Peace Trot and Tactic graduate into the Guards of Canterlot. Soon after the Solar Empire and the NLR split apart, leaving the two friends on opposite sides of huge conflict. With the help of Peace Trot's best friend, Sharpshot, the two new recruits manage to escape the world of politics.
Also this story will co-written by Peace Trot in a few of the later chapters
Big Thanks to my Editor Icelordcryo who argued with me over comma placements for what seemed like an hour
Bring on the hate
Chapters (2)
Good luck Finch
Good point first: The grammar isn't as atrocious as I've seen in some other stories. That speaks for your effort.
The problem is the characters' dialogue seems stilted and not at all realistic. I read the first few dialogue exchanges then said "Screw this" and skimmed the rest, which seems to be a really bad plot setup.
Maybe take this to an editor/prereader. They will improve your story drastically. Reading some other fics might also help with creating your own style.