A Matter Of Opinion (v1.1)
John stared back at the group of ponies in front of him, each of them giving him a look of disapproval. In the background, the Apple Family Reunion was in full swing. Music was playing, ponies were catching up, food was being consumed and foals were playing happily. Applejack stood by John's side.
"Now," she said, "y'all said in yer letters that ya got a problem with me bein' married ta John here. Well we're all gonna sit here and go through yer concerns... so that we can put 'em ta rest once and fer all. Mark mah words, everypony, that your opinion of mah husband here will change for the better by the end of this here reunion."
"And what if our opinions don't change?" one of the ponies asked, "What will you do then?"
Applejack glared at them.
"Then Ah won't consider ya ta be family any more." she said viciously, "Tha whole point of this here meetin' is ta get ya to realise that John ain't as bad as y'all are making him out as. Ah wouldn't have married him if'n Ah didn't care for him, and if none of you can see that what we have is real, then ya can buck off."
The assorted family members gasped at Applejack's outburst and opened their mouths to reply before John gave them a hard stare, causing them to back down.
"Here's how this is going to go down." he said coldly, "One by one you are going to tell me exactly what your fucking problem is, and then I'm going to destroy whatever arguments you put to me."
"Do ya want me ta stay sugarcube," Applejack asked, "or would ya rather do this yourself?"
John scratched her behind the ears and gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead, much to the visible disgust of her family.
"I'll be fine," he replied, "but you, on the other hand, are needed elsewhere. Granny Smith gave you a lot of work to do, and I know you don't like leaving things unfinished."
Applejack nodded.
"Alrighty then," she said, "Ah'll go see how Apple Bloom is doin' with her cousin Babs. Ah'll be back later."
She shot her family a contemptuous look and trotted away. John leaned back in his seat and crossed one leg over the other, his fingers making a pyramid shape.
"Right," he said, "the sooner we get this done the sooner you can go back to enjoying the reunion. We'll go in the order in which I read your letters. So Apple Seed, you're first. I believe you see me as some kind of mindless creature?"
Apple Seed nodded hesitantly.
"But now that I've met you in person," she replied, "I can see that you are anything but. So I apologise for my remarks."
"Well then," John said sarcastically, "it would seem that we're getting somewhere. But you're also worried about something else, aren't you?"
The mare shuddered at John's tone of voice before replying.
"Foals," she whispered, "I'm worried that you and Applejack won't be able to produce healthy foals."
John leaned forward and planted his elbows on the table.
"My friend Geo," he replied, "is married to Twilight Sparkle. He's a human just like me, and yet they've managed to produce not one, but two healthy unicorn foals. So if they can do it, what's stopping AJ and I from doing the same? Hell, we might even make triplets!"
"Twilight Sparkle is a unicorn," Apple Seed mumbled, "so she could have used her magic to—"
John slammed a fist into the table, causing everypony nearby to yelp in fright.
"Don't you even think about saying that Twilight used her magic to change how her children looked." he hissed, "You and I both know that level of magic is beyond even her. I've read books, Apple Seed, and I know that only alicorns are capable of doing such a thing. And I highly doubt that Celestia, Luna or Cadence would want to, as each of them cares about Twilight in her own way."
Apple Seed tried to reply but instead spluttered incoherently. John looked her in the eyes and grinned.
"Let me guess," he said flatly, "you knew this but assumed that I couldn't read, so therefore wouldn't know any of this information?"
Apple Seed nodded, a single tear rolling down her cheek.
"Then it would appear that your opinion of me is unfair," John said smugly, "wouldn't you agree?"
"I'm sorry." Apple Seed choked. "I just... I mean I... I have no words to explain how I acted. I can see now that you care a lot about Applejack. If you'll take it, I offer you my support."
John leaned back in the chair again and nodded.
"I accept your support." he grinned, "Now get out of here and enjoy the reunion, you daft mare."
Apple Seed took off as fast as her hooves would carry her as John turned his attention to the next pony.
"Braeburn." he said calmly, "I believe you actually gave Applejack and I your support but were worried about the rest of the family back in Appleoosa, correct?"
Braeburn nodded.
"If Ah can be honest," he said, "Ah was actually sent here ta keep tabs on ya an' make sure ya didn't do anythin' stupid. But just like Apple Seed, Ah can see that you an' AJ go together like apples and pastry. Ya have mah word that the folks back home will hear about how much of a good guy y'are."
John nodded.
"Thanks Braeburn," he replied with a genuine smile, "that means a lot to us. Now off you go and have fun. Come find me later and I'll get you a cider."
Braeburn rose from his seat before tipping his hat and walking away. He turned to the next pony in the queue.
"Red Gala," he said, "I believe that your problem stems from the fact you were unfortunate enough to meet my brother?"
Red Gala nodded.
"Well you're not the only one who has that problem." John snapped, "Because Aunt and Uncle Orange here also feel the same way you do. Isn't that right folks?"
The mare and stallion both nodded.
"So you think that because my brother had issues with violence, I am the same?" John asked, "You think that one of these days I'm just going to pull out a weapon and start killing my friends?"
The three ponies nodded, causing John to narrow his eyes and fold his arms as he glared at them.
"Well it seems only natural to fear something when you don't understand it." he said, "Derek was no exception. Up until he turned sixteen, he was actually a really nice guy. But then he fell in with a bad crowd who got him mixed up in all sorts of bad things. It started with mugging people on the street and slowly progressed to armed robbery and assault."
"When he was eighteen, he and a friend were in the middle of robbing a shop. The owner disappeared under the counter and came back up carrying a rifle. He blasted Derek's friend with it, causing him to run away. That incident changed him for the worst."
"He started having nightmares about that day, watching as his friend died before his very eyes. Those nightmares consumed his mind. I went into his room one night after he woke up screaming and he hit me, screaming that I was 'the bastard who killed Tom'. In other words, he thought I was that shopkeeper. When our father came in Derek tried to hit him too, again screaming about Tom."
"He then opened the window and climbed out. He was missing for three days before the police finally found him. He had gone back to that shop... and killed the owner in cold blood. He told the officers who arrested him that 'it was what Tom wanted'. The officers took this to mean that he was schizophrenic and had him committed to an asylum, where he stayed for seven years."
"He came out and tried to get his life back together, but failed. He couldn't get a job due to his convictions and mental history and fell back in with a gang. On the night he shot Geo he and his friends Frank, Hugh and Edward had just robbed another shop. But the event had brought back memories of that night. So when Geo shouted at Derek about his driving, that tipped him back over the edge and into the abyss."
Red Gala and both Oranges sat in horrified silence, their jaws hanging open slightly as John continued his story.
"Truth be told I never was much of a brother to him." he said, "I always teased him in one way or another and generally made his life hell. In a way that contributed to his mental state. I guess the point I am trying to make is this: Derek's mental health problems and acts of violence are not hereditary. They are the result of his life... and my actions. Ever since he died I have been visiting his grave to pay my respects and hope that one day he will be able to forgive me for how I acted."
The three ponies nodded in understanding.
"I had no idea." Red Gala said hesitantly, "It's easy to make assumptions on somepony just because of how somepony else acted. I can see in your eyes that you regret how you treated your brother, and that you do care for him deep down. Just as much as you care for Applejack."
John nodded.
"And I can assure you Oranges," he said, "that the only time I would raise my fists in anger is if AJ or my friends were in danger. I stood up to King Sombra for fuck sake, so I have no qualms about doing the same to anyone who would dare threaten us."
Aunt Orange smiled.
"You're a good man at heart," she said, "and you have shown me that I was wrong to judge you."
"As was I." Uncle Orange added, "We were worried about AJ being married to a vicious brute... whereas you are anything but. Can you forgive us for our misguided opinions, and accept our support?"
Both Oranges and Red Gala looked at John pleadingly. He smiled broadly and nodded.
"Of course I can." he said with a laugh, "Now get on out there and make some memories, damn it!"
The three ponies waved as they trotted away, leaving just a single stallion at the table. John wiped his brow as he addressed him.
"So Caramel Apple," he said, "you disapprove of AJ and I being together because it doesn't fit in with your traditionalist values?"
Caramel nodded.
"When I say 'traditionalist'," he replied, "I meant in the sense of you not being a pony. However looking at you now I can see that that doesn't matter. Love is also traditional, and I can see that you and AJ are practically full of the stuff. If there were any Changelings here they'd be ready to burst by now!"
John looked at him blankly.
"So that's it?" he asked, "You're going to change your mind just like that? Whatever happened to 'surprise me at the reunion'?"
"You did," Caramel chuckled, "because nopony has ever managed to get stubborn Aunt and Uncle Orange to change their minds about something before."
With those words he got up from the table and left, laughing merrily as he went and leaving behind a very bemused John.
***
"So Apple Bloom," John asked, "how are you enjoying the reunion so far? It's a load of fun, right?"
"Ah wouldn't know," Apple Bloom snapped, "because Ah ain't had a chance ta enjoy it! Applejack keeps tellin' me ta do all sorts of things, when all Ah want ta do is talk with mah cousin!"
Apple Bloom indicated the filly standing next to her. She looked up at John and smiled sheepishly.
"Well," he said, "it's good to see that you and Babs are getting along at least, even if you haven't had a chance to talk. And now that you mention her... where is AJ anyway?"
"Ah don't know," Apple Bloom replied, "but as long as Ah get some peace an' quiet, she can stay there! If Ah have ta eat one more apple fritter or run another race, Ah'll scream!"
John stifled a laugh.
"Come on Babs!" Apple Bloom said, "Let's get outta here before Applejack finds us!"
The two of them waved to John and ran off. He looked around the farm, occasionally catching the eye of a family member who would grin and wave cheerfully at him.
Glad to see that the family have finally accepted me.
A shrill scream suddenly cut through the air. John let out a small chuckle as he glanced in the direction Apple Bloom and Babs had run off in.
"Looks like AJ found them after all," he said to himself, "I'd better go and see if I can't get them out of... is that a dust cloud?"
He squinted his eyes and looked towards the horizon where a large cloud of dust was rising from the dirt trail leading to the farm.
As he watched, a cart full of ponies came over the hill. The occupants, as well as the ponies pulling it, suddenly jumped off as a multi-coloured swarm of bats followed behind. The cart careened over the hill and fell victim to gravity as it fell, crashing into the barn at a high rate of speed. A loud creak filled the air and the bats flew away, before the barn collapsed into a cloud of dust.
"Fucking hell!" John shouted, "Way to jinx us, Dash!"
He sprinted over to the ruined barn, where he was met by a tearful Applejack. She ran over to him and wrapped herself around his waist before nuzzling his legs.
"Ah've ruined everything." she muttered, "The reunion is a disaster because Ah didn't think it through properly. An' now the barn is ruined... dangit Rainbow!"
"Funny," John replied, "I thought the same thing about Dash. And you haven't ruined the reunion AJ. You just got excited in the heat of the moment and made a couple of silly mistakes. Nopony is going to hold it against you."
Applejack looked up at him, her green eyes puffy and red.
"You're right darlin'," she said, "Ah shouldn't beat mahself up about this. But the fact remains mah actions got the barn destroyed."
Applejack looked over the crowd which had gathered around the rubble. Removing her hat she addressed them in a sombre tone.
"Ah'm sorry everypony." she said, "Ah honestly thought that Ah was makin' this the best reunion ever. But all Ah did was ruin Granny's quilt, make everypony eat too many fritters and tire out the kids."
She placed her hat back on her head as a small smile came to her lips. John looked at her worriedly.
"But Ah have an idea of how Ah might salvage this. But... Ah'll need your help. So can Ah count on mah family ta give me their support one more time?"
Everyone nodded.
"Yee-hoo!" Applejack cheered. "Then come on everypony, let's have us a good ol' fashioned barn-raisin'!"
The family immediately began gathering the ruined wood while Applejack began singing a jaunty song.
The song finished with Apple Bloom shouting "Yeah!". The assorted family then broke into applause.
"Thank ya very much everypony," Applejack said tearfully, "Ah couldn't have done it without ya! And who knew mah wonderful husband had such a lovely speaking voice?"
John laughed nervously.
"Don't tell the guys," he said, "I kinda made a bet with them that I wouldn't be caught singing."
Applejack looked over his shoulder and stifled a giggle.
"Sorry darlin'," she said, "but Ah think they might know by now."
John looked behind him. Upon seeing what Applejack was looking at, he let out a loud groan.
"Ace and his fucking BIRDS..." he muttered.
***
"Thanks fer comin'! See ya next year!"
"Bye!"
As the last carriage left, Applejack slumped her shoulders while John cracked his knuckles.
"Hoo-whee!" Applejack said, "What a day that was! But at least the family have come ta accept ya."
John smiled and the two of them went upstairs. As they got into bed, John nudged Applejack gently.
"Can you wake me up when you do?" he asked.
"Uh sure..." Applejack raised an eyebrow, "... but why?"
John grinned.
"I'm going BIRD hunting..."
The two of them stared at each other for a moment before laughing out loud and settling down for the night, wrapped in each other's loving embrace. Before she fell asleep, a single thought crossed Applejack's mind.
Ah knew he'd win 'em round...
And so John becomes the third human to sing a song, thus completing that 'set' I mentioned in the previous chapter.
Also, double update! 
I bet you weren't expecting that!
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2127459
I don't think Geo is going to give a damn about his wife's promotion.
Because he'll be getting one too.
2127471
Yes, I know. If he didn't, it wouldn't be fair.
Also, yay John! Next up, meeting Q! I mean, Discord. A question: Have any of the humans, I'm looking at you Ace, seen Star Trek:TNG?
2127459 I AM STAYING UP UNTILL THE NEW EP STARTING NOW
2127471 Oh boy I wonder how will thet work out for Geo and Twilight.
2127673
...I'm checking to see wether you got all the family memmbers right...
2127893
The family members John is talking to are the same ones who wrote the letters in Chapter Five. I only wrote two of said letters, while the other three are reader submissions. But I checked the Wiki before writing my letters.
2127907ot so shoure about Caramell though...
2127921
I didn't write his letter, so don't blame me if it turns out he's not in the family.
2127949
k
well done! now only a few more episodes left to alter!
2127709
I know. I was just giving you a hard time.
Though I would've thought that the laughing RD emoticon would've given it away...
2128722
You actually think I didn't notice that? I was joking too, silly!
2129607
Your computer works? Does this mean that you'll update soon?
2129708
I really botched my joke perception roll, eh?
2134807
The 'Alternate Universe' tag is there for a reason you know.
EDIT: Congratulations on getting the 100th comment!
Damn, I was hoping for one of them to want to fight, to see how much he could protect AJ!!
2127471 I guess you could say they are going to wing it, from now on???
2134812 100th comment? Does this mean that I won the internet?
And here's a thought for you to consider. As none of us actually work on the show (as far as I know anyway), shouldn't ALL stories be considered "Alternate Universe"?
2127471 Other then a snarky comment on being 'royally fucked'
Just as epic as any of your stories Geo
YO Buddy! Get this outta the Rainbow Dash group if it hasnt got Rainbow Dash as a tag!!
Like he 2168652 said you can't add this to the Rainbow Dash group if it hasn't it Rainbow Dash as either a main character or a tag so take out all four of your stories from that group coz you don't need them there in the first place
2168682 glad someone agrees
2168682
2168740
Do you even read?
She IS one of the main characters in this. Just because I didn't tag her doesn't mean she's not there. I used the Mane Six tag, she's part of the Mane Six, ergo she's in the story.
Logical thinking. It's BRILLIANT!
I see no mention of Rainbow Dash in there
2168796
Obviously you didn't read hard enough.
Still needs the Dash tag to add it to the group though
2168818
And as I said to your friend, that was not made clear in the group description.
As far as I can see there is no problem here, and you are both kicking up a fuss over nothing.
Just Fuckin remove them
2168865
Why don't you do it?... Oh right, YOU'RE NOT A GROUP ADMIN.
So until the admin tells me to remove them, or does it themself, they're staying right where they are. And being abusive towards me won't get you what you want.
TAKE THE AU TAG OFF OF THIS, GEO! I DEMAND IT!
No, but seriously, Twilicorn is a tag, so this doesn't need to be labeled AU.
2172620
It's labelled AU because of the Too Many Pinkie Pies chapter. It ends in a different way to the actual episode it is set during, hence the AU tag.
That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!
2173456 FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
What if that wasn't Ace's BIRD? Dun Dun Dun!!!
Going to be honest here, I read clop, and I find it really funny that it had the same song that this story does, except a little differently renditioned
Come on Apples," Applejack yelled, "get 'er done!" I see what you did there, maybe. correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe that's a 'Larry the cable guy' reference.
One more thing, YOU PEOPLE NEED STOP GIVING MY FAVORITE AUTHOR A HARD TIME ON THE DAMN LABELS. If the administrator doesn't have a problem with it, than neither should you! Keep up the good work Geodesic Dragon. love your stories.
2168652
2168682
...
yay lol a lovely and slice of life chapter
Racist barn.......i know that joke is old but...meh...
Yay free labor! For free! And all she had to do was screw up the reunion, make children run a last man standing and force feed them fritters. Wooh, I should try it my self.