Octavia and Vinyl Scratch have been living together for nearly two years. What started as a job interview turned into a quirky but strong friendship that has left both members with firm understanding of each others lives - their lives since they met, anyway. The house-mates have equally grim and dangerous pasts, but how can these painful memories be tied up with Octavia's new found emotional 'itch'?
Page generated in 0.071 seconds
Total duration
1,000 users online
1,768,609 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I was kind of confused. There was a big info dump at the beginning of the story and everything seemed kind of...rushed. There was no real explanation of how Octavia and Vinyl knew Rarity and Derpy, respecitively, and things just seemed to randomly happen.
Also, I spotted a few spelling errors: "fro" instead of "for" and "won" instead of "own."
I believe slowing down and rethinking the story would help a lot.
Maybe, maybe... Well I've always been massively worried that I explain stuff way too much and the actual story line just gets enveloped in a descriptive gooey mess, so I was trying to avoid that. The change in pace may have something to do with the fact that I started this story back in September, but then it got kinda lost behind dull, real-world issues etc. However, with regards to the 'random' happenings, that is deliberate as will become apparent in later chapters. Thanks for the feedback though!
I kinda feel lost reading this, I can't explain exactly why. I do however feel that it will get better so *likes and waits for more*.
Yeah, everything's gonna piece together as further chapters are realised - at least that's the plan.
Chapter 2 will be out next weekend but exams are making regularities an irregularity. Thanks for the feedback guys! 