Chapter 17: Bonding In The Forest
“... Big Brother…I…”
“Yes, bratfac… I mean, Dais?”
“I heard that. You better start treating me better, or next time you’re about to be hideously tortured whilst tied up, I’ll leave you to get your eyes poked out, throat slit and horn decapitated.”
“... For the last time, I wasn’t being held prisoner! Fluttershy just overdid it a bit on the hot towel front, she really didn’t mean any harm. You’re more the one I’m worried about: I think me and mum need to start updating the age restriction settings on your Netflix account. What on Earth put that unbelievably disturbing image in your…”
“ Someone’s never played Five Nights At Freddy's all the way through. Twice. And if you think what I described there is bad, you need to read this fanfic my ex-friend Florian sent me involving Pinkie Pie and a batch of very special cupcakes…”
“I don’t want to know. I will say one thing though, you’ve got some nerve telling me I need therapy, when you’re playing graphic horror games and reading gruesome stories… all at the tender age of nine. When I was as old as you are now, I never would’ve…”
“...What, been any fun? Yes, Big Brother I believe you. If you’re this boring now, who knows what you were like when you were a little kid. It’s not like you ever talk about it.”
“...Yeah, Dais. Not something I feel comfortable with discussing at this moment in time, and completely irrelevant to what we’re trying to do now, which is to stay one hoof-step ahead of a herd of mad ponies. You must see them running after us from your backwards vantage point, and with your super-enhanced-dragon-vision, surely you can tell me how close they are behind?”
“Hmm. I think you’re being a bit optimistic there, Darren. My sight is about the same when I was a human, only not quite as wide-ranged with more limited colours. Like I told you in Canterlot, remember? I think I may have spotted Applejack and Rainbow Dash arrive as we ran into the woods, in which case we have nothing to worry about.”
“Interesting. What makes you say that?”
“A little contest called ‘The Running Of The Leaves’, when you beat both their flanks into joint last place. Congratulations, by the way.”
“Cheers. I suppose you’re talking about Twilight Sparkle here though, not me. Did she win it then?”
“No, she came fifth. Still pretty good, considering how much of a nerd she is.”
Terrific. Really fills me full of confidence, that. “Anyway, I think we can take a bit of a break now in this secluded clearing. I think I must be getting used to this body, as I don’t even feel the least bit tired after galloping for twenty minutes non-stop! Now if only I could control this erratic horn and it’s untapped magical potential, we might finally be getting somewhere…”
I came to an abrupt halt in the aforementioned grassy patch surrounded by tallish trees, and ignoring Daisy’s obnoxious whining about her sore bottom, I endeavoured to decide what we were going to do next. It’s a shame I had to abandon Fluttershy like that, but as long as her crazy friends are around, ain’t no way I can risk receiving any help from her. Maybe, if me and bratface can avoid being caught before’hoof’ and gatecrash the festival to speak to this allegedly all-powerful Celestia one-on-one in private, we may be able to get her to understand. I’ll just ask Daisy about the best way to bust in, and… “Eeeeww”.
I tried and failed to turn away in time to miss the arresting sight of my-sister-turned-firebreather rubbing her scaly posterior on a patch of orangey flowers she’d uncovered in the corner of the clearing. “Aahhh, now that’s good! Just like rubbing a dock leaf into your skin when you’ve been stung by a nettle. Don’t ask me how I knew these would help my butt feel better, they just did. I must be some kind of plant genius…”
“Couldn’t agree more. So much so that you destroyed a very rare dandelion outside the mayor’s house, and now because of that we probably have every pony from miles around hot on our tail trying to capture us. What part of ‘let’s not make our terrible circumstances even worse’ did you not get, Daisy?”
“Oh buzz off, Big Brother. You really want me to bring up your charge sheet since we woke up here? Compared to me, you’re like a career criminal! Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea coming back to you so quickly… you always were a bad influence on me. That’s what I hear Mum say on the phone a lot, anyway.”
“...Okay, enough already. We can spend all day arguing about who’s to blame most for what situation and how we ended up here in the first place, but it’s not gonna get us anywhere, is it? We need to sit tight… take a pause… not make any more hasty decisions…”
“Oh, you mean like stealing all the food in a shop? Or embarrassing us in front of the Apples by mentioning a disgraced family member? Or re-traumatising Rainbow Dash by bringing up her nickname from when she was bullied at flight camp? Or nearly drowning us when you couldn’t keep your big mouth…”
“You just love to rub it in, don’t you? Besides Dais, as you well know most of those were accidents. What did you expect me to do after finding myself in an unfamiliar body in a world I don’t know the first thing about… blend in with the locals?” I snuck a peak to see if my sister had finished up her soothing ‘routine’, before trotting over to sit beside her on a conveniently-located log located underneath a shady branch. “I really think it’s about time we started working together more whilst we’re stuck here, or at least pretending to until we get it right. What d’ya say? Fancy a fresh start?”
“...Fine.” Daisy agreed to my terms in the most non-committal way imaginable, turning away as she did as if in a huff. “Gotta have somepony I can rely on I suppose, even if it’s you.”
I shall ignore that last comment, just to keep the peace for now. “Come on, Dais. I can tell something’s bugging you. Care to share?”
“... No, don’t wanna.”
“You know, it’s only gonna sit inside your head and get worse and worse if you don’t let it out. Come on, what have you got to lose?”
“...You wouldn’t understand, Big Brother. You’d probably think it was stupid, or worse still, laugh at me. So I’ll just keep it to myself, if you don’t mind.”
“...Maybe you’ve got a point there, but I think you’re forgetting something. I’m not ‘Darren’ for the time being, I’m ‘Princess Twilight Sparkle’, the mythical purple unicorn from the magical land of Equestria with a big horn, weird tattoo, girlish voice and all. If you can’t speak to her about your friendship problems, who can you confide in?”
“Dream on, you’re no ‘Princess’. Not for another sixty episodes at least. And how did you know it was friendship-related?”
“Dunno, just a lucky guess. Or perhaps, as an equine ambassador of friendship now, I have an inbuilt radar which homes in on anyone who’s going through relationship issues. So anyway, now we’ve established the root cause of your moodiness, let’s get to the heart of the issue, shall we? Is it about Mum? Me? Your old bestie with the stupid name? I don’t think we have much time before our four-legged friends catch up with us, so if you’re going to tell me, it better be soon…”
Pffff. “They’re no ‘friends’ of mine.”
Ah, we’re finally getting somewhere. “So, what can I derive from that last comment… that you had some kind of bad experience with ponies, possibly in the short amount of time when you left me to my own devices? You’ve more-or-less implied that much anyway, you may as well…”
What happened next, folks, may not come as much of a surprise to you. But for someone who’s known Daisy May Jones since her unexpected premature birth nearly a decade ago, it was an absolute shock on a par with me deciding to become a teetotal monk, or something.
(My middle name is ‘David’, by the way… just to make things equal. I won’t tell you who I got that from…) spits
I felt a smallish scaled form fling itself at my exposed neck, and its smooth hands firmly wrap themselves around the back as tears freely ran from the creature’s slit eyes.
Yes, folks. This was indeed my generally uncaring, mischievous, sarcastic, tiresome representative Of All That Is Naughty And Bratty little sister in a full and ungarnished emotional breakdown…
…And it was me she chose to unveil her moment of crisis to. I know, I had to do a sharp double-take as well.
“Oh Darren… i-it was awful. T-The things they said about me… t-that I was some kind of stupid, terrible, worthless person… t-they didn’t think I was listening, but I could hear every single word… t-the ponies here hate me, Darren, they actually hate me. E-Even Rainbow Dash…”
All of her pent-up emotional hang-ups and problems came bursting out like an erupting volcano along with a steady stream of hot, lava-like sweaty tears. It’s all I could do to keep pace with her blubbery self-agonising, but all she really needed from me in return was a warm hug and an occasional reassuring pat on the head.
Which is fine, because as far as empathy training goes, that’s probably my absolute limit.
"I-I don’t think I like it here anymore. L-Let’s leave this stupid place as soon as we can, and get back home to Mum… she’s probably called the police by now… don’t worry, I’ll tell her it’s not your fault. For a change.”
“Gee, thanks…” I smiled down at her with amusement as the strained sobbing at last began to subside. “And there was me thinking you were going to make up some farfetch'd tale about me abducting you so we could fly off to Las Vegas together and I’d spend all your college fund on drugs and seedy hookers while you played the slots. Pretty unlikely, but probably a lot more believable than what actually happened. Anyway, do you feel better now after letting all that out?”
“Y-Yeah, a bit. Sorry for being a pain.”
“What was that… an apology? I wish I had a picture handy, so I could frame this moment.”
“Don’t push it, Big Brother.” Her brief moment of contrition didn’t last long, as she hopped off my body to be as one with the grassy ground once more. “You’re just lucky enough to resemble the only member of the Main Six I like now, after the horrible way the rest have treated me and you. If you still looked like Darren, my dopey older-but-not-wiser brother, I don’t think I’d have been half as open. But thanks, anyway. You did your best to calm me down, your neck is warm and fuzzy, and I appreciate it. Really.”
“Charmed, I’m sure. And I’m with you as far as your opinions about the other ponies goes, apart from Fluttershy. I think you’d like her, if you gave her a chance.” I got up off the overturned tree I’d been sitting on to stretch my now multiple limbs. “Ouchie, major cramp. Gosh, who’d have thought having so many legs would be so much trouble? I live for the day I get back to just having two again. I mean, you can grip things with these stubby hooves easier than I thought, but even so… huh? Daisy? What are you gazing up at in fear all of a sudden? Why is your lower lip quivering? What’s with the slow backing away? And where did this large shadow come from that’s almost blocking out the… oh.”
In case you hadn’t noticed, I can be slow on the ol’ uptake sometimes. My reputation for being a bit dopey is well and truly warranted…
…Particularly when it takes me more than ten seconds to process the giant blue-skinned, thirty-foot, one-eyed, loincloth-clad muscular bloke armed with a club closing in on us at an uncomfortably fast rate of knots.
So, that’s what felled the tree we’ve both been making ourselves comfortable on, then. It’s a good job I’m not wearing any trousers, because if I was, I’d have double-filled them by now. Hopefully, he’ll be so busy taking care of ‘Monster Business’ (whatever that is), he’ll totally overlook a meaningless mare and a tiny reptile on his way to pillage villages, bespoil the ladies and whatnot.
“RRRRRAAAAGGHHHH!” Oops, looks like I thought too soon. As per usual. His single bloodshot pupil blinked angrily as he unerringly stomped through the undergrowth towards me and Daisy, waving his huge wooden weapon in the air as if he couldn’t wait to introduce it to us.
At extreme close quarters, that is. Repeatedly. Help!
Another chapter crossed off the list then. Something a bit more sedate and character-focused, but as the ending reveals, things will soon pick up again.
Bye for now! 
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11856056
I’m sure if people really wanted to find my replies, they’d go to the trouble of clicking on the right page wherever it is. And it’s no big deal to type in ‘hr’, every so often, but thanks for the advice anyway. Hope you enjoy this next chapter too…
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Well, of course.
Una buena charla entre hermanos que necesitaban desesperadamente, al fin y al cabo solo se tienen unos a otros
Parece que se viene pelea épica …
When I was still in middleschool back in... about 2009-ish, kids were smoking at the age of ten. Fucking ten! And they were playing GTA San Andreas! And to this day, kids would still be chugging several energy drinks per day if it wasn't for stores no longer selling energy drinks to under 16 year olds!
Kids will do whatever they damn well please and not understand a single thing about what they're doing aside from 'haha we do the funny cool thing' just for the sake of being one of the cool kids. It will keep happening and it can't be stopped, no matter what form it takes. Everything's different, but nothing's changed.
What? What kinda monster is that?
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It's a pretty well known one. The description alone should be a big clue...
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A cyclops?
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What’s that supposed to mean?
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I've answered this question through PM. If anyone wants to know anything else that might be spoiler-ific about this story please contact me using this method (bear in mind, I won't give too much away I wouldn't in the comment section anyway and I appreciate politeness).
A very wise decision.
Except this time it appears they are working together...
That may make things a tiny bit more complicated for you.
This must be one of the best decisions they had made since they arrived.
Good chapter!
I enjoyed reading it.
More fun to come..