The Great Poniotic War

by Uber_Shy

Meanwhile on the shores of Prance...

Applejack looked at her hooves in order to keep from being seasick. She hated boat rides. If she wanted to be on a rickety metal craft all day she would have joined the navy. She liked her hooves firmly planted on solid ground at all times. The transport hit a wave and rocked violently for the hundredth time. The stallion next to her leaned on her as he regained his balance. She grunted pushed him up straight.

He looked at her with a stare she likened to the expression of cows she used to herd back home. Applejack silently pitied the stallion. He was greener than a head of lettuce, and now he was being thrown into the fire like so many other ponies. He was practically shaking with fear and apprehension. Applejack simply looked straight ahead in order to spare herself the pitiful sight. If by some miracle he lived to see tomorrow she might consider learning his name. Out of everyone in their unit, only she and Pinkie had made it here alive from the Italian campaigns. She had lost a lot of friends and wasn’t planning on losing any more. To her irritation, the stallion spoke to her.

“You think the navy got em all sarge?” he asked.

“My friend Rarity mans one of those guns on that battleship back there,” Applejack replied gruffly, “if anyone can make those crouts hurt it’s her. Now cut the chit chat private, it’s almost time to land.”
As if on cue, the first magic beams hit the water next to them. The closest beam sent up a huge spray of water that doused all of the occupants in the transport. Applejack straightened her helmet and let out a sigh.

“Well that’s just great,” she said to no one in particular.

The transport chugged forward at a snails pace as more magic artillery began to open fire. The transport behind Applejack’s was hit directly and exploded into flames. A warm liquid touched Applejack’s hoof. She looked down to see a puddle of urine spreading towards her.

“Oh fer cryin’ out loud private!” Applejack exclaimed looking back at the stallion.

“Oh, sorry sarge I just…” The private stammered as more beams hit the water.

“For hay’s sake private, you’d better buck up before you go hoof to hoof with those crouts up there ya hear?”

“Ma’am yes ma’am,” the stallion said.
Applejack simply scowled and continued to stand in the puddle.

“Thirty seconds!” the driver shouted over the waves and artillery fire.

“This is it ponies! Once that ramp drops y’all follow corporal Strider,” Applejack instructed. “And for pony’s sake stay in formation.”

All of the ponies lowered their heads as smaller bursts of unamplified magic began to zip through the air. A grenade bounced off of the front of the transport and exploded, causing it to rock yet again. Applejack grunted and vowed to find the sorry pony whom had launched it.

“Ten seconds!” the driver yelled.

Corporal Land Strider, the unicorn in front of the group, began to charge his horn in preparation to erect a barrier. The unicorn behind him did the same.

“Go, Go, Go,” yelled the driver just before the ramp dropped. Corporal Strider threw up his barrier just in time to catch a few magic bursts. He charged down the ramp and onto the beach. The rest of the ponies on the craft were quick to follow. Unfortunately, Corporal Strider only got five pony’s lengths up the beach before he tripped a mine. The clever piece of machinery rose out of the sand to about chest level before exploding. The blast took the front half of the Corporal and the two ponies next to him. A pellet from the mine whizzed past Applejack’s ear. She did her best to ignore it and push on.
Magic blasts of all colors came in and killed four more ponies before Land Strider’s replacement got her barrier up. Applejack looked to either side to see dozens of other columns run up the beach with varied success. One column set off a daisy chain of mines and they all disappeared in a cloud of sand and smoke. The number of magic bolts sharply increased as more craft landed on the beach. Other than the fact that they were meant to kill ponies, the massive amount of magic bolts were quite nice. Running up the beach was like running through a fractured rainbow. Bolts of every color struck the lead unicorn’s barrier and flew harmlessly into the sand. Amazingly, Applejack’s column made it the rest of the way to the sea wall without another casualty. They ran up and dove against the concrete wall. As soon as they were all under cover, the unicorn dropped her shield and nearly collapsed with exhaustion. Applejack gave her a bump on the shoulder with a hoof.

“You did good soldier,” Aplejack said to her before yelling at the others, “Where are my hoof busters?!”

“Right here ma’am,” said a blue pony with an olive drab backpack full of explosives.

“Up and over the wall soldier, those obstacles won’t clear themselves.”

“Right away ma’am,” the soldier said and set to work assembling his explosive gear.

“Is specialist Pinkie pie here?” Applejack asked.

“Yes sir ma’am sir,” came a reply from right behind Applejack.

Applejack startled and whipped around. She found herself nose to nose with her old friend.

“Pinkie? How’d ya get here so fast?”

“I’m always here when I’m needed silly. What do ya need?” Pinkie pie asked happily as if she were on the streets of Ponyville and not on a battlefield.

“I need you to shut those foals up,” Applejack replied and gestured to the bunker on the opposite side of the sea wall.

“Okie dokie lokie one bunker buster coming right up,” Pinkie said and pushed a button on her chest.

The giant slingshot strapped to her back-deployed upright from its folded position.
She placed an egg shaped explosive shell onto the guide rail and pulled a string to draw the sling. Once it was locked in the rearward position she crouched down. After a few seconds she sprung up so she could see over the sea wall. In midair at the apex of her leap, she fired the oversized slingshot. The shell just barely cleared Pinkie’s poofy mane and, as always, sailed perfectly to its destination. It landed inside the largest window of the bunker with a “clink” before disappearing inside. Applejack thought she could hear feint voices of panic before the shell exploded, sending dust and smoke shooting out of the bunker’s loopholes.

Pinkie landed on the ground and smiled proudly at Applejack.

“That makes sixteen!” she yelled over the chaos around her.

“Great work,” Applejack replied before yelling, “Hoof busters! Now!”

“Fire in the hole!” the engineer pony yelled and tossed the satchel charge over the wall. He gave the message of “fire in the hole” time to be repeated down the line of ponies gathered at the sea wall before turning the detonation handle. A giant cloud of smoke and concrete came out from the other side of the wall. As one would expect given the name, the explosives sent a jarring wave of energy through the ground. The shockwave from the blast sent Applejack’s insides spinning. She ignored her discomfort and charged up to the top of the sea wall.

“Come on y’all we’ve got us a beach to take,” she yelled and gestured for them to follow her.
The unicorn that had shielded them across the beach was the first one up. She was followed by a torrent of determined ponies. Applejack watched two ranks go by before she filed in. They charged through the recently cleared barbed wire minefield towards the now destroyed bunker sixteen pony lengths away. Multi-colored magic bolts started to sail over their heads from the right side. Applejack looked and saw the nose of a rapid-amp sticking out of the hill. The loophole must have been covered before.

“Private! Block right!” Applejack yelled at the unicorn in front.

The unicorn swung her head to the right and brought a blue force field between the ranks of ponies and the deadly bolts of magic. Applejack took the lead and ran to the top of the hill the knocked out bunker protruded from. As expected, there was a trench there. Several spears were hurled their way from the hill with little to no effect. Once at the top, Applejack was surprised to find there were only a few ponies there. A spear came up to meet Applejack as she dove into the trench. She knocked it aside with one fore hoof and brought the other down on the pony at the other end. There was the satisfying clang of metal horseshoe on helmet and the enemy pony collapsed. Not much could stop a steel plated earth pony hoof.
The ponies behind Applejack flooded into the trench and cleared it out in a matter of minutes. They then broke up and headed either right or left down the trench line in order to clear the rest of the fortifications out.
Now was time for phase two of the landing. The remaining bunkers had to be cleared out.

“Pinkie Pie, Private… Scratch I believe, font and center,” said Applejack said.

Pinkie Pie and the white unicorn that had protected them stepped in front of her.

“We have bunkers to clear out so the next wave doesn’t get chewed up like we did. Y’all are on me. Let’s move.”

With that, Applejack led her companions west through the trenches. They passed through an eerily quiet network of fortifications. Despite what she had said about Rarity’s shooting, Applejack didn’t think it was THAT good. Every corner she turned expecting to find enemies, she found nothing but more empty stretches of trench. They finally arrived at the first bunker. The rear door was thick steel and locked up tight.

“Private Scratch, you think you can get this open?” Applejack asked Vinyl.

“I sure can try, and if you don’t mind sarge, just call me Vinyl,” Vinyl said with a shrug. The focused her magic on the heavy hinges. They started to come up and made a horribly loud metallic screech. The ponies inside must have heard, because a slit in the door slid open.

“Cover!” Applejack yelled and dove around a corner.

All three ponies got out of the way before purple magic started blasting out of the slit in every direction.

“I’ve got this one!” yelled pinkie before jumping out of the trench and racing around to the front of the bunker. Vinyl Scratch and Applejack exchanged glances and waited. Surprisingly Pinkie’s voice began to come from inside the bunker.

“Hi. I’m Pinkie Pie!” She said happily.

“Vas?” Came a voice from inside the bunker.

Applejack then heard yelling in German followed by the sound of magic being cast. Before long, yells turned to screams of pain and terror. Different colored lights shone from under the door. There were a few more moments of fighting before the bunker fell silent. The door opened and Pinkie pie stepped out.

“Germans are so funny,” She said and kicked the door shut with a rear hoof. As she did so, an explosion rocked the bunker from the inside. Pinkie Pie pranced over to Applejack while humming a merry tune.

“So where’s the next one?” she asked.
Applejack gave a nervous laugh and gestured down the next expanse of trenches.
On their way towards the next bunker, they were engaged by several earth ponies and a unicorn. The unicorn’s magic was countered by Vinyl, and Pinkie Pie made short work of the first few earth ponies. They took cover as the unicorn continued to fire at them.

“She has to tire out some time,” Applejack said.

“Yeah but it’ll be a while,” Vinyl said, “She’s using minor stun spells. We could be here all day.”

“Ain’t nobody got time for that. Pinkie pop smoke. Vinyl you use the cover to flank her.” Applejack ordered.

A yelling pony interrupted them. He came around the corner and jumped on top of Pinkie Pie. She rolled with the lunge and ended up being the one on top. She wrapped her forelegs around his neck and pulled up sharply, breaking it.

“Smoke time, roger dodger boss mare,” Pinkie said without pause and loaded a white striped grenade into her slingshot. She launched it at the wall to the trench and it bounced in between them and the enemy unicorn. Once the smoke was fully dispersed, Vinyl charged around the corner and out of sight.

“Pinkie, you and I are going to make a break for that rock outside the trench in order to distract the mare,” Applejack said.

“Right behind you,” Pinkie said and folded her slingshot back up.

Applejack Jumped out of the trench and ran as fast as she could for the rock. The enemy unicorn saw this and started to shoot at them. Before Applejack could make it, she saw Vinyl come out of the trench behind the unicorn.

“Boom!” she exclaimed and sent a blue shockwave at her target. The unicorn exploded into hundreds of small pieces as the shockwave hit her. Several earth ponies poked their heads out of the trench to see what the noise was. With a single leap, Vinyl was on the edge of the trench and fired another shockwave into it. All of the other ponies perished in the attack.

“YEAAAAHH, can you feel these wubs of de-struc-tion?!” yelled Vinyl triumphantly.
Applejack was frozen in place just short of the rock she had intended to use as cover. She was a bit taken aback by the display.

“Wow, I didn’t know unicorns could do that,” Pinkie said.

“Neither did I honestly,” Vinyl admitted.

“Well I’m glad you were willing to experiment at the expense of our safety private,” Applejack remarked sarcastically.

“Oh come on sarge I knew it would at least stun her. I’ve been working on a wub amplifier spell for ages now,” Vinyl protested.

“Since it worked in the end I’ll let it slide for now,” Applejack said, “right now we have more work to do.”
They all jumped back into the trench and proceeded west once more. They were only a few pony lengths further down the line when another pony stuck her head around a corner. Vinyl immediately launched a bolt of magic at her and she barely managed to avoid it.

“Hold up,” Applejack said to Vinyl before challenging the stranger, “Who’s there?”

“Private First Class Summer Shade here. Who’s asking,” the stranger responded.

“A couple of pissed of earth ponies and a zap happy unicorn, now come out were we can see ya,” Applejack ordered.

“I’m not angry Applejack,” Pinkie interjected.

Applejack ignored her as the new pony slowly peaked around the corner. After a few moments she realized they were friendlies and stepped out from behind the corner. Applejack saw her seapony patch and raised an eyebrow.

“Yer from the 21st infantry?” She asked.

“Yes ma’am,” Summer Shade responded.

“Y’all are a bit off course don’t you think?”

“To be honest ma’am, I think we are all a little off course.”

“If you’re comin’ from that direction I assume the bunkers have been taken care of.”

“Uh as far as I know ma’am there weren’t any bunkers where we landed.”

At this Applejack sighed and turned to her tiny squad.

“C’mon ladies,” She said, “We’re headin back so we can find out where the hay we are.”

“Wait,” Summershade said to the others and they all looked at her.

“I kind of got separated from my unit. If it’s all the same to you I’d like to accompany you back to base camp until I find out where they are.” She said.

“Sounds good to me,” Applejack responded, “just try to keep up ok?”

Summershade nodded and they set off together towards the beach Applejack and her friends had landed on. They would later learn it was ten miles west of their designated beach. Despite this they were told to rest up at their new base camp. They would have a lot of marching to do the next morning.

Author's Note:

I know I promised not to have any more fun with this story, but I just couldn't help myself.