Chapter 14
Shadows of the Sun
By theamberfox
Chapter 14
Though the cell was located in the coldest, darkest, and most unwelcoming part of the catacombs, it wasn't necessarily an uncomfortable place. A large room, it was quite similar to the royal bedchambers of the palace above. Several bookcases were pushed against the far wall, packed with every topic from fairy tales and folklores to conversational philosophy and ethics. In one corner was a large, comfy bed with a delicate black canopy. The dark fabric, dotted with tiny stars, seemed to flow down around the bed, gently covering the sides and resting against the floor, a surface built from large, deep violet glass tiles. In the opposite corner, and beside a door leading into a small bathroom with all the usual necessities, was a black vanity with an impressively large, oval mirror. Finally, there was a large, oval rug that was black in colour and placed in the exact center of the room.
The entire space, with the exception of the small bathroom, was perfectly visible from the shining, glasslike barrier that served as the cells prison bars, the divider between the tiny, seemingly perfect, colour coordinated world inside, and the chaos of the real and unfortunately opposite world on the outside. Or at least it would have been perfect if not for the single blot of white on the otherwise faultless scene.
Princess Celestia was lying on the big rug in the center of the room, equal distance from both the canopied bed and the pitch black vanity that her jewellery now carelessly rested upon. Every day, she would perform the same set of tasks, the same strange ritual. She would get out of bed, carefully clean and arrange the sheets, move to the bathroom, carefully clean and arrange herself in the mirror, and lie in the center of the room where she would eat one meal each day, a large bowl of mixed greens. It wasn't enough to eat just this one small meal, however, and every day she was hungrier than the last. The guards were not heartless, they had always offered her more food than just the single bowl of vegetables once a day, but she refused to eat anything more than that. Anything else they left in the room would sit and wait and eventually give off a foul odour, finally signalling the guards to take it away.
Even now, so long after she had been first imprisoned, her thoughts raced around her head and pushed away her hunger and her fatigue. She was worried about her sister, about her country, and even about herself. But more than anything else, she was worried about Twilight. Luna, Rarity, Goldenroot, Thunderhorn, all the ponies she had trusted over the years were all so absolutely convinced that Twilight was dead, but that didn’t make any sense. She saw her! Heard her! Felt her! And every single time it was more real than the last. But she had trusted them all, so then they had to be telling the truth, or at least what they all believed to be the truth.
“Can I see her now?” a voice asked from outside her cell.
It was painful! It hurt so much for her to even think about it. Was Twilight alive or dead?
“Are you sure it’s alright?” the voice asked again. “I can always come back at another time.”
“Yeah, whatever.” another voice replied, one that Celestia recognized as the guard watching her cell. “If you want to go stare at her, go right ahead.”
“Oh, umm... Thank you.”
Twilight couldn’t be dead, no that seemed impossible. But then, why was everyone else so convinced that the impossible was true?
Rarity said she saw me talking to Twilight, the alicorn thought as she stared at the dark floor of her cell, but she said Twilight wasn’t there.
The sound of a pony's hoofsteps slowly grew in volume as they entered the hallway and neared the princess' cell. Coming to a rather graceful halt, the pony stopped right in front of the cell and gazed in.
Who was I talking to!?
“Hello, Princess Celestia.” the voice said.
From her limited view, the princess could only see the pony's hooves in front of her. They were white.
A dream? Celestia thought, ignoring the pony in front of her. A hallucination? But she told me the truth! She knew that Prance and Goldenroot were involved in the drought. Even if she did exaggerate their involvement, she knew what was going on when I did not.
“Pardon me for arriving so early in the morning, but I promised someone that I would tell you as soon as I could.” the voice continued. “It’s about Twilight Sparkle.”
Celestia's head snapped upwards, her gaze focused on the white pony in front of her. It wasn't the first time she had heard those words since her imprisonment, but it was the first time she ever thought that the pony uttering them was going to tell her something she didn’t already know.
Standing across from her, on the other side of the magic wall, was Rarity. Her delicate indigo hair was the same as it always was; a picture of perfection in the dark corridors of the castle catacombs. Her coat was the same brilliant white she had always remembered it to be and her eyes were the same sparkling sapphire. And on her face, was a small, but pleasant smile. She was trying so hard to keep a calm disposition and a positive attitude in this grim place.
“Though, I think it's a story that's better told by someone else.” Rarity said.
At that moment, the alicorn realized that the white pony was levitating a small book in the air beside her. Her gaze intently watching the book, it floated through the air and into the prison cell, passing through the strange magical barrier like a hot knife through butter. It moved further into the room and finally floated down and came to a rest on the floor beside Celestia.
It was still kind of a strange feeling, to be inside that small room. Celestia had designed the cell so that anyone outside the prison could interact with the world inside as if the barrier was virtually nonexistent; however, for the actual prisoner, it was the complete opposite. Celestia could not pass through the magical wall, nor could she fully interact with the world outside. Only her senses extended through the shimmering wall, giving her the illusion that she was still a part of the real world.
In every possible way, it was the perfect prison, performing exactly the way she had wanted it to. And though it pained her to know that the cell was never used for its originally intended purpose, she was somewhat relieved to know that it was so… flawless.
“I found this among her things, the ones that were recovered from Prance.” Rarity continued. “Have you read it yet?”
Celestia recognized the little book now, it was Twilight's journal.
“It's blank.” Celestia said quietly.
Indeed, the princess remembered reading through the journal. She remembered flipping through every single page and being so utterly devastated when she realized that it was completely empty, devoid of any words, drawings, markings, or anything at all.
“Blank?” Rarity asked, tilting her head to the side. “Pardon me, princess, but it's not blank.”
“Please, Rarity.” Celestia replied. “Though I am perhaps deserving of your ridicule, please don't tease me. I read that journal. That journal is blank.”
“Then you… you won’t even open it?”
“I would appreciate it if you just left me alone right now, Rarity.”
The white unicorn said nothing in return, hesitating for a moment before turning around and leaving back the way she came, her hoofsteps gradually fading away before finally disappearing completely.
Why would she bring this to me? Celestia thought. Why would she tell there are words inside this book when I know for a fact that the opposite is true?
The princess was simply aggravated by the unicorn's teasing at first, but as she watched the book on the floor beside her, she grew ever more curious about its contents.
Perhaps… I missed something? She thought.
She gently flipped open the cover of the book, hopeful that the unicorn had not been lying about what she said. To her dismay, the first page was blank.
In the end, Goldenroot was just a conspirator. He only claims to have noble intentions, but he betrayed his own country, made them bend to his will just because he wanted the world to match his fantasy. I don’t believe him. I don’t believe that what he said was true.
She turned another page. Again, it was completely blank.
And Thunderhorn, he was a soldier. He thought the solution to every problem was to fight back, beat it into submission with his bare hooves. Even if he wasn’t involved in this conspiracy at the very beginning, he would’ve jumped at any opportunity to fight back against me, make me pay for stealing away his home and his honour!
Yet again, she turned another page and, yet again, it was blank, the same depressing whiteness staring her in the face and mocking her very existence.
And Luna, my own sister. A long time ago she turned against me out of jealously and contempt because they loved me and ignored her. When she did, I simply banished her, removed her from the world for an eternity. And although she’s finally returned, nothing’s really changed. She’s still ignored while I’m praised! Why wouldn’t she want to strike back against me, make me pay for all those years she spent in isolation because of me?
She started flipping through the rest of the pages more rapidly, but all of them were blank, right to the very end.
“And Rarity is a liar!” Celestia yelled out loud in anger. “She is a fool, mocking me and laughing now that she knows I have nothing left!”
She threw the book against the barrier, the journal crashing into the peculiar light and falling against the floor in a disfigured heap.
I wasn’t dreaming. I wasn’t hallucinating or lying or doing anything wrong.
The princess’ eyes started to water. I just wanted to help.
“Princess?” a voice asked quietly.
“Leave me alone!” Celestia yelled back aggressively. “Get away from me!”
The alicorn turned her head to the barrier, ready to glare at the foolish pony that had decided to confront her, but she stopped when she noticed the colour of the pony’s hooves. They were a beautiful, wonderful violet, a distinct, stunning colour that she recognized immediately.
“I can come back later…” the pony said meekly.
Celestia’s eyes darted passed the pony’s hooves and towards her face, “Twilight?”
The unicorn smiled, her eyes shimmering in the light, “I’m sorry I couldn’t see you earlier.”
For a moment, the princess said nothing, just staring back at her with a faint smile on her face and tears forming in her eyes.
“What’s going on, Twilight?” Celestia asked. “It’s been so long since I last saw you and I… I don’t even know what’s going on anymore. And now that you’re here… standing in front of me… it only seems to raise more questions.”
“I’m sorry, princess. I was lying to you.”
The water gathering in Celestia’s eyes began to slip down the side of her face. She was stunned, merely gazing at her student, her emotions wrought with intense confusion and disbelief as she watched the innocent looking unicorn shifting awkwardly in front of her.
Twilight’s expression was cold and her eyes fell to the book lying on the floor in front of her, the tears in her own eyes slowly starting to fall toward the ground, the tiny droplets staining the floor outside the princess’ cell.
“About what?” Celestia asked.
“I never went to the capital of Prance” Twilight said quietly, “and Le Roi Pierre probably wasn’t trying to take over the world.”
“Then… what happened to you, Twilight? Why were you gone for so long? Why did you convince me to wage a war with Prance and eliminate the council?”
“Did you read it?” Twilight asked, motioning towards the journal on the floor. “It explains everything.”
Celestia paused for a moment, looking down at the journal on the ground.
“Twilight…” Celestia said softly, “that journal is blank. There is nothing written inside it.”
Smiling faintly, Twilight’s horn lit up and she flipped the small book open to the first page.
“It’s not blank.” the unicorn said gently.
At the very top of the page was written, ‘Entry Number 1 - August 6th’.
“But…” the princess continued, turning back to her student in confusion. “I… I looked through that entire book only a moment ago… It was blank then, so why isn’t it blank now?”
Twilight just continued to smile back at her.
“I know that you’re confused and I understand why, but that journal contains all the answers you’ve been searching for.” the unicorn said. “Please, princess, please read it.”
~
Entry Number 1 - August 6th
Tomorrow is the day I leave for Prance on the princess’ behalf.
I’m not really sure how I feel about it. Princess Celestia seems determined that they’ll have the answers we need and I’m honoured to know that she chose me to be the one to embark on such an important journey. By all means, I want to help. I just don’t want to leave on my own. I only wish that someone, anyone at all, would come with me, but everyone seems to have their excuses. Not that I can blame them…
Fluttershy has to take care of her animals. That’s completely understandable. We weren’t the only ones affected by the drought. Every single living creature has had their life turned upside down and I don’t think anyone else in the country is even capable of doing what she does. Somehow she manages to find enough food and water for them all while still taking care of the sick and the injured. I honestly don’t know how she pulls it off, but I certainly don’t see as much of her as I used to. In fact, I don’t think I’ve seen her all week…
Applejack needs to help out around Sweet Apple Acres. Her entire family is terribly overworked as it is. They’ve been trying everything to get something to grow in the dust we still call soil. The trees and plants do get watered, but the only water comes from the scarce rainclouds that Rainbow Dash manages to herd over from the less populated areas of the country. The townsfolk have agreed that all of the clean water, the water that is carted in from the rivers and lakes, is to be reserved for drinking water only and that watering the crops is unnecessary at this time.
Indeed, Rainbow Dash has spent her time searching the skies for what little rainclouds manage to drift around the countryside. The only sleep the pegasus seems to get is when she passes out. The others are trying to get her to slow down and pace herself more, but she’s too brazen, saying things like ‘I’m fine.’ and ‘Don’t worry about me.’ right before she falls unconscious on the ground. It hurts to know that she’s pushing herself so hard, but at the same time, it’s inspirational. I’ve never seen her act so selflessly, even if it is masked under a thick layer of her own belligerent overconfidence.
Rarity is too busy with her shop. She’s always busy with her shop, but now she’s taken it upon herself to make sure that everyone in Ponyville has enough food to eat. She stockpiles food and gives it away to whomever needs it. At first, I wondered where she was getting it all from, (Where in the country can you still buy canned goods?) so I asked her, but she refused to tell me. After some research, I found out that the supply caravans from Prance, the ones that are supposed to be distributing food to all of the towns and cities around the country, are being intercepted by some of the more corrupt nobles. The rich nobles are bribing or robbing the caravans and hording all the food. They then sell the excess at inflated rates (A single can of beans costs about as much as a couch.) for huge profits. I don’t know why both the princess and the council are ignoring this, but maybe they realize that it’s more important to focus on solving the real problem of the drought than to waste time on petty crime. All I know is that calling Rarity the ‘element of generosity’ is a serious understatement right now. She’s been working herself to death in that shop of hers, most likely selling her dresses to the very same nobles that are responsible for bribing and robbing the caravans, and it’s all so that she can buy enough overpriced food for the rest of us to eat. (I still wonder how she manages to keep her mane in such pristine condition in a time like this, but I never doubt that mare’s fashion sense.)
And finally, Pinkie Pie, the one pony that I wouldn’t have expected to be doing something productive, is working with the rest of the townsfolk, pulling carts of water from the nearby lakes and rivers. She seems surprisingly concentrated, but still just as random and cheerful as always, so I try not to bother her too much. Unfortunately, the distance that she and the rest of the townsfolk have to travel gets longer by the day as the lakes begin to recede and the rivers dry up. At the beginning, the trip was only an hour long, now it takes a full day. At some point, they will only be wasting time, using more water than they gather, and we’ll have to abandon Ponyville and move closer to a larger source of water, but until then, Pinkie and the other townsfolk are keeping us happy and hydrated. I swear, even if that mare has to exhaust herself pulling carts of water day after day to do it, she’ll find a way to make everyone smile.
And what have I been doing all this time? I’ve been trying to find a solution to the drought problem, just like every other researcher, scientist and scholar in Equestria. The problem is that the library in Ponyville doesn’t have any of the material I need for my research. I need history books, books that can tell me something about the past and any other droughts that have occurred, not cookbooks, fairy tales and dictionaries. What I have here is too common and simple, so I’m not making any real progress with my efforts. The library in Canterlot may have more of the material I need, but at the moment it’s reserved for the elite members of the scientific community. They don’t want an amateur like me getting in their way, so I’m restricted to what books I have here.
Fortunately, Princess Celestia seems to have realized that we need to do something else if we’re ever going to find a solution and now she’s asked me to go to Prance, a country that, as far as I know, has had more than its fair share of droughts in the past. Unfortunately, the council refused to send anyone else with me. The princess wanted to send guards and researchers at my side, but the council thinks that it’s just a waste of time. (Right, because actually doing something about the drought is a waste of time.) What can a pony do? I guess we (the nobility) can only try to make our votes count. I voted for Sir Goldenroot and Lady Vortex. To my delight, they both managed to get elected and Goldenroot’s as sharp and feisty as ever, but Lady Vortex seems to have quickly become rather apathetic during her first term. It’s a shame really, I voted for her because she seemed like the only one who would be willing to support that equality bill that Sir Goldenroot has been pushing for years, but now I don’t know. Celestia told me that she (and Goldenroot) voted in favour of sending the researchers and guards with me, so I guess it wasn’t a complete waste.
All my meaningless complaining, worrying and rambling aside, I think I really will find something useful in Prance. I just hope I can get there and back without any issues.
Entry Number 2 - August 7th
I left Ponyville without saying goodbye. I’m already starting to regret doing that. I just didn’t want to have to bother my friends when they’re all so busy and... I don’t know. I guess, at the time, I didn’t really want to say goodbye to them. I felt like if I said goodbye, I would only miss them more. I’m sure everything will be okay. I’ll see them all again when I come back.
The only one I talked to before I left was Spike. I simply asked him to tell my friends where I went if they happened to ask. Poor Spike… He’s still upset about me leaving on my own, showing a mixture of anxious and irritated emotions as he spoke to me. I know he’s worried, perhaps even more than I am. He didn’t want me to leave without him and to be totally honest, I kind of wanted him to come, but he’s just too young for something like this. He’ll only be a burden and I can’t let anyone or anything slow me down. Not to mention I couldn’t bear the thought of him getting hurt somehow. No, it’s much better if he stays behind. After all, someone needs to look after the library.
When I arrived at Canterlot, the princess seemed awfully calm considering that the whole country is practically falling apart. It’s kind of reassuring to know that she has no lack of confidence in my abilities (if that is indeed the reason for her equanimity), but that didn’t stop me from almost breaking down in front of her today. My eyes felt swollen and my legs trembled as if I was trying to shoulder the entire weight of Equestria. It was hard seeing her, thinking about everything I was leaving behind and everything I had yet to accomplish. Up until now, it had felt like just a dream, something that I could only have imagined doing, but now… I guess it’s more of a reality than I would like to believe. It will be weeks before I see anyone I even recognize again and the more I think about it all, the more I worry. Just making my way to Canterlot on my own was a little unnerving, I don’t know how I’m going to survive a couple weeks like this.
But like everyone else, Princess Celestia was busy and we didn’t have much time to talk. She explained the journey a little bit more and tried to be as encouraging as possible, sometimes repeating herself in the process. To be totally honest, I didn’t hear anything I hadn’t already learned from her letter. I think she really just wanted to say goodbye. I’m glad she did.
Right now, as the sun leisurely sets over the horizon just outside the window, I’m sitting in the bedroom of a small inn to the north of the capital. The ponies here aren’t any better off than the ones at home. I felt like I had to hide all the food I brought into town or else they would try to steal it away from me. It’s a terrible feeling. I want to help them, but I can’t. I can’t do anything until I figure out what’s going on up north, the one thought that continues to swim around inside my head on an everlasting basis.
I reluctantly told the innkeeper about my journey. She seemed to think I was very brave for going alone to ‘save the world’. I laughed at that idea, but she just smiled back at me. I guess I never really thought about it like that. Saving the world seemed like the kind of thing that you only read about in fairy tales and legends.
Entry Number 3 - August 10th
The last few days were very ordinary and certainly nothing worth writing about. I continued to travel north and eventually reached the border. It’s not exactly what I expected it to be, just a big wooden sign engraved with a bunch of foreign writing. I’ve been studying their language a bit, so I was able to recognize that it read ‘Welcome to Prance’, but the rest of the text was incomprehensible. Hopefully I’ll be more knowledgeable by the time I get to the capital. I don’t want to waste any time when I get there.
Unfortunately, today was far from what anyone could possibly call ordinary and I seem to have run into a bit of an unexpected bump in the road to the capital. Upon entering the ‘Splinter Forest’, a forest not entirely unlike the Everfree Forest at home, I encountered what I thought were bandits. Bandits! I could hardly believe it! They were talking and laughing obnoxiously, their words laced with what I could only imagine were evil intentions. I wasn’t prepared for something like that, at least not by myself.
The adrenaline rushing through my veins, I panicked and ran straight into the forest, trying to get away from them before I was noticed. Fleeing deeper into the shadows, their voices grew fainter and more distant and I only stopped when I could hear nothing but the gentle swaying of the trees in the light breeze that carried itself around me and throughout the leafy foliage of the dense woods.
That was probably a stupid mistake and I feel like a complete idiot for running away like that. I should have tried to sneak past or simply find another route around them. At the time, I was just so… scared. It’s been a long time since I’ve been on my own like this and the strain of my journey has been making me a little jumpy as of late. I don’t want to let the princess, my friends, or anyone else down, not when they’re all counting on me.
Now I have to try and make my way out of this stupid forest without running into those bandits again. But it’s getting dark and I don’t want to sleep on that path anyways, not as long as I know there are criminals wandering about. I can’t afford to lose my belongings. I can’t afford to have to turn around and go back home, not while I’m so close.
I’m going to set up my tent and sleep here for the night. Tomorrow, I’ll make my way back to the path and continue to the capital. Even if I can’t find my way back, I can always use my magic as a compass. It’s more reliable than mechanical devices that are more vulnerable to errors and breaking and I know that as long as I head north, I’ll get out of this forest and end up exactly where I want to be.
Entry Number 4 - August 11th
This is a disaster!
Somehow, I managed to stumble into a patch of poison joke while I was running away from those bandits yesterday. (If they even were bandits. The way things have been going, they might have well been simple salesponies.) My reaction to the plant has been nearly identical to my previous experience with it. While I’m still able to use my magic for mundane tasks like starting fires, writing in my journal and illuminating dark places, any kind of spell that requires my full, undiluted concentration seems to fail. That means I can’t tell what direction north is! Whenever I try to perform the spell, I just get disoriented. Every attempt produces a different result, sometimes north is one way, another time it’s a completely different way. How am I supposed to read the map or even find my way out of this dreaded forest without a compass!?
It’s all my fault… I should have been prepared for something like this, but for now, I can only hope that the poison will wear off on its own while I try to find my way back to the path without any magic to help me.
Entry Number 5 - August 12th
I wandered around in that forest for nearly eight hours yesterday before finally giving up. I didn’t think I had managed to stray so deep into the forest, but I have absolutely no idea where I am now. I think I’m even more lost than I was before.
I’m also beginning to think that the poison joke won’t wear off before I die of dehydration. Normally, finding water wouldn’t be a real problem, but every creek is barren, every plant is dried out, and even the soil itself is like sand. I suppose Prance must be experiencing the severity of the drought as badly as we are or at least the area by their border is. In a way, it gives me hope. Now I know they must have a solution to our problems. If only I wasn’t stuck here in the middle of this forest…
On a more positive note, I remembered to bring an updated encyclopaedia with the instructions on how to make a cure for the illnesses caused by the poison joke. I just need to find the right ingredients and follow the directions and I should be able to use my magic again in no time. And once I can use my magic, I can find my way out of this forest. (I’m never going anywhere without a mechanical compass again. I can’t believe I was so naïve to think that I wouldn’t need to bring such a useful instrument on such a long journey.)
What I’m essentially making is bubble bath with a little bit of the violet spotted mushroom in it. It seems like kind of a bizarre and ridiculous cure, and even in this dire situation it makes me chuckle to think that I need to make bubble bath to save my life, but it worked once already so it has to work again.
1. Water
This first one is easy. I have some water in my bag, I can use that. However, I’ll have to remember to ration my drinking water properly or I won’t have enough left to make the cure. That might be easier said than done, I’m already running low…
2. Lavender Oil
The second one shouldn’t be too hard. I saw some lavender growing just outside the forest, so there has to be some more around here somewhere. Lavender grows best in direct sunlight, so if I can find some kind of small forest clearing, I should find some lavender.
3. Patchouli Oil
This shouldn’t be too hard either. Unlike lavender, patchouli grows best in the shade so I should be able to find it all over the place. It thrives in warm weather, not the unfortunately colder climate of Prance, but I’m positive that it’s warm enough in the forest for it to grow here.
4. Magnesium Hydroxide
Normally this would be the hardest ingredient to find in the middle of a forest. Fortunately, when magnesium hydroxide is mixed with water, it forms a solution called ‘milk of magnesia’, which is a common antacid. I once read that when you’re travelling, you should always bring some in case you eat something that you shouldn’t have. It’s not going to cure poison of course, but it’ll help if you have an upset stomach.
Regardless, if I boil the milk of magnesia, I’ll have all the magnesium hydroxide I need.
5. Glycerine
I was a little worried about this one until I read that it’s a by-product of soap making. Since I’ll be making soap with the lavender oil and the magnesium hydroxide, I’ll be making glycerine at the same time.
6. Violet Spotted Mushroom
This is where it gets difficult. The most important ingredient, violet spotted mushrooms, are a rare type of mushroom found only in deep caves and while it was easy enough to find in the Everfree Forest, I don’t know if I’m even going to be able to find this one.
Ultimately, I don’t know how long it will take to find all the ingredients, but given my water supply, I think I’ll have about a week to find all the ingredients and still have enough water left to make it to the nearest town before I...
Well, that doesn’t matter. I’m absolutely sure that I’ll have enough time to gather the things I need. It’s poison joke, right. So it’s all just a joke, an especially cruel joke at a time like this, but still just a silly joke. I’ll get out of here and I’ll make it to Prance.
Entry Number 6 - August 13th
I made some significant progress today. I spent the day searching the forest and I managed to find both the lavender and the patchouli.
Unfortunately, I seem to have run into another bump. It’s nothing to worry about, I’m sure, but I had to use a large amount of my drinking water to steam the lavender and patchouli to remove the oil from the plants. I should have thought about that before, but with all the progress I’m making, it shouldn’t be a problem.
I also managed to take the time to boil the milk of magnesia and extract the magnesium hydroxide. That was a lot easier than I expected, but it was foolish of me not to realize that I could have used the steam from the milk of magnesia to steam the plants. That could have saved me a lot of water. If I keep making mistakes like that, I really am going to be in trouble.
I should keep track of what I have and what I don’t have by periodically making lists. For now, I have the following ingredients:
1. Water
2. Lavender Oil
3. Patchouli Oil
4. Magnesium Hydroxide
I still need these ingredients:
5. Glycerine
6. Violet Spotted Mushroom
To save water, I’ll wait until I have the mushrooms before making the soap and, in turn, the glycerine.
This would be a lot easier if I had more water, but then again, that’s probably what everyone at home is thinking too. It just depresses me to think that I’m letting them all down like this. I should have been more courageous when I heard those bandits on the road. There were only three or four voices. I probably could have fought them if I had to. That’s what Rainbow Dash or Applejack would have done. Why can’t I be more like them? Why can’t I be brave? I fought that Ursa Minor and Nightmare Moon and Discord... They were all definitely more frightening than a few bandits. So how was that situation so different? Is it because I’m alone or is it because I’m still too distracted by this whole ‘journey to Prance’ thing? Maybe I’m just delusional. I am a little dehydrated right now. Then again, maybe I should just go to bed.
Entry Number 7 - August 14th
What an unproductive day. I accomplished absolutely nothing except deteriorating my food and water supply. Without thinking, I used up the last of my canned food. Now I have to scrounge around to find edible plants. That shouldn’t be too much of a problem. Most of the things in this forest are edible. They’re just really dried out. Dry enough that you almost have to drink something to kind of ‘wash it down’. It means that I’m going to have to use more of my already dwindling water supply. And, for whatever reason, I keep forgetting that I have to save a large amount of the water for the actual cure. At this point, I think I only have a couple days worth of water left, but I could probably push one more day out of it.
I spent the day wandering around in the forest, looking for a cave or anywhere I could find some of those stupid mushrooms. I even looked in the encyclopaedia, searching it for some kind of substitute for the violet spotted mushrooms, but I couldn’t find anything that fits the bill. And with my water supply as low as it is now, I can’t afford to make another batch if the first fails.
One last thing to add to my grim story, I boiled the milk of magnesia yesterday, but now I realize that I wasn’t exactly supposed to do that. I had to mix the magnesium hydroxide with water anyway so it was better the way it was. How could I be so foolish?
Stupid poison joke. Stupid forest. Stupid me.
Entry Number 8 - August 15th
I tried to push my water supply a bit more today, but I started feeling really strange. At first, I just ignored it. My vision was blurry and I felt exhausted, but I could still move around alright. It wasn’t until I passed out that I finally accepted that I needed to drink something.
I read in the encyclopaedia that you can drink your own… well… it’s not important, but I managed to find a way to extend my water supply a bit more. I feel terrible, though, so after searching the forest a bit more, I just decided to fall asleep and try again tomorrow.
Entry Number 9 - August 16th
Today was my sixth day in the forest. It was also my worst.
Somehow I managed to catch a cold or something. I guess it’s my own fault. I’ve been trying so hard to conserve my water that I weakened my immune system in the process.
It developed over the course of the day, starting as a weak cough and a slight chill in the morning, but now I’m freezing. I’m so cold that I’m shaking, even with my blanket slung over my back as I continue to wander through this puzzling forest. I’m coughing a lot too, so much that it’s making my chest hurt. It’s all making my search for the last ingredient of the cure much more difficult than I would have believed.
I’m going to look around for as long as I can, but I get tired easily now and I have to rest often to keep up my strength.
This is… unbearable. It’s just not fair that something like this would happen to me now. Everything is going wrong. I’ve run into dangerous criminals, gotten lost in a strange forest, lost my magic, and fallen terribly ill. I don’t know what to do anymore.
I’m scared. I can’t… I don’t… I don’t want to be here anymore. I want to go home. I don’t care about Prance or the drought. I just want to go home. I want to see Ponyville, Celestia and all my friends.
I just don’t want to die in here. I don’t want to die all alone.
Entry Number 10 - August 19th
I have not written anything for a few days now. I just didn’t have the strength to write something so depressing or, for that matter, anything at all.
Judging by my symptoms alone, I suspect that I have a severe case of pneumonia. It has grown significantly worse and I have no way of treating it. I read that you’re supposed to get plenty of rest, drink lots of liquids and try to increase the humidity of your living environment, but I can’t really do any of those things. The pain in my chest is excruciating, like there’s something sharp lodged inside of it and every time I cough or simply breathe, it sends sharp, shooting pains up my body.
Despite the horror of my condition and my exhausted water supply, I continued to wander around the forest as much as I could. To my surprise, I even managed to find a cave. I felt like I should have been happy, finding the one thing I was looking for after all this time, but now something is holding back my joy. It’s the ominous feeling that has taken over my thoughts over the past few days, the feeling that I was hesitant to write about for fear of it being true.
I don’t think I will ever make it out of this forest. Even if I find what I need, even if I get back on the path, I will never find my way back. I have no water, no food, and I am deathly ill. Just like the drought plagues Equestria, this illness plagues me. I can feel it taking over my body, overcoming my strength.
It is from this fear that I have started drinking the water I had reserved for the trip out of the forest. Because even if I die in here, there is one last thing I am determined to do.
Entry Number 11 - August 20th
I found it. I finally found everything I needed to make the cure, but does it even matter now? If I use the water to make the cure, I won’t have any water left to drink and I’ll never make it out of the forest. Even now, my throat is dry and the severity of my pneumonia is taking over. If I save the water to drink, however, I won’t be able to find a way out of the forest anyway. No matter what decision I make, I know I won’t make it home. So I just lie here, watching my teardrops fall onto the page and blur the words below. My body aches, but not nearly as much as my heart.
I’m sorry. You were all counting on me and I failed. I’m so sorry.
I will never come home, so instead I am going to use all that is left of my strength to send this journal and my remaining possessions back to that pathway in the forest, the one place where it all began. I only hope that someone will find it and send my last words to the ones I care about the most, the ones that were more important to me than anything else in the world.
To Applejack, the most honest, resourceful and dependable individual I have ever met. Your unfaltering determination and independence were always an inspiration to me and I will never forget the kindness you showed me on the first day we met. You offered your friendship to me, a pony you had never met before, out of the goodness of your heart and I will never forget that. You helped me learn that honesty is a virtue that should always be treasured and never forgotten, because only when we can be truthful, can we ever actually appreciate one another as a true friend.
To Fluttershy, your kindness and empathy are something that I could only have dreamed of. No matter what situation you are confronted with, you are always gentle and compassionate, offering your kindness even before your own opinion. You showed me what it means to put aside your fears and apprehensions, to stand up for those unable to stand up for themselves. But most of all, you showed me that simple kindness is something that we can easily overlook, but something that is always welcomed with an open mind and an open heart.
To Pinkie Pie, the most exuberant, energetic and care-free pony I have ever known. You find joy and laughter even in the darkest of places, bringing a smile to the faces of everyone around you. You’re relaxed attitude in every situation, no matter how desperate or depressing, is almost jarring at times, but strangely comforting. From you, I learned that the world is never nearly as frightening as it sometimes appears to be, that a cheerful disposition can ward off even the most frightening obstacles in your way.
To Rainbow Dash, the most brave and loyal pony I have ever witnessed. Your courage is nothing short of astounding at times. You’re always willing to put your own life in danger to protect your friends. You trust and stand by the ones you hold close to your heart, even when it is not always in your best interest to do so. You taught me to believe in my friends no matter what happens, because as long as you believe in them, they’ll believe in you.
To Rarity, your courteous sophistication and generosity is at times, unbelievable. You continue to amaze me with your fine attention to detail and your careful diligence, never giving up on your dreams until they come true. But what stands out most of all, is you’re absolute selflessness. You helped me learn how important it is to be able to set aside your own goals and passions to help others in their time of need. You showed me that helping others is more important and rewarding than helping yourself.
I’m sorry I never said goodbye to any of you. I could never have imagined the events that would take place after I left Ponyville, but that is no excuse to ignore the ponies that changed my life so much over the past few years. Before I met you all, I was so very different from the way I am today. I’ve learned and experienced so much that, even here, while I lie in this dark cave waiting for my fate to envelop me in darkness, I am happy. I am happy simply to have met you, known you and experienced everything that I did with you. You changed my life and my outlook upon it and I can never thank you enough for what you did.
To Spike, I’m sorry that I have to leave you. From the day of your birth, I watched you grow up, change and aspire to be the courageous and spirited dragon that you are now. And though I will never get the chance to grow old and see you reach adulthood and the prime of your life, I know that you will accomplish wonderful things. Throughout both my life and yours, I never doubted that, not even for a fleeting moment.
But though I will be gone, you will not be alone. I am sure that one of my friends will help look after you in my absence. I only ask that you be kind and understanding, though I already know you will be.
To my family, I’m sorry I never spent more time with you. My life always seemed like one hurdle after another and I never had the time to really stop and appreciate the ponies in my life. I always felt like I left something behind when I went to study at the magic academy with Princess Celestia. The truth is that I left you behind and I’m sorry. Mom, Dad, you were always supportive of everything I did. And though I know it pained you, perhaps even as much as it pained me, you gave me the independence I wanted and perhaps even needed. I love you both so very much and I couldn’t possibly have had better parents in my life. I only wish I could have spent more time with you.
To my teacher, Princess Celestia, I’m sorry for disappointing you. You trusted me, believed that I would help save the world and banish this drought from our country, but I failed. However, I know the kind of pony you are and I know what you are capable of. You’ll find some way to rejuvenate this world and help each and every pony that lives within it.
To be honest, when I first met you, I was a little uncomfortable around you. You were an untouchable goddess to me; everything about you seemed surreal and, in a way, completely hollow. And although I still idolized you, I thought you were much too jaded by your seemingly perfect life to truly understand what a normal pony really feels. But when I got to know who you really were, I learned that you were so different and so much more than I had once foolishly assumed. You were and always will be the sincere, affectionate, understanding, trusting, and charitable pony that looked out for me over my life. Though it was hard for me at times, you pushed me to discover all the magnificent things I learned over the years. You introduced me to the five best friends I could ever have in my life, the young dragon that I love with all my heart, and the wonders and life lessons that I would have never learned on my own.
You were always more than just a teacher to me. You are my one, true best friend above everyone else, the most important pony in my life, from the very beginning to the very end. Even in death, I will always remember that.
~
Celestia finished reading and looked up from the small book in front of her. Tears streaming down the sides of her face, she merely stared at the unicorn standing across from her.
“Sometimes you can just ignore the things you don’t want to see.” Twilight said, staring back at her.
“I read this before,” the princess replied, her words uneven and drenched in sorrow, “but I never read the whole thing… I never read the ending...”
“You didn’t want to see what I wrote in that journal, but you knew what was going to happen. You were afraid of the truth, so you made yourself believe that the whole thing was blank.”
Celestia shuddered and her gaze fell back down to the floor.
“I didn’t want to believe that she would just die…” Celestia said. “Not like that.”
“You knew about Prance, Goldenroot and the drought didn’t you?” Twilight said plainly. “You knew long before I ever told you, but you also knew that confronting the council directly might provoke a riot between the noble and common classes and confronting Prance would only start a war between your two countries in an already desperate time.”
“After a thousand years, in a country that can control the weather and the climate, a drought just didn’t make sense.” Celestia replied. “I watched and I saw the pegasus teams clearing the skies and pushing the rainclouds out of the country. I listened to them from the shadows and I learned that both Prance and the council were responsible, but I never learned exactly who in the council was to blame.
“At first, I was going to stop them immediately and confront Prance about their treachery, but then I realized what would happen if I did. With the food shortages taking such a heavy toll on the commoners while the nobility simply brushed it off like a mosquito on their shoulder, the gap between the nobility and the commoners was widening. If the commoners realized that even one of the members of the council was responsible for the drought, they would blame the entire nobility for their suffering. I also knew that everyone hated Prance. They were jealous of all that Prance had and all that they didn’t. They were jealous that Prance had food and water and they wanted to know why. If anyone discovered that Prance was sabotaging Equestria, we would have no other choice than to go to war against them.
“I realized that I couldn’t let anyone know that Prance and the council were responsible for the drought. I didn’t want to start a riot or a war. I had to subtly convince them to stop what they were doing without revealing to the world that they were responsible for all the pain in everyone’s life and I thought if they believed I was going to find the truth, they would stop what they were doing. I knew I wasn’t the only one afraid of a war…”
“So you simply tried to send them both a message with the journey to Prance. You wanted them to believe that you didn’t know what had created such a terrible drought, but that you were going to find out very soon.” Twilight continued in monotone. “You knew Prance would have to lie to the research team you sent and give them some kind of ludicrous solution to the drought to cover up the fact that they were responsible for it. At the same time, the rain would return on its own now that they weren’t sabotaging Equestria and everyone would believe that Prance’s ridiculous solution had actually worked.
“But you never thought I would be the one to embark on the journey alone, did you? At the beginning, you hadn’t even planned on asking me to go, but you thought it would be a valuable learning experience and an opportunity I would never dream of passing up.”
“The council did something I never expected; they refused to send the research team to Prance.” Celestia said. “I panicked. I was afraid my plan would completely fall apart so I sent you alone. Although they had justifiable reasons for keeping the researchers and guards in Equestria, I knew they couldn’t stop you from leaving on your own. In their eyes… you weren’t important.”
“In the end, it worked didn’t it?” Twilight said. “The member of the council that was responsible for worsening the drought, Goldenroot, stopped the pegasus teams from clearing the skies and the rain returned to Equestria. At the same time, Prance didn’t offer any resistance and its leader slowly faded out of the spotlight.”
“Everything returned to normal in an instant,” Celestia said, “except one thing. Twilight was gone. She had left for Prance by herself and I was ashamed, horrified that I had put someone I cared so dearly for in such a perilous situation. However, I knew that the public wouldn’t believe the world would just return to normal on its own. They would suspect something and they might even try to find the real truth, so I would hold my student responsible for saving the world and proclaim her to be the hero of Equestria. I thought it was the least I could do to repay her, not only for the danger I put her in but…”
Celestia’s words drifted off, the alicorn finding it too difficult to finish her own sentence.
“For saving Luna.” Twilight completed.
The tears continued to stream down the princess’ face, her gentle sobbing the only noise that sounded in the room.
“And then it all fell apart.” Twilight continued, interrupting the brief silence. “I disappeared and was eventually proclaimed dead, but you wouldn’t accept that I had died. On the night after the funeral, some surreal part of you appeared out of the darkness and made you believe that I was still alive. You truly believed that I came back.”
“It all seemed so real…” Celestia muttered softly.
“But that strange part of you began to take over. Soon it wanted to explain why I hadn’t returned sooner and it wanted to make the ones responsible for the drought suffer as you had. It wove an elaborate tale about how the entire council had been scheming against you and how the country of Prance was trying to take over the world.”
“I didn’t even want to believe her.” the alicorn replied. “I didn’t want to believe that something like that was happening, but if I didn’t believe it was the truth, how could I believe that Twilight was real? Twilight would never lie to me and I wanted so much to believe she was okay.”
“And so the riot and the war, the two things you had tried so hard to prevent, happened anyway.” Twilight said.
There was a long pause as Celestia closed her eyes and softly sobbed, her head facing the violet tiles below.
“I’m sorry Twilight.” she said, finally lifting her head and facing the barrier. “I’m sorry for what I did. I’m sorry for everything. I just…”
But across from her was only the plain, empty hallway. The innocent looking purple unicorn she had been talking to had simply disappeared, leaving no trace of her existence behind but the simple journal that lay open on the cold floor by her hooves.
“I didn’t want to lose you…”
_______________________________________________________________________
Author’s notes:
Well, that’s it. That’s the very end. I’d like to take a moment to thank you all for reading this story, as well as everyone who commented on the story along the way. I really hope you all enjoyed the story despite the heartbreaking ending.
A very special thank you is extended to Specter Von Baren for tremendous amount of time and effort he put into this as well as StyxD for all his help with the prereading. Another special thank you goes out to TheGoldCrow, another amazing prereader and the artist of the magnificent cover for the story. I can't thank any of you enough for your support. This was the very first story I have ever written and I couldn't have done it without you your help.
Now, to answer a few questions that I imagine are floating around at this point:
Is there going to be a sequel?
At this point, I honestly don't know. If there's enough interest in a sequel then I'll probably write one. In the mean time, I'm working on some other pony-related things, including another story, so it's not like I'm going to just disappear completely if there's no sequel. I can tell you that if I do write a sequel, the ending won’t be nearly as depressing as this one. (It’s really hard to write something so sad.)
Why is the version on website A different from the one of website B?
I get this question a lot actually. I went through a pretty extensive revision process over the course of this story. As a result, it's entirely likely that some of the websites this story is posted on have different versions. (Especially the ones I have no direct control over like the eReader version on Deviant Art.) For all intents and purposes, the most accurate version of the story is on google docs which you can find links to on Equestria Daily. This version will always be the most up to date and have the proper formatting.
Can I write a sequel, spin-off, or alternate ending to this story?
I only ask that you contact me before you do so. Other than that, I would be thrilled to know about any sequels or spin-offs your working on. Just keep in mind that I haven't yet decided about whether or not I want to write a sequel myself.
If you have any other questions about the story or anything else, I would be happy to answer them. Just send me an email at admin@theamberfox.ca or post something in the comments.
_______________________________________________________________________
Disclaimer:
“My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic” and its derivatives are the sole intellectual property of Hasbro©. I do not have, nor claim to have, the rights to the intellectual property that this story is based on.
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You killed her... dear, sweet Celestia, you killed her. Or in all likelihood you did. Damn good story, and the realism of it is great, but just the mundane way you (most likely) killed Twilight off is almost undignified it seems.
Still, great story, 5/5 so I would love some sort of sequel to it of some kind.
That ending.. I kind of knew it would have to be depressing, but knowing and being prepared for it... Two different things.
Damn... it's over...
Bravo for making me hate you, amberfox. I knew it would most likely end sadly, but this was just horribly depressing. Twilight died a lonely, unheroic death in a way nobody deserves to. I didn't even get a sense of closure from it.
Meh. Ending the story by saying how pointless it all was serves to do nothing other than make having read it feel like a waste of time. Needs something more to follow up and allow the story to reclaim some sense of worth.
I had realized in the beginning that the story had to come to an ending similar to this. Twilight would be missing and everything would be thrown into utter chaos and I loved every second of the story. I would have to ask if anyone else after having read Twilight's journal had gone to find her but that would seem to be a question best answered in a sequel. I digress though and must say that this story was an extremely one to read and thoroughly enjoyed seeing Celestia shown as able to make mistakes and how those mistakes can wear on her to the point of breaking.
123550 148438 148554 I know... I felt bad about killing off Twilight after all that, I really did. It's hard to write a story where you only have one horrible tragedy after another, but I tried to even things out by including the parts with Goldenroot and Vortex. Without those two, this story would be so depressing I don't think I could have finished it. Many times during the story, I claimed that they were my "comedic relief", but I think they ended up being a little more than that.
If you're wondering why I wrote such a sad story, it's because I wanted to do something different and unexpected. I didn't want Twilight to appear out of nowhere and live happily ever after, nor did I want her to die some kind of heroic death fighting off the villainous dictator of Prance. After everything that happened over the course of the story, those kind of endings just didn't seem to fit and the many morals of the story just wouldn't hold true. Not every death is justified, fair, or even acceptable. Sometimes it is purely an accident, a tragedy, or a failure due to the negligence of another.
148573 I don't think I "explained how pointless it all was" at all. It's the nature of a tragedy to be sad and unfortunately, there was no wonderful, happy ending that could have come out of it. However, that is not to say that ALL of the characters met the same unfortunate ending that Celestia realized. Like I mentioned above, Goldenroot and Vortex both ended up having a happy ending as well as Prairie Star, Wind Dancer, and perhaps even Rarity and Thunderhorn. Rarity lost a friend, but she was able to come to terms with Twilight's death and put her own life in danger to defend her country and her friends and Thunderhorn was finally able to put aside the stubborn cruelness that took over his life since the death of Violet to help others.
And although the ending was rather depressing, every single one of the characters learned something about themselves, about others, and about the world. To me, that's the most important part, not the happy, shining trail leading off into the sunset.
148954 I'm so glad to hear that you enjoyed it. I worked really hard on this story and it's always a pleasure to hear every single compliment that comes my way.
Since I don't know if I'm going to write a sequel or not, (and since the question you asked wouldn't necessarily ruin anything about it) I'll just point out that at the story's conclusion, only Celestia and Rarity read Twilight's journal. We can safely assume that no one else read it or even saw it except two characters: Luna and Pierre. As you may have noticed, however, both of these characters were very skeptical of Twilight's return and verbally communicated it to Celestia. But even either of those two read the journal, they would have both realized that there would be no real point in searching for her since it was quite obvious that Twilight was too sick and dehydrated to survive much longer after the journal was found.
Ouch.
I've been reading this from the beginning. In fact, it may be one of the first fanfics I ever read on here. I've since read over 200 fanfics, but this? It holds something special for me, and has since the beginning. What a true tragedy, and what a horrifically heartbreaking ending.
If you decide not to do a sequel, I would at least like to see an epilogue. As one of the previous readers said, it's hard to feel closure when Twilight's situation ended so poorly. I understand it's unrealistic and a little selfish to ask for everything to be wrapped up in a pretty little bow, and I won't ask for a happily-ever-after, but...I don't know. Maybe this just isn't how I wanted it to end? I would have been happier had Twilight ended up being alive and safe, but then it wouldn't have been a tragedy. I don't know what I really want.
You wrote a tragedy, and you stuck with it. I know I couldn't have done it. Easy five stars.
149372
You're reasoning is sound and reliable, it still just seems especially depressing compared to most any other way she could have died. Just so ignominiously going out like makes the story so much more sad and touching, if a bit frustrating.
Even with the abrupt and unsettling ending I'd honestly have to say that this is one of the ones I've liked the most so far, out of the ones I've read. Do you think you'd ever consider continuing the story of Goldenroot and Vortex by themselves? I personally think they were developed so well that they would stand together just fine with a fic focused solely on their exploits. The consequences of their actions from the events of this story leave a lot that can be done with them as protagonists in future works.
Overall nice story but skipped most of the politics parts - too boring for me at the moment. Could not stop myself from reading, I wanted to know how Twilight Sparkle ended. Maybe too awkward for me to read how that cute ponies from My Little Pony end like this. Definitely going to read it at least once more, that time properly, not rushing towards end.
Keep up the good work author.
This ending was necessary even if I didn't want to admit it. I was expecting something tragic to happen to Twilight.
HOWEVER...
Am I the only one bothered by the fact that Twilight is seemingly too retarded to find north without her magic?
Oh the noes, whatever shall I do?
Hurr, durr, the sun rises in the east, but that done not tell me where north is.
170055 On the show; she seems to buckle under pressure and become very irrational (see "Look before you sleep", "Swarm of the Century", and the ever popular "Lesson Zero"). She's also overly reliant on books to tell her the answers. The one thing she seems to be studying when she has her nose in the books is magic and spells. Knowing the cardinal directions is more along the lines of stuff an outdoors man should know, not a librarian. Besides, for all we know the way the sun rises and sets could work differently in Equestria's "Earth" as Celestia does it manually. That's how I would explain it anyway.
149992 165417
It definitely seems like there's enough interest in a sequel and I would really like to continue the story. I have one other story that I've wanted to write for some time now, but when that's finished, I'm going to start working on the sequel. (My guess is that I'll start on it in a few months or so.)
Most likely, it will involve some or all of the characters in the mane six, Goldenroot, Vortex, Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and Catherine.
I finally sat down and read your story. I have to say it was pretty good. I didn't like that how Twilight die but anything can happen in a forest. I actually had some experience When I was in boy scouts. Some people need to know that boy scouts is not all about fun and games. It can well save your life. So I actually could connect Twilight until her death.
Now you mention you might do a squeal. I'm just wondering how will that work. Will it be focus on Goldenroot and Vortex. I kinda grew attach to those characters or Twilight friends or Luna. Now I'm thinking about I hope you do decide to do a squeal.
Well Keep up the good work.
704771 Yeah, it has a kind of profound effect on the writer as well. But they say that if you're do cry while you write it, you shouldn't expect your readers to...
I promised everyone that I was going to write a sequel, and I still planning on doing that, but I really did need to take a break from this for a while.
I'm not sure if you noticed, but I'm writing a comedy called 'The Mailmare' now. It's definitely a change of pace from this story, but now that The Mailmare is almost finished, I'm actually really looking forward to coming back to this.
Wow, just wow...
That was hard to read at several points I was tearing up. I mean it was like watching a train wreck in slow motion, you knew what was going to happen, you want to look away but it is so fascinating that you don't. I'm having a hard time of putting words to how I feel.
Anyways It was awesome, incredibly well written, and a joy to read.
Thank you for this story!
Oh! I can't wait!
Every conspiracy is good conspiracy because usually means interesting story.
A bit late, but still, love this story and how it's written. I'm not usually into politics but I really like how you put it here.
The only thing that's still bugging me is of course, Twilight.
She went missing, eventually was proclaimed deceased, I was sad. Then she suddenly came back and even though it was a bit suspicious how, I was still happy.
I came up with theories when things started to seem weird. Twilight being somehow manipulated by magic to tell Celestia exactly what they wanted her to hear, or that Pierre told her carefully manipulated lie having the same effect on Celestia. Another option was that they imrpisoned Twilight and who appeared in Canterlot was actually Daniel with his illusionary magic.
Then it was revealed that it was infact just a hallucination, so for all I know she could have really been killed and no conspiracy was at play here.
That in theory means you "killed" her twice. That, sir, is cruel.
However, when Celestia's army got into rather well organized ambushes by well trained soliders I became suspicious again, and that's where I'm currently at in the story so I'll continue later.
PS: Twilight better be alive, or else... *sigh* I'm gonna tolerate the sh*t out of you. But it'll make Fluttershy extremely sad if she isn't.
1512415 If you like, I can go into a little more detail about my reasoning when you're done reading, but I'd hate to spoil anything for you before you finish.
In short, I was trying really hard to make this story suspenseful. Things happen that you don't expect... Things you expect never happen... Yet, at the same time, I was trying to keep away from the "Shyamalon twist" kind of B.S. that people can so easily take advantage of in this kind of story. Everything and everyone in this story has a reason for existing and it all comes together at one point or another.
But I'm really glad your enjoying it.
P.S. I really miss how the comments used to have the chapter number posted on top of them. It was really convenient...
>> theamberfox *deep sigh*
I guess I was simply expecting too much from a story tagged with Tragedy. But I stayed optimistic all the way up until the moment Rarity brought the diary to Celestia. At least you didn't kill Vortex, I was half expecting that to happen. Thunderhorn died but I think it's better for him this way so he can reunite with his wife again whatever kind of afterlife Ponies have.
As for the story itself, the later part wasn't all that much "twisted" or surprising like the first 9-10 chapters. It was more straightforward, maybe even predictable, but not in a bad way, the conspiracies and secrets were all set and now the story was just untangling the loose ends. Twilight being the first and the last.
Gotta say, I can't really decide now what's worse. Streching a tragedy into story like this, torturing the audience with the burden of uncertainty and later to be revealed false hope. Or hurling all the feelings at them in one-shot story. Guess both have their pros and cons for both sides.
At the end, while reading the journal, my face surely didn't stay completely dry. Manly tears were shed, which happens to me at much higher rate since I started with MLP, but still happens very rarely, so I can honestly say your tragic ending worked and Fluttershy is sad, hope you're happy.
As for the talk about possible sequel in the notes. You're a good writer (or at least The Shadows of the Sun is a really well-written story) so in terms of quality I'm sure I'd like it + plus I like the way you write. However I'm not sure I'm entirely comfortable reading a sequel without Twilight, or any of the Mane 6 for that matter, in it (The tragedy one-shots and Fallout Equestria being exceptions). So, that's that, I'll wait and see what it's even about if you decide to write it, like I said, your work is worth it in terms of quality, I just don't have many Tragic ponyfics in my collection for a reason.
Now, you offered to shed some more light onto your reasoning in the story so if you'd be willing to, I'd be glad to listen.
Well, now I need some quick comedy to read to brighten the mood... *goes through the list of fics to read*
1530188
Quick comedy? Can I perchance interest you in my other story? The Mailmare? (Yeah, I write comedy too. I'm a weird writer...
)
I'll have to get back to you with a more in-depth explanation in a bit. (It takes a little while to write out.)
1531031 By quick I meant something short to read real fast to get in better mood. But I put yours on the list of fics waiting for me to read them... That might be a few hundred at this point if I'm counting the unfinished ones I'm waiting for to be completed.
EDIT: Damned reply link, why u no work!
EDIT2: Damn me, why am I defiling English like this?
1533711 Yeah, it'll take you a little while to read all of the Mailmare. It's not as long as this, but it's not short either.
The political component in “Shadows of the Sun” was originally much larger than it was after editing. When I came up with the idea for the story, it was one of the things I really wanted to write about. But after it was all said and done, I actually kind of wish I had made the political component smaller. I talked about this before, but I wanted the story to be suspenseful and dramatic, and most of the political stuff near the beginning of the story was slow and tedious, which was really the complete opposite of what I wanted. I never really told anyone, but in my original design Vortex was not a major character. In fact, she was hardly in the story at all. In the original storyline, she was executed by Celestia in chapter seven on charges of committing treason. But in order to combat the tedium of the politics in the story, I started to make Vortex a more important character. And it wasn't long after it got to the point where she was my favourite character to write about. I guess I just really liked her personality. Her role in the story was spontaneous and random and fun, and I thought her personality should reflect that. Because I had no plan for her, she was so flexible. And compared with the other characters, she really started to stick out as being unique. I wouldn't be surprised if, in a month, or a year, or ten years, if someone happened to think about this story, the only character they would really remember would be Vortex.
About Twilight, I understand what you mean. No one ever seemed to like me killing off Twilight. As I remember it, at the beginning there were two groups of people reading my story that stood out the most. There were the ones that were just sad I had killed one of the favourite characters without any real explanation, and then there were the ones that thought: “Oh great... Another one of those angsty, try-hard stories that kills off one of the mane six in the first chapter.” But what I had always planned for this story was to defy both of those groups of thinking. I didn't kill her for no reason. There was a lot of significance behind her death and I think it shows. When she comes back at the end of chapter one, and throughout the entire story, people were always asking: “Is she really alive? Is that actually her? Did she come back to life? Did she ever actually die?” Everyone started asking questions about her and that's exactly what I wanted them to do. I wanted them to think about the story and use their heads a bit. I love stories that make you think about and question what you read about and I wanted my story to be like that.
And you mentioned that the latter part of the story wasn't quite as surprising. I think that's just another inevitability of a story like this. There's a point where the story has to end and if you keep on asking more and more questions and surprising people all the time, you're never going to be able to reach a “clean” ending. But I still wanted a story that would make you think. And because I wanted to make you think, there's one question that I intentionally left a bit open. “What actually happened to Twilight?” If you remember, Princess Celestia was insane. What she saw and thought and heard was not always the truth. So when she sees Twilight at the end and when she reads that journal it's hard to really tell if what she read was actually real or not.
I think that if I ever get around to writing that sequel, I will have to answer that question. And to be honest, I think that's one thing that would stop me from writing a sequel. I don't really want to answer that question. I like to leave it up to the reader to think about the story and come up with their own answer. Because, if you want it to be true and you really think about it, it's not impossible that Twilight's still alive. But then, where is she?
Well, if I do write a sequel, that's one question you'll know the answer to.
1535404 And here you come again, tempting me with potential answers. To start from the end of your comment, I'm not really sure I want that question answered either, especially because I'm kinda afraid of what answer I'd get.
As for your reasoning about what really happened to Twilight. It's true that due to her mental state, what Celestia read in the journal wasn't neccesarily real. However, as far as I know she ever only hallucinated Twilight and things directly associated with her, if there were any hint in the journal that Twilight might still be alive I think Rarity would react differently when giving it to Celestia. Besides, if I remember right, She (Celestia) herself admitted that she actually read the journal before, but never finished it because she suspected what the ending would be.
You're right that you never explicitly stated if she died or not (some of the characters like Rarity did, but that's their perspective, we're kinds above the scene), but most evidence points in the tragic direction right now, as much as I don't like it. So, yeah, that's that, that's what I can put together at the spot about Twilight's real fate.
I understand that Twilight's death had a reason, hell, basically everything in the story was caused by it, in combination with what Celestia already knew about the conspiracy of course, so it's very much the foundation of the story. (Fun fact, you yourself in the comment just said that you killed Twilight, but I'll take that as merely assumption which drove the story forward rather than her supposedly real fate
)
On the other hand, I still don't like thinking she's dead so I'm gonna say this. Actually killing Twilight was never essential, neccessary was only making the readers believe she's dead so they would think and ask the right questions about her sudden reappearance, but not really killing her. I'll leave you with this on this topic, consider it in case of sequel.
Now for the very first topic, loved by all people on our planet, politics. I think there was just the right amount of it so if there had been much more in the original version it could have gotten a bit lengthy. I understand why you liked Vortex so much, she was the most carefree of the characters really, a lot like Rainbow Dash in some ways, in my opinion at least.
Well, and to end this, I'll leave you with a few things I realized after collecting my thoughts about the story properly.
1) Celestia has been around for thousands of years if not more, during that time I'm sure she had Ponies who were close to her, other than just Luna, and possibly Twilight wasn't her first student. What I'm getting at is that she shouldn't have broken down over a death of someone close to her because after all those years... I won't say she should be used to it by now, that's kinda cold, but she definitely should be capable of dealing with such kind of tragedy, because Twilight surely was't the first and most definitely not the last Pony close to her who died, or will die.
But that's up to discussion seeing as it was never really addressed in the show itself.
2) I'm not really sure how exactly the forest Twilight got lost in looked like, but given what Celestia read in the journal, I assume it was affected by the drought, since Twilight mentioned it was nearly impossible to get water and the plants were dry.
What I'm getting at here is that if the Forest was drying up, the trees shouldn't have been able to create cover from the sun as they would under normal circumstances, so Twilight should have beeen able to recognize East and West thanks to the sunlight, and deciding where North lies shouldn't be hard after that. But I don't really have experience with drying up forests + I presume trees have much slower "metabolism" compared to animals so they are probably able to endure drought much longer without being really affected that much. Also the thing about lichen always growing on the north side of trees, even if it's hardly 100% accurate and if we consider the drought, oh well. The next very basic thing, assuming Twilight wasn't running in extremely wide directions while fleeing from bandits, returning in the general direction of where she came from should get her back on the road eventually...
... Don't mind the point 2), I just really don't want Twi to be dead.
Well I guess that's it, wish you luck with deciphering this wall of text.
1536059 For your first point, I think I actually addressed this in the story itself. In summary, I don't really agree that Celestia should be immune to having a psychological breakdown. I established that she was emotionally sensitive about her sister. (She went through a lot just to try and get her sister back, even if it meant potentially destroying everything else. However, her plans were stopped by the council and never realized. Think about the orb and the prison...) And at this point, Princess Cadence didn't exist and it was popular fanon to believe that Luna and Celestia were the last living alicorns. Additionally, it's a well known fact that Twilight "saved" Luna from Nightmare Moon. And I also established that Princess Celestia thought it was her own fault that Twilight died. So with that all in mind, Twilight essentially saved Celestia's only sister, the only other member of her race, and easily the most important individual in her life. While it's possible, I don't think any one pony ever did something comparable to that, even in a thousand years. So I guess I never really thought it was unreasonable that Twilight's death would have such a strong impact on her.
But anyway, I'll try not to turn this into a never-ending loop of long comments. Hopefully I'll hear back from you after reading the Mailmare. Though, I'll admit, that story is a lot more straightforward, so I doubt you'll have as many questions. (It's mostly just Derpy being ridiculous...)
1536679 I wouldn't say she should be immune either (if it came out like that), just that in general a mental breakdown should be much less likely with her than other Ponies. Though I understand that given the circumstances in your story and its background, the chances are higher.
And loops of never-ending comments are fun as long as it's productive discussion.
Anyway, I'll comment once I get around to reading Mailmare. And should you decide to write the sequel I'll be waiting here for answer to that question with pitchforks and torches... You know, in case of unsatisfactory answer emergency.
I think based off the cover art that Luna goes into depression, rarity is too freaked out to do anything, celestial trolls the whole equestria and twilight goes insane.
I enjoyed this story. While I didn't agree with how Celestia was portrayed at first, I managed to suspend disbelief and get into it. Kudos for creating interesting original characters. I found Goldenroot to be interesting enough to hold his own against well established canon characters. The one problem I had with this story is that it could have used another round of editing. A few sentences didn't seem to flow all that well, emotions were narrated a few times, this sort of stuff. It's minor but it did bug me a few times, so I thought I'd point it out.
Overall, good job. There's really not that many quality political stories that I've seen, and you managed to pull it off successfully.