A young Twilight Sparke, who is completely bored and dissapointed, has reached a conclusion. That being in a class at Celestia's School of Gifted Alicorns was not as exciting as it appeared. Given access to a forbidden section of the school library out of pity, she may discover a small gift that will change her life forever. At the very least, the gift is willing to teach her. And why does her teacher want to address him as "Sensei?"
First time writing a full story, so please kill me with Constructive Critisism.
Chapters (1)
I'm interested to see where this goes :) also, not a lot Male Alicorn stories either
This is definitely interesting also, I like the skeleton of fun you are hinting at. Im guessing one of the sources that he has is DND so all the bullshit with metamagic is on the table. Also might be fun to teach her how to cast without a horn because
Magic from the body, Magic from the soul, Magic from words, Magic from components, Magic from elements, Magic from the earth, Magic from the sun, Magic from the Moon, Magic from the Stars. Magic is everywhere. You just need to learn how to use it, and that is true for all. The only thing that unicorns have over other races is a natural arcane focus. (God that would be fun ... and terrifying with pinky to teach the rest of the six magic)
First lesson should be teleporting BUT AFTER it should be safety and rules of magic like don't put a bag of holding in a bag of holding. Don't make deals with entities outside your realm of understanding unless you can trick them. Make sure to have a fire extinguisher nearby when doing artificing. Simple stuff.
Its very good! Well written, enjoyable and kinda different. I'll be sure to keep an eye on your work.
This have too much potential!
missing quote marks, odd word choices and missing letters with two words in the first paragraph, nothing waiting a week and going over it again can't fix.
beyond that I like this so far.
I think divinity original sin 2's vanilla and modded spells (Mods by Odenblade I think their called on steam) and pathfinder 2E's occult spell list seem like fun sources for our mystery Alicorn.
between Celestia's standard lessons and Serpentine's "sources" I can see a Twilight that is much more esoteric with her magic.
Very interesting start. I’m curious how a former human got stuck in there but also why she wasn’t already Celestia’s student if she got into the school…
Excited to see where this goes the pacing feel really nice I hope we'll get some fluff too and that twi doesn't grow up too fast.