just a spartan and some testing his reading stills and seeing if my story have good plot to them. Could use some criticisms
Page generated in 0.185 seconds
Total duration
1,057 users online
1,799,029 hits today, 2,921,617 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Well too bad! He is a Angel of Death, what are they gonna do?
11403425
Take lifes that had lived for too long
11403429
Does that include a certain couple of immortals?
Good start let's see what happens next
You have him as the "Angle of death" in your long description.
You mean "angel" right?
11403592
...I won't lie, I like the sound of a man with a Geometry Book walking around calling himself 'The Angle of Death'. Sounds like a good Comedy waiting to happen.
11403599
Yeah I went to go see if I was spelling angel right but no I was spelling angle. But I am too lazy to change it so
11403609
HAHA, GEOMETRY TEACHER TURNED DEATH'S EMISSARY, LET'S GO!
you need to get someone to edit/proofread your work
plenty of sentences are awkward, your text is in massive blocky paragraphs, and the dialogue feels stilted
“Don’t fear the reaper”
-Blue Oyster Cult
11403425
Cancel him on twitter.
11411134
They don't have Twitter.
And if they somehow have that terrible site, then they deserve to get reaped.
When next chapter coming up? I hope it long story.
11412741
I would but I am currently trying to get through high school. and it is not going well as I have credit recovery online and it is hell like fuck
I don’t want to be rude but can I get a status update on this story?
11550026
I honestly am working on updating this story and you can talk shit man I DO NOT GIVE A FUCK. But yeah High school keeps getting in the way, but I am working on a new chapter so
Thanks for the chapter
11551384
Good luck with the high school stuff
11551491
Oh and I may be typing the rest on my phone cus I use the school lap top they lend to help with CR and assignments online so there is that
Okay dude the story is getting better. I mean it makes sense Angel of death they're supposed to take the sould of those who cheated them and not give them eternal life. And the two sisters did took advantage of the reaper that still kind of messed up. No seriously this story is very exciting. I mean easy really going to succeed in taking the sisters souls away or give them a chance to live longer.