Divided

by Sharpshot Hcnif

Assignment Day

Chapter 1: Assignment Day

It was a bright spring morning in Canterlot, the sun cast a pinkish glow across the cloudless sky and bathed the castle towers in a rosy light. The birds of the Canterlot gardens sung their beautiful springtime songs for everypony to hear. The air was buzzing with excitement; all around the Guard Academy, ponies were setting up decorations, running around calling out instructions to one another and preparing sweet tasting desserts and mouthwatering dishes for later in the evening. It was the day that the ponies who completed basic guard training graduated and were to be assigned to either the Day Guard or the Night Guard by Captain Shining Armor. From there, it was up to General Iron Curtain to give them their placement orders.

Two recruits in particular were very excited; a young, snow white pegasus, with a dark red and black Mohawk, whose cutie mark was a red peace sign and a quiet, midnight blue unicorn mare whose light blue mane was just long enough to cover her face, and a map for a cutie mark. Even though her mane was regulation length, she still successfully hid behind it.

The two ponies strolled slowly through the academy garden, listening to the song birds in the trees. They had been given the day off because of the preparations for the graduation ceremony.

“Peace Trot I can’t believe that today’s the day we graduate! It seems like just yesterday we were crawling through the mud underneath barbed wire!” the quiet unicorn said, trying, and failing, to sound excited.

“That was yesterday Tactic,” he replied, rolling his eyes, “But yea I get what you’re saying. I can’t believe it’s really happening myself, but you know you don’t have to sound so sad about it. Did you really like crawling through all that mud?”

Tactic lightly punched his shoulder as they walked, “Of course not you dork. I’m just nervous.”

He laughed and over-dramatically rubbed his shoulder. They walked in silence for the next few moments, just enjoying the feel of freedom that came with the tranquility of the gardens.

“Where do you think you’re going to be stationed, Peace?” Tactic asked quietly.

“I hope they put me on the Day Guard here in Canterlot. What about you Tac?” he replied, turning his head to look at her.

“I dunno, the idea of going off somewhere sounds nice, to be stationed somewhere like Prance. I don’t really care which Guard they decide to put me in.” she replied.

Peace quickly looked away, red starting seep into his cheeks. They went back to walking in silence, leaving the beautiful gardens behind. Ponies were rushing past them as they looked around at all the decorations that were being set up for the ceremony.

“Why the long faces recruits?” chuckled somepony behind them.

The two recruits spun around and ended up face to face with brick-red Pegasus mare, with an uncombed black and orange mane that just barely met regulations and a cross-hair cutie mark. A pair of goggles hung around her neck, and two ear piercings were on her right ear.

“Geez Sharp! You nearly gave me a heart attack, don’t sneak up on a pony like that,” huffed Peace.

“Hey that’s Sergeant Sharpshot to you recruit,” the mare chuckled, grabbing Peace in a headlock and ruffling his mane with her hoof, “but really bro what’s with the face?”

The Pegasus pulled his head free of her grasp, his eyes darting over to look at Tactic. Sharpshot saw the glance and winked at him, giving him a silent ‘We’ll discuss it later’ look. Tactic gave them a questioning look then shrugged.

“I think he’s nervous or something ma’am,” she said.

“Come on now ya’ll don’t need to be calling me ma’am , makes me feel old.” grumbled Sharpshot

“You’re the one who said not five seconds ago that we were supposed to call you Sergeant Sharpshot,” Peace accused her, “ besides you are technically older than us.”

“Only by two years!” she whined, “Ma’am makes it sound like I’m 30!” Sharpshot grabbed the two recruits in a headlock, “Now no more calling me ma’am, got it?”

“Got it!” the two said in unison as the mare released them.

“What are you even doing awake Sharp?” Tactic asked quietly, “Would have thought a Night Guard would be sleeping right about now.”

“With all this noise going on? Hell no, there’s no way I could sleep through all this. ‘Sides I’m trying to find out if the bar will be open during the after-party,” she replied running a hoof through her mane nervously.

“After-party? Bar? Wait just a darn minute, you’re looking for Whiskey aren’t you?” Peace pointed an accusing hoof at her, switching into his native Appalossian accent.

The pegasus straightened up to her full, short, height, “Am not!”

Tactic looked from one pony to the other, “What’s so bad about her looking for whiskey, Peace? She’s 21 so she can legally drink now, can’t she drink as much whiskey as she wants?” she asked.

Peace let out a snort, “She not looking for the alcoholic beverage Tac. Whiskey is a Day Guard that Sharp’s totally in love with!”

“I am not pipsqueak! I haven’t seen the bastard in a few months and I thought we could catch up over a few shots.” she growled

“Sharp I’m still taller than you,” Peace laughed, “and you so are! I’ve seen the look you two give each other when you guys talk.”

“What would you know about love, dork?” Sharpshot growled, “You can’t even look at the mare you’re crushing on without turning red.”

Peace lowered his head, his ears folding back, “Whatever.” he said, turning to walk away.

“Aw come on bro I didn’t mean it, I swear,” Sharpshot said quietly.

“Whatever!” he replied as he started to stalk off toward the dormitories, “See ya’ll at the ceremony, maybe.”

Sharpshot sighed as she watched him leave, “Dammit!”

She started to go after her friend to make amends, but Tactic stuck her hoof out and caught her. Sharpshot looked her in the eyes, and nodded. It was best to just leave him alone for the time being.

“He’ll cheer up,” Tactic said quietly, “You know how he doesn’t like to be teased like that.”

“Yeah I know, but ya’ll know how I get when ponies do the same to me. Just can’t help but get mad. That’s partly why everypony thinks we’re related ya know. Damn I gotta do something to make this right. I’ll catch ya’ll at the ceremony, alright Tactic?” Sharpshot replied.

Tactic nodded and headed off towards her own dormitory, leaving Sharpshot to contemplate how she was to fix the damage she’s caused to her dear friend.

Comments

[Crafter]

Good luck Finch

[Lapison]

Good point first: The grammar isn't as atrocious as I've seen in some other stories. That speaks for your effort.

The problem is the characters' dialogue seems stilted and not at all realistic. I read the first few dialogue exchanges then said "Screw this" and skimmed the rest, which seems to be a really bad plot setup.

Maybe take this to an editor/prereader. They will improve your story drastically. Reading some other fics might also help with creating your own style.