Twilight Sparkle, the ever curious student of the sun-goddess began connecting the dots that many of us have in the past. Good always triumphs over evil. In her last moments, as she seeming falls in defeat by the hands of Equestria's true enemy, Twilight realizes a theory she developed the night of the Summer Sun Celebration has proven true. Every major event since the return of the Elements has been staged.
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The fuck did I just read?
I love the concept, but the writing here is in need of some work. There are quite a few grammar errors (misplaced capital letters, typos, etc), but the biggest problem I have is with the flow- your writing is very choppy, and does a lot of telling. The entire story is basically a narrator telling us things that happened. The ending was very abrupt- with that kind of a twist, it's usually a good idea to include some foreshadowing. In general, this story could do with some fleshing out.
My overall reaction is neutral.
Oh that vid :P seen it before never expected a story to come from it. Story's great, I suppose if you looked you could find somewhere to flesh it out more but its not necessary. Thumb for you!
there's not enough face palms in the internets to properly express the huge amounts of herp derp in this piece
So... is it first-person or third-person?
A bit confusing, at first I thought Celestia was an enemy and was killing Twilight, then I thought Luna become Nightmare Moon again then I thought her friends were killing her themselves....now I'm just bucking confused
HAPPY HOLLOWEEN! Also a few spelling and grammer errors, nothing major.
Well, thank you all for the specific comments, they are what I was looking for to improve on this piece. I wrote it in a matter of minutes as can likely be realized, after watching the video.
Expect a re-write.
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Thank ye for your comments and input, I addressed the points you all brought up. Hopefully its a bit more to your liking now.
When I wrote it, it was a simple "Well, damn, I feel like writing." and this came out of it when I should be writing on my other fictions.
Thus the reason for it being rushed, not having much explanation, and having many errors.
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It has been re-written. Let me know if that works out better for you folks. Thank you