Chapter 2: Ready Player Two [Re-edited]
Ninja-VS-Bear: Thank you, nurse Luna. 😘
Luna giggled as she sent Felix an eye-rolling emoji; this banter was always a high point of her night. She couldn't get this sort of interaction anywhere else!
Of course, they had never met in person, being from different dimensions and so forth. That he was human was where her knowledge of his appearance began and ended, but she knew a bit more regarding his personal life.
For instance, that he hated his job, loved creative media such as music, art, and videogames, that he enjoyed a good cheese sandwich and – despite his flirtation staying strictly on the playful-goofball, innocent side – that he was a romantic at heart.
That last one was more of a guess, really.
Oh, he could come up with some innuendos that even made her blush – and just might make her sister immolate – but there was a strict line he didn't cross. He was very conscientious of her feelings and limits, and she was deeply thankful for that; how much of a disaster would things have been if, rather than innocently asking a few questions about her day and accepting whatever answer she gave, he insisted on more details? Or if one of his references to human-world events and concepts being met with silence caused him to become upset?
That hadn't happened, though. He had figured out very quickly that there were things Luna would be oddly silent about, or details of her life she would selectively omit, and had never even brought up how reticent she was. He chose to focus on what she did want to share and make the most of it.
She was profusely grateful for that. She was also very guilty about that.
What would she tell him, exactly? 'I'm a pony from a world with magic, not a human?' He would think she was joking at best, and insane or lying at worst! She knew very little of the human world – all the more reason to keep Equestria's existence a secret, for the time being – but she knew that they lacked real magic, and that such claims would be met with the most extreme skepticism. Outright anger, in the worst case.
So she kept silent on many things, only picking out things she could safely comment on – like Felix's relationship with his coworkers, or how he felt about his job. He had told her a great deal more about himself than the reverse; she knew he had divorced parents (apparently quite common in the human world) who were still on good terms (much less so, based on what he said about it), two sisters, and a brother.
She knew he loved his family, though they did not talk much, and that he was a loyal friend who always came through for others – though too shy to reach out to them. Or anyone, really; it was a wonder he'd contacted her to adventure with him at all.
She certainly never saw him approach anyone else. Help if they needed it, but move right on by without a word afterwards. No, she was special to him – a unique exception, the one person he reached out to, the person he spent almost all of his nights with.
She wanted to reciprocate, to be honest and open with him, but she knew she couldn't. So she kept it general, vague – no details, just impressions, emotions, that sort of thing.
She spent long, lonely, boring nights waiting for something to do – waiting where? For what? No details.
Sister was 'sister', they worked together – doing what? Where? She never said.
She enjoyed it when she got to help other people – helped them with what? She couldn't tell him she fought off their nightmares.
It felt very much like lying. Technically not lying hardly felt better than lying outright. That was how she rewarded his openness, honesty, the unique opportunity he'd given her by reaching out; with evasiveness, misdirection, dishonesty veiled in technicality.
She hated it. The closer they grew – and they had grown quite close in the past three months, she thought – the more she hated it. It had been nine months, now, since she returned to Equestria, and she was closer to Felix than anyone else.
No one could replace Tia, but her sister's constant concern, nagging, and sadness regarding her had put a wall between them. It actually hurt worse because they were close. Every conversation devolved into Tia's disapproval for Luna's lifestyle and behavior, how she should take the obvious route and go to Ponyville and make friends – it had been a thousand years, but Tia still did not understand how hard all of this was for her.
Nor did she understand just how hostile ponies really were to Luna. The last time she visited the marketplace, ponies screamed 'Nightmare Moon' and actually bolted. What kind of mass panic would ensue if she visited Ponyville?
Felix wasn't the only one Luna omitted some details from; Tia would overreact if she knew, do something rash to protect her sister. Luna knew that her exile had hurt her sister as much – more, perhaps? – than it had her, and Tia worried so much as it was. Bringing more sorrow to her was out of the question.
Luna knew Tia meant well, that going to Ponyville seemed like the logical choice to her sister. She also knew that if Celestia was aware of how bad Luna's reputation really was, how hopeless everything seemed – or how difficult all of this really was for Luna – she would be heartbroken.
Hopelessness is a feeling best kept to oneself, Luna felt.
She mustn't have been the only one to think so. The guards never mentioned Luna's difficulties in controlling her voice's volume, her continued struggles with modern Ponish, or the event in the market to her. They understood the situation just as well as she did; she was grateful for that little bit of common ground, that bit of courtesy.
Guards spoke little, but only a fool would think they also saw, heard, or understood little.
Luna had thought that bit of unspoken understanding might mean she could bridge the gap with other ponies in the palace, but it was not to be. They seemed intent to keep their distance, and so she did as well.
Keeping her distance meant she couldn't get hurt. Very, very easy behavior to fall into, for Luna – and difficult to climb back out of. No, there was no one else she could be close to like she was with Felix.
Before meeting Felix, she had thought she might have to wait a generation or two for ponies to forget about her – and then, maybe, she could find her place in the world. It was a horrible way to think, and she wouldn't be able to stand it, but there were times it seemed like the only hope she had.
But now she had a friend! Tia had repeatedly insisted that Luna needed to go to Ponyville, to reach out to Twilight Sparkle and learn about friendship. How else could she possibly make a friend?
Hah! Oh, Tia, if you only knew!
The idea of going to Ponyville had been a pit of terror in her stomach. It seemed logical, it seemed inevitable. But Tia always seemed to assume that everything would work out perfectly, because...
Well, for Tia, most things did. Luna knew her sister suffered from loneliness of her own – that the fawning obeisance of their subjects revolted her, caused her to even act out at times, and that Tia would love nothing more than to flee the palace and see the sights. Adventure, travel, perhaps start a war – more likely end one, somewhere, but the point was the same.
Celestia had her own struggles, Luna knew that. But they were not the same. Tia had no point of reference, no empathy for being a pariah whose every attempt at opening up was met with fear, enmity, or revulsion.
It was very much like a blind pegasus harassing an earth pony to stop making such a big deal of it and simply fly up to the clouds to join them. Tia couldn't see that she lacked the wings, and Luna had no idea how to explain it to her. Her attempts to do so were always met with a simple, 'but you have to try.'
She had tried! Over and over! How many times did she have to go through this? How much suffering did her sister want her to endure with a smile?!
No, no, Luna knew that wasn't fair. Tia just didn't understand, but would never want her to suffer.
And so the wall between them remained up, and Luna tried things her own way, despite Tia's disapproval.
It wasn't so bad. She had a friend – another pang of guilt for how little she shared with him – and they had good times together! Felix was doing another of his goofy victory dances over a slain monster, and she told him he really needed to cut that out with an eyeroll.
Of course, this just resulted in his avatar getting practically on top of the dark elf and dancing even more. Even fleeing didn't help – he just kept following her and cycling through dance moves! It was actually sort of impressive, that being hard to do with the UI in this game. Felix did tend to put more effort into goofy shenanigans than one might expect.
Finally, he stopped and gave her a thumbs up. She was about to blast him with a fireball and tell him off – in-character as Lelea, of course, not for real – when a familiar knock at the door caused her to freeze with dread.
Lelea: Brb.
She flicked off her monitor with magic.
Time for one of the talks with sister dearest. Oh, she hated being so reluctant to see her sister's face; if anything, she and Tia should enjoy each other's company, the way she and Felix did! She wanted a good relationship with her sister! She hadn't started gardening lavender and replacing it each night outside Tia's chambers because she didn't care!
But no, it was going to be another flight around the same clouds as every conversation, and Luna hated it, couldn't keep it from showing on her face, and knew that just hurt her sister more. Something had to give.
"Sister," Luna greeted as she opened the door. She tried not to sound cold, but she had her guard up, knowing what was coming and dreading the inevitable looks of disappointment.
Tia smiled, warm and sincere. If she took note of Luna's tone she didn't show a hint of it, of course. Of course. Because Tia never, ever seemed to struggle to be perfect.
"Luna, could I come in? I wanted to talk before going to bed."
At least Tia dropped the formal diction around her. It was her little way of helping Luna adjust to modern Ponish. Luna noticed these little details, but she didn't know how to thank her sister.
On the other hoof, she had to hold back a groan as this encounter played out exactly how she knew it would.
"Of course."
Tia strode in and glanced around. She didn't show disapproval or reproach at the state of Luna's room, but she didn't have to; Luna could well imagine it.
She did show a little worry, though. That surprised Luna; perfect sister had given something away. She hated making her sister worry. She really had to do something about it, but what? Nothing came to mind.
"What is it you wish to discuss with me, sister?"
The royal 'we' was never, ever used among co-rulers, but Luna couldn't help lapsing into formal diction, kicking herself internally for the slip.
Celestia's eyes lingered on the messy area near the computer, causing Luna to blush. "Well," Tia's tone took on practiced gentleness, "I wanted to know how you were doing?"
This was another lead-in to another discussion about going to Ponyville, which Luna would reject, which would worry Tia... Luna could see it all playing out in her head and hated every bit of it. It was bad enough being useless! She didn't want to also be a burden!
"I am doing fine," Luna replied, and she tried to put some sincerity in her voice, even a ghost of a smile. It didn't really manifest – she couldn't even meet Tia's eyes.
"Lulu," Tia's voice cracked with genuine concern, startling Luna, "I'm worried about you. Lately, you seem more distant than when you first came back."
Luna felt a cocktail of emotions; a flare of annoyance, a pang of guilt, a stab of shame. Part of her blamed her sister for the situation; Tia never seemed to listen!
But she mostly blamed herself. It was her fault, after all, wasn't it? Other ponies could deal with these situations. She was the broken one, and it wasn't Tia's fault she couldn't understand that.
She almost said, 'We just need some time,' a well-tred line with Tia that no longer did anything to allay her sister's worries, but the words died in her throat.
Tia was trying to be sincere, here, trying to reach out. Luna could see that. But how could she reach back? What could she do to make her sister understand, and put her at ease?
Something had to give! She settled for walking up to her sister and nuzzling her gently – a gesture that had become quite rare between them, lately. Certainly, Tia was taken aback.
"I am sorry for worrying you. I have been... occupied. But I do not wish us to grow apart."
Luna had grown well-versed in selective omission at this point, she realized with regret.
"Occupied?" Celestia's mind raced. "With... what? I've been informed you hardly show up for night court anymore, that you spend your time... here." Luna could feel her sister turn her head to the computer, and gently broke their embrace.
"Our subjects do not seek my council," Luna said bitterly, trying to swallow her frustration. "They do not come, and... I cannot bear to sit on the throne for hours and hours, confronted with my own... redundance. My uselessness."
"You are not useless!" Celestia's voice came out stern, and Luna was pulled back to her with a wing, prompting a startled 'eep!'
Their talks didn't normally go like this!
"Don't ever say that! I need you! Please!"
Luna had known how much her exile had hurt Tia, but she hadn't thought about what her behavior was signalling to her sister. Not until that moment, anyway.
Tia had felt like she was losing her all over again, she realized. Keeping everything to herself wasn't working. Luna refused to hurt her like that again! She hadn't realized how raw this was for Tia – forced smiles and endless patience had led Luna to think her sister only worried for her sake, like a problematic child under her care, or an errant student.
The wall was hurting Tia more than it was hurting Luna. It had to come down, if only a bit! It had to give.
"They still fear me, Tia." Luna's voice came out shaky. Honesty was unfamiliar, dangerous territory for her, these days. "They avoid meeting my gaze, whisper as I pass. Those who do not flaunt their fear openly show it in their eyes. It is..."
Luna chewed her lip. How much honesty was too much? She continued, "It is worse than I have told you. I did not wish you to worry overmuch; it is a problem of mine own making, for me to confront."
They stayed there, Celestia clutching her younger sister to her barrel, for a minute or two of silence as she contemplated. Clearly, she had taken the wrong approach to all of this.
You would think years of diplomacy with all manner of creatures had taught her better, but close personal relationships were always a... weakness of hers, and all that experience had actually only served to make it worse by ingraining habit and automatic behaviors that didn't work here.
She knew Luna was not some naive, errant teenager who simply needed a push in the right direction, but that was how she had treated her. In her defense, Luna very much looked the part right now – no, that was irrelevant. She hadn't shown Luna the respect she deserved – that she needed – and that was why this had happened.
She had to listen with an open mind. Questions, not unwanted opinions.
"Is that why you didn't want to go to Ponyville?" Celestia offered. Luna nodded into her barrel, and Celestia thought that over. Her first instinct was to assure her sister that Ponyville was a lovely, friendly, welcoming place, that Twilight would accept her unconditionally – but that wasn't true, was it?
After all, Twilight had sent her a letter detailing how the town had reacted to simple zebra visiting. Fear was not something the townsfolk handled well – and fear was exactly what Luna had said ponies felt towards her.
Celestia inwardly bucked herself for the grave oversight. Small wonder her sister had grown increasingly distant and irate at her constant, gentle insistence that she get out more; how much of this had she gone through to become as reclusive as she now was? How bad was it?
If it was anything like what Zecora, the zebra detailed in the letter, had faced... that must have been devastating for her little sister.
"Perhaps," Celestia said, her tone carefully even, "I was wrong to suggest it, after all. Overly idealistic in thinking it would be so simple. I am sorry that I was dismissive of your struggles."
Luna shuddered, holding back a flood of emotions. It had been some time since someone had genuinely listened to her, and it was painful.
"You were only trying to help. I'm the one who hid things from you," she said, ever-aware of her own fault in all of this.
"I understand why you did." Celestia gave Luna a gentle squeeze. "I should have listened more."
And talked less, she didn't add. It would just upset her sister if she showed the depths of her self-reproach, here and now, she knew. This wasn't the time for arguments over who was more at fault.
The two were silent for a few moments, while Celestia's mind raced to find the right words.
"Going to Ponyville by yourself is too much, I understand that now," she said, still putting it together, "but I am sure Twilight Sparkle could be a very good friend to you. Maybe... I could invite her here? So the two of you could meet?"
Luna chewed her lip. It sounded reasonable; she could spend some time out of her room, meet someone new, come out of her shell – or hoodie – just a bit.
Part of her wanted to take that chance, to reach out and say yes. But when she pictured it, she couldn't.
"Your student has her own life to lead. You sent here there for that very reason – and even if she did come here, she would feel obliged to be my friend. You've said many times she's very clever – the last thing I would want is for her to put together your intentions and think you're commanding her to be my friend. Or, worse still..."
Luna didn't voice out loud her fear of being rejected outright by Twilight, but she didn't have to. The thought chilled Celestia, too, though she knew it was incredibly unlikely. Fear of rejection was only natural for her sister at this point – but Twilight was an incredibly accepting pony. Perhaps Luna just needed a little push?
"You make a good point, but I still believe it is worth a try. When you're ready," she added, giving Luna a reassuring stroke of the mane. "I just don't want you to be alone. You need more than just myself – I want you to be happy, to have a friend."
"I have a friend!" Luna exclaimed, the pressure to be honest overwhelming her better sense for a moment. They parted from the hug, and Luna grimaced slightly as she looked away, unsure of how to explain.
Celestia was simply stunned for a moment, thinking over when Luna could even have met somepony. Her eyes trailed to the computer, and it clicked. Luna regretted opening her mouth when she saw that, knowing what would follow.
"Is it somepony you met in one of those games?"
The Internet was still very small in Equestria, but there were one or two primitive games that could be played on it, now. Luna didn't even think to correct Celestia's understanding of the situation; her face was burning from what an idiot she felt like, and she dropped her gaze to the floor. A 'friend', she had said – she knew Celestia wouldn't approve of how they had met, or the shallow relationship they had.
"... Yes..."
Celestia wanted to be supportive. This was, after a fashion, progress, right? At least Luna had somepony to talk to aside from her and the castle staff. Her first instinct was to be disappointed, disapproving – but she stomped that down. It hadn't helped their relationship in the past nine months, and it certainly did her no favors with Luna... before.
She gently lifted Luna's head with a hoof. "I'm glad you have somepony you can talk to, Luna. Does this pony know who you are? Who you really are?"
As new as the Internet was, Celestia knew it was largely anonymous, and it would be just like Luna to cling to that out of fear of rejection. Luna shook her head gently, still averting her eyes, and Celestia had to fight to suppress a sigh. Baby steps, she reminded herself.
Luna wanted to pull her hood up and close it, shielding her from Tia's gaze. The feeling got worse when Tia said, "A friendship has to be built on honesty, Luna."
"I have not deceived my friend!" Luna replied quickly, "nor would I ever!"
Celestia hesitated, not wanting to push too hard. Baby steps, after all. It was Luna who said, "But... I haven't told them the truth, either."
"Do you... trust this pony? Do you think they would reject you?"
Be respectful of her boundaries, Celestia reminded herself. She didn't know the whole situation, so it was better to ask questions than to offer unwanted opinions. Luna shook her head and said, "No, I... I trust him."
"Then I hope you find it in yourself to tell him the truth, maybe meet this pony." She gave Luna a gentle nuzzle. "You have so much to offer, Luna. Anypony would be lucky to have you as their friend. Please believe that."
Luna was silent for a moment, then said, "Thank you, sister," and nuzzled back. Celestia didn't know about the connection Luna had made to the human world – the spell was old, powerful, and the way she had used it was... perhaps reckless. She didn't want her sister to worry more, but she also knew keeping it a secret was yet more dishonesty on her part.
The two were at war within her, even as Celestia broke contact and said, with a smile, "I'll let you get back to your game – and your friend. Goodnight, dear sister."
"Goodnight, Tia..."
The feelings of guilt and shame only got worse as her sister departed. It made her want to crawl under the covers and vanish.
Even as she tried to open up with her sister, she was keeping secrets. Even as she tried to open up to Felix, she was keeping secrets.
She had once wielded the Element of Honesty against Discord. The thought brought a bitter feeling to her; how far she had fallen!
When she turned her monitor back on, she saw Felix's avatar jumping around hers, and the sight made her smile desite herself as she approached her desk, mind still whirling with thoughts.
Lelea: Back!
Ninja-VS-Bear: Took you long enough, is everything okay?
Luna hesitated. Should she tell him? After a few moments she decided against it. She just wanted to relax and play, forget about it all for a few hours.
Lelea: Yes, everything is fine. Let's go on with the quest. :)
Ninja-VS-Bear: Oki, then let's go! XD
Luna smiled as the tension quickly went out of her. Playing, bantering, exploring, undertaking quests, arguing over loot – simply talking and enjoying each other's company. All of this was so nice, so soothing.
She should have been able to lose herself in it completely, as she had countless other evenings, but as the hours wore on she felt a rising discomfort.
What Celestia had said was true; a friendship can't be built on dishonesty. And no amount of dancing around technical truths changed the simple fact that Luna was being dishonest. Felix had no idea who she really was; he had accepted her unconditionally for her personality, and that was deeply appreciated in itself, but the fact remained that she couldn't call this a friendship with any sense of pride or confidence.
Calling it that made her feel ashamed, in fact.
Tia had told her to put herself out there, to be honest, but... how? The frustration only built as time went by. Felix was her friend, he deserved to know whom he spent his nights with. For all of the solace he'd given her, it was only proper she should show some trust – but it wasn't like she could simply say it and expect him to believe her.
She had even avoided voice chat up to this point. If only she could talk to him face-to-face! If he had been a pony in Equestria, as Tia had assumed – more indirect deception on Luna's part – this could be so easy! She would have told him who she was weeks ago, if that were the case!
If he were here! If he were...
Luna stopped and seized on that. If he were here? Wasn't that... possible? To get him here? She knew the spells...
It was a ridiculous notion, one she would have dismissed before her talk with Tia, but now she couldn't let it go. Tia wanted her to make a real friend; Luna had a friend, but being apart had kept them from growing closer.
If she brought him here, that would resolve the whole problem, wouldn't it? No more nights of dancing around details with him, no more pangs of shame and guilt in calling him her friend!
Come to think of it, this was inevitable, wasn't it? What was she going to do, go make other friends and forget about Felix? No! That thought sickened her. Equally repugnant was the idea of simply leaving him in the dark, dancing around the details forever. As the years drew on, he would wonder why she never opened up to him, wonder what he'd done wrong – no, no, no! She wouldn't do that to him.
This was a solution – the only solution! She would have a real friend, she could finally be open and honest with the people she cared about! Tia would stop worrying, and Felix wouldn't have to get hurt by her dishonesty!
Besides, humans were fond of stories about being transported to other worlds, weren't they? Felix had said that when she asked what made games like Legends of Aetoria II so popular. (Well, he had also mentioned its excellent combat system, but honestly, that was a given.)
This would work! He would have a blast getting to explore a whole new world – not just a virtual one, this time! Her adventurous friend would love this, and she'd be there right alongside him! Yes, this was the solution!
She grinned widely as she began typing, feeling a sense of hope she'd never had before.
Lelea: Would you like to come visit me?
Stats
Page generated in 0.031 seconds
Total duration
1,049 users online
1,841,143 hits today, 2,244,100 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Oh boy, here we go...
This is interesting. I eagerly await for the next update on this exquisite story that you have created.
It’s happening
Bet you all 50$ he’s going to lose his lunch.
Or if he’s having lunch/dinner then he might spill it on luna when she teleports him.
Interesting concept you got going here. Hope to see more soon.
Oh man, I created the account just to vote for this. Wonder in what type of pony he will change. (If it's pegasi, I am sold. Best book I read here) Hope to see more of your amazing work
Here we go everyone, it's time for Felix to meet...
And now the real game begins.
I got 20 bits that he's going to end up on top of Luna in an awkward position and a night guard shows up because Luna screams.
11555233
Welcome to the site. It was a story on this site that made me join too.
11555249
Better yet, Celestia walks in
Don’t mind me I’m stealing this
Anyways, awesome chapter! Can’t wait for Felix to go around and flirting or doing silly shenanigans he does to cause us to laugh or Luna to blush in embarrassment or get annoyed
Felix needs to take advantage of being in the another world on a funny level
here is the speed
oh boy, a new door opened.
11555279
Yes
Ooooooooooo!!! This is getting better and better!
Well my interest lies with the story concept, and the curiosity to see how it plays out; so you can expect me to be around for a while. I would wager everyone else is also curious to see where it goes.
And don't feel the need to write and publish a chapter every day. I find that it is best to write at a pace that is just one knotch below comfortable so that you don't burn yourself out, even pick a day or two where you don't touch/think about the story at all!
With all that said, I am looking forward to the direction this story will take.
Now THAT'S a good story! I guess that the best part here is the behavior of the avatars, I can totally relate!
Hope to see more of that!
This is getting good. Felix is in for a big surprise!
What I'd give to play a round with Gamer Luna 🥲, anyway, dope story seems pretty fun so far. I had no idea u were even behind this Danish, I saw the art, tossed it into my "Read Later" list and was just eyeing it. Saw u made it and instantly had to read it! Now I'm sad bc it's so early, anyway, good shit keep at it, I await for more!
Good Soup.
11555861
Oh yeah, I didn't notice that. Thank you, I'll edit and fix that.
As for the timeskip, the prologue was more to set it up that Luna was getting into gaming, but she wasn't really socializing online. So when the first chapter begins it is three months later, after the prologue. Maybe I should have made that more clear? I hoped to hit home that point in chapter two by saying it has almost been a year, but maybe the hints did not work as intended? If not, I can understand the confusion.
Good so far
I'm just wondering how the final conversation goes, before Felix's kidnapping happens.
Luna: Dost thou wish to visit Us?
Felix: Sure, if you live nearby. You could live almost half the world away.
Luna: Well, We live close enough to get thou here within mere moments... if that is thy wish.
Felix: Wait, you live just around the corner? Are you close enough for me to walk down? I'll come over.
Luna: Really!? There is no need, We can teleport thou. Brace thyself.
Felix: Erm, what?
Can't wait to see it.
Here we go, lol. Though this is quite the unique way to bring a human to equestria, at least I've never seen this sort of way be used
I wonder what he'll turn into.
11556157
im gonna guess unicorn or earthpony
I wonder what will happen when Luna pulls Felix though the game and into her world. How will he look?
👍
Also, congratulations on your story being so popular right now!
OK, finally something's happening. I've been as mystified by this being featured as you have up to now… but that's always a mystery anyway, so…
By the way, even in Ye Olde Speeche, the royal 'We' is for speaking to inferiors, not her sister.
Looking forward to seeing where this goes! Also, congrats on being top of featured for what...over 3 days at this point?
11556787
Another dane?
Hvor mange danskere er der på denne her side??
Tell me Felix have you ever seen Captain N?
No
Then this will all be new to you.
11556851
Once my guild also assumed my career. I had the best spelling and grammar so everyone thought I was an English major.
Sure. What could possibly go wrong?
I’m really enjoying this premise so far! Could use a little fine tuning, but it has the makings of an amazing rom/com type story. Not many people try to use Luna right after she returned, and this shows off her insecurities rather well.
11557012
Thank you. ^^
Yeah, the first two chapters are rather, hmm, thin. But I am working on the next one with an editor that has done great work in pointing out some quirks of mine. So hopefully the quality will be much better this next chapter.
11557031
I shall wait for it in bated breath then
I hope him and Luna will get married some day
This story, it needs more Cow Bell, but it's great!
As always, Danish Dash does not disappoint. I only hope this story will be completed one day, and not cancelled.
So it begins… I’m liking this so far.
I do like the direction this is going.
So, Not only is there a typo in the first paragraph here, where you have a double hit on the comma, but I also want to point out that there is a wording change that I think would significantly improve the prose here.
Think about the context of some of the concepts in this part, and think about how different phrasing might improve them. "Thanks to their magic they could communicate" Is a bit vague, ambiguous, and something of an understatement. You don't use a term like "It was only" at the beginning, which accidentally implies that there would be any other way. You use the term "their magic" which accidentally implies that he also has magic, when I think you mean that it is Luna's magic, and therefore, "Thanks to her magic", or barring that, refer to it as "The Magic of" in order to give some vague explanation and give yourself the opportunity to foreshadow what said Magic is about to do. You say that him being human was all she knew, which implies that that actually tells her something, without any qualification, so it's not clear to me if she's seen humans before, if he's described humans to her, or if he's told her he is human and she just doesn't know what that means. It's just a little nitpick on this story, that the idea is really interesting, but it feels like your prose could use improvement.
This is very true for Celestia.
You can just look at the three most personal relationships we know that Celestia has to see how true it is.
Luna ended up feeling ignored and jealous, so much so that it led to the whole Nightmare Moon thing (don’t really know enough to go into more detail on what happened back then).
Sunset Shimmer felt like she was being held back (and she might have also felt like she was being kept at arms/legs length when she wanted to get closer) and ended up running away, later she came back and stole the Element of Magic in an attempt to prove herself to Celestia.
Twilight Sparkle practically worships the ground Celestia walks on and easily gets into panic attacks and mental breakdowns if there is even a hint that she might disappoint Celestia.
The best person relationship we know Celestia has is with Cadance, but that relationship doesn't appear to be deep enough that Celestia would find Cadance's OOC behavior suspicious enough to investigate (granted it is possible that Chrysalis did more research into how Cadance behaved around Celestia so as to avoid suspicions from her)
This story is a rare case of characters being written as flawed but sane and reasonable people. Ones who can have a tough conversation, without turning it into a forced "I can't say the thing that'd move the conversation forward because the plot requires that I hide things" situation. Good work.
It's quite curious that the pony Internet is crude and very much not widespread, yet there was a spell considered "old" which allowed a computer of the current vintage to seamlessly connect across dimensions. And which can apparently allow complete compatibility to systems which by any reasonable manner should literally be alien to each other.
Friggin magic!
Felix Alicornio
Felix
Felix Cat
Oh god, luna sounds like such a ROB…
11619717
I imagine it's more of an information transfer spell that let's info be transported between universes
I get the impression that that would end like...
i.redd.it/clark-you-asked-v0-1mfp22wurjoa1.jpg?s=b2ce512c2eb93f51daa16f50cefc7b24e50e92b2
It cuts off there, but the next line is, "you asked."
Thus, to take a page from Avatar: The Last Airbender, no action she could take would end positively. Nothing she could do would do any good. So she does the only thing she cando; Nothing.