Too Many Pinkie Pies
CHAPTER FOUR
Too Many Pinkie Pies
If there's one thing I've learned about Twilight, it's that she is always determined to learn new spells. Even if they don't have any real use... such as the one she was trying now, which was supposed to turn an apple into an orange. I couldn't see why anypony would have a need for such a spell, as both apples and oranges are in abundant quantities in Equestria.
But remembering what she did when Spike told her that Princess Celestia wanting to see her was 'just a test' — I could still smell burning couch fabric — I kept my opinions to myself, and watch as she focused intently on the apple in front of her as her horn glowed brightly. Spike clapped his hands enthusiastically.
"Come on, Twilight!" he said encouragingly. "You can do it!"
At that precise moment, however, a pink ball of pure energy appeared out of nowhere and tackled Twilight, causing her to fire off her spell. Needless to say, this knocked her aim off, and a few seconds later, I discovered that my hand had been turned into an orange, fingers and all.
"Whoa, cool!" I said, as I admired my new appendage, ignoring the fact that Pinkie Pie was now holding Twilight in her vice-like grip, as she squeezed the life out of her in a hug.
"Pinkie Pie!" Twilight shouted, as she squirmed free. "What in Equestria was that for?!"
"Because hugs are fun-a-rific!" Pinkie said excitedly. "Especially when you share them with your fri— oh, neato! You turned Geo's hand into an orange!"
"I did what?!" Twilight gasped, turning to look at me as I continued to be mesmerised by my fruity hand. "Oh, ponyfeathers!"
Another blast of magic and my hand was back to being a fleshy mass, much to Pinkie's disappointment... and mine, if I'm honest.
"Oh well," she said, "it was nice while it lasted! I'm going to see if anypony else is doing something fun!"
She turned round and began bouncing down the street. A few seconds passed before she bounced right into a pony wearing a shawl. It was Rarity.
"Oh sorry Rarity!" Pinkie said. "I didn't see you t—hey, why are you wearing that? Is it going to rain or something? I hope not, because my Pinkie Sense always tells me when it's going to rain, and it hasn't gone off since that time in the Crystal Empire's library, when that book fell on Geo's head."
I rolled my eyes as Rarity managed to get some words out of her mouth to cut off the hyperactive ball of energy.
"Oh, this?" she said nonchalantly. "I'm only wearing it to protect my latest dress... namely this little number, which I have to say was a lot of fun to make."
She removed the shawl to reveal that she was wearing a dress underneath it, and that her mane and tail had been styled. We all gasped at the craftsmareship, while Spike simply drooled.
Pinkie, however, let out a horrified gasp.
"This is terrible!" she moaned.
Rarity looked at her blankly.
"I'll admit," she said, "that it's not my finest work. But I do say that's it not my worst. Whatever could be wrong with it?"
"Absolutely nothing." Spike said dreamily.
Rarity winked and blew a kiss at him before Pinkie grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her, all the while staring into her eyes.
"You mean you had fun without me there?!" she squealed, the horror in her eyes apparent. "Oh, no! What other fun could I be missing out on? I have to find out!"
Before anyone could reply, she had released Rarity shot off down the road. The four of us exchanged a puzzled look before we just shrugged nonchalantly.
"It's just Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie." I said. "Come on, Twi. You've got a spell to practice. And I'll try not to get in the way this time."
Twilight nodded as her horn sparked to life again, and soon we were lost in our own little world.
***
"Come on, you stupid cloud! Break up already!"
Dash groaned as the defiant cloud ignored her orders. She batted it with her tail in an attempt to break it, but only succeeded in sending little bits of it everywhere.
"Why don't you just give up," Spark Plug asked, "and let somepony else deal with it? We've missed breakfast because of this thing."
Dash glared at him.
"I'm not about to get beaten by some punk cloud!" she snapped. "Just you wait, Spark. I'll get this done in ten seconds flat!"
"Hey, Dashie! Whatcha doing?"
Dash screamed at the mention of her name, as well as the sudden appearance of Pinkie Pie on the cloud.
"Ugh, hey Pinkie." she groaned. "Not much. This stupid cloud got too heavy and made fog, so I'm trying to get rid of it."
"Ooh, that sounds like fun!" Pinkie squealed. "Let me try!"
She began running in circles around Rainbow Dash. Suddenly, the cloud rose into the sky as a small pink tornado formed. With a pop, the cloud broke into several pieces, which dissipated in the air. Pinkie stopped in her tracks and looked at where the cloud had been. She let out a small cry of joy.
"Whee! That was fun!" she said. "I'm gonna go see what Applejack is doing! Bye, Dashie! Bye, Spark!"
As she took off towards the farm, Spark wrapped a hoof around Dash, who was standing still with a look of dumb shock on her face.
"Well you got the 'ten seconds flat' part right." he said. "It's just a pity you got the part about who would get rid of the cloud wrong!"
He burst out laughing at his own joke. A quick glare from Rainbow Dash made him stop and chuckle nervously.
***
Applejack walked along the road towards her farm, pulling a cart behind her. Apple Bloom sat in the back as John walked alongside.
"Another good day at market, eh hon?" he asked.
"Eeyup." Applejack replied. "Once again, Ah was cleaned out. Folk 'round here sure do seem ta love mah apples."
John cast a glance towards Apple Bloom, who was doing her homework. He leaned down close to Applejack and put a hand on her flank. She suppressed a gasp at the sudden contact.
"I love your apples too." he whispered coyly, running his hands towards her cutie mark. "And don't you forget it."
Applejack blushed and batted him with a hoof.
"You're terrible." she said sternly. "... but Ah still love ya fer it."
John grinned.
"Hey, everypony! What's up?"
John looked around and saw that Pinkie had appeared alongside him. He reacted to her sudden presence by blinking.
How the hell does she do that?!
"Nothin' much, sugarcube." Applejack replied. "Just takin' the cart back ta the farm after a day at market."
"Ooh, and Apple Bloom is getting a ride in it!" Pinkie said excitedly. "That looks like fun!"
She leapt in the back of the cart and threw her forehooves into the air, cheering wildly.
"Wheeeeee!" she squealed. "Well, that was fun. I'm gonna go find Fluttershy now! Toodles!"
She shot off down the road, leaving behind two confused ponies and a bemused human.
***
At a small brook outside of her house, Fluttershy placed a blanket on the grass, as a unicorn stallion levitated food from a basket.
"This was such a wonderful idea, Haywick." Fluttershy said. "It reminds me of all the time we spent together when I was in the hospital after my accident."
"Except this time," Haywick replied, "you're not confined to a hospital bed."
Fluttershy smiled as Pinkie Pie trudged into view. She was panting heavily and sweating profusely.
"Hey, Fluttershy." she muttered. "Are you doing... anything fun?"
Fluttershy and Haywick exchanged a glance.
"Umm, no." Fluttershy said gently. "We're not doing anything fun."
"Oh, thank Celestia for that." Pinkie replied. "Fun is hard."
With those words, she fell to the ground.
***
Pinkie sat up slowly, her vision clouded. She yawned softly as the flock of butterflies flew away.
"Thank you, friends." Fluttershy said. "Are you okay, Pinkie? You passed out, so I asked my butterfly friends to help you relax."
"I'm fine, Fluttershy!" Pinkie replied. "I've just been having a hard time keeping up with all the fun stuff everypony is doing. I've been rushing around town all morning looking for fun stuff to do, and it must have tired me out."
"Oh dear." Fluttershy replied. "That sounds bad."
"It is bad." Pinkie said glumly. "The thought of missing out on fun is just... too horrible to even think about!"
It was at this moment that Applejack and John arrived, followed closely by Rainbow Dash and Spark Plug.
"Heya, Pinkie!" Applejack said cheerfully. "Since y'all are lookin' fer fun things ta do, John an' I came over tah invite ya ta help us with a good ol' fashioned barn-raisin'!"
Rainbow Dash scoffed.
"Or," she said, "if you want something even more fun, you can come with Spark and I. We're going to chillax by the pond and catch some rays. That's gotta be more fun than raising a barn which will probably be destroyed again anyway. Right, Pinks?"
Pinkie's eyes darted between the two couples as she began sweating profusely.
"They both sound like fun!" she said mournfully. "Ahh, it's not fair! I can't choose between my friends!"
Haywick chuckled softly.
"It's a pity you can't be in two places at once." he said. "That way, you'd never miss out on anything."
Pinkie thought for a moment before a light bulb appeared above her head, much to the bewilderment of the others. A small grin crossed her face as she shot to her hooves.
"Of course!" she said triumphantly. "That's a brilliant idea, Doctor H! Thanks a lot!"
She vanished in a puff of streamers as everyone left behind blinked and stared at the spot where she had been.
"Er... you're welcome?" Haywick said. "Honestly... that mare."
***
"Pinkie? Come on Pinks, where are you?"
Ace walked through Ponyville calling for Pinkie, as he looked high and low for any sign of her. Rooftops, under benches, behind trees, in mailboxes; any and all potential hiding spots were scrutinised.
As Ace closed yet another mailbox, he saw Fluttershy and Doctor Haywick. He called out to them and walked over.
"Hey Shy, Doc." he said. "You haven't seen Pinkie Pie by any chance, have you? I've been looking for her all morning. If I didn't know any better, I'd say she was up to something. You know how she can get."
Fluttershy and Haywick exchanged a glance.
"Um... we did see her earlier." Fluttershy replied. "She told us that she's worried about all of the fun she's been missing lately. Then Applejack and Rainbow Dash arrived and asked her to do different things with them... she just couldn't decide."
"Yes," Haywick added, "and when I told her it was a shame she couldn't be in two places at once, a lightbulb appeared above her head and she said that it was a brilliant idea. And then she took off to Celestia-knows-where."
Ace scratched his chin in thought.
"Hmm..." he muttered, "... yep. She's definitely up to something. Keep an eye open for her, would you? I hate to think that something is bothering her, and that I can't help her with it."
Fluttershy and Haywick nodded.
"Thanks, guys." Ace said. "I owe you one."
He walked away with a smile on his face as a small sigh of relief escaped his lips.
***
"This is the life, right Dash?" Spark asked, as they each lazed on a sun lounger, the midday rays beating down on them both. "I tell ya, Pinkie sure is missing out on something great."
"Silly Sparky," Pinkie's voice called out, "how can I miss something if I'm there to enjoy it?"
The pegasus and the unicorn sat up with a start. They looked around and saw that Pinkie had appeared between the two of them, a huge grin on her face and an inflatable around her body.
"But," Dash said, "I thought you were going to the barn-raising with AJ and John? Won't they be upset you came here instead?"
"Nope, because I'm already on my way over there now!" Pinkie said cryptically. "I'll find out how the barn-raising went later."
Dash and Spark exchanged a puzzled look as Pinkie dived into the pool. After a brief moment, they shrugged and dove in after her.
***
Fluttershy and Haywick walked slowly along the road, taking in the scenery, the sunlight and the fresh air around them. As they walked, Haywick noticed something bouncing along the road ahead of them. He gently nudged Fluttershy and pointed towards it. As she peered intently at it, she noticed it was Pinkie Pie.
"Oh hello, Pinkie!" Fluttershy called out, causing the mare to stop in her tracks and cock her head towards them. "We were hoping we'd run into you. We're going away for a picnic. Would you like to come with us? It'll be so much fun!"
Pinkie's eyes widened in horror.
"Oh no!" she said hurriedly. "This is bad! I've already told Applejohn that I'd help her with the barn-raising! But I don't want to blow you off as well!... Gah! I need help!"
She shot off back the way she came, leaving Fluttershy and Haywick standing with perplexed expressions on their faces.
"Applejohn?" Haywick asked, mulling it over for a moment. "Is that the new collective name she's given to Applejack and John? Because it's quite clever, as it happens."
Fluttershy nodded.
"We'd better go find Ace." she said. "He'll no doubt want to know about this. Sorry, but the picnic will have to wait."
Haywick waved a hoof dismissively.
"It's not a problem, dear." he said. "As long as I'm with you, that's all that matters."
He planted a kiss on Fluttershy's cheek, causing her to squee and blush fiercely. The two of them then turned around and began the trek back into Ponyville to find Ace.
***
"Applejohn?" Ace said, looking bemused. "Are you absolutely sure that's what Pinkie said?"
Fluttershy nodded.
"We think it's a new collective nickname for the two of them." she replied. "It's actually quite clever."
"But Pinkie already has nicknames for them." Ace retorted. "She calls Applejack 'AJ' and John 'Johnny'. I've never heard her refer to the other couples like that. For example, I've never heard her refer to you and Haywick as something like 'Flutterwick' or 'Hayshy'. Or what about Geo and Twilight? She's never referred to them as 'Geolight' or 'Twidragon'."
Fluttershy and Haywick smiled politely as Ace realised he was going off on a tangent. He coughed awkwardly before continuing.
"My point is," he said, "that she doesn't have nicknames like that for anypony else. And if she did, she would tell me. I'm beginning to think that not all is well with Pinkie."
"You don't think it's Changelings again, do you?" asked Fluttershy nervously, glancing towards the sky.
Ace shook his head.
"No," he replied, "I have ways of detecting Changelings. If any were in town, I would be the first to know."
"So what could it be, Ace?" Haywick asked.
"I'm not sure, Haywick." Ace said. "But I intend to find out. Thank you for your help thus far. If you see her again, let me know."
Fluttershy and Haywick nodded and left, leaving a solemn-looking Ace standing in the middle of Ponyville scratching his chin.
***
At the edge of a pool outside of town, a pegasus and a unicorn were fast asleep on a sun lounger, their chests rising and falling in perfect unison, oblivious to the world around them.
Two pink hooves, each one holding a feather, snaked around to the front of each pony's face, moving the object back in forth under their muzzles. They both giggled and sneezed, the force startling them both awake as the hooves disappeared behind the lounger.
"What did you do that for?!" they said together.
"Me?" Dash said, pointing accusingly at Spark Plug. "You did something to me as well! I was having a great dream until you ruined it by tickling me with something!"
"No, you tickled me and woke me up!" Spark replied, before pausing for a moment and adding, "A dream, huh?... Was I in it?"
Dash glared at him for a moment before her face fell and she became focused on something behind him.
"Pinkie... Pies?" she said slowly.
Spark raised an eyebrow and turned around, only to come face-to-face with a pair of Pinkie Pies. Behind them, even more copies of the excitable pink pony were converging on the pool and a faint chant was building up into a crescendo.
"Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun!"
Quick as a flash, Dash leapt off the sun lounger and dove underneath it while Spark surveyed the scene in front of him. The chorus of "Fun!" grew ever louder as she covered her ears.
"Gah!" she cried. "This is crazy! I don't know where these Pinkie Pies came from, but I wish they'd all go away!"
Spark joined her underneath the sun lounger and covered his own ears. Amidst the chaos, none of the two noticed one of the Pinkies slinking away in the direction of Sweet Apple Acres, a small smile present on her face.
***
"Come on y'all," Applejack yelled through the rope between her teeth, "put yer backs into it!"
John and Big Macintosh grunted as the three of them pulled with all their might. As the barn wall rose slowly into place, the ground began shaking beneath them. They looked around worriedly as a large pink blob appeared on the horizon.
"What the hell?" John muttered, squinting his eyes. "Whoa... Pinkie Pies! Tons of them!"
As he spoke, one of the Pinkies leapt on his back, taking him by surprise. He gasped in shock and let go of his rope. The sudden change in weight caused Big Mac to grunt under the sudden strain. He spit his rope out as Applejack did the same. The wall section came down with a crash, followed by the rest of the barn as the farmyard was flooded with Pinkie Pies.
A look of fury crossed Applejack's face as the clones skipped away in the direction of Ponyville, chattering happily.
"Hey!" she shouted. "Y'all better get back here pronto and clean up this fuckin' mess ya made, ya hear me?!"
The Pinkies ignored her and continued on their way.
"HEY!" Applejack roared. "Ah said ta get back here right fuckin' now and clean this up!"
The Pinkies disappeared from view. Applejack's breathing was intense, and she was grinding her teeth. Big Macintosh simply stared at her in awe as John nervously approached her and laid a hand on her head.
"Are you all right, AJ?" he said. "Because that was the first time I've heard you drop the F-Bomb."
Applejack's demeanour softened slightly as she turned to look at him, chuckling heartily.
"Ah guess bein' married ta you has had a detrimental effect on mah vocabulary." she said coyly. "But still, we gotta go see Twilight. Maybe she'll know what's going on."
John nodded.
"Okay," he replied, "and I think we should let Ace know as well."
"All righty then." Applejack said. "Let's go. Are ya all right ta hold tha fort until we get back, Mac?"
"Eeyup."
"Good. Come on, John."
The two of them followed the path of the Pinkie cloud into town, not noticing a twinge of movement in a haystack they passed. A Pinkie popped her head out, tears in her eyes.
"I made AJ angry..." she said sadly, "... what have I done?"
***
The first thing I knew about there being something wrong in town was when the angry crowd of townsponies gathered outside the library, demanding to see Twilight. We both went outside, only to be bombarded with questions about Pinkie Pie's whereabouts. At the front of the crowd stood Rarity and Fluttershy.
"I take it you are both aware of the many Pinkie Pies causing trouble around town?" Rarity asked. "They came by the Boutique earlier and proceeded to cause a lot of damage! I am now a week behind schedule!"
"And they also ruined my picnic." Fluttershy added. "It took me hours to calm down all the animals they scared."
All at once the crowd began shouting their own story regarding harassment at the hooves of the Pinkie Pies, demanding that something be done about it.
Twilight tried to respond, but the crowd was too angry to listen. Taking a deep breath, I decided to give her what she needed.
"QUUUUUUUUUUUUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEET!"
A deathly silence descended as everypony stopped talking. I looked at Twilight, who smiled and nodded.
"I don't know what's going on here," she said, "but if you'll bear with me for a few moments, I'll find out."
The two of us walked into the library, where Spike was already taking books off the shelf for us to look through. Something caught his attention and he climbed into an alcove. We heard a click, and then Spike came out holding a book in his claws.
"I found this in a secret door, Twilight." he said, passing it to her. "I think it might be what you are looking for."
"How convenient." I muttered. Twilight hoofed my side and opened the book.
"The Mirror Pools." she said, reading the page. "Apparently, they can be used to make clones of somepony. There's a spell here to send them back... but there's a catch."
"Of course there is." Spike and I replied.
"If we can't figure out which of the Pinkies is the real one, we risk sending her back to the pools." Twilight said glumly. "That's just perfect. How the heck are we supposed to figure that out?"
"I'm not sure." I replied. "But we'll think of something. After all, we're the smart party!"
Twilight and Spike looked at me blankly.
"... forget it," I said, "let's just go."
We left the library and Twilight addressed the crowd of townsponies, who listened with rapt attention.
"We have a way of sending back the clones," Twilight said, "but we need to figure out which of them is the real one."
The crowd looked at us disbelievingly.
"And how do you plan on doing that?" Rarity asked.
I shrugged.
"We'll think of something." I said. "We're the smart party, after all!"
The townsponies looked at me as Twilight groaned. Given how hard he laughed, only John seemed to understand what I was referring to, which was hardly surprising.
"Come on." Twilight said. "Let's get started."
Twilight, Spike and I began walking along the road as the crowd of Pinkie Pies continued bouncing around merrily.
All of them, that is, except for one. She was sitting at a table by herself with a forlorn expression on her face.
"That's definitely not the real Pinkie Pie." Spike said, pointing at her. "She would never allow herself to get that sad."
We continued walking, but the Pinkie Pie at the table spoke up.
"If you want to know which of us is the real Pinkie," she said, "then you should set a test. Make us do something that is so dull and not fun, only the real Pinkie could possibly see it to the end."
The three of us stopped in our tracks as we contemplated the idea. The looks on each of our faces suggested that it was a good one, and we rushed off to tell the others about it.
***
As the Pinkie at the table watched them leave, she smiled.
"That was a good idea!" she said to herself, before a thought came to her. "... oh, no! What if I fail the test myself? I'll be sent to the pool, meaning I'd be separated from my friends!"
She hung her head dejectedly as tears began to fall.
***
We had managed to corral all of the Pinkie Pies into Town Hall. One of them, whom I recognised as the sad one who had suggested the test, was dragged in via her tail by Rainbow Dash.
Twilight managed to get them all to quieten down, and then she revealed the test they were to sit.
Watching paint dry.
"Oh, bloody hell." John muttered. "Psst, Ace. Give me another shot of your particle rifle. I want to fucking shoot myself."
Ace shushed him and turned his attention back to the Pinkies, who were now leaning forward and gazing intently at the wall of paint. Suddenly, one of them piped up.
"Hey look!" she squealed. "I can see a BIRD!"
Twilight's horn glowed as she charged the spell to send this clone back to the pool.
"Wait!" Ace said as he suddenly grabbed Twilight and threw off her concentration. "Let’s stop and think about this for a moment."
Twilight looked up at him skeptically.
"Why?" she asked. "The clones need to go back to the pond."
Ace relinquished his hold on my wife and marched over to the Pinkie who had revealed herself. She recoiled in fright as Ace pointed a finger at her dramatically.
"Do you wanna go back to the pond?" he demanded.
The scared clone shook her head.
"N-no…" she said nervously, "... n-not really."
"Why not?" Ace said, a gentler tone to his voice.
The Pinkie looked down.
"Because it’s dark, and scary, and lonely in there."
Ace cocked his head at her.
"Dark? Scary? Lonely?" he replied. "... even with the other clones?"
"We never see each other!" she exclaimed, before looking down. "Being in the lake, it’s like we're... drifting."
"Drifting?" Ace parroted.
The clone searched for the right words.
"It’s like when you’re in a boat in the middle of an ocean, with no way to steer it. There’s no one to talk to, it’s cold, and you’re blindfolded. You can’t feel anything, you can’t smell anything, and you never wash up to shore."
"So in other words," Ace said as he nodded in understanding, "you’re stuck in the void?"
The clone considered his description for a moment, before nodding.
"Yeah." she replied. "I guess you could say that."
Ace turned back to Twilight, and stood firmly between her and the clone. She raised an eyebrow at him questioningly, as did I.
"Twilight," he said, "based on what I just heard, I cannot in good conscience let you send them back there."
The others expressed their disbelief. The main argument was that if the clones stayed here, it could cause a lot of damage, and there was the risk that somepony could get hurt.
"Why not?! It’s where they belong!" Twilight explained.
Ace’s eyes narrowed as he folded his arms.
"I think you belong in prison, even though you haven’t committed any crimes." he announced. "Does that seem right to you?"
Although she could see the point Ace was trying to make, Twilight still tried to challenge his reasoning.
"But they’re clones, not actual ponies!" she said. "And how do you know they’re not just saying all of that stuff because they don’t want to leave!?"
Ace stood firm.
"If they’re just saying that because they don’t want to leave, then there must be a reason they fear going back." He raised his pointer finger, as if to state another point. "That’s another thing. They seem cognitive, they think, they feel joy, sorrow, and fear. I fail to see how they aren’t really ponies. Their only crime is ever having existed. And you want to imprison them for that."
Protests came up from the others.
"Doc, you don’t understand!" John said. "They’re ruining Ponyville!"
"Yeah!" Dash added. "We want our Pinkie Pie back!"
Ace put his hands up defensively.
"Hey," he said, "don't get me wrong. I miss Pinkie as much as you do, but this isn’t the way to deal with other living beings. This is execution, plain and simple. And I do not condone it."
Twilight sighed in defeat. She could see that there was no convincing Ace.
"Well then, what would you do?" she asked accusingly.
Ace looked back at the Pinkies, who had stopped watching the wall. All eyes were on him, and he began to pace, thinking. Then, his eyes shot up, and he smirked, an idea forming in his head.
"... take a page out of Superman’s book." he mumbled, before clapping his hands together. "Everypony, listen up! As you can probably tell by our conversation, it’s readily apparent that not every Pinkie can stay here. And because of that, the only one that can stay is the real Pinkie."
"I’m the real Pinkie!" the crowd exclaimed in unison.
"Of course you are," Ace said skeptically, "but let’s see if you sing the same tune after I give you this offer. I have created a portal to another universe. I can easily redirect that portal to more universes. Universes which are far more fun than Ponyville. I can transport each and every one of you to a new universe, where you can live out the rest of your lives doing all the fun things you want. The only one who can’t go is the real Pinkie. What say you?"
A murmur went through the Pinkie crowd, as they chattered excitedly amongst themselves.
"That still leaves room for doubt, Doctor." Twilight said.
Ace looked back at her.
"How so?" he enquired.
"While your offer might get some of the clones to fess up that they’re not the real Pinkie, what about the others?" Twilight replied. "The ones who want to stay in Ponyville, because they might have grown attached to it?"
"Hmm…" Ace thought, turning to the Pinkie Pies. Every Pinkie in the room was grinning ear-to-ear, excited at the prospect of going to a place more fun than Ponyville.
Every Pinkie except one, who had her ears flopped down, and was scraping her hoof across the floor. Ace smiled, and pointed at her.
"Hey, Sulky Pie." he called. "Come up here."
As the other Pinkies parted to look back at the indicated pony, the sad Pinkie looked up at Ace.
"Me?" she asked.
Ace nodded.
"Come up here." he repeated, wagging his finger for emphasis.
The Pinkie hesitantly trotted towards Ace, and looked up at him. Ace crouched down, and looked into her eyes. The Pinkie looked at him quizzically.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
Ace suddenly pointed at one of the other Pinkies.
"Are you the real Pinkie?" he asked her.
"Yep! I sure am!" she replied, bouncing eagerly on the spot.
"Then who am I?" Ace countered.
The Pinkie stopped, and thought for a moment.
"Uhh... you’re Ace Sorou?" she said. "You’re a doctor?"
"A doctor of what?" Ace asked.
"Umm..." the Pinkie flopped her ears back, and backed away sheepishly. "... I dunno."
His suspicions confirmed, he turned to the Pinkie in front of him and looked deep into her eyes. She returned his gaze intently.
"Who am I?" he repeated softly.
"You’re my Acey." the Pinkie answered, suddenly beaming. "You’re Lieutenant Doctor Ace Sorou. You have P.H.Ds in robotics, astrophysics, mechanics, and computer programming. Your birthday is two-hundred-ninety-five days from now, your favorite cake is vanilla topped with butter frosting, you like to study and talk wildly about history and science, and you think the speedo is the most comfortable swimsuit anyone could wear."
All the ponies, as well as John and I, looked over at Ace, who simply smiled and shrugged.
"Fillies and gentlemen," he said proudly, "we have a winner! This Pinkie is right on all accounts. Being that she’s the only Pinkie that doesn’t seem interested in going anywhere else, and the fact that she possesses such intimate knowledge about me, we can safely reach the conclusion that this is the real Pinkie Pie."
The rest of us sighed in relief as I looked at the clones.
"Well?" I asked. "What happens now?"
"Don't worry," Ace replied, "I have a plan..."
***
An hour later and Twilight, Applejack and myself were at Ace's lab. All the other Pinkies were there as well, corraled together while he tinkered with his portal, trying to find a universe they could go to.
Pinkie dictated a letter to Princess Celestia, saying that even though she has to choose which of her friends to spend time with, there are plenty more opportunities to spend time with the others. Twilight looked ecstatic as Pinkie rattled this off, beaming from ear to ear while she scribbled furiously.
It didn't take long for Ace to come across a suitable location to transport the other Pinkie Pies. Due to the sheer amount of energy stored in his lab, it was easy to activate a portal to the new universe, through which the Pinkie clones eagerly hopped through. For some reason, Ace also sent along two of his Tread-bots, and a red Doc-bot.
"Now why in tarnation are ya'll sendin' yer robots with 'em, doc?" Applejack asked.
"They’re not the real Pinkie Pie," Ace replied, "but they're close enough that I care what happens to them. The Tread-bots will build homes and a factory, while the Doc-bot will oversee the new base they set up."
"Why was it red?" Applejack continued.
"Because it was a member of my Loyal Guard." Ace said simply. "I told John about them a while back. So ask him for details if you're really that curious."
"He never mentioned them to me." I interjected.
"As I said," Ace muttered, "ask John for details."
Applejack and I exchanged a puzzled glance, but shrugged it off, deciding that we were probably better off not knowing.
The last clone skipped through the portal, which closed behind her. I saw Ace scribbling down its details, presumably so he could open it again should the need arise.
With the business done, we all looked at Pinkie.
"So what now, Pinkie?" I asked. "You wanna go and do something fun with us?"
Pinkie shook her head.
"Right now," she said with a yawn, "all I want to do is sleep."
And as she flopped onto her back, that's exactly what she did.
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Really Ace??? All those Pinkies and that didn't even cross your mind??
I accidentally read this in Gentleman Cho'Gath's Voice.
Too much League of Legends.
1880509 I'm pretty sure that thought DID cross his mind, which is why he was in such a rush to get all the Pinkies out of Ponyville ASAP. He wouldn't last past the first estrus cycle.
Edit: Death by Dominatrix Pinkie Clone Gangrape.
Aww.. Ace didn't send our universe a Pinkie
Ah-HHHHEM!
1883700
Hurrah, someone got one of the references!
I guess John and Geo are the only ones in that crowd who have seen Red Dwarf...
1889262
Huzzah! Someone spotted the other reference!
Here, you've earned this:
wow man that's awesome for him to do that instead of sending them back to the pond. awesome
Pinkie not wanting to do anyting fun SHE'S A CLONE!
Did anyone stop and think for a moment about how Pinkie being pregnant would change things? O.o... She is pregnant at this point in this story right? Not quite sure how the timeline of this one matches up to the timeline of the Doc's story.
Well nice description there Pinks.
hummm
