Oh! Just look at my scarf!” she whines. “It’s ruined! First my tiara, and now this?! What’d I do to deserve this kind of bad luck?!”

I could think of three things, I mentally joke. Before I could laugh at my own inner quip though, I hear the little pony sneeze. “You okay?” I ask out of reflex.

She sniffles. “I’m fine.” She turns to face me and lowers her petite haunches to the floor. “So,” she starts again, “what are you supposed to be anyway? You’ve got to be the weirdest-looking pony I’ve ever seen.”

“That’s ‘cause I’m not a pony,” I explain. “I’m a human.”

“Is ‘human’ another word for ‘freak-a-zoid’? ‘Cause that’s what you look like – a freak-a-zoid. Is everyone else around here a freak-a-zoid like you?”

What is that, her new favorite word or something? “I have a name, you know. It’s Richie.”

“I like ‘freak-a-zoid’ better.”

I heave an exasperated sigh. I never thought I’d regret saving a pony’s life so quickly. I open my eyes again to see that Diamond Tiara has vanished. Before I could call out to her, I feel something suddenly tug at my rear. “Aah!” Looking back, I see the small pony has caught the seat of my pants in her teeth, trying to…pull my pants down? Flustered, I shout at her, “What are you doing?!”

Through her clenched teeth, she states simply, “Looking…to see if you have a…cutie mark.”

Yanking my pants out of her teeth with a hip thrust away, I back off and scowl at her with flushed cheeks. “I don’t have a cutie mark! You could’ve just asked me if I had one before trying to rip my jeans!”

She stomps a hoof on the floorboards. She was obviously more concerned with the fact that I didn’t have a cutie mark than the fact I even knew what a cutie mark was. “Let me get this straight! So the guy who saved me is not only a weirdo and lives in a dump, but he’s also a BLANK FLANK?!? I’ve hit the bad luck jackpot!”

The twitch in my eye was back. Hello, Equestrian customer service? I’d like a refund on this pony. It has an overclocked ‘spoiled brat’ chip.

“Could this day get any wor…?! Wah… Ahh… A-CHOOOO! …Ugh…”

I swiftly fetch a tissue from a jacket pocket, kneel down, and hold it to Diamond Tiara’s nose. “Blow.”

She does as I tell her and blows hard into the tissue, letting out a relieved sigh afterward.

As I pocket the dampened tissue, I finally ask, “Diamond Tiara, how long were you out there before I found you?”

She wipes a forehoof across her nose before answering. “Why do you care?”

“Just tell me.”

She sniffles again. “Um… A little over a day maybe? I’m not sure.”

“No wonder you were so cold when I found you. You might be coming down with something. I’ll heat up some soup for you; you must be starving.” Diamond Tiara was about to say something, likely in protest, when her growling stomach cuts her off and tells me all I needed to hear. I laugh playfully at her blush while flicking dried mud out of her mane. “And after that, how does a warm bath sound?”

The filly puffs up her cheeks – a rather uncharacteristically cute look for her – and faces away. “Hmph! Whatever!”

…One use of the microwave later, I serve Diamond Tiara the tomato soup I’d made for her the previous night, as well as some lightly toasted bread on the side and some juice. I seat myself across from her as she helps herself to the meal. Watching her enjoy the food, I feel a strange yet warm satisfaction that brings a smile to my face. In spite of how we got to this point in time, it felt good doing something nice for someone like Diamond Tiara. And while she didn’t let it show, she had to feel just the tiniest bit of gratitude for my hospitality. Virtue truly was its own reward.

Glancing upward, Diamond Tiara catches me staring at her. “…What?”

“S-Sorry.” I quickly look away and rub the back of my head in embarrassment.

I hear her scoff. “Weirdo.”

A sigh escapes my lips yet again. This was gonna be harder than I thought. “So…Tiara—”

“Diamond Tiara,” she corrects me.

“I can’t call you ‘Tiara’ for short?”

“Only my friends, my mom, and my daddy get to call me ‘Tiara’. So no.”

“…Anyway…any idea how you ended up here in the first place?”

“Yup.”

…I wait a moment for her to continue, but once I realize she had no intention of doing so, I press further. “Are you gonna tell me?”

“Nope.”

Oh, come on. I’m making an honest effort here. Throw me a bone, would you? She’d mentioned Trixie before; I was rather curious as to how she was involved in all of this. But she stonewalled me at every turn. How was I supposed to help if I had no idea what was going on? As I muse over this, Diamond Tiara rubs the crown of her head, wincing a little as she does so. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing! Leave me alone already!”

Ignoring her this time, I walk around to her backside and comb through her mane with my fingers to examine her head. She’s resistant at first, but I make firm my intent to help. Sure enough, there was a small bump on her head that made her wince in pain when I touched it. “Ooh, yeah, that looks like it hurts,” I comment before moving away. I head over to some kitchen drawers in search of something. “Come on… Where is it, where is it? …Ah, here we go!” Having found what I was looking for, I walk over to the freezer. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Diamond Tiara’s eyes fixated on me, honestly curious as to what I was doing. I walk back over to her with an ice pack in hand. “Here.”

Before I could press the pack against her bump, however, she reaches up and slaps it out of my hand. “Knock it off!” she cries as the ice pack hits the floor. “What’s your deal?! Why are you being so nice to someone you barely know?!”

“I’m trying to help you. You were hungry and cold, so I gave you soup. You have a bump on your head, so I’m putting an ice pack on it. I just want you to feel better while you’re here.”

“I didn’t ask for your help!”

“You didn’t need to!”

Diamond Tiara’s expression was one of…genuine surprise. She probably wasn’t used to people (or ponies) outside her immediate family showing her kindness, reaching out to her in friendship.

“I’m not taking care of you expecting something in return. I’m doing it ‘cause you’re in trouble, and I want to help you through it. That’s just how I was raised to treat others.” I’d imagine Diamond Tiara’s silence was due to my values, morals, and overall world views being in such direct opposition to her own. Kneeling down, I pick up the dropped ice pack and gently press it to the bump on her head. Then I walk around and sit down across from her again so she can look me in the eye. “Listen, Diamond Tiara. It’s clear you don’t like me very much – matter of fact, I’d be hard-pressed to find anything you do like – but I’m not gonna just leave you alone to fend for yourself. So until I can figure out where your home is or someone comes for you, you can…stay here with me if you want.”

She twists her face in revulsion at my generous offer. “You kidding?! I’m not shacking up with a loser like you! I’d rather take my chances out there!”

I let a little of my snarkiness bleed through to the surface. “Right, ‘cause you looked like you were faring so well before I found you, shivering and almost frostbitten.”

Diamond Tiara instantly clams up. No doubt we were both thinking the same thing then: if I hadn’t found her, who knows what would’ve happened to her? She probably wouldn’t even be alive. Or someone else would’ve found her before I did. Someone not as generous as I was currently being.

“…You finished eating?”

She gives a short but firm nod.

“Was it good?”

“…Mm-hmm.”

“What do you say?”

She growls. I know it was kinda mean, but I just couldn’t resist. “…Thrrnk yrm.”

I place a dramatic palm just behind my ear and lean toward her. “Sorry? Didn’t catch that.”

“Uggghhh. Thank you.”

I smile warmly at her, having had my fun. “You’re welcome. Now come on. Bathroom’s this way.”





I’d spent perhaps a good two hours cleaning and grooming Diamond Tiara; turned out a lot more dirt and gravel had collected within her coat, mane, and tail than just what was on the surface. A little more than half of that time was spent washing the dirt out, shampooing, rinsing, and drying her off, and the rest was spent brushing her coat and untangling her rat’s nest of a mane. She’d twitched a little here and there, but all in all, she was surprisingly cooperative. (I noticed the longer it had taken to clean her, the more relaxed she became. She loved being groomed, it seemed.)

Once again, I found myself hearkening back to my junior high days, when I brushed and styled my little sister’s hair for her when she was in elementary school. It was an activity I griped about at first, but (after some helpful tips from Mom) gradually came to enjoy. It’s part of why my sister and I were so close to begin with…and why she cried the most over my decision to leave home.

…I made a mental note to call Paige later that day.

Anyway, the more I combed out Diamond Tiara’s smoothed mane and tail, the more they took on their distinctive curl, like that was their natural shape. Her bright pink coat had taken on a soft luster that reflected off the wall and floor tiles. She was looking (and feeling) like her old self again, even if she felt a little naked without her prized tiara. Speaking of tiaras… As I smoothed down the fine hairs of her coat, my eyes at last land upon her cutie mark: a seven-pointed tiara, with a diamond perched atop each of five of those seven points.

I would’ve liked to hear the true story of how she got it.

We leave the steamy bathroom at around quarter to eleven and welcome the cool air permeating the rest of the house. I lead her to a familiar door on the opposite end of the hallway and open the way for her into my bedroom. She enters first. “I figured you must still be tired,” I say to her, “so if you want, you can go ahead and take a nap while I wash up.”

I see Diamond Tiara look around my room, appraising it with her eyes. Admittedly, I didn’t have much in the way of personal effects; just a few posters and bookshelves (which, incidentally, held up very few books for the time being). In the far corner of the room are two stacked boxes of various things I had yet to unpack. My desktop computer is set up next to them. A closet near the bed yields all my clothes and shoes. She sneers, disappointed by the utter plainness of it all. “I guess it’ll have to do until I go back home.” She turns to me then. “You are gonna help me get home, right?”

I pocket my hands, unsure how to answer. I certainly didn’t want to keep her here any longer than she had to be. But I also didn’t want to give her cause for anxiety. I throw on a half-smile and tell her, “Depends. You gonna tell me how you got here? And who this ‘Trixie’ is?”

She tenses up at my ultimatum, but settles down before long. “…I wanna take a nap first.” Saying nothing else, she yawns as she makes her way over to my bed.

…Ah! An idea comes to me. As she climbs onto the bedspread, I approach the boxes in the corner, open one up, and rifle through its contents. She was a filly; maybe she’d like it. Upon finding the item I was searching for, I make my way over to Diamond Tiara and present her with an old teddy bear that my dad convinced me to hold onto. When I was packing up my stuff for the move, I almost threw it out, but he refused to let me and made me promise to hang onto it. Wouldn’t tell me why, but there was ultimately always a method to my dad’s madness.

Diamond Tiara takes one look at the stuffed toy, grabs it in her teeth, and flings it at the wall. “A teddy bear?! Seriously?! Teddy bears are for babies!”

With a shrug, I pick the toy back up, dust it off, and sit it upright on the shelf; didn’t have the heart to put it back in storage. “Well, have a nice nap anyways,” I say to her finally, moving out the door and closing it shut behind me.

I linger at the door a few moments longer, leaning back against it.

Okay. Let’s recap. Pony from another world appears in mine – check. I find her lying in a gutter and take her home with me – check. Clean her, feed her, the whole nine yards – check. Sing random song out of nowhere – inadvisable but under consideration. I suppose this is the part where I try and figure out how she got here (if she decides she’s gonna keep me in the dark about it) and/or how I’m gonna get her back home to Equestria. Because, you know, that’s just the easiest freakin’ thing in the world to do.

“RICHIE!!! I WANT A GLASS OF WATER!!!”

…Oh, look. She remembers my name. This ought to be fun.
> Chapter 3: Settling In
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

…What on Earth have I gotten myself into?

If anyone ever told me that taking care of a little filly (basically the equivalent of an eight- to nine-year-old human child) would be easy, I’d either tell them to go buck themselves or give them Diamond Tiara for a few hours and see what happens.

Then again, I am dealing with the proverbial ‘problem child’ of Ponyville, so I guess I should’ve expected this. I could only imagine how much of a burden she was to her parents. But then, maybe the safety cushion of immense wealth softened the blow.

Having grown up eating mostly gourmet Equestrian meals, she always had something to say about the food I served her. Were the fruits fresh? Were the vegetables grown organically? This was ‘too hot’, that was ‘too cold’. But my personal favorite was this little gem:

“This looks like something a Diamond Dog barfed up!”

Granted, I was far from being the best cook or baker, but I knew enough about cooking to get by; my ego was a bit bruised after that one. I tried giving her the old ‘if-you-don’t-like-it-you-can-just-go-hungry’ line my parents fed me when I was her age, but that was met with a…mixed reception. I decided to be less roundabout and simply asked her what she liked to eat. After a bit of dancing around her words to spite me further, she eventually revealed that she liked apples. Not at all surprising, I thought, given her family’s business ties to Applejack’s.

Apples…

I served her a slice of the apple cobbler Summer’s mom had made. Her eyes lit up and her cheeks flushed at the first spoonful. I wondered if it was the best apple cobbler she’d ever tasted. It sure was for me.

“…Not bad.”

Anyway, if it wasn’t my cooking skills Diamond Tiara critiqued, it was my taste in clothes. She’d pointed out how I didn’t have any high-end or designer outfits, or even anything for her to wear. Once again, I’d mentioned how I was a human and not a pony, and that, as a male of my species, I didn’t own any dresses. This would be the first of many times throughout the day she’d demand I took her shopping. I regretfully told her that doing so was a bad idea, glossing over the specifics of the consequences such an idea would have. Of course she whined over this too, but I couldn’t help but think: depending on how long I’d be taking care of her, I didn’t want to keep her cooped up inside the whole time. I’d decided I wanted to arrange some outings for us where she could get some fresh air without being seen. Just another thing to add to my ever-expanding to-do list.

Even now, she was tight-lipped about how she came to arrive in my world. What reason could she have had for keeping it a secret?





After an absolute headache-inducing afternoon, I prepare a small dinner for myself and Diamond Tiara. She’d worn herself out wailing at me all day, and was now resting in my bedroom (at least one of us was getting their beauty sleep). I approach my closed bedroom door with a plate of food for her: pasta, salad, lightly buttered bread, and a piece of apple cobbler for dessert.

I bring my hand up to rap quietly on the door. “Diamond Tiara?” I call out. “Are you awake?” No reply. Either she was still asleep, or she was wide awake and ignoring me out of spite. I assume the latter and let myself in. What I find inside nearly causes me to ‘d’awww’ like a giggly pegasister. The filly was curled up on top of the bed sheets, fast asleep, her chest rising and falling with each calm breath. I couldn’t hold back a smile at this.

Diamond Tiara: bratty when awake, adorable when sleeping. Who knew?

I set the food down on the dresser and sit on the bed beside her, being careful not to wake her by accident. I reach a hand over and start stroking her mane. It was soft as silk, and she looked so peaceful; it was like who she was when she was awake and who she was when she slept were two completely different ponies. I could put up with ‘Awake Diamond Tiara’, but I wanted to get to know ‘Sleeping Diamond Tiara’ better.

There were fresh tear stains under her eyes. She’d been crying again.

Poor thing. So far from home, with neither of us having any idea how to get her back there and me wondering if those looking for her had any idea where she was. My heart goes out to her. Why was it she only let herself be sympathetic and vulnerable when she was alone?

I look to the window. Ugh. Snowing again? Thanks for nothing, Mother Nature. Like I don’t feel like crap enough.





I take my cell phone out of my pocket. I’ve put this off for long enough, I think. I quickly dial a number and press the phone to my ear.

“Come on, pick up… Pick up…”

The ringing on the other end torments me, slowing my heart rate and adding to the anxiety I was already experiencing. I didn’t really want to do this, but fate’s forced my hand.

“…Jesse! Glad I caught you!”

Jesse sounded pretty pleased to hear from me. He wanted to know how my ‘dinner date’ with Summer had gone.

“It went great – I never should’ve doubted you, man – but that’s not why I called. Listen, are you on your way to work?”

He replied in the affirmative.

“Okay, good. I need you to do me a huge favor. Hugest favor ever.”

His tone had gone cynical.

“No, I’m not in a holding cell, and I don’t need bail money.”

He continued in an odd blend of cynical and apprehensive.

“No, I’m not about to ask you to do anything illegal. Would you just listen?”

Another joke and a short laugh on the other end of the line fuel my unease.

“Jesse, please! This is important!”

He immediately stops.

“Something’s come up, and I won’t be able to come in to work for a while; I don’t know exactly how long. Could you cover my shift today? Actually…for the next few days?”

He was annoyed. I expected that.

“I-I know, I know, I didn’t mean to drop this on you so suddenly, but it just kinda…came out of nowhere.”

He presses me for details.

“I…can’t really get into it right now, sorry. Just trust me when I say it’s really important and it’ll likely keep me busy for a while.”

Silence.

“…Jesse? Hello?”

More silence. And then…he asks how much time I need.

“Like I said, just a few days, a week tops. …Please.”

…He finally agrees. I sigh in relief. What’d I tell you? ‘Bro of bros’.

“Thanks, man. I owe you big time. I’m serious, this means a lot. And I promise I’ll explain everything when all’s said and done. …Also, the next time you see Summer, could you tell her I said thanks for the apple cobbler? …Great. Thanks again, man. You’re the best. Later.” I press ‘End Call’, and my arms fall to my sides. It had been such a long day. It was only a short while after sundown, but given how exhausted I’d felt, it might as well have been two in the morning. With Diamond Tiara asleep on my bed, I enter the extra bedroom and collapse onto the simple bed face-down. I look out the window briefly. Still snowing. Just great.





“…You’re going out?”

It was the following morning. Diamond Tiara and I are standing by my front door; I’m bundled up in winter gear, preparing to leave the house for a bit. If not for the reason I was about to give her, I wouldn’t have left her by herself. I kneel down so she could meet my gaze more easily. “It’s only for a little while,” I assure her. I felt like a father telling his daughter not to cry over her daddy leaving her alone. “There are some things I need to pick up, like my dry cleaning and fresh groceries.”

“How come you get to go out and I have to stay here?!”

“I told you, it’s too risky for you to go out right now, especially on your own.”

“Why? Is it dangerous or something?”

“For you…something like that. Besides, you remember what almost happened yesterday. Your parents would kill me if I let something bad happen to you.” She lowers her head in both disappointment and shame. I grasp her chin gently and pick her head up so she’d meet my eyes again. “I promise, once I make sure it’s safe for you, we’ll go out and do something. Okay?”

She pulls away and frowns. “Fine. But what am I supposed to do while you’re gone?”

“I left some food out in the kitchen if you get hungry, and…uh… Oh! Here!” I stand up from kneeling and move toward the television, turning it on. “You can watch some TV.”

“What’s ‘TV’?” she asks.

“Uh, well… You have movies in Ponyville, right?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, it’s like that, but it’s on 24/7. And every thirty minutes to two hours, something different shows.”

“Like what?”

“Oh, lots of things! Action shows, adventure shows, comedies, fantasies, dramas – anything you can think of. What kind of movies do you like?”

She ponders for a moment before answering. “I like romance stories.”

I grin. “Then I’ve got just the thing!” With remote in hand, I cycle through the channels until I reach the Disney Channel. As luck would have it, a number of classic movies were airing back to back, no doubt as part of some holiday/end-of-year tie-in. And one in particular was just starting, though we’d missed most of the opening dialogue.

“—As the years passed, he fell into despair and lost all hope…for who could ever learn to love a beast?”

Want a great romance story? Look no further than this one. Diamond Tiara had already moved over to the couch, her eyes glued to the TV screen as the first musical number starts up. I chuckle lightly to myself and grab my keys and head out the front door. Too easy.

Once outside, my hood pulled up to ward off falling snowflakes, I make my way over to my car and double-check to see if I have everything. Wallet. House keys. Car keys. Cell phone. Grocery list. Dry cleaning ticket. Wait, where’s…? I check an inner coat pocket, and something pointy pokes the palm of my hand. There it is. Good. Not even the snow could dampen my mood today. I was a man on a mission.





I return home a little over an hour and a half later, groceries and dry cleaning in hand. As I enter through the front door, I spy Diamond Tiara over on the couch, captivated by the movie playing on TV, which I see is just about over.

Seeing me enter, she quickly wipes away her tears – tears that, I presumed, were due to the ending – and gives me her signature scowl. “Took you long enough,” is the first thing she says to me as I arrive.

True, I had more on my agenda than just what I told her before leaving, but it was only an hour and a half. Surely, with her attentions directed at the TV screen, the time just flew by. But I didn’t want her angrier with me before I had a chance to spring my surprise on her. “Sorry,” I tell her. “My errands took a little longer than I thought.”

“Whatever. Movie’s over anyway.”

“Did you like it?”

She tries desperately to hide the fact that she loved every minute of it. “It was alright.”

Her attempts at being aloof were just too adorable. If Paige were here, she’d take Diamond Tiara into her arms and never let go. I glance at the clock. It was nearing lunchtime. “You hungry?”

“Mm-hmm.”

I power off the TV as she makes her way into the kitchen. I pick my head up to look at her when I hear her humming faintly to herself. I recognized the melody right away as one of the movie’s many catchy songs. My mind was at war with itself. Dammit, universe, you aren’t playing fair! A few days ago, I hated this filly, and now she’s just too cute to hate!

I hang up my dry cleaning to sort through later and join Diamond Tiara in the kitchen, preparing a small lunch for us using my recently acquired groceries. I’d spent more money that day than I planned to, but my Christmas bonus provided me with a bit of a safety net until I returned to work. I hope Jesse isn’t too upset.

“…Someone came by while you were out,” says the rose-coated filly between nibbles.

My head shoots up at her. “What?” My voice was shaky.

“There was a knock at the door. I hid behind the couch before they could see me through the window.”

I sigh, relieved. That was pretty quick thinking on her part. I can’t believe I didn’t account for people stopping by while I was out of the house. “Did you see who it was?”

“Only as they were walking away. It was a girl. Blond hair, tall, kinda scrawny-looking.”

I knew in an instant. Summer was here? Jesse must’ve told her I was taking some time off and she came by looking for me. I nearly kick myself for not being here to greet her. But her finding I wasn’t home was preferable to having her discover Diamond Tiara. I was thankful for that, but I didn’t want Summer to think I was deliberately avoiding her. At my earliest convenience, I would give her a call later on.

“Was that your marefriend?”

I nearly choke on my food and cough violently at her implication, knowing full well that ponies used the term ‘marefriend’ in the same context in which one would say ‘girlfriend’. “S-She’s not…! W-We’re not…!” I stammer uncontrollably.

Diamond Tiara has a laugh at my expense. “You totally are, aren’t you? It’s written all over your face!”

I chug a bit of juice so I can breathe easier. “W-We’re really not, actually. Summer’s just…a really close friend.” I cringe inwardly at my utterance of the word ‘friend’. Heaven knows how I wanted for us to be much more.

“Hah. Sure she is. And Prince Blueblood’s my uncle.”

I didn’t want to dwell on this further. “Alright, enough about my love life, okay?  What about you, huh? I thought you were gonna tell me how you wound up here.”

“Hmm… Nah. Don’t feel like it anymore, blank flank.” Having finished her lunch, she eyes the slice of apple cobbler I’d set aside for her, licking her lips greedily. She reaches out with her hooves…before I yank the plate away from her. “Hey!”

With a smirk, I counter, “Well, maybe I don’t feel like giving you any dessert.”

“That’s not fair!”

“Tell me what I wanna know, and you can have it.” I almost felt dirty using Summer’s kind gift to me as a bargaining chip, but if I wanted the information I sought, I had no choice but to stoop to Diamond Tiara’s level.

And as expected, the little pony was none too pleased about it. She had her hooves on the kitchen counter, grinding her teeth and ready to buck me in the face. All I do is smirk as I withhold her dessert. “Argh! Fine!” She leans back in her chair in a huff, crossing her forelegs across her chest. “…It was Hearth’s Warming Eve. Mom, Dad, and I had tickets to the pageant in Canterlot and were on our way to catch the train. But there was a commotion in the Ponyville town square. Apparently, that windbag Trixie – this traveling unicorn magician – was back in town and putting on a magic show to ‘make amends for past transgressions’ or something like that.”

I remembered well the Great and Powerful Trixie’s first appearance on the show. Her performance, however impressive it was, was spoiled by her pompousness and constant boasting, and she’d left the ponies of Ponyville on less than friendly terms.

“She needed a volunteer for some stupid vanishing act, and my dad hoisted me up over the crowd so Trixie could see me. I told him I didn’t want to, but he was insistent. So I go up on stage, Trixie does her showmare shtick – ‘what’s your name?’, ‘we haven’t met before today, right?’, blah-blah-blah – and drapes a big velvet cloth over me. I hear Trixie say the magic words, and there’s some kind of popping sound, and then…nothing.”

“What do you mean ‘nothing’?”

“Exactly what it sounds like: nothing. I couldn’t hear Trixie anymore. I couldn’t hear the crowd of ponies. I couldn’t hear anything.”

“…What happened?”

“I have no idea. When I pulled the cloth off of me, I wasn’t in Ponyville anymore. I was in some park, surrounded by trees. Trixie, Mom, and Dad – they were all gone. …I was alone. I thought it was part of the magic trick, so I got under the cloth again, hoping the next time I pulled it off, I’d be back in Ponyville, onstage next to Trixie. …But nothing happened. For nearly an hour, nothing happened at all. I was still there, in that park. I called out for my dad, but he didn’t call back to me. I called out again. Still nothing. Then I started hearing voices. I thought it was other ponies at first, but when I saw they weren’t – that they were ‘humans’ – I ran away from them. And everything around me was so different! Giant carriages that weren’t horse-drawn! Buildings that looked like they touched the sky! And the ponies that lived here – they all walked on two legs instead of four! They were so weird-looking! So…! So…!”

“…Scary?”

“…If I wasn’t running for my life, I was hiding in the dark somewhere.” Diamond Tiara hangs her head, and I hear her starting to sob. “…I was so scared. I kept wishing it was all just a really bad dream. I just wanted my mom and dad.”

Once again, my body was moving of its own accord. I rise out of my seat and walk around to Diamond Tiara’s side to comfort her. She takes notice of me there and dives forward into my arms, wrapping her stubby forelegs as far around my torso as she could. “I want my mom and dad! I want to go home!” she cries, her voice somewhat muffled by my shirt.

With the sobbing filly in my arms, I fall to my knees and hold her close, not caring in the slightest that my shirt was getting soaked with tears. It had finally sunken in: here, in this world, I was all Diamond Tiara had. In a world of countless unknowns, I was the only person she could depend on for warmth and support. Here…I was her only friend.

I wait for her crying to die down before attempting to speak, holding her even now. “…Diamond Tiara,” I start in a whisper, “I said I’d try and help you get home, and I will. I… I don’t want to lie to you and say I’ll get you there for sure, but I’m gonna try my best, okay? Until then…you can stay here as long as you want.”

She pulls away from the embrace to look up at me, tears still falling from her eyes. She sniffles. “R-Really? Even though I’ve…been so mean to you…?”

I brush her bangs away and kiss her lightly on the forehead. “Yes, even though you’re a big pain in the rump, I’m still gonna look after you. I found you in the streets and took you home, so that makes you my responsibility. Is that okay with you…‘Tiara’?”

She doesn’t protest my calling her by her nickname this time, and gives a smile, probably her first sincere smile since she’s been here. “Okay…you weirdo.” She snuggles up to me again, now more trusting of me than before.

My smile remains for a few more moments…before it leaves my face. I felt like having a cry myself. I now knew how she arrived in my world – it was magic (big surprise there) – but what difference did it make? Diamond Tiara was counting on me to get her home, and I had absolutely no idea how I was going to do it.

My gaze moves for the window again. Still snowing. It was supposed to clear up by the next day. “…Hey.”

Diamond Tiara pulls away from me a second time. “What?”

“Do you like snow, by any chance?” I ask her out of nowhere.

Predictably, she cocks her head to the side, confused by my unexpected question. “Sure, why?”

“…You’ll see.”
> Chapter 4: A Leopard and Her Spots
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Snow. How I dislike it. The way it makes it impossible to see as it falls. The way it makes it difficult to walk through when there’s a lot of it. The way it somehow always makes its way into whatever you’re wearing on your feet, leaving you with cold, wet socks. Pretty to look at, but an inconvenience (to me at least) all the same.

But if Tiara likes it…I guess I can put up with it. Couldn’t be as bad as her, right?

Just as I’d hoped, the snow had stopped falling earlier this morning, leaving everything in a thin layer of cold, white fluff. I’m dressed in my typical winter clothes, while Tiara wears her fuchsia snow boots and an old but in-good-condition scarf I had lying around. I didn’t have any filly-sized coats for her, but if she’s around long enough for me to buy her one…

‘If she’s around long enough’? You make it sound like she’s gonna be here forever. You know that’s not true.

Right. I did know. One of these days, she’ll go back to Equestria. She’ll have to. All I can do is look after her and keep her comfortable until then. But…if she did stay…that wouldn’t really be a bad thing, would it?

I’d taken her out to a park close by. (She was apprehensive about getting into my car at first, but once I assured her it was safe, she settled down.) It was still fairly early out, so only about two or three other people were there, and I doubt they even noticed us. Even if they did, the snow would’ve made it hard to recognize Tiara as a pony and not a dog of some kind.

Tiara smiles the entire time we’re outside. She breathes in the cool, fresh air like she’d breathed nothing but stale, musty air for years. The first thing she does when we get out to the center of the snow-covered field is fall back onto the ground and make snow angels, giggling happily all the while. I had with me my digital camera to take pictures of the cheerful little pony.

“Okay, Tiara! Big smile!”

This was the Diamond Tiara I would’ve loved to see more of in the show: happy, carefree, and acting more like the young pony she was.

While much of the morning is simply spent watching her as she enjoyed herself, I find myself joining in soon enough – against my better judgment. We make a snowman (Tiara commented on how it clearly looked nothing like an actual man), and I help her make a snowpony, with rocks for eyes and a warped tree branch for a tail.

As I step away from the two snow-made constructs to appraise our work, something cold hits the back of my head. I spin around to face my assailant, the icy water dripping down my back. There stands Tiara, holding a snowball in one of her hooves, a malicious grin stretched across her muzzle.

I give a grin of my own. So, it’s come to this, has it?

I leap behind the snowman for cover, shaping some snow in my hands into a sphere. I shoot out from behind the snowman, ready to open fire…but Tiara’s vanished. Suddenly, an attack from the east just barely misses my face. I turn to the pink-coated filly and hurl the snowball in my hand at her. She dodges it easily and flanks to my south side. I compensate for this and throw snowball after snowball at her. She gallops around my volley and dives behind a tree. I had her now! I take a large lump of snow into my hands and shape it into a ball while approaching the tree. My footsteps through the snow give me away, but should she have elected to run or jump out into the open, I’d be ready. Once I was close enough to the tree to rest my hand on its trunk, I jump around to its other side with snowball at the ready. What the?! Once again, Tiara’s disappeared. How did she keep doing that?

“Gotcha!” a voice above me cries out.

My head involuntarily shoots up, and I get a face full of white frost. The attack from above knocks me off balance, and I fall over face-up onto the ground. Tiara gloats from atop a tree branch. I clench a dramatic fist at the empty air. “I’M HIT! MAN DOWN, MAN DOWN! SEND BACKUP!”

Tiara laughs heartily and pokes fun at my theatrics. “You are such a goofball!”

I couldn’t believe what I was doing. I hadn’t played in the snow for almost a decade; it was like I was a little kid again. Almost every fiber of my being tells me to get up, bring Tiara home, and stop acting so immature. But seeing Tiara smiling and laughing like that… My inner child smiled and laughed along with her. She was having fun. I was having fun.

I didn’t want it to end.





I wait until it’s fairly late into the evening, after the sun’s gone down and I’ve given Tiara her dinner and bath. She sits with her back to me and stares into a mirror with a thin smile.

As I’m combing her lush lavender and white mane, I briefly eye the small bag situated by my feet. Seeing her reflection in the mirror, I see her eyeing the bag as well. I set the comb down to address her. “Hey. Can you close your eyes for a second?”

She turns her head slightly and looks up at me. “Why?”

“It’s a surprise.”

Reluctant but curious, she faces forward and closes her eyes. I reach into the bag, looking over every few seconds to make sure she isn’t— “Hey! No peeking!”

She giggles softly and covers her eyes with her hooves. She twitches a little while I straighten her mane, and she feels something cool and metallic slide onto her head.

“…Okay. You can look now.”

Tiara slowly pulls her hooves away to look at her reflection, instantly spying a familiar trinket adorning her head. She gasps, and her face lights up in an ecstatic beam. “My tiara!” she cries. “You got it fixed!”

“Didn’t I tell you I would? After all, I did break it in the first place, so—” I’m cut off when a pair of tiny legs suddenly wraps around my neck. Tiara was holding me and nuzzling my cheek.

“Thank you, Richie! Thank you so much!”

I reach up and hug her right back. “…You’re welcome, Tiara.”





“…And then they got up on stage in these hilarious getups and did this even more hilarious song-and-dance routine! It was the most ridiculous thing I’d ever seen in my life!”

Tiara and I were on the couch enjoying some hot cocoa when we’d stricken up a conversation about her growing up in Ponyville. (She seemed a lot surer of herself and more open since getting her cherished tiara back.) Almost every story she told was about other ponies she knew around town and the amusing antics they’d get into. In fact, almost all of them centered around a trio of fillies who called themselves the ‘Cutie Mark Crusaders’ – Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo. Naturally, as a die-hard fan of ‘Friendship is Magic’, I was familiar with the three and their various misadventures, but I nevertheless indulged Tiara, letting her tell the stories she wanted to tell.

Gradually, the conversation steers toward her friends and family in Ponyville. She had nothing but nice things to say about her family of course, the ‘daddy’s girl’ that she was, but she’d also mentioned how everypony in her class loved and worshipped her.

“Of course I’m the most popular pony at my school! Everypony adores me ‘cause I’m so nice, rich, and beautiful! Especially my best friend Silver Spoon! We do everything together!”

While I didn’t doubt that last part about Silver Spoon, I knew there wasn’t even a sliver of truth in the rest of what she’d just said. I don’t think there’s a brony alive who doesn’t know how much of a jerk Tiara is to her classmates. But could I call her out on it? Not without revealing the show’s existence to her. I didn’t want to think about how she’d take that kind of news.

I take a sip of hot cocoa and it warms me. “So,” I start again, “what about your cutie mark?”

“Huh?” She sounds surprised by my sudden inquiry.

“Your cutie mark. How’d you get it?”

She looks away. “It’s… It’s not important.”

“…Tiara?” She goes silent. “If…you don’t want to talk about it—”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she answers, her tone a bit abrasive.

I reach my hand out to her and affectionately rub her ear. Her tail sways back and forth on the couch as I do so. I don’t press the issue any further. She’ll tell me if and when she’s ready.





December 31st. New Year’s Eve. Practically a week since Diamond Tiara came into my life. Probably one of the best weeks I’ve ever had in my life (if not the absolute best). She’d been tough to deal with at first, but once the ice broke, she warmed up to me. Even more so the other way around; she’d really grown on me over the course of the past few days.

Would I have preferred to end up looking after one of the ‘Mane Six’? Pinkie Pie? Rarity? Or even the lesser of the show’s two bratty evils, Silver Spoon? Maybe. But then I wouldn’t have gotten to know a filly that, it turns out, I knew so little about. A filly that, a week ago, I wouldn’t have given a second thought to if she were suddenly dropped from the show altogether. I wouldn’t change a second that we’ve shared.

Of course, there was still the matter of getting her home. A problem that not even the almighty Google could solve. But really, did I expect to find any results? Magic brought her to me, and only magic would bring her back to Equestria. And magic – real magic – was something that my world was in very short supply of. That is to say, zero supply.

It’s been a week now. Was anypony even still looking for her? If there were, shouldn’t they have appeared by now? Or were there dozens, possibly hundreds, of other worlds that they still had to check before moving on to mine?

How long would I have had to take care of Diamond Tiara? A few months? A few years? For the rest of my life (or hers)?

The more I thought about it…the more I was okay with it. Rather, the more I welcomed the idea.

It meant that I didn’t have to keep her presence such a well-kept secret. I could start small. Introduce her to my friends, my family. Paige would love her. I could give her that other bedroom I have, fix it up so she’d feel more at home. So she’d feel like…this was her home.

…Home.

I’m getting ahead of myself. I could fantasize about it as much as I want, but right now that’s all it is: a fantasy. Nothing’s for certain.

I push thoughts of living with Tiara out of my mind. I have far more important things to think about. Like tonight, for instance. It was, after all, New Year’s Eve.

“…Where are we going?”

Tiara asks me this as we get into my car at around quarter to midnight. I turn the key in the ignition and tell her with cryptically and with a smile, “You’ll see.”

For a little over ten minutes, we drive down the road before we reach our destination: a sprawling field of grass with a rolling hillside, where a large number of people had already gathered and were conversing among themselves, creating a lively blanket of sound. Rather than have Tiara walk alongside me, I carry her close, her head poking out of my zipped-up jacket. Once again, I rely on the assumption that those who notice her mistake her for a dog, or even a doll.

I find a spot for us to sit near the top of the large hill, a good ten yards from the nearest person. I unzip my jacket so Tiara can stretch her legs, but she doesn’t leave the comfort of my lap. I check the time. Eleven fifty-nine and forty-two seconds.

Tiara glances up at me. “What’s about to happen?”

“Every year when I was little, my parents took Paige and me out to this field to watch.”

“Watch what?”

“Just wait, it’s almost time.” I keep my eyes on the time. “Okay, you ready? TEN!”

The crowd joins in on cue. “NINE! EIGHT! SEVEN!”

Tiara’s eyes dart about aimlessly. “SIX! FIVE! FOUR!”

I project my voice to her over the crowd. “Keep watching the sky!”

“THREE! TWO!! ONE!!!”

At that moment, the crowd of people assembled on the field erupts in a unified shout of,

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!”

Noisemakers clamor, corks pop off of champagne bottles, and fireworks set the sky ablaze in a burst of sound and color. Tiara’s eyes are larger than I’ve ever seen them. They were one of my favorite features about her. Such a vibrant shade of blue.

Summer had those same eyes.

I lean down to kiss her gently on the forehead. “Happy New Year, Diamond Tiara.”

She meets my gaze with a faint blush. “…Happy New Year, goofball.”

We sit there silently, Tiara leaning back against me, as we watch the fireworks dance across the midnight sky and paint it all the colors of the rainbow.





I awaken to the sound of knocking at my door.

Tiara and I had fallen asleep on the couch, having stayed up all night watching cartoons and following a couple of televised year-end parties. We’d celebrated with some Earth-style apple cider.

“Sweet Apple Acres’ cider is better.”

I don’t doubt that.

As the knocking at the door gets progressively louder, I quickly but carefully move Tiara to the bed in my room and close the door behind me. I rub the crud from my eyes before the door; whoever was on the other side might as well have been pounding at this point. Note to self: install peephole. I unlock and open the door to see…

“Dude! There you are!”

…Jesse. My eyes shoot fully open, and my fatigue vanishes in an instant. “J-Jesse,” I stutter as I greet him. “What are you doing here?”

“What am I doing here?! It’s been days, dude! I’ve tried calling you, like, a hundred times! Where’ve you been?!”

I nervously rub the back of my neck. How would Jesse react, I wonder, to the thought of me caring for a filly from an animated television show? “I’ve been…around,” I finally tell him.

“‘Around’, huh?” he retorts, clearly not satisfied by my answer. “Doing what?”

“It’s…complicated.”

“Well, ‘un-complicate’ it for me.” He brushes past me and lets himself inside. I’d have said something, but decided against it so as not to arouse suspicion. “…Smells weird in here.”

“You smell weird.”

“Says the brony whose breath reeks of apple cider. …Seriously, man, you fall off the face of the earth for a week, then I stop by and – boom! – here you are. Have you been here the whole time? ‘Cause Summer said she stopped by and you weren’t here, but she thought someone else was.”

My chest locks up briefly. Was Diamond Tiara not as careful as she or I thought? My mind races to come up with an alibi. “…S-Someone was here.”

“Who?”

“My sister Paige. She got into a thing with my folks and ran away from home. Came up to stay with me for a few days ‘til things blew over.”

“Aw, man. Hate to hear that.” Wow. He actually bought that? “Is she still here?”

“Nah, my mom picked her up last night and they patched things up.”

“Okay, good to hear. So now that that’s over, you’ll be coming back to work? Summer’s been asking about you nonstop, and I can’t cover for you forever.”

As much as I didn’t want to leave Tiara at home by herself, I did have to return to work eventually. I needed to earn some more money now that I blew through most of my bonus. “Yeah. I just need another day or so to, you know, make sure everything’s fine at home.”

Jesse lets out a long sigh; he looked like he’d been holding that one in forever. He must’ve been relieved to not have to cover any more of my shifts. “Oh, thank God. …Alright, we’ll talk later, okay? Take it easy.”

“You too, bro.” He steps out to leave and I lock the door behind him. I heave a sigh of my own and thank the Princesses it was a short visit.

But now I’m presented with yet another problem: the holidays and New Year’s were over. I had to go back to work or else risk losing my job. That meant leaving Tiara at home alone for a few hours each day, even accounting for flex hours.

How do the fanfics make this look so easy?!





…Tiara was antsy. How could she not be?

I’d met with my manager and asked him if my work hours could be spread more evenly across the week so that I could spend less time at work and more time at home, using the old ‘trouble at home’ excuse. I assured him it would only be temporary. He was hesitant, but soon relented, off-handedly mentioning I was one of his best employees. Great. Now I’ve lied not only to my best friend, but also to my boss.

What’s more, I had to explain to Tiara that I had to return to work and couldn’t spend as much time with her as I have over the past week. She understood, of course, realizing the importance of having a paying job. But over the past two days, I’ve started noticing changes in her behavior. She’d become less conversational, talking less and less about Ponyville and the cartoons she’d come to like, and asking me more frequently about my attempts to get her home. Each time I could only give her a bare bones answer, and each time she’d walk off in a huff. I could tell. As she’d spent increasingly more time indoors by herself, she missed home that much more. Her patience was wearing thin.

It finally comes to a head when she confronts me while I’m surfing the internet for answers I knew I’d never find. “I’ve been here for over a week now!” she yells at me, as if I didn’t already know that. “You said you’d figure out how to get me home, but you haven’t done anything!”

Once again, I find myself backed into a corner. “Hey, cut me some slack. I don’t have much to go on here; I have no idea how magic even works. I’m doing the best with what I’ve got.”

That wasn’t the answer she was seeking. She shakes an accusing hoof at me. “Well, your ‘best’ isn’t good enough! I bet I’d have been home by now if I didn’t have to rely on you!”

“Hey, come on.” I wasn’t sure what was causing it, but she seemed to be regressing to her old self. The ‘Diamond Tiara’ I’d met a week back. The ‘Diamond Tiara’ I hated. “What’s wrong, Tiara? Why are you acting like this all of a sudden?”

“What do you mean, ‘all of a sudden’? This is how I always act!”

“No, it’s not,” I assert. “You’ve changed since I found you. You became kind and friendly. You were happy, weren’t you? The park, the snowball fight, the fireworks – wasn’t all that fun?”

“Oh, please! Like you’d know what fun is! That was all baby stuff! I guess that makes you a baby then, doesn’t it? Hah!”

“Hey!” I push my swivel chair away as I stand. “Seriously, what is your problem?! A few days of acting nice, and now you’re back to being a stuck-up jerk?! Is that all it was – an act?! Was none of it real?! Or were you just getting on my good side so I’d get you home that much faster?! I thought we were friends!”

“Hmph!” She flicks her mane to the side and snobbishly points her muzzle skyward. “Like I’d actually be friends with a stupid…”

Don’t.

“…Useless…”

Don’t do it.

“…BLANK FLANK like you!”

Her words bite into me with each stressed syllable. All I’d done in the hopes of bringing us closer, undone by a few choice insults. My stomach lurches. Did the past week truly mean nothing to her at all? Did I mean nothing to her at all? Or did I just fool myself into thinking she’d change? That in some minuscule way I’d affect her? If so, then why? Why pretend?

Because she’s an evil little filly who’s fundamentally incapable of change.

Her smiles were genuine. Her laughs were genuine. Her thank-you’s were genuine.

Fake. It was all fake.

What about her tears? Did she lie about wanting her parents? About wanting to go back home?

Probably so she didn’t have to look at your ugly, gullible face.

She’s my friend.

You hate her. You’ve always hated her.

I close myself off from the world around me and growl through gritted teeth. “…Get out.”
> Chapter 5: Can We Start Over?
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tiara—

Diamond Tiara…left. Walked right out my front door. I didn’t stop her. I didn’t even go after her. For a second there, I might have, but…my bitterness stopped me.

No matter how much I try not to, I keep thinking back to that moment. Diamond Tiara snapped at me. Or, I guess, we snapped at each other. I just couldn’t understand why. Things had been going so well. And with just a few harsh words, I was back to square one. She was off Celestia-knows-where doing Celestia-knows-what, and I was back to living by myself in a two-bedroom home. And the world spins ever onward.

Whatever. If she doesn’t need me, I don’t need her. I’ve gotten by on my own for this long.

…Then why do I feel so damn lonely?

I go to work the next day, just as I’ve done before. I think Summer said hi to me as I passed her, but I could barely acknowledge the world around me, let alone her sunny face. I have the thinnest of smiles on my face as I ring customers’ items up; didn’t want to scare them off with my disaffected scowl. The work was as monotonous as it always was. Same shit, different day.

When there’s finally a let up in the customer line, Jesse confronts me about my mood. “Okay, dude, that face is seriously starting to bum me out,” he says. “What’s your deal? Did something happen between now and when I came over the other day?”

I’d have been touched by his concern, but I was too out of it to do anything but stare blankly into space. “Dude,” I eventually start, “you wouldn’t believe me if I told you. And even if you did…I don’t really want to talk about it.”

Jesse wouldn’t have that. He presses a palm to his chest. “Rich, come on. It’s me. You can talk to me about anything.”

I heave a sigh in no direction in particular. “Let’s just say…I didn’t know someone as well as I thought I did. Or maybe I did, and I was just fooling myself this whole time. It’s…hard to explain.”

“Would ranting about your ponies help any?” he jokes, patting his chest with both palms now. “C’mon, do your worst. I can take it.”

I chuckle lightly at him. Despite my sulking, he was trying his hardest. I couldn’t fault him for that; that’s just how he was. I pat his shoulder as I pass by him. “Thanks, man, but…I just need a little alone time, that’s all. I’m taking a break.”

“Sheesh… Kid looks like he’s just been through a bad breakup…”

I walk around to a far side of the building and sit in the shade, leaning back against the cool brick wall. One arm is propped up on my knees, and my other hand is lightly gripping the neck of a beer bottle. Once again, I find myself just staring into space, playing past events in my head over and over again.

“I bet I’d have been home by now if I didn’t have to rely on you!”

“Like I’d actually be friends with a stupid…useless…BLANK FLANK like you!”

“FINE! I don’t need you! I’ll get back to Ponyville by myself!”

How did things go so sour so quickly? We became friends. We were happy. At least…I was happy. Was she? Or was it all a ruse? A cruel ruse? I choke down another swig of beer.

“Isn’t it a little early in the day for beer?”

I pick my head up and see Summer looking down at me, one hand secured on her hip. “…Hey.”

I say nothing back to her.

She walks over and seats herself at my right and looks straight ahead. I don’t object to her presence. When would I ever? “…You wanna talk about it?”

I feign ignorance. “Talk about what?”

“About whatever’s bothering you.”

“Nothing’s bothering me.”

“That’s the worst lie ever.” She turns her head slightly to look at me. “Anything to do with where you’ve been this past week? If you feel like talking, I’ll listen. I’m no Jesse or anything, but…”

I meet her gaze, only barely, before glancing away. She was making the effort. Why shouldn’t I? “…You ever…have a friend that you thought you knew everything about, only to later realize you knew nothing about them at all? That you thought you might’ve changed in some positive way, only for it all to explode right in your face?”

“Hmm…” She seems to absorb much of what I’m saying, and then leans back to look up at the clear afternoon sky. “…You remember my old friend Erica?” she suddenly asks.

“Your best friend from middle school?”

“Mm-hmm. She fell in with the ‘cool girl’ crowd when we entered high school. You know, the quote-unquote ‘popular girls’, the girls all the guys wanted to hook up with. And I was happy for her – I really was – ‘cause she had, like, the worst self-esteem in junior high. As it turns out, though, those cheesy high school movies we always made fun of aren’t all that different from real life. …She stole my first high school boyfriend from me.”

“Wow, what a bitch.”

“Tell me about it. I was sooooo mad, I refused to speak with her ever again. …But every year since then, I still e-mail her and wish her a happy birthday.”

“Why?”

She shrugs. “I dunno. Maybe to convince myself I’m better than her somehow? Or maybe it’s ‘cause, deep down, I still think we’re friends. She didn’t even reply to any of the e-mails I sent. …Except the one I sent her last year.”

“What’d she say?”

“…‘Thanks, BFF. Sorry about Trevor.’ And a few months ago, she wished me a happy birthday. …I guess what I’m getting at is, even if you know nothing about a person, that shouldn’t stop you from being friends with them. And you have to trust that you’re affecting them in some way, even if it doesn’t feel like it’s worth going the extra mile.”

For the first time since Diamond Tiara left…I smile. “…Thanks, Summer.”

She smiles back and pats the back of my hand. “No problem.” She picks herself up and turns to walk away. But just as she turns the corner, I hear her mumble something to herself.

“Hmm?”

“What?”

“You say something?”

“Me? Nope.”

And she says I’m the worst liar ever? I know she said something just now. And if I didn’t know better, I’d think she said,

‘Your faithful student, Summer Walsh.’





I leave work early that day. Didn’t feel much like working at all; honestly, I’d only showed up that day out of an obligation to Jesse. In spite of Summer’s pep talk, I still felt like utter crap. Thought a walk would help clear my head. I didn’t have a destination in mind; I just felt like going for a walk.

I stare at the sidewalk beneath my feet until the concrete gives way to a path of cobblestones, and I find myself in a familiar-looking park. The very same park I’d taken Diamond Tiara to play in the snow. Figures. Can’t even trust my own damn feet to not think about that stupid filly.

I slow my pace a little and take notice of a small handful of people passing through or lounging on benches. They pay me no mind, and I pay them no mind. Same old, same old. As if any of us actually mattered to each other, I thought. I stop momentarily by some trees. Much of the snow is gone, exposing the elaborate network of thin, brittle-looking branches underneath. I exhale a sigh and continue on.

~Sniff~

I freeze in mid-step. That sound… I knew that sound. I’d spent nearly a week hearing it. Little by little, I turn back toward the tree, focusing at its base. My heart skips a beat. Sure enough, I spot a small mass concealed by the shadows, in a position where people would pass it by and not even notice it. My steps are deliberate and as slow as molasses. With each step, the tiny mass comes into fuller view. I poke my head around the tree trunk and look down at it.

A large cloth of wine-red velvet that was draped over something.

~Sniff~

There was that sound again. And just as I’d suspected, it was coming from the cloth. Or, less absurd-sounding, whatever was under it. Whoever was under it.

I swallow the giant lump in my throat before attempting at speech. “…Diamond Tiara?”

The cloth jerks ever slightly at the sound of my voice.

“Don’t run,” I implore it. “Please.”

“Go away, blank flank!” orders the filly beneath the velvet.

I remain firmly where I stand. “What are you doing?”

“What’s it look like? I’m waiting for that stupid Trixie to do her stupid magic trick so I can go home!”

“How long have you been sitting out here?”

“None of your business! Now go away!”

I kneel down beside her, the wet grass dampening my knees of my pants. “I’m not gonna do that.” I take a hold of the cloth and pull it off of her, giving me full view of her eyes. They’re red and puffy, and the blue in them had lost some of its vividness, making them a pale blue-gray. Her mane and tail are disheveled, but other than that, she looks relatively unharmed. I was so relieved.

She pulls away suddenly and tries to run…

…but I grab her and pull her into my arms. “No, Tiara!”

“Let go of me!” She flails her legs about wildly, jabbing and pounding me with her hooves in an attempt to break free. “I said I don’t need you!”

“I don’t care! I’m not letting you go again! I’m sorry I ever let you go in the first place!”

“Let me go!” she screams, tears starting to trickle forth yet again. “I just…want…to go…HOME!”

I let her cry her eyes out while I hold her close to me, coming close to tearing up myself. We sit there for who knows how long, unmoving and silent.

“…Why’d you come looking for me?” Diamond Tiara soon asks in a breathless whisper.

“I didn’t”, I answer her. “I found you by accident. But I’m glad I did.”

“I thought you hated me.”

“I thought you hated me. Why’d you snap at me like that yesterday?”

“…”

“…Tiara…how’d you get your cutie mark?”

I set her down, but only once I’m sure she won’t run away the second I do. Pacing herself, she reaches up, removes her tiara off, and places it in my hands. “…When I first started attending Ponyville Elementary, everypony kinda…avoided me. To them, I was ‘that snooty rich filly’. No one wanted to play with me ‘cause I was ‘spoiled’ and ‘stuck-up’. My only friend was Silver Spoon ‘cause her family was rich too. So for my birthday, my dad surprised me with this tiara. When I have it on, I feel more…confident. Sure of myself. Like I could take on all of Equestria. So when the foals at school made fun of me for being snooty, I started making fun of them for being blank flanks. It was like my tiara gave me the confidence I needed to stand up to them. And that’s when…well…” She wiggles her rump a little, directing my attention to the mark on her flank.

“So your special talent…is confidence?”

“That’s what I thought at first too. But when everypony finally backed off, I realized…I liked telling ponies what to do. I liked being in charge. My tiara made me feel like…a queen.”

All of a sudden, the events of that one episode made a lot more sense. Why the other ponies in Diamond Tiara’s class followed her direction so willingly. Confidence. Charisma. Being a natural-born leader. That was Diamond Tiara’s special talent. She probably had a bright future ahead of her as a businessmare or politician. “But, Tiara,” I protest, “you can be in charge and not be mean, you know? Do you think making fun of other ponies for being blank flanks is any better than them making fun of you for being a snob?”

“It’s not like I want to be mean,” she defends. “I’ve just been doing it for so long, it’s all I know how to do.”

“That’s not true. You can be nice too; I’ve seen it myself. Just show them the real you, the ‘Tiara under the tiara’. They’ll come around. I know they will. …And listen to Silver Spoon once in a while. I think she’ll rub off on you.” I throw in a wink for good measure.

Diamond Tiara rubs her eyes with a foreleg and curls her lips upward. “…I’ll try.”

I return her smile and reach up to rub her ear. “Good. Now let’s get you home before you catch another cold, huh?”

“Hehehe.”





I like to think that, thanks to mine and Tiara’s fight, our relationship is stronger for it. She’s become a lot less argumentative and more approachable; in fact, I’d dare say she sees me as close a friend to her as Silver Spoon. Of course, she’s still a filly at heart and will jump at any and all opportunities to tease me. But her laughs are out of foalish amusement and not of spite.

I’d finally kept my promise and taken her shopping for new clothes. Now that was an interesting (and funny as hell) afternoon.

I had convinced one of the store employees (the poor, naïve girl) that Tiara was a plush toy that I’d planned on giving to a cousin for her birthday, and I wanted to buy a few clothes that she could dress it up in. Naturally, she was suspicious at first, but all doubts were banished from her mind when she saw Tiara. Had I not stepped in, the clueless girl would’ve squeezed all the ‘stuffing’ out of her. Either that, or Tiara would’ve given herself away and bucked the girl right in the face.

Humorous complications aside, we walked out of the store with some new wardrobe, and Tiara couldn’t have been happier about it.

On the way home, we’d stopped by an empty playground for her to play in for a short time. A round of tag here, a little hide and seek there; she’d even dragged me over to the swing set to push her on the swing. Her giggles filled the early evening air. She’d cry ‘higher!’ and I’d obligingly accommodate. It was heartwarming to see the rose-coated pony acting her age.

…As ten o’clock rolls around and the ending credits of the movie we’d been watching begin to appear on the TV screen, I shut the DVD player off. “Okay,” I start to the filly sitting in my lap, “time for bed.”

Tiara looks up at me and puts on her cutest pout. “Awww… Just one more movie?” she whines.

“I think not. That was the third one in a row,” I tell her as I pick her up to carry her to bed. She crosses her forelegs and sulks, but I put a smile back on her face by tickling her belly a little. “Besides, it’s already past your bedtime.”

Before she could grumble about it, a rebellious yawn escapes her lips.

I tuck her into bed, hand her my old teddy bear (yes, that old teddy bear), and kiss her forehead. “Sweet dreams,” I whisper to her before turning around and making for the bedroom door.

“…Richie?”

I stop to look back at her. “What is it?”

Her expression looks somber. “Do you think…I’ll ever get back home?”

I say nothing at first, walking over and kneeling at her bedside, resting my head on my forearms. “Well…let me ask you this. Let’s say…you could never go back home. You had to stay here with me. Would you be alright with that?”

She shoots up to sit upright, holding the stuffed bear tight. “Are you saying I’m stuck here forever?!”

“No, no, I’m not saying that! It’s just… If we can’t figure out a way… What then?”

Her gaze shifts downward. “I… I don’t know. I miss my parents. I miss Silver Spoon.”

She would. Why wouldn’t she? How could I even think of keeping her here, away from her friends and family? Was I that selfish?

“…But…” I pick my head up to see her warm smile and light blush. “…If I am stuck here, I guess I could do a lot worse.”

My heart swells. Despite what she’s been through – what we’ve been through – she didn’t resent me. She wasn’t bitter. Diamond Tiara – my Diamond Tiara – was back again. It was my turn to tear up. I reach out to hug her, and she lightly hugs back, surprised by my sudden embrace. “Tiara… Thank you…!”

I hear her chuckle softly into my ear. “Stop being such a weirdo!”

Once the tears dry, I tuck Tiara back into bed and step out of the room, closing the door shut behind me. I didn’t want her to see me cry again. This time, the tears fall more freely, but I make no movement to stop them.

Tiara had accepted me. She was my friend. And I was hers. I couldn’t help but weep with joy.

Maybe it was because I was the only one around that she could tease and the novelty had worn off, leaving her with little else to do than make the most of it. Whatever the reason, her being here with me makes me happy.

And I can only make sure she’s happy too.





Once more, I awaken to the sound of knocking at the front door. I pick my head up off my pillow and silently curse the sun for existing.

As I shuffle into the hallway groggily, I check in on Tiara, making sure she’s still asleep.

Another knock. “Jeez, alright already, I’m coming,” I groan to no one in particular. “At least wait a minute between knocks, huh?” I approach the door and grasp the knob, but I don’t open it just yet. “Yes?” I call out. “Who is it?”

A feminine voice calls back. “Ugh! It’s about time! It’s rude to keep a lady waiting, you know?”

Whoever it is sounds frustrated, but doesn’t answer my question. She wakes me up this early in the morning, and is calling me rude? “Who is it?” I repeat, stressing each word.

“Well, perhaps if you were to, say, open the door, you’d find out!”

Okay. Now I was pissed. “Lady, unless you want me to call the cops…!”

I hear her voice again, but this time it isn’t me she’s addressing. Was there someone with her? “Yes, I know, but he’s being so discourteous! …Ugh. Very well. …Forgive me, sir, but I’m afraid I must insist you open the door. I would teleport myself inside, but I’m under strict order not to.”

‘Teleport’? What? Now I was less pissed and more curious. Deciding to indulge the odd woman, I unlock the door and open it up to let the blinding rays of the sun in. It takes a moment for my eyes to adjust, and the second that they do…

…I go wide-eyed.

Standing on my doorstep is a short yet mature-looking unicorn. Her coat was a bright eye-catching azure, and her curly mane glistens in streaks of powder blue and silvery blue. As her wisteria star-studded cape sways gently in the breeze, she looks up at me with stunning eyes of pale violet.

It was her. The unicorn mare responsible for everything.

“Greetings, human,” says the blue-coated pony with a grin. “I am the Great and Powerful Trixie.”
> Chapter 6: I'm Weird 'Cause I Hate Goodbyes
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I stare blankly at Trixie for what seems like forever. It almost feels like a dream. It hadn’t even occurred to me that I was standing in front of her in nothing but a wife-beater and shorts.

Trixie picks up on my ogling her and speaks up. “Ahem! Sir? Correct Trixie if she’s wrong, but is it not customary on your world to invite visitors into your home? Besides, you're currently looking after the filly named Diamond Tiara, aren’t you? Surely Trixie’s presence doesn’t come as that much of a shock.”

I blink at her words. Good. So I’m not completely brain-dead. “S-Sorry,” I finally say to her. “P-Please…come in. Uh… Were you talking to someone just now?”

“Indeed, I was. Trixie first needed to make sure you’d willingly invite us in. You may show yourselves now!”

Just then, as if on cue, a few more ponies appear before me, as if they were invisible before now. First, a little gray-coated filly with a silvery-gray mane and tail that I recognized as Silver Spoon. Then, a grown stallion with a pale amber coat and slicked-back jet-black mane: Tiara’s father, Filthy Rich. To his immediate left, an unfamiliar mare with a carnation-pink coat and a mane and tail that gleamed several shades of purple: Tiara’s mother, I presumed. Finally, who should appear behind them but the tall and majestic princess of the Equestrian night herself, Princess Luna?

“Is it true?” asks Silver Spoon first. “Is Diamond Tiara really here?”

My gaze falls upon Trixie once more, and my eyes narrow. “…Yeah,” I reply. “She’s here.”





I invite the four into my home as my inner brony relaxes, excusing myself briefly to change into a clean shirt and pants and wake up Tiara. The reunion goes about as well as you’d expect.

“MOM! DAD!”

“Oh, my little ‘Dazzle’! Thank heavens you’re alright!”

“Diamond Tiara!”

“Silver Spoon!”

“Bump, bump, sugar lump rump!”

…A short while later, the seven of us are gathered in my living room to speak more comfortably. I lean against the wall next to my television set, my arms crossed and my expression sour. Across from me sits the (now arguably) ‘Great and Powerful’ Trixie and Silver Spoon on my couch. Princess Luna stands a few feet to my right, and off to the side is Tiara, who even now refuses to leave her parents’ side for fear of them disappearing into thin air. For the first couple of minutes, there’s only silence in the room, the only sound being the sound of my left index finger tapping on my right arm in an inconsistent rhythm. I would have offered them all something to eat or drink, but I was far too angry at the azure unicorn sitting across from me.

Princess Luna is the first to break the palpable tension. “We thank thee for granting us entry into thy home, Sir—”

“Richie.”

“—Sir Richie, as well as looking after one of our subjects for how long it had taken us to find thee. We are certain young Diamond Tiara’s mother and father are doubly, if not triply, grateful to thee.”

“We most certainly are,” Filthy Rich says. “We can’t thank ya enough for lookin’ after our little ‘Dazzle’ here. She must’ve been quite the handful.” As he speaks, he playfully nuzzles Tiara’s cheek.

“Daaaaaaad!” Tiara whines through her blush. “Cut it out!”

“Uh-huh,” is all I manage to say, as my gaze is fixed solely on Trixie.

Made uncomfortable by my dagger-shooting glare, Trixie finally speaks up. “Trixie can’t help but notice that you haven’t stopped glaring at her since we’ve arrived.”

I spare her none of my bitterness. “I’m sure you know why,” I snap. “Do you have any idea what you’ve put Tiara through?”

“‘Tiara’?” Silver Spoon sneers, surprised to hear me refer to her best friend so informally.

Trixie shrinks away from my accusation and rubs a foreleg, ashamed. “I take it then Diamond Tiara has informed you of my…grievous blunder?”

“‘Grievous blunder’, huh? Yeah, let’s talk about your ‘grievous blunder’, shall we? Stranding her in an unfamiliar world, making her brave the harsh winter weather – by herself and with barely any warm clothes – and nearly freezing to death…! Need I go on?!”

“T-The Great and Powerful Trixie has apologized up and down for what she’s done already! It was, as I’ve said countless times now, an accident!”

“An accident?!?”

“Enough,” Luna commands. I clam up in a heartbeat, if only because of the night princess’ demanding tone of voice. “The blame has been meted out enough now, by both our sister Celestia and by Diamond Tiara’s parents. What’s done is done. Let us not dwell on it and taint what is supposed to be a cordial visit with words of venom. …Sir Richie, you say how much of an inconvenience this has been to Diamond Tiara, but surely this has all been an inconvenience to you as well. Are we mistaken?”

I look away from Trixie long enough to calm down, and I answer, “Well, no. It was kind of a hassle at first…” In the corner of my eye, I see Tiara hang her head in shame. “…But it was also kind of fun. It was great having Tiara here. …If I may speak candidly, your Highness…”

“You may.”

“What took you so long to find us?”

“Ah. That, my good sir, you may blame us for.”

“I’m sorry?”

“We confess, we had actually found your world and discovered Diamond Tiara’s presence in it for several days now.”

“What? Then why didn’t you—?”

“Please,” she cuts me off. “Let us elaborate, for there is much we have to answer for. Once we found Diamond Tiara in your world, and learned that she was in your care, I sent a magically concealed Trixie here to observe you. She was distraught over the pain she caused and was looking to make amends. She informed me that the two of you had gotten rather close in the time it’d taken us to locate you. Realizing that and fearing you would not hand over Diamond Tiara so readily, I…came to a decision. A decision that, upon reflection, I profoundly regret.”

“What decision…?”

“I ordered Trixie to cast a spell. A spell that coerces the worst aspects of a pony’s nature, however suppressed, to the surface. I needed to separate you.”

I feel a chill run down my body. That day. That damn day. Tiara’s words from that day fly through my head at supersonic speed.

“I’ve been here for over a week now! You said you’d figure out how to get me home, but you haven’t done anything!”

“I bet I’d have been home by now if I didn’t have to rely on you!”

“What do you mean, ‘all of a sudden’? This is how I always act!”

“Hmph! Like I’d actually be friends with a stupid…useless…BLANK FLANK like you!”

“You mean…” It takes all of my willpower to not scream bloody murder at Luna. “It’s because of you and Trixie that…that I almost…!”

Trixie shuts her eyes in anticipation of my outburst.

Once again, Luna cuts me off before any outburst could come. “You must believe us, it was not a decision we made lightly. Even Trixie had qualms over casting such an invasive spell. If it were possible, we’d take back that decision a thousand times over.”

I still had questions; my anger would have to wait. “Okay. So you have Trixie cast a spell to drive a wedge between me and Tiara. Why didn’t you come and take her home then? She went back to the park and waited for you to.”

“Well…you might ask Trixie for the answer to that.”

I instinctively look back to Trixie, my expression pleading for answers.

She picks her head up, but she doesn’t meet my eye. “I… Trixie saw how upset you were after your dispute. Princess Luna and I hoped that, if you were separated, you’d simply…forget about each other. But that didn’t happen. Trixie was instructed to retrieve Diamond Tiara then, but…Trixie couldn’t bring herself to. Trixie felt…sorry for you, wanted you to reconcile before we confronted you on more even footing.”

“While we were disappointed that Trixie had gone behind our back,” Luna continues, “we understood the reasoning behind her actions. Such that Diamond Tiara’s loved ones braved the journey across the worlds with us to meet you face-to-face. Which brings us to today.”

I look down at Trixie apologetically. “You did that…for us?” I almost wanted to go over and hug the unicorn. But I settled for telling her, “…Thank you.”

Trixie’s cheeks flush with a little color. She gives me a half-smile, pleased to have actually done something right. “You’re …quite welcome.”

Luna carries on further with, “If our actions have so deeply upset thee, Sir Richie, we apologize. It was not our intention to cause you – either of you – such heartache.”

I shake my head. “Don’t apologize, your Highness. Like I said, it was great having Tiara here.” I look over to the small filly. “I wouldn’t trade the memories of our time spent together for anything in the world.”

Her eyes begin to water. “Richie…”

Before her imminent tears drive me to tears as well, I turn back to Luna, my smile slowly curling down. “But…if you’re taking Diamond Tiara home, I’m guessing it means I won’t get to keep those memories…doesn’t it?”

Tiara seems unnerved at the thought of me having my memories wiped.

Princess Luna picks up on this and looks up toward me. “…Our sister will likely be displeased by this…but no. We will not tamper with thy memories, Sir Richie. Consider it recompense for so selflessly looking after one of our sister’s little ponies. We are certain we speak for all of Equestria when we say…thank thee very much.”

My face feels warm as Luna bows her head to me. A princess of Equestria bowing to me? I rub the back of my head in humility. I don’t feel like I’ve done anything special. I did what anyone with my kind of upbringing would’ve done in the same situation.

“Richie?”

I glance downward and see a practically teary-eyed Tiara standing at my feet. I kneel down to meet her eye and rub her ear a little. “Hey, Tiara,” I speak in almost a whisper. “I bet you’re pretty stoked to be going home, huh? Sorry it took so long.”

The first few of her tears start to fall. “Y-Yeah…”, she says to me, sniffling.

I move my hand over to stroke her head and mane some too. “Remember…what we talked about, okay? You can be in charge and…not be mean. You said…you’d try, right?”

Tiara shudders with each stifled sob. “Uh-huh…”

My vision begins to blur, and I soon realize that I’m crying too. I couldn’t hold myself back. I reach down and take the sobbing Tiara into my arms, my tears dripping onto her lavish coat. “I’m gonna miss you so much, Tiara.”

“…Me too.”

Filthy Rich and his wife were no doubt amazed at how much their little ‘Dazzle’ had changed during her time away from home.

“You could stay, you know?” I tell the petite pony in my arms. “You said you didn’t have many friends back home, but you have me here. And I accept you, flaws and all, even if they don’t.”

“You goofball. We both know that’s impossible. I have to go.”

“I know, but…!” I was near hysterical. As hard as I try to convince myself this was bound to happen, this had to happen, my desperation still shines through. I had just gotten used to the idea of her staying, and now… My hold around Tiara tightens a little. “I feel like I was just getting to know you! The REAL you!”

“I know. But think how many ponies will also get to know the real me when I get back. Let’s face it: the foals in my class would be a mess without me.”

I chuckle lightly at her joke before letting her go. I wipe the tears from her eyes, and she wipes the tears from mine. “…Wait here, okay? I have something for you.” I excuse myself from the room again and dart over to my room, returning shortly with something hidden behind my back. Walking over, I whisper into Princess Luna’s ear, asking if it was alright to give it to Tiara.

The benevolent princess of the night nods.

I kneel in front of Tiara again and present her with my old teddy bear, the one she’d come to enjoy cuddling as she slept. I was suddenly really grateful to my dad for having me hold onto it. “Here, Tiara,” I say to the filly as I hand her the stuffed toy, “I want you to have this.”

She eyes the toy before meeting my gaze again. “You… You’re giving this to me?”

“Mm-hmm. I know how much you like to sleep with him, and without someone to enjoy him, he’s just gonna go back to collecting dust on a shelf. He had his fun with me when I was little. So maybe he can have a little more fun…with you.”

Tiara slowly reaches out and takes the stuffed bear into her hooves. The tears begin to fall a second time, and she jumps up to wrap her forelegs around my neck. I hug her back, of course. “…Thanks for not giving up on me,” she whispers as she nuzzles my cheek.

I hold Tiara close for what’s sure to be the last time and for as long as I possibly could. She was warm. I loved this warmth.

Over on the couch, I barely make out the sound of Silver Spoon’s soft sniffling.

Tiara pulls away from the hug first, and smiles at me. I return her smile and kiss her forehead. With my – I mean, her teddy bear tucked away, she goes to join her parents, Trixie, and Silver Spoon at Princess Luna’s side. The princess’ horn glows bright cobalt, and a wind begins to blow through my living room.

“Trixie?” I call out before the wind drowns out my voice.

“Hmm?”

“Sorry for…you know…yelling at you and stuff.”

She laughs off my apology. “Silly human! The new Great and Powerful Trixie doesn’t hold a grudge! …But…apology accepted.”

I wave farewell to the six – Tiara mostly – as they prepare to leave my world. Tiara holds her stuffed toy for dear life and smiles at me. And in a burst of cerulean light, they all vanish. Just as suddenly as they showed up, they were gone. I stand in silence in my empty living room, coming to terms with Tiara’s departure and the fact that I’d probably never see her again. I feel the tears coming on again, and I don’t fight them. But I’m not sad. Not completely. I’m happy. Happy that I got the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to become acquainted with a sweet, little filly from another world. Happy that she was home where she belonged. And incredibly grateful to Trixie, not only for sending her to me but also for going against her princess’ orders and helping Tiara and me patch things up.

My opinion of the character Diamond Tiara has been turned completely around. Because Diamond Tiara is more than just a character to me now. She’ll never be just a character to me anymore.

She’s my friend.

And that’ll never change.





“…Oh! Or how about the part where Pinkie goes, ‘this donkey is really, really BALD!’?”

“Hahahaha! Oh, man, I love that part!”

It’s been two days since Diamond Tiara went home. The world kept on spinning. But not everything stayed the same. I finally asked Summer out on a date. She said yes the second I asked. Dinner and a movie; nothing spectacular. And guess what? She loves the new My Little Pony too! Just when I thought she couldn’t be any more perfect! I mean, I know I shouldn’t be surprised, her being a girl and all, but whatever. It was pretty much all we talked about on the drive from the movie theater to her house, even now as I’m walking her to her front door.

“Maybe next year we should go to BronyCon.” she proposes. “We can go dressed as Doctor Whooves and Derpy!”

“Heh. Sounds like a plan. Let’s drag Jesse along and dress him up as Spike just to piss him off.”

“Hah! Totally!” We reach Summer’s front door within seconds, and she turns to me with her hands clasped behind her back. “…I had a great time tonight.”

“…Yeah. Me too.”

Taking a brazen step toward me, Summer reaches up to wrap her arms around my neck and leans in to initiate a kiss. I reel a little in surprise at first, but my arms seem to take on a life of their own and wrap around Summer’s waist, and I ease into it. Sparks fly in my brain, and my heart nearly leaps out of my chest. She presses her soft lips firmly against mine – a sensation I’d long dreamed of – and nothing else seems to matter.

We stay like that for almost a full minute before Summer slowly pulls away. She smiles widely, her face flushed tomato-red. Leaning in, she rests her forehead on mine and whispers, “…I’ve wanted to do that for over two years now.”

“Sorry to make you wait for so long,” I whisper back with a quiet chuckle before moving in to kiss her again.

The perfect end to a perfect date. I was sure I’d be riding this high until I saw Jesse next and he assaulted me with ‘I-told-you-so’s’.





I sit in front of my computer as the sun starts to go down. Half of my attention is devoted to the episode of Friendship is Magic that I’m live-streaming, and the other half is toward the folder of photos I’d taken of Diamond Tiara during her stay. Our snow day in the park. Splashing me in the bathtub. Modeling the new clothes I bought her. Waving at me as she swings from the swing set. Each picture to appear on my computer screen is another precious memory I relive. And each memory I relive brings me closer to tears. I missed her smile, her warmth, already. I missed calling her ‘Tiara’ and hearing her call me ‘weirdo’, ‘goofball’, or ‘freak-a-zoid’. I missed—

~Knock, knock, knock~

…I miss not having moments to myself interrupted by knocks at the door at odd hours of the day!

With a heavy sigh, I pick myself up out of the chair and move toward my front door. In the time I’ve lived by myself (short as it was), I don’t think I’ve ever had someone knock on my door this late in the day. “Who is it?” I call out.

No reply.

“…Hello?” I call out a second time. Still nothing. “…I swear, if I open the door and find a flaming bag of—”

Mercifully, I don’t find myself the victim of a stupid prank and instead open my door to the sight of…

…a cardboard box.

I almost burst out laughing. “Okay. There’s no goddamn way I’m that lucky.”

Sure enough, I don’t see anything on the side of the box along the lines of ‘Give to good home’, nor do I hear anything inside that constitutes as breathing. In addition, and just as mercifully, I don’t hear anything ticking, so that also rules out ‘cardboard box bomb’. Nevertheless, I don’t remember ordering any packages.

I bring the (rather large from up close) box inside and set it down on the living room coffee table. Upon closer inspection, I see a light-blue card jutting out from underneath one of the flaps on top. I pull the card out to read whatever’s written on it; most of the lettering is in exquisite cursive, the rest in childlike handwriting.

Or should I say…mouthwriting?

To Sir Richie ~

Apologies for the impromptu gift; Diamond Tiara was rather insistent.
Once again, you have our sincerest and most heartfelt thanks for looking after her.
We hope this shall serve as further recompense for thy noble deeds.
Our sister Celestia sends her regards.

~ Princess Luna of Equestria



Miss you, goofball! Hope you like your present! You better take good care of it!

Love, Tiara

The card slips out of my fingers, and I very nearly rip the box apart. I control myself just enough to avoid tearing Diamond Tiara’s gift. I pull open the box’s flaps…and I’m greeted by Tiara’s smiling face. A plush replica of Diamond Tiara – made to scale, it looked like – sits in the box before me.

My breath becomes shallow.

I tenderly lift the stuffed toy out of the box and hold it up. Same coat color. Same mane and tail. Same blue eyes. I hold it close. Even the same faint scent of lavender. Princess Luna does quality work. I wonder if she takes commissions.

I know it’s not the real Tiara…but it’s almost as good.

I shut my computer down for the night and crawl into bed with the plush Tiara. As the cold wind beats fiercely against my window, I hold the stuffed doll close and I’m kept warm by the heat it gives off.

Thoughts of life with Tiara filled my dreams that night.

“Teddy bears are for babies!”

Maybe. If that’s the case, I’ll happily stay a kid for a little while longer.





In another world, a pink-coated filly is tucked into bed – the bed she’d so dearly missed – by her loving mother and father, beyond thrilled to have their daughter back. Her mother kisses her forehead, and she snuggles close to her beloved new teddy bear under the sheets, drifting off to dream of mountains of delicious apple cobbler.