“IIIIIIIT!” he whispered as loud as he could without waking the seemingly satisfied mare beside him. Oh, buck no. This is bad, this is very, very bad! I never wanted this to happen. Bucking alcohol enabling my idiot drive! I’m screwed! Literally and figuratively. Oh man! These thoughts played in his mind non-stop. He traced his fingers over his scars again, avoiding the claws this time. Wait, she had more to drink than I did. If I leave now, she probably won’t remember anything. Then it’ll be my secret to keep.
Sadly, that plan was shot to shit as Dash stirred before waking up. Her eyes were groggy and her body felt numb.
“What’s…”
“Oh, GOD DAMMIT!!!” hearing Spike’s voice made her jump, the energy reserved for such a feat was somehow discovered.
“Spike! What are you doing in my house?” she demanded. The dragon looked at her with a very unhappy expression on his face.
“We slept together, Sherclop.” This information took a moment to register in Rainbow Dash’s mind. The result was… unexpected.
“Oh… okay then.” She then proceeded to relax her body once more and lay her head on the pillow.
“WHAT?!” Spike shouted at her. Dash looked at him with disinterest.
“You find out we slept together and all you have to say is ‘Okay then’? Think about what this means. Not to us, but to the others.” Spike was growing hysterical.
“I did. And I came to the conclusion that it doesn’t matter. I sleep with Fluttershy all the time. Granted, you’re my first dragon, but you’re definitely not my first male. I’ve had rounds with Applejack, Big Mac, who is not surprisingly well proportioned. The first Grand Galloping Gala I went to with you guys, I had two of the Guards the night before we left. Then there was that Doctor guy who lives in the blue box, Cheerilee, all of the Wonderbolts who still won’t ask me to join, no matter how many times we do it in a full group. And… Oh, Derpy once or twice. She’s pretty good. Probably why I haven’t fired her.” Spike subconsciously began counting off the total number of partners she’d been with.
“So… taking into account that there are twenty seven Wonderbolts… Including me, you’ve been with at least thirty six partners of different genders?” Spike asked. Rainbow Dash nodded modestly.
“Oh, and don’t tell anypony, but Soarin’s a herm.” she replied. Spike grew confused.
“The buck is that?”
“Oh, right… It means he can literally buck himself. He’s got two for the price of one.” Spike crumpled his nose at the thought.
“No wonder he likes pie so much.” Rainbow Dash laughed, after which there was an awkward moment of silence between them.
“What about Twilight?” Spike asked. Rainbow Dash looked at him.
“Huh?”
“Did you ever sleep with Twilight?” The Pegasus shook her head.
“Are you kidding me? Twilight’s impossible to sleep with. She makes up all these excuses, like a condition that she has that prevents her from having sex for fear of death. I actually checked with Nurse Redheart. No such condition exists.” Spike laughed.
“Yes there is. It’s called class. She’s too posh to plough.” The two of them shared a laugh once more.
“You know. I’m curious why you asked me if I’d done Twi. You didn’t ask If I’d slept with Rarity or Pinkie, you went straight for your oldest friend.” Spike cleared his throat, but said nothing as his brain worked a way around the subject.
“It’s just that… this whole thing with her being suicidal and everything… It’s got me thinking about her safety, so she enters my mind often, like now.” Rainbow Dash smirked at him and nodded.
“Riiight. Something tells me you’ve changed the direction your heart’s pointing. You’ve completely dropped Rarity and are going for the easier prey. Clever, but given the circumstances, it’ll all be in vain.” Spike growled low at her.
“Okay, okay. No need to eat me over a few choice words.” Spike huffed at that.
“Too late, Dash.” he waved his finger between the two of them, receiving a similar huff in return.
“Tell you what, it’s still the middle of the night. What say we… pick up where we left off last time and see if we can beat ten seconds?” she mused. Spike wasn’t that amused with her pun. He looked out the window and sighed.
“Oh, what the hell.” he said, jumping in the bed.
Spike entered the Library with a hobble. If dragons had a walk of shame, this was it. His frills were drooped like a pony’s ears and he winced every time he took a step.
“I’m home! Sorry I didn’t come home last night. I got caught up with the ‘Byke of Cloudsdale’. She brought a whole new meaning to the term ‘Loyalty’.” Spike looked around and listened for a response. He neither heard, nor saw anything.
“Twilight?” there was an eerie feeling in the air that unnerved Spike.
“Noo!” he growled as he made his way up the stairs and kicked the bedroom door open. Nothing. He ran back downstairs in a blur, checking every room, every corner and space of the Library. He ran outside and scanned the area around the tree. He went so far as to climb the tree and searched every inch of the branches.
“Twilight!!!” he shouted.
“Down here, Sugar Cube.” a familiarly Yankee voice called from below. Spike looked towards the source of the voice and saw Applejack with Twilight, new bandages around her existing wound as well as her other hoof.
“Tell me she didn’t!” Applejack moved her hat to scratch her head.
“Ah caught her just in the nick o’ time. Nearly died she did. Redheart’s given her some medication. She’s pretty outta it right now.” Spike leaped out of the tree and landed with a heavy thud right in front of the two ponies.
“So I can’t have one night to myself without her trying to top herself? Typical Twilight. You always bring me into your mess. You’re such a sad bitch.” he growled. Twilight, who had been leaning against Applejack, opened her eyes groggily and gave Spike a goofy smile.
“Heey… There he is. My ol’ buddy bud-bud.” she proceeded to wobble into the Library and take a seat on the couch across from the fireplace.
“What did Redheart give her? She’s higher than the Spurs Needle in Seaddle.” Applejack handed over a small bottle of pills. Spike read the label.
“Methylphenidate. She gave her Ritalin?”
“Ah guess. What’s it supposed to do?” Applejack asked, looking at the bottle.
“It’s an anti-depressant. It should help her fight back against those suicidal tendencies, but I wouldn’t rely solely on it. I think I’m gonna have to have her take these without her knowing. As Celestia’s student, she’d be too proud to take them. But I don’t think these could cause her to act so… scatterbrained.” Applejack shrugged.
“Oh, wait. Ah think I overheard Nurse Redheart saying something about Valium.” Spike jumped.
“Jeez, where did she get her degree? In a cereal box? Valium and Ritalin can have bad side effects. But I suppose if taken at the right time apart from each other, it may be okay…”
“How do ya’ll know this stuff?” Spike shrugged and looked back at Twilight.
“I read some of the books to pass the time when I was bored. Hindsight’s a bitch.” Twilight began singing to herself in a slurred tone.
“Alright, I guess I’d better… deal with this… thing.” he said. Applejack gave him a hug, which he did not expect.
“What the…?”
“Like Ah said, Ya’ll ain’t gonna convince me that you’ve abandoned your love for us. Ah’ll see ya ‘round Spike.”
“I’m a happy camper!” Twilight cried out with glee, waving her hooves in the air.
“Oh, good. Then you can shove this marshmallow in your gob and shut up.” he said, handing her a stick with a marshmallow on the end. He’d placed one of the Ritalin tablets in the marshmallow.
“Stick that in the fire, take it out and then swallow.” Twilight giggled.
“Spike, don’t talk dirty.” she said, pushing against him. Spike growled low at her.
“Shut up and eat, shut up and eat, shut up and eat.” he chanted to himself as Twilight slowly placed the marshmallow over the fireplace.
“Right, now make sure it doesn’t catch fire. These things are a bitch to put out.”
“Did Rainbow put out?” Spike looked at the lavender unicorn in shock. Had she just said what he thought she said?
“What?”
“I can smell her on you, Spikey. I’ve been around them more than you have, especially… the last three years. Ooh, flaming mallows!”
“Wait… since when can you smell other ponies?” Twilight looked at him and scrunched her face.
“I drank milk that tasted funny. Redheart said it was good for me.” then Twilight giggled and hugged Spike. The young dragon froze in place. He noticed the burning marshmallow.
“Your… flaming mallow is burning.” Twilight laughed again.
“Spike, I said no dirty talk.” The dragon withheld a groan and pointed to the marshmallow on her stick.
“Oh, the puffy mallow! Uh, how do I get rid of the fire?” she asked, waving the stick around.
“Well definitely not like tha-OW!” The marshmallow had flown off and landed squarely between his eyes. Twilight laughed at this and rolled along the floor.
“You’re lucky I’m fire-proof.” he said, grabbing the soft goo from his face. He held Twilight down with his foot, forced her mouth open and dropped the marshmallow into her mouth.
“There. That ought to hold you for the evening.” he said. Twilight stood up and smiled at her friend.
“I have a secret.” she began. Spike huffed in annoyance.
“We all have secrets, Twi.”
“No… My secret’s specifically about you.” she began. Spike sighed in resignation, giving her his full attention.
“Alright, what’s the secret?” he asked.
“Fine, I’ll tell you. But you can’t tell Spike.” she said. After the condition registered with him as idiocy, he accepted.
“Fine, I won’t. Now what’s the secret?” Twilight leaned over to him and smiled.
“Dad smokes in the carriage. Celestia is okay with it, but we can’t tell Mum.” she said. Spike sighed, forcing back a growl.
“Not that, secret, the other Secret.”
“I’m Mare Do Well. Shhhh!” Spike growled this time.
“Damn it, Twilight!” The mare laughed aloud, clutching her sides. “The secret about m-… Spike.” Twilight sighed in submission.
“Spike hates me because I didn’t find him when he left us like last time.” The young dragon looked at her, huddled up in the corner of the couch, her sad face masked slightly by the dopey effect of the Valium.
“I… Spike could never hate you for that, Twi. He knows you tried to find him, because Scootaloo told him.” The unicorn looked at him.
“Spike? Who told you that? What is the other one? I’ll get him for… wait. Why are you talking in third-person? Have you been hanging around Trixie? Was it a threesome? Why didn’t you invite me?” She began to ramble on about random things, the last one intrigued him, but he said nothing on the matter.
“Twilight. It’s time to go to bed. Come on, I’ll tuck you in.” Twilight smiled at him and giggled as her head hung over his arm.
“This is a world gone topys-turvy! I like it. It’s like Rainbow Dash when she was victim to the Poison Joke. Remember that?” she asked. Spike chuckled.
“Yeah, I remember. We had Appleteenie, Rainbow Crash, Hairity, Flutterguy, Spittie Pie, and then you.” he replied.
“Yeah, Twilight Flopple.” she said. Spike laughed.
“Damn you, Hindsight.” he mused. He placed Twilight down onto her bed and wrapped the covers around her in a tight cocoon.
“Spike?” she called to him. Spike looked at her and smiled.
“Yeah?” The lavender unicorn blushed slightly as she moved her eyes over to her bedside table.
“Could you read me a story?” she asked. Spike opened the drawer in the table and pulled out a copy of ‘Daring Do and the Jade Wing’. He smiled and nodded, opening the book from where she’d left the bookmark. As he began reading, he didn’t get through three pages before she was asleep. He placed the bookmark where he’d stopped reading and closed the book quietly, sliding it back into the drawer and closing it as quietly as possible. He leaned over the bed and gently held her face in his hand. He bent down and kissed her forehead. But instead of leaving it there, His mind was drawn to her lips. Asleep, she would have been none the wiser.
He brought his face closer to hers, his own scaly lips brushing against hers. He kept his eyes on her closed ones to make sure she didn’t wake. It would have been difficult to explain to a fully functioning Twilight what he was doing with his face so close to hers. He could taste her breath as she sighed in her sleep; the smell of marshmallows was fresh on her. He curled her top lip with his own. He was so close. With his free hand, he clenched his fist, hearing the sound of his knuckles crack. He reared his head back slightly, freeing her lip before he drew it closer again and…
Author's Note:
In case anypony was wondering, the term Byke is derived from the word Dyke, which is a disparaging term for Lesbian, just as the word 'Nigger' is to a black person. In short, Byke = Bi-sexual.
...And then Pinkie Pie appeared.
Damn u update fast boy great work
1625902
For the love of celestia let this happen lol
So good
i see it coming!
attention! theory ahead!
spike went away three years ago because he heard twilight mutter in her sleep that "she loves him". he went and sorted his feelings out, but couldnt return because he saw through spying that twilight was hurt because of him and thought he didn't deserve to be around them.
btw awesome story.
i'm refreshing the site like every 3 minutes and i am always happy to see a new chapter of this story. mainly because i can understand spike so well, because nearly the same things (i mean the stuff with Twi being suicidal and stuff) happened to me. well its hard to see a familymember destroy itself, because of past problems.
Keep up the good work.
You spoil us with such frequent chapters. But now I want more fast, damn you.
Not a fan of slut RBD... but I suppose this does justify the last chapter. Continue, please.
1625916 You know, I do sometimes imagine him and Twilight Singing Saltwater Room, lol
OW MY SIDES! I could NOT stop laughing with all that Big Bang Theory reference XD
How has no one brought up the amazing Big Bang Theory parody here?! Couldn't stop laughing.
Must admit, I only barely saw that coming.
I can hear spike sounding a lot like soul. Capable of sounding really smart ass and almost distant, but can easily be turned into a very caring voice.
Big bang theory references ftw
What about Rarity? I believe that question will be answered soon enough.
Big Bang Theory reference
i assumed you called her Byke of Cloudsdale because she has had 36 partners and almost every character in the show has ridden RD like a bike
Ritalin is an AD(H)D medication, not an anti-depressant. What you're thinking is Zoloft the most well known anti-depressant in my books (gave me unbelievable heartburn, like wake me up from dead sleep with tears in my eyes bad) or perhaps Effexor... I liked that one, the name brand version works wonders.
Oh god i really hate the Rainbow slut, its always like that, and that REALLY annoys me, but oh well i liked the last part, i love pairing spike with twi, is just so adorable
MY FAVORITE PAIRING YES!!!!!!! Made my entire day and was laughing so hard when Twilight was knocked on drugs. High Twi is best Twi Damn Rainbow can she pick them, hopefully thre males used protection and I like her with AJ and Flutter's seems awesome, suprised she has not done Rarity yet But seriously this was an amazing chapter can't wait to see more Spilight
Alright now it just went mature. This is definitely mature. Lets me list the reasons
1: having sex with rainbow dash.
2: every pony is a slut except twilight. (That's what made me stop reading)
3: alcohol usage.
4: violent first few chapters.
5: Twilight tried to commit suicide.
about the only thing you haven't done yet is excessive violence and language.
technically the term nigger means ignorant
also cool story bro and man you write fast
I loved this chapter. Big Bang Theory references!
Heh, Big Bang Theory references.
Oh god The Big Bang Theory parody! I have to favorite, just for that. You sir, you have made my day!
High Twilight is best Twilight.
I never looked at Big Bang Theory.
In any case, has Rainbow ever done Rarity?
To be honest this part felt a little rushed to me, But i like this series too much to care
"Alright, now it just went mature. This is definitely mature. Let me list the reasons:
1: Having sex with Rainbow Dash.
2: Everyone is a slut except Twilight.
3: Excessive alcohol usage.
4: Violent first few chapters.
5: Twilight trying to commit suicide."
I wholeheartedly agree with Midnight Blues. Even if not much is blatantly explicit (and some things ARE pretty explicit), pretty much all the themes in this story are mature. You should switch the age rating.
LOL! Nice ref:
Dashie, you little skank you! How bad is it that I easily see a twisted comedy version of this where Twilight's default reaction to everything is trying to kill her self?Out of sugar? Where are the pills? .....I'm going to special hell...
My respect for RD is once again going... going.......
GONE.
That sounds about right
I'm sure you're all expecting me to give some long explanation but
1. She's the awesomest pony ever
2. I always test before they become my "companions". Still though, she's no Rose Tyler
3. C'mon you Gotta take a swing in the batting cage if you want to be classified as a Stallion
and last but not least...
4. I REGRET NOTHING
ANDIAMO!!!
1626677 There are PG-13 (teen-rated more or less) movies that refer to sex. It's only R-rated when things start getting explicit to some extent. Like right now it's basically "They had sex". No real explicit detail. When it starts detailing actions (i.e. thrusting, licking, fondling/groping, ect ect) it'll hit the mature mark.
Honestly I like where this is going.
What did Rainbow mean when she said that Soarin's a herm?
Dat Big Bang Theory reference. Niceee! I nearly fell of my chair while reading this. I aboslutely love this story so far, it's quickly becoming one of my all time favorites. Excellent work, Grimm Reaper!
wow Big bang theory... really
Your dialogue is confusing. You're switching to a new paragraph every time the speaker changes, which is good, but you aren't switching them at the right moment. For example:
The way you have this structured right now, it looks as though Spike's saying the first line, and Rainbow's saying the second, when it's actually the other way around. If one person says something, and another person does something, they should be in separate paragraphs.
This is how you should be formatting dialogue; it's more immediately obvious who's saying what and is on the whole less confusing.
1633695 Ok Strom Breaker, there is no way that I can put what I am about to say to any blunter than this, Soarin has A DICK AND A VAGINA!
Hehe Big Bang Theory, loving it
This entire chapter - from start to finish - made me laugh my ass off.
if u keep this up u will surpass my #1 story
1626006 I agree I don't see Rainbow Dash as being that far out there But I can see her to have sex with the Wonderbolts and Fluttershy oh and AJ but not too many more than that ya know?
I've had a lot of insults thrown at me over the years from being bi to being a briny and many other that I mentally blocked out by have never heard byke
I call it
AAAAAnd I'm done with this. It was mildly entertaining up until now, but there are too many things that I dislike about it to continue reading.
1627155
It does not. It's simply a corruption of "negro", which is Spanish for "black".
1705008 you "call it"? like when people insult you you'll say "nah, I'm a Byke" or something!? I no compute!
Soarin's a ...... im just gonna go ahead and forget, eh, everything from that paragraph
You sl*t
LOVE the Big Bang theory reference
1626013
So Rainbow is a Bi ?
Well shit. Twilight is fucked in the head.