The Crystal Empire - Part Two (v1.1)
CHAPTER THREE
The Crystal Empire - Part One
Version 1.1
As Sombra advanced towards us, I glared at him and stood in front of Twilight and Dash, getting into a defensive pose as I did so. Both mares looked at me in horror. I felt something grabbing my shirt. The fluttering of wings soon told me that Dash was trying to pull me away. Unfortunately for her, the fact I was three times heavier than her made it a futile gesture.
"What are you doing?" Twilight said. "We need to hide!"
"I'm sick of being the fucking punching bag." I snarled. "If this fucker thinks that he can threaten my family and my friends, then he's got another thing coming!"
Sombra sensed my defiance, his face twisting into a gleeful smile. Suddenly, the shield sparked into life. Sombra hissed in pain as a part of his horn was caught in the shield, slicing it off. It landed on the ground and sunk into the earth as the shield re-appeared.
I stood down from my pose and looked at Twilight, who was glancing up at the balcony, where a clearly weakened Cadence was coaxing as much magic as she could out of her horn. Twilight looked at me with a forlorn expression on her face as the rest of the girls, along with Spike, John and Ace, arrived.
"I'm going to find the real Crystal Heart." Twilight stated. "Everypony else, you keep the fair going for as long as possible. Do not let the Crystal Ponies discover that this heart is a fake."
"Fake?!" chorused the others.
"Rainbow Dash will explain everything." Twilight replied. "Just keep the Crystal Ponies entertained, and we should be fine. I doubt it will take me all that long to find the real Heart."
She turned and started walking. Spike ran ahead of her and blocked her path, a determined looked on his face.
"I'm coming with you, Twilight!" he said.
"Likewise." I added. "I'd be failing you as a husband if I let you walk into Celestia-knows-what all by yourself. I made a promise on our wedding day that I would protect you, and I intend to keep that promise, come hell or high water."
"No!" Twilight replied, stomping a hoof for emphasis. "Princess Celestia told me that I needed to be the one to solve this problem. If I let you help me, then I fail! I can't let that happen."
"I never said anything about helping you with your test." I said. "I said I was going to protect you. Now enough stalling. Let's go, time's-a-wasting."
"I promise Twilight," Spike interjected, "we won't lift a claw, or a hand, to help you with your test. We'll just keep you safe."
Twilight smiled and nodded.
"Let's go." she said quietly.
She started walking just as Spike was enveloped in a blue aura of magic and floated over to Rarity, who proceeded to pepper his face with kisses.
"My brave little Spikey-Wikey!" she cooed. "Please, do be careful. And that goes for you two, as well."
"We will." I said. "You lot just keep the Faire going, got it?"
John saluted.
"You can count on us, mate!" he said.
Rarity put Spike down and, after he had managed to wobble his way over to us, the three of us set off. As we left, Rainbow Dash grabbed Fluttershy.
"Come on, Knight Fluttershy!" she said. "Let's joust."
Fluttershy swallowed nervously.
"B-b-but isn't that... dangerous?" she asked timidly.
"It is." Dash replied nonchalantly. "But the Crystal Ponies want a show, and by Celestia, I will give them one!"
She paused for a moment.
"And besides, Shy. Even if you do get hurt, you're dating a doctor. I'm sure he'll patch you up in no time."
Before Fluttershy could reply, Dash had grabbed her and began speeding towards the arena, leaving behind a slowly fading squeal.
***
John and Applejack stood beside the fake Heart, the former keeping a close eye on it, and shooing away anypony who came near it, such as an unfortunate couple who tried to peek under the cover, until a hand snatched it from them.
"No peeking!" John said sternly. "Wait until it's time! It wouldn't be fair on everypony else if I let you two have a sneaky look! Now, away with you... for now!"
The couple tutted and walked away. Applejack trotted over to her husband, who adopted a martial arts stance on hearing the hoofsteps on the ground.
"Er, sugarcube?" she asked. "Don't ya think y'all are takin' this guardin' business a tiny bit too far?"
John dropped his pose and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.
"Sorry, hon." he said. "You can take the man out of MI6, but you can't take MI6 out of the man." he sighed, before adding, "Oh well, at least nopony can say I didn't take my training seriously."
Applejack chuckled.
"No, Ah guess they can't." she replied. "But can ya at least try ta take it down a notch? Y'all are gettin' some serious glares from the folks ya turn away. And that ain't the kind of attention we need."
John nodded.
"I'll try." he said. "I just hope Twilight and the others are having a better time of it than we are."
"Twilight's a smart mare." Applejack reassured him. "Ah'm sure she and those boys have got it all figured out."
John looked towards the sky, and the ever-growing black clouds which dominated it.
"I hope you're right." he muttered.
***
Twilight galloped as fast as she could towards the castle, as Spike hung on to her neck for dear life. Bringing up the rear, I ran as fast as my legs would carry me, ignoring my lungs pleas for air.
"What do you... mean... Sombra hid the real... heart in his castle?" I said in between gasps and puffs. "Surely he'd... have hidden it... somewhere more... hidden?"
"That's just it!" yelled Twilight. "He hid it in the castle because he knew that nopony would dare to intrude within! It makes perfect sense! Now come on!"
We ran up the castle steps and soon made our way to the throne room. Twilight immediately began looking high and low for something, while I slumped against a wall to recover.
"What are you looking for, Twilight?" asked Spike.
"Even if somepony did enter the castle, there's no way Sombra would have let them have the Heart." Twilight replied. "He would have still hidden it away. That said, I am looking for anything that might open a hidden door."
"Good luck with that." I said, looking around. "There's loads of things in here that could do that. Books, lights, crystals..."
As I spoke, Twilight's eyes had become fixated on a particular crystal. She gazed at it with curiosity.
"What is it?" I asked.
"When she was giving me my test," she replied, "she told me about what Sombra did to the Empire. She said that he corrupted all the crystals which give this place its name, turning them dark. They were all returned to normal when the Empire vanished... all except for this one. Princess Celestia also showed me a spell to unlock the secrets of these crystals. That said... stand back."
I did as I was asked, and watched as Twilight's eyes turned a sickly green colour. Spike and I both gasped as a dark beam of light shot out from her horn, blasting the crystal with a large amount of force. A deep rumbling beneath our feet prompted us to move, as the floor suddenly gave way, revealing a spiral staircase.
Twilight's eyes returned to normal, and she looked at the staircase, which descended into blackness. Picking up a small piece of rubble, she dropped it into the abyss. It hit the ground a good two minutes later, telling us the staircase was quite large.
"I'm going down there." she said. "You two stay here and keep an eye on the Crystal Faire."
"But—" I started.
"No buts." Twilight said sternly. "Just do it."
I knew better than to argue with her, having seen what she was capable of when angry, such as levitating an entire library. I grumbled to myself and went over to the window, followed by Spike, who was almost as displeased as I was. We watched as Twilight set about walking down the stairs, lighting her horn to guide her, before turning our attention to the scene outside.
As we watched, the shield began to flicker as Cadence's magic faltered once again. The next thing Spike and I heard was a series of bumps and grunts. We rushed over to the staircase just in time to see a small purple light bouncing off the walls.
"Looks like Twilight felt that." I said.
"That's not the only thing she felt." Spike muttered.
I snorted out a laugh. Spike looked at me quizzically, before a smile spread over his face and he burst out out laughing. Soon, we were both holding our sides. I felt bad for laughing at Twilight's misfortune, but I'd already had a book fall on my head, so I needed something to raise my spirits. I told myself I'd make it up to her.
Our laughter was soon cut short by Twilight crying out. Sitting bolt upright, Spike and I exchanged a look, before we both ran for the stairs, shoving each other out the way as we raced to get there first. Soon, we were both falling down the endless stairs.
For some reason, as we fell, I found myself thinking about something I had seen on TV... and how much I would kill for one.
As funny as that particular program was, your wife needs you! SNAP OUT OF IT!
Landing at the bottom of the stairs, Spike and I both looked up to see Twilight sitting in front of a door. Her eyes were green, much like when she had cast that spell, but she appeared to have no control over her body.
"I-I-I failed? I can't be your student any more?" she said tearfully. "No, you... you don't mean that!"
"What the hell?" I muttered. "Spike, snap her out of it!"
"Got it!"
He ran over and grabbed Twilight's head, pulling it towards him. As soon as the door was out of her line of sight, she snapped out of her trance, looking pleased to see Spike.
"Are you okay, Twilight?" he asked. "You looked really out of it."
Twilight nodded as Spike turned to face the door.
"What's up with this door any— ... no. NO! Twilight, don't leave me! Please, don't leave me!"
"Spike?" I said. "Spike!... oh, fucking hell."
I marched over and grabbed Spike and Twilight, tossing them lightly away from the door. They immediately hugged each other, Twilight assuring her assistant that she would never leave him.
Then I did something stupid. I looked into the door myself.
I was in a padded cell, wearing a straitjacket and muttering various things about unicorns, pegasi, magic, ponies, Equestria... and Twilight. All the while, I was being watched by a man in a white coat, who was shaking his head and taking notes.
The next thing I remember, Twilight had slammed the door shut and blasted it with her own magic.
"Enchanted door." she said. "It makes anypony who looks through it see their worst fear. For me, that was failing Princess Celestia and her dismissing me as her student. For Spike, it was me telling him to leave, and for you... I assume that for you, none of this was real and you were in a hospital somewhere?"
I nodded.
"Not so much a hospital," I said, "as an asylum."
Twilight shuddered.
"Well we all know that those fears are never going to come true." she said. "Now, let's go get that heart!"
She opened the door, which was now just a door after she blasted it, and we stepped through.
Only to come across yet another staircase.
"Fucking hell." I groaned. "What is it with this prick and stairs? What, are they a fetish of his or something?"
"I can tell you don't want to tackle them," Twilight said, "so go and help with the Faire."
"No." I said sternly. "I said I would help you, and—"
"— and you have." Twilight said, finishing my sentence, though not in the way I was hoping. "You've done enough for me down here. Now you can go back up and help the rest of our friends."
I looked into her eyes. They were practically pleading with me. I nodded dejectedly and pulled her into a hug.
"Be careful." I whispered. "I love you."
"I love you too." she replied. "Now, brace yourself."
"For wh—"
Before I could finish, Twilight had teleported me back to where the fake heart was, which startled John and Applejack.
"What the—?!" John gasped. "... oh, it's you mate. What's up? Did you find it? Where are Twilight and Spike?"
"They're not done yet." I replied. "My lovely wife felt I could do more good up here. So, I intend to."
As I looked around, my eyes picked up the bizarre sight of Fluttershy, wearing a set of armour, being thrown into the air. The faint sounds of a thud and a squeal of agony reached my ears soon after, and a smile appeared on my face as I pointed at John.
"I just remembered," I said, "that I owe you an arse kicking for thoroughly annihilating me at Laser Tag. So, I challenge you to a jousting match."
John's mouth fell open and he stared at me.
"Are you..." he stuttered, "... oh, Celestia. You're serious."
I nodded.
"The masses need to be entertained," I said, "and what better way to do that than the sight of two grown men running around pretending to be knights? Granted, real knights would use steeds, but I don't think the locals would appreciate it if we rode them like ... well, horses."
John smirked.
"I'm not sure." he said slyly, glancing at Applejack. "Applejack doesn't seem to mind when I ri—"
Applejack quickly reared up and stuck a hoof over his mouth.
"Finish that sentence, pardner," she hissed, "and Ah swear ta Celestia, Ah will buck you so hard, yer ancestors will feel it!"
John nodded, though I could tell that he really wanted to finish making his joke. Applejack removed her hoof and John puffed out his chest. He looked at me and crossed his arms.
"Challenge accepted." he said.
***
Upon arriving at the arena, John and I soon realised that the Crystal Empire, having never heard of humans until now, wouldn't exactly stock armour for them. So, we had to duel without it. Not that John cared.
"If I can handle a highly-advanced particle rifle," he gloated from the opposite end of the arena, "then I'm pretty sure I can handle a giant pointed stick."
I glared at him, clutching my own lance to my chest. Dash, acting as referee, took her place in the middle.
"Are you guys ready?" she yelled.
"Yes!" John and I called back.
"Then... JOUST!"
Dash flew up out of the way as John and I rushed each other. As usual, he had taken it a bit too far, and was screaming at the top of his lungs.
It was because of this, he left himself wide open for my attack. As we met, I struck out with the lance, hitting him right in the chest with it. The wood splintered and cracked as John hit the ground, groaning in agony.
"Geo wins!" Dash yelled. "Dude, that was awesome!"
"Paybacks a bitch!" I yelled back. "Isn't it Johnny?"
John stuck a thumb up weakly and groaned.
"Who's next?!" I shouted. "I'm pumped up!"
Ace stepped forward with his hand raised.
"I'll fight you." he said.
Awww, fuck.
***
Twilight and Spike trudged up the stairs, which seemed to have no end to them. Both mare and dragon were tired and sweating. But still they persevered.
"When will it end?" Spike groaned. "I'm just glad Geo isn't here. I don't think he would have enjoyed this. No, wait. I think he should be here. His moaning would certainly make me feel less down."
Twilight stopped walking.
"Down?" she repeated.
"Um, Twilight?" Spike asked. "What's up?"
"Down... upside-down! Spike, you're a genius!" she cried. "These stairs aren't ending because it's another one of Sombra's spells! The Heart isn't up... it's down!"
Her horn sparked to life, and suddenly the two of them were on the underside of the stairs... and sliding down them.
"This is much better!" Twilight said with a smile. "Don't worry, Spike! It'll be all over soon!"
"I certainly hope so!" Spike replied, as he held onto Twilight's neck for all that he was worth.
***
I lay on the floor in a crumpled heap as Ace stood over me with a smug look on his face.
"Do you surrender?" he asked.
I nodded weakly. Getting defeated by him once was bad. Five times was embarrassing. But fifteen times was downright humiliating.
What the hell isn't he good at?
I ignored my body's protests and stood up, stretching my arms as far as I could. I cast my eyes skyward, and baulked at the sight of the sky. It was now almost entirely black. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Rarity frantically assembling hats out of anything she could get her hooves on.
Unfortunately, my staring at the sky prompted the Crystal Ponies to do the same. Their eyes widened in fear at the sight above them, and they immediately broke into a stampede. The solid mass of panicky ponies surrounded the 'Crystal Heart', preparing to do... whatever it was they did.
The shield began to flicker again, and soon all eyes were on the balcony. Just in time to see Cadence collapsing again.
Although in hindsight, maybe Pinkie Pie should have gotten off the ball she was balancing on, as well as put down the flugelhorns she was juggling. Her concentration broken, she fell off the ball into a heap on the ground. One of the horns flew through the air... and hit the fake heart.
Which promptly fell off its stand and skidded across the floor, coming to a stop in front of the stunned Crystal Ponies.
"This... this isn't the Crystal Heart." one of them said mournfully.
Rarity came out from behind her booth.
"Don't worry, everypony!" she said cheerfully. "The real heart is—"
"— on the way!" Applejack interrupted.
Rarity facehoofed and sidled up to Applejack.
"If you had let me finish," she hissed in the farmer's ear, "I was going to tell them that it was away being polished."
Applejack's face fell.
"At least you were being honest, hon." John said reassuringly.
The flickering intensified as Sombra reared his — quite frankly hideous — head and bellowed with laughter.
... and then all hell broke loose.
***
Twilight and Spike reached the top of the Crystal Palace, much to the latter's delight. He kissed the ground eagerly as Twilight locked eyes with the real Crystal Heart, which was suspended above a wide circular disc.
"Finally!" Twilight said. "Now to deliver this to Princess Cadence."
"And just in time, too!" Spike said. "The shield has failed, and Sombra is advancing! We don't have much time!"
Twilight took a deep breath and stepped on to the disc. Suddenly, a roar erupted across the Empire.
"No!" Sombra bellowed.
The ground beneath Twilight's hooves began rumbling. Grabbing the heart, she tossed it aside... just as she was surrounded by Sombra's dark crystals. She tried to break them, but found to her dismay that her magic was being cancelled by the dark magic.
"Spike," she said mournfully, "you have to be the one to deliver the Heart. Can you do it?"
Spike looked at her with dread in his eyes.
"But, Twilight." he said. "You'll fail your test!"
Twilight hung her head.
"I know." she said. "But I can't let Sombra win. Please, Spike. Deliver the heart to Cadence. I'll explain everything to Princess Celestia when the time comes."
Spike nodded and grabbed the heart, stepping over to the edge of the Palace. Looking down, he saw that Sombra's magic had created a staircase of dark crystals leading all the way down. With a deep breath, and thoughts of Rarity in his head, he began his descent.
***
I was standing on the balcony with the others, as we looked down on the frantic crowd below, all of whom had lost their bright colouring. Some of them were even shouting that because Sombra had returned, we had failed them. Which I felt was a bit harsh, given everything we had done.
But even a Princess has her limits, and soon the last wisps of magic faded from her horn, leaving nothing behind. Soon the shield around us collapsed entirely, and an eager King Sombra began his advance into the heart of the Empire. However, something caught his attention. He seemed to be fixated on a particular spot, so we glanced up as well, to see what he was looking at.
We soon began to wish we hadn't.
Rarity let out a shriek as we saw Spike gingerly picking his way down the makeshift staircase. Sombra roared in fury and began charging towards the defenceless dragon.
"Shining Armour!" I shouted, pointing at Spike. "Help him!"
As we watched, we saw Spike drop something small and blue. We immediately recognised it to be the Crystal Heart. Shining Armour cradled Cadence in his forehooves. Weakly, she opened her eyes.
Suddenly, Rarity shrieked again. We watched in horror as Spike fell off the crystal he was on, and plummeted to the ground.
"The Heart is mine!" Sombra roared.
A spark in Cadence's eyes caught my attention. I looked around to see Shining Armour holding his wife above his head.
With an almighty grunt, he launched her into the air. We all gasped with a mixture of awe and shock as Cadence sailed through the air, unfurling her wings and rocketing towards Spike.
"I can't look!" Rarity cried, turning her head away.
***
As Spike fell, he became aware of many things. As well as his impending doom, he was aware of his friends watching in horror from the nearby balcony. He was aware of Rarity hiding her gaze.
He was not, however, aware of the pink alicorn who grabbed him and the Crystal Heart from mid air, until he noticed he was going sideways instead of down.
"Huh?!" he spluttered, looking down. "P-Princess Cadence?"
Cadence simply looked back at him and smiled as she begun her descent into the centre of the Empire.
***
"Rarity, it's okay!" John said. "Cadence got him and the Heart!"
Rarity peeked out from behind her hooves and looked out over the city. She breathed a sigh of relief as she caught sight of Spike on Cadence's back, as she descended gracefully into the city, much to the delight of the Crystal Ponies.
"It's the Crystal Princess!" one of them cried as Cadence touched down, allowing a grateful Spike to slide off her back... as well as kiss the ground for the second time that day. Using her magic, Cadence place the real Crystal Heart on the pedestal, before smashing the fake one underhoof. She made a mental note to apologise to Twilight for ruining her hard work.
"The Crystal Heart has returned." she proclaimed. "Use the light and love within you to ensure that King Sombra does not!"
All at once, the Crystal Ponies returned to their vivid colours and bowed before their Princess. The Crystal Heart began spinning, much to Sombra's disdain.
"No! NO!" he roared. "I will not be defeated again!"
A blinding flash of light erupted from the Heart, covering the entire Empire in its glow. Sombra roared in agony as the light enveloped him. On the balcony, the Elements of Harmony, Spike and Shining Armour became coloured just as the Crystal Ponies were, although the three humans seemed to be untouched.
Once the light was cleared, Sombra — as well as his dark crystals — were gone for good.
***
A flash of purple from the corner of my eye caught my attention. I turned towards it, only for my vision to be entirely filled with purple as Twilight tackled me.
As I hugged her, I noticed her new colouring. She was a brighter shade of purple than before, and it looked really fetching.
"You did it, babe!" I said. "Sombra is defeated, and order has been restored!... Also, I love your new look. It makes you look even cuter than usual. I hope it's permanent."
"You're not the only one, mate." John muttered as he ran his fingers through Applejack's mane.
Twilight sighed.
"I didn't do anything." she muttered. "It was Spike who delivered the Heart, not me. I failed my test."
"Don't talk like that." I said firmly. "I'm sure Princess Celestia will understand when you tell her."
"You hope." Twilight said flatly.
I didn't reply to that, instead preferring to run my hands through her mane in an attempt to comfort her.
***
The journey back to Canterlot had been uneventful. Much to my dismay, Twilight's new colouring only seemed to take effect in the Crystal Empire. So as soon as we were out of the area, she returned to normal. Not that I'm complaining — she looks cute to me no matter what she looks like — but I was hoping to get adventurous at some point.
I was waiting outside the Canterlot Palace with the others, as we patiently waited for my wife to come out and tell us that she had passed... or that she had failed. We were all hoping for the former.
The doors creaked open and Twilight came out. She approached us slowly with a crestfallen look on her face... which soon gave way to a huge smile.
"I passed!" she squealed. "Princess Celestia praised me for using my initiative in getting Spike to deliver the heart, rather than waste time attempting to break free of the prison. She's proud of me... and I'm proud of us. I couldn't have done it without you!"
We all cheered... and then Rarity began singing another song. A song which, to my considerable horror, I found myself singing along with.
"Well, that was certainly something." I said finally.
"Yes." replied Twilight. "It was. I never knew you had such a wonderful singing voice."
"Me neither." I deadpanned.
We all shared a laugh as we walked away from the palace.
Happy to be home at last.
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Crystal Pinkie is best Pinkie.
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1801079 where did you get that? I've been looking everywhere...
1802144
Tumblr.
John, keep talking like that, AJ said she'll buck you if you do!! I don't she knows the other meaning of the word!!!
Also.
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Lol, Sombra's stairs!!!!
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This just deserves all the yes
u sir are just too good at this
"Come on, Knight Fluttershy!" she said. "Let's joust."
Fluttershy swallowed nervously.
"B-b-but isn't that... dangerous?" she asked timidly.
"It is." Dash replied nonchalantly. "But the Crystal Ponies want a show, and by Celestia, I will give them one!"
God forbid i remember that clop fic
OK, I've gotten to the end of the CE arc, and I have seen very little mention of Geo and Twilight's children. Are they with their grandparents during AJ and John's wedding and the CE trip, or what?
mmmm
Ace is a total bad ass!
I wish Geo had some powers
Would have been punnier if she had been all like: 'Then joust do it already!'
Video is broken.
Just want to let you know.