• Published 12th Nov 2012
  • 12,277 Views, 389 Comments

Therapist Visit - ABagOVicodin



Luna summons a therapist to her room after King Sombra's defeat. Psychological Second-Person story that analyzes Princess Luna.

  • ...
18
 389
 12,277

Denial

You are late. Please come inside, we have a lot to talk about. I do not pay you a thousand bits an hour to come to our discussions late.

I see... you had a family emergency. Well, please explain the emergency. If I feel that it is enough of an emergency, then I will forgive you.

Oh, your wife was having troubles with the new foal? She is pregnant you say. Well, congratulations to you. I am sure that another child added to your life will do nothing but make it better.

Tell me about your family. I'm curious. We can get to me in a minute, I wish to know about what I can never possess. After all, that is how you set goals, am I correct?

Despite the rationalization that you provided to me, you are more or less saying that setting a goal for something that is achievable and reasonable is what I should do. Isn't that what I am doing? After all, I am capable of having children. It is just impractical, since there isn't a stallion that wishes to have one with me. I might as well hear about your family to see what it is like.

I see, you have a loving wife by the name of Luminescence. That filly is going to be your first child? It must be exciting. Tell me, what was the first thing that came through your mind when you found out that your wife was pregnant? You were the happiest stallion that could ever live? I could understand that feeling. After all, ignorance is bliss, right?

No, I'm not insinuating anything. I'm just saying that you probably didn't know anything about children, so you were obviously ecstatic about the rewards that come with spawning your own flesh and blood.

We are getting off topic aren't we? Well, what is it that you want me to talk about? Celestia hasn't sent me a letter, again, so I might as well indulge in what I am paying for.

Talk about yesterday? Fine, but I don't see much to talk about.

Of course I got angry. Are you saying that because I got angry before and turned into Nightmare Moon, I am unable to become angry again?

I'm sorry for saying so. Perhaps I am just getting worked up over nothing again. I know that you are being paid to hear my rants, and you wouldn't assume anything negative of me just to hurt my feelings. You are one of the only ones I know that provides me with such respect.

Okay, yesterday. I... I don't want Twilight Sparkle to disappear, despite what I said. I was just angry, I didn't mean those words.

You are right, I'm not Pinkie Pie. Words come out of my mouth for a reason. Tell me what you think.

Jealous of Twilight Sparkle? Thank you for pointing out the obvious. I told you this yesterday. If I wanted someone to tell me what I already knew, I would reread the diary I have been using. No, you may not see it. Anything else?

My interest in your family is not because I wish to engage myself in a bout of self loathing. Can't a princess wish that one of her subjects ends up well off with one of the most important decisions of their life?

Your princess would not lie to you. My job, as well as my sister's, is to make sure that we provide love and care for our subjects. Since Celestia now has all of the other jobs in the kingdom, mine is to tell you that I care about each and every one of you. Don't you trust me? I have no other reason to live, I might as well be honest with my destiny. Let's please change the subject.

Twilight Sparkle? Fine, let's go back to her. I didn't know about her until the two of us faced each other near the fake Elements of Harmony. My Nightmare Moon form was able to sense that there was something inside of her, a magical aura that heated up the parts of me that grew cold as the Mare in the Moon. Her eyes gave off a glint of determination that I saw in my sister when the Elements of Harmony were used to encase me in the moon. Both mares had a job to change the one that was in front of them, and both succeeded.

Twilight Sparkle was given a test by my sister that day, and her determination to pass the test and make her teacher proud changed the foundation of her learning. But at what cost? I was imprisoned on the moon by my sister and forced to live alone for a thousand years. When I finally came back to the world, my personality was once again pulled apart and formed to what my sister and Twilight Sparkle wanted me to be. The hug that my sister and I shared after Nightmare Moon was broken on me was the most sympathy that I have gotten from her. As you can tell from the lack of letters on my bed, this has not changed.

Do you know what it is like, to come back to a world that you loved with all of your heart, and find that none of your friends are alive anymore? To be forced inside of a mould that is too small for you, so that parts of you end up melting off until a different product is created? I'm no longer allowed to preside over the Canterlot courts, especially when it comes to cases that can anger me. I no longer have anypony from the past that I can connect with to share my emotions. I'm no longer bound to the Elements, which means my magic is not as powerful as my sister's. The part that angers me the most is that I'm no longer allowed to be angry.

Here, let me imitate my angry face. See? It's the same face that I greeted you with. There can't be anything wrong with my angry face, because then my subjects would think I was angry at them. I'm not angry at them, they did nothing wrong. Their preference towards my sister is something that I should have prepared for. I had a chance before my imprisonment to talk to my subjects and gain their trust. However, I was young and impulsive, and I ruined my chance.

Despite all of this, yes, I do sit before you on my royal bed and tell you that I am not angry. There is nothing wrong with the position that I am currently in. I should be happy that I am out of the moon. I get to have whatever emotional support I can afford, since you are a decent price. Although to be honest, you are more of a wall to bounce my emotions off of, rather than support.

You don't need to apologize for that, I do not expect you to be much more than what I am using you for. You are a therapist, nothing more, nothing less.

I see that we have reached the halfway mark on our time. How time flies when you are pondering the meaning of your existence.

Don't flatter me, I know that Celestia is your favorite princess. After all, she is everypony else's, except for the few who liked Nightmare Night.

You want to talk about Nightmare Night? If you say so. You would probably get some good information out of it, since that day involves Twilight Sparkle. It started a year ago, the first Nightmare Night that I was a part of with the new citizens of Ponyville.

You were there? Oh, you live in Ponyville? Well, my apologies for making you travel here in the middle of the night. If you were there, then I trust that you know what happened with the children. Pinkie Pie pretended to be terrified and caused a brouhaha with them. In the end, the children ended up enjoying Nightmare Night, and I did as well. I had Twilight Sparkle to thank for telling the townsponies that I wasn't evil anymore.

I wish I could tell you that all the children thought about me from now on, but Hearth's Warming Eve brought their minds back to my sister. After all, it was Celestia that brought all of the ponies together to agree on Ponyville's finding, was it not? I had nothing to do with regulating the day and night, since I was busy with my duty of being the Mare in the Moon.

It was nice though, to have my one day of fame. After all, before I was the Mare in the Moon, I didn't have a single day to shine, metaphorically speaking. I guess I should thank Twilight Sparkle for that day, since she was the only one who understood that I wasn't a threat anymore. As if I was ever a threat to begin with...

Nevertheless, Nightmare Night is over, and it was one of the few days that made me happy after I came back. I wish I could have another, but I suppose that is being greedy. Celestia told me that wanting more than you get is a path to becoming Nightmare Moon again. I didn't know that wanting what I used to have was also being selfish.

So, I'm sure that you can come up with a good reason of why I still manage to keep my emotions locked up after all of this time. Tell me the reason, I'm curious.

... Get out.