Chapter 7: It Came From The Sky.
“Oh my Gosh, Oh my God, Oh my, Oh my… I can’t believe I’m gonna get to hang out with the Rainbow Dash! I loved her in the cartoon, but I never thought I’d get to meet her face-to-face! This is like…seeing Justin Bieber in person, or something! If Florian could see me now, she’d be screaming her stupid head off! And it’d serve her right, too!”
“...Not that I’m at all interested, but how did you guys fall out in the first place? Mum mentioned something about a ‘missing hair scrunchie’, but there must be more to it than that, to break up with your best friend, surely?”
“There was totally more to it than that, Big Brother! I was always gonna give it back! It fell out of her hair during class, that’s all. I just picked it up and was showing it off to a few of my other friends, but she accused me of stealing it! So then I slapped her, and…”
“Wait. You hit her? Exactly how much of this story does Mum know, Daisy?”
“Only what she needs to. Anyway, we got into a big fight, now some of my friends are on her side and some are on mine. It’s her fault for saying stuff about me that wasn’t true, it’s her fault for splitting our friend group forever and it’s her fault we had to spend double detention with the worst teacher in the school, Mrs Truncheon. I hate her.”
“...Can we go back to the part where if you’d just returned the scrunchie in the first place, none of this would’ve happened? Or, perhaps you could’ve explained yourself to her through peaceful dialogue, rather than losing your cool and landing her a haymaker? I’m sure there were easier ways to resolve this than through violence, and losing a long-term friendship…”
“What do you know about ‘friendship’, Big Brother? I wish the real Twilight Sparkle was here, to see how you’re messing up her life! Besides, you weren’t there! You didn’t see the horrible look on her face when she was yelling and pointing at me in front of the entire playground. She totally deserved it. Emma agrees with me. So does Katie, Arabella…”
“Okay, I don’t know who any of those are and I don’t think it’s important, Daisy. What I will say in my defence though, is that you try taking control of an unfamiliar body in a world you’ve only glanced at briefly on a TV screen!”
“Um… scales, horns, sharp claws and teeth… do you see my point here?”
“Yes, but even though you’re a dragon now, at least you know your way around this crazy place! I can’t believe I have to rely on my short-tempered brattish little sister to guide me around. What would the fellas back home have to say about this?”
“ ‘Fellows’? I thought you only had one friend, that spaced-out guy who used to spend all that time up in your room every night until he went away? I still remember when I saw that funny-smelling smoke coming from your open window, and you bribed me with five pounds to keep quiet about it. Maybe I should’ve asked for ten…”
“His name was Alex! And I thought, as per our agreement, we would never discuss that unfortunate incident again. I suppose it’s my fault, trying to make a deal with an eight-year old girl… yuck, when did it get so muddy around here? I swear, these hooves are the worst. Why can’t ‘horseshoes’ mean something that can actually protect your feet, like human shoes do…”
“E-Erm… Darren..”
“Honestly, the more I see of this weird universe, the more I despise it! Just stupid, sappy ponies with nothing better to do than say how much they love each other, and if you don’t follow their mushy cult they instantly brand you as an ‘outsider’ and chase you away. Look what happened back on the farm! Not proportioning blame here, but I bet if you weren’t such a rabid superfan of this cr…ud, then we wouldn’t be stuck here as a dragon who can’t control her fire and a pony who can’t even do magic! Anyway, what did you want to say? How you can’t wait to braid Rainbow Dash’s mane and ride her around like you’re doing to me right now, I suppose? Yeah, very interesting.”
“...Well if that’s how you feel, guess I’ll let you experience the surprise for yourself.”
“What ‘surprise’? What are you talking about? And where the heck in the big, blue yonder is Rainbow…”
*BAM! SPLASH.*
Yes, fans of this accursed show reading this now who know every episode like the back of their sweaty palms, exactly what you expect happened next… happened.
And my darling baby sister, who could’ve warned me about the upcoming disaster but instead chose to jump off my back with seconds to spare to watch the inevitable collision with me and her idol whilst sporting a smirk the size of the Equator, just let it happen.
Are you starting to get the picture now that she isn’t quite as sweeter-than-sweet as her innocent butter-wouldn't-melt demeanour would suggest?
Watch your cookie jar around her, is all I’ll say. And keep all hair decorations under lock and key.
Regardless, in case you haven’t got the memo, I was currently face-down in the same puddle of muck I’d been trotting in before, thanks to some bluish winged mare with a rainbow-streaked mane and tail plus a Cutie Mark that showed a multi-coloured bolt of lightning emerging from a cloud.
(In my opinion, it should’ve been a myopic old lady with a feeling stick in one hand and a guide dog in the other, but I don’t get to choose these things. Even though I should).
Yes, it was the one-and-only Rainbow Dash in the flesh, going by all the available evidence. Sherlock, I hope you’re taking notes.
She lay right on top of me in the dirt, with a nervously sheepish look on her face, and all I wanted her to do was budge a couple of inches upwards so I could impale her on this sharp horn on my head that hadn’t had any practical use at all (until now, perhaps).
“Er… ‘Scuse me…” She chuckled as she finally fluttered off my drenched furry form, giving probably the worst apology ever. “Let me help you…”
If her sorries were lame, her way of ‘correcting’ her mistakes was even worse. I hadn’t even fully recovered from the impact and subsequent soaking before she’d somehow dragged a grey raincloud to where I still lay prostrate, before bouncing up and down on it to immerse me in freezing cold water. If I was wet before I was positively drenched now.
“Oops, er... guess I overdid it.” Rainbow said unnecessarily, but before I could politely say 'no way hosey' to any more of her unwanted ‘help’, she’d already made other plans. “Um, er… how about this?”
She then proceeded to spin around me like a hurricane, mumbling something about a ‘Rain-blow Dry’ (the wind whistling all around was too loud to make out her exact words; not that I think I missed anything essential after that awful pun).
After the ghastly gusts had finally died down, and I’d just been immersed in muck, freezing water and a raging storm in short order, I was not in the best frame of mind as you can well imagine… and even less so if I’d have had access to a mirror going by the way my now bouffant mane was dangling over my forehead like an overgrown lavender bush in desperate need of trimming.
“No, no. Don’t thank me. You’re quite welcome.” Rainbow stated with understated triumphalism, and that was just about the last straw. This f****r physically assaults me, nearly drowns me, almost blasts me away to The Wonderful Land Of Oz then has the audacity to ask for a ‘thank you’? Why you…
It was the maddening laughter in the background from my obviously amused sadistic little sister that finally made me snap. No way of getting back to Earth… stuck in this disturbingly unfamiliar body I don’t understand and by extension this entire wacked-out world… having to take part in this dumb quest I don’t even want to do… and now to be treated in this appalling manner. By the most obstinate, egotistical, pain-in-the-flank individual it’s ever been my misfortune to meet, pony or otherwise; I’ve had all I can stands, and I can’t stands no more.
“Why don’t you look where you’re going, you short-sighted maniac? You could’ve caused a serious accident! You shouldn't even be allowed out on the road! Your licence should be thrown into a paper-shredder! Then, you proceed to soak me to the bone, and nearly cause me to be blown away by a tornado. What part of that pattern of abuse do you think deserves a ‘thank you’, Rainbow Dash? Or should I say, Rainbow Crash.”
This seemingly unflappable (get it?) pegasus rolled her eyes through most of my blistering lecture there and even seemed on the verge of falling asleep… that was until the last two angry words that left my mouth. “W-What did you just call me?”
“Didn’t you hear me first time? Okay, I’ll repeat it… so even somepony as inexplicably dense as you can understand. ‘Rainbow Crash’. A name well-earned I’d say, and certainly one that reflects your true self far more than your current one does.”
“H-How did you know… W-What happened to me in flight school? I-I thought it was only me and Flutters who…”
“Huh, what are you talking about?” Despite me obviously being the injured party here, I couldn’t help but feel a tad guilty as the previous bastion of confidence Rainbow Dash seemed on the precipice of bursting into tears. “Relax dude, I was only blowing off some steam…”
“You know what, it doesn’t matter anymore. I got over my past a long time ago, and I don’t give a flying feather what anypony thinks. I will make the Wonderbolts someday, and prove all of you jealous haters wrong! So call me whatever you like, we’ll see who has the last laugh when I’m soaring through the sky alongside Spitfire and the rest of the gang! What a shame, unicorn-who’s-name-I-don’t-know-and-don’t-care, I thought you looked kind of cool from up high, but I guess even I can be wrong sometimes. Goodbye, but first a word of advice; you better adjust that attitude problem of yours, or you won’t make any friends around these parts. Especially looking like that…”
I was about to call out Rainbow’s blatant hypocrisy in talking to me about having an ‘attitude problem’, as well as ask her what she meant by ‘looking like that’, but she’d already blasted herself over the horizon even before I could flap my yap. Hmm. She’s fast, I’ll grant her that. Maybe I should’ve offered her a job as my Uber Eats delivery person. Cold pizza pies are just the worst… hey, what’s with Daisy all of a sudden?
“Really, Big Brother. Just when I think you can’t stoop any lower, you go and use somepony’s fillyhood trauma against them? Shame on you! I thought you were better than that, but I suppose now I know differently.” She’d stopped laughing like a deranged hyena at my perpetual suffering a while ago, and now regarded me with a withering look of the utmost disappointment, which somehow seemed even worse.
“Hey, wait just a second!! I don’t watch the show religiously like you do, so how was I meant to know calling her “Rainbow Crash’ was going to trigger some unpleasant flashback in her brain? This is just like that “Rotten Apple’ situation; I know nothing about Equestria and all the weird creatures that live here, so how can I tell when I’m about to put my foot… or rather, hoof in it?”
Daisy looked like she wanted to say something clever in response, but (for once) the biggest self-proclaimed smartmouth around was unable to think of an effective counterargument to my point. “I-I guess you’re right.” She reluctantly acknowledged, kicking the ground in annoyance. “You don’t know anything at the best of times, so how should I expect you to be up-to-date on the troubled backstory of a character you’d never really heard of before? I was just frustrated that I didn’t get to say ‘hi’ to her, or even ask her to sign my tail. Plus, we didn’t manage to get her to clear the sky for the Summer Sun Celebration. What will Celestia think now, when she sees so many clouds remaining…”
“You know what, at this point… I could not care less.” I grumbled with a frown, indicating where on my back Daisy could resume sitting. “Let’s just go to the next destination, and we’ll deal with the consequences of our actions later.”
“Your actions mostly, Big Brother. And if you don’t mind, I’ll walk for a while. Your back is still kinda wet, your mane looks utterly ridiculous… and to be totally honest, I don’t think that’s just mud you fell in.”
*********************
Stupid stuck-up unicorns. Think they’re better than us pegasi just because they can use magic. Serves me right I suppose for trying to be friends with them, I guess. Never trying that again. At least earth ponies are humble enough to accept their limitations in tending the land. In fact, there’s a friendly-looking one down there now staring right at me. Think I’ll nip down and say hello to her. I could do with a nice long chat, after that last unpleasant encounter.
“Hi, I’m Rainbow Dash! What’s your name?”
“Hi Rainbow Dash! I’m Applejack of Sweet Apple Acres!”
“T-That’s some hoofshake you got there, Applejack. Anyway, what are you doing in Ponyville today?”
“Actually, I wanted to talk to you ‘bout that. That purple unicorn with the baby dragon I just saw you speakin’ to… mind if I ask you a few questions ‘bout her…?”
Stats
Page generated in 0.037 seconds
Total duration
1,027 users online
2,157,789 hits today, 1,872,792 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Why do I feel like my last comment is becoming weirdly prophetic?
Wow, racist.
11738977
11739023
Let’s just say Rainbow’s not quite in her right state of mind. A bad influence from somewhere, maybe?
That went about as well as expected. Daisy's a straight-up bitch that thinks she knows everything and refuses to be of any actual help, Darren wants nothing to do with any of this and has a rude sense of humor to boot, and Rainbow's a jackass who thinks too highly of herself to see what she did to make Darren go off. "Make friends with a unicorn" my ass, Rainbow. You don't even bother apologizing, do things without asking, and then you ask for thanks? Great game plan.
11739028
Other readers may have different opinions about our main characters' behaviour so far and their reaction to the unusual situations they find themselves in, but what Rainbow did to Darren/Twilight is EXACTLY what happened in canon.
The REAL Twilight must've had the patience of a saint not to call RD out there and then in the episode, but Darren has no such qualms as you just found out...
Darren is reacting in reasonable manner for a human.
Physical assault is kind of a big deal on earth.
And AJ? What are you plotting? Will Darren ended up as a buddy with Nightmare Moon because his relationship with the gangs were too sour to defend himself that he wasn't a spy?
11739024
I smell wendigos
11739028
Daisy's the kind of know-it-all brat who's mindset in all this is 'well you'd know all this if you didn't constantly blow me off', as if Darren had any reason to believe he'd ever be in this situation. I'm a brony, but I feel Darren in this. I'd be the exact same if I got stuck with my little brother in Steven Universe or something.
11739037
I mean she lived in Canterlot, city full of stuck up ... nobles? I always assume those are nobles that somehow out-survived Celestia purging through centuries to the moment she went hippy. Add to the fact that Celestia is a troll and you have explanation why Twilight is so hard to rile up ... up to the moment she finally snaps, then there are going to be bigger (and crazier) problems.
Anyone who can spend a day in close aproximation of genuine aristocrat without blood rage activation deserves two things:
1.A medal and title of saint patron of peace;
2.A question about what is wrong with him/her that this city still qualifies as "not-necropolis";
11739315
Soooo chances are that our suffering protagonist will try to exchange less useful draconic-advisor-sister model fo better death-metal-pony-that-understands-my-pain -with-siblings ? Because let's be honest , there is so much one can tolerate family before you do the opposite of Tywin Lannister (truly a saint of patience considering what he had in close relation 24/7) and go "Be-a-kin-slayer , buck-consequences" . Current scenario seems to lead this way... well not the violent way but same direction...
I'm pretty sure by now she would prefer to be far away from the whole disaster-in-the-making...
And remaining bipedal and having thumbs probably helps.
Guess you can say goodbye to the original timeline.
Good chapter!
I enjoyed reading it.
Okay, so both siblings are utter ass-hats. Their mom should be ashamed!
11739112
Thought you might agree. You can't just go around mowing people down without insurance, then adding insult to injury by drenching them AND messing up their carefully-combed manes! Not cool RD, not cool! And if anypony should know about 'cool' Rainbow, it's YOU!
11739194
'Fate' or "destiny' isn't writing the story though, it's me. IN MY POWER!!
11739275
Really? I smell burning. OH NO MY PRECIOUS PANCAKES!!
11739315
Yep, there are definitely elements of that... but then again, she IS just a nine-year kid, and can still grow out of the worst excesses of her behaviour. That or therapy, who can tell...
11739347
Good point with Twilight, I never thought of it that way. Maybe it shows the original writers looked for far more depth in her character than we gave them credit for. And as for any potential 'allies' Darren Jones might befriend... the phrase 'Wait And See' springs to mind.
11739567
Glad you're enjoying it, dude. And I'd already made that point about Daisy's 'extra' advantages still having two arms and legs, but I didn't want to rehash the same stuff every chapter. Let the reader figure it out for themselves I say, like you've so ably done.
11739809
A lot of people are, in some way or another. But we mature and change, or in some cases forcibly adapt to make things easier for ourselves.
And don't forget their father's role in leaving his wife and kids in the lurch like this. More on him later...
Well, uhh, there's nothing left to do but...
ALL HAIL QUEEN NIGHTMARE MOON!
Also, this so far deserves an 8/10: Great.
(RU) Чувак это было потрясно! Взаимодействие брата и сестры это прямо вишенка этой истории. Очень хорошо показана ненависть старшего брата ко всему этому. А ещё я только сейчас задумался о том, что них случилась двойная смена пола... Интересно младшая сестричка решится играть влюблённость в Рэрити? И ещё ждём когда главный герой вспомнит о том как его бесит стук копыт по полу, это что то вроде воды капающей из крана или тик-так старых часов когда начинаешь об этом задумываться это начинает действовать на нервы и бесить, только в случае пони от этого не избавиться! Если только не надеть мягкие накопытники)
Но вот у меня есть вопрос, а почему Селестия никак не отреагировала на пожар в доме её верной ученицы? Наверняка ей докладывают о происходящих в городе возгораниях особенно когда это дом личной ученицы.
nice chap
Ok dude, I you messed this time but I swear if you hurt Fluttershy, I will come in there and SLAP YOU IN THE FACE.
good book so far, I'm just mad
I'm excited to Read this but I'm also worried but most excited because there's new chapter to read.