Fallout Equestria Phoenix Rising

by ProwlerCaboose

Fallout Equestria Phoenix Rising Prologue

Fallout Equestria: Phoenix Rising

By ProwlerCaboose

Prologue.

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God my head hurts.

I awoke in a daze, head pounding and dizzy. I started to rub my temples but…why are my hooves tied up? My eyes shot open and I frantically looked around, only to be greeted by small pieces of light filtering through the cloth over my head. I tried to stretch my wings, but it was no use. I was trapped.

“Fuhk!” I tried to yell, only then realizing I was gagged. This day keeps getting better doesn’t it? I could hear voices…

“He’s awake can I kill him now?!?” said a pony with an off demeanor…he must have been a raider. He broke into insane laughter.

“NO!” said another voice…a familiar voice…”Ask again and I’ll fucking shoot you.”

I know that voice…but it can’t be…

I felt the bag ripped off my head, my eyes quickly adjusting to the moonlight. I could see the wreckage of caravans…sky chariots…this must be the Cloudsdale ruins. But more then I saw the area I was in…I saw a light grey Pegasus with brilliant purple eyes staring at me.

No…it can’t be…

“Hello brother.” He said looking down at me. “I can’t believe this is what it’s come to… look at you! You are filthy, taking up mercenary work! You were a Wonderbolt!!”

I closed my eyes...I knew what I had done. But it was going to be shoved down my throat. Again.

“YOU HAD ONE MISSION…One. Simple. Fucking. Mission. You took one mission of putting down a major threat. All you had to do was kill the one filly. What was her name again? Silver Bell? She had a balefire bomb Prowler. A BALEFIRE BOMB. Do you know what kind of destruction that could cause? Instead of simply taking out the threat you killed 2 Wonderbolts! You even had the guts to come home and face a trial! Instead of choosing to die with dignity, you abandoned us all and become a dashite?! WHAT THE FUCK PROWLER!?!? What do you have to say for yourself!?!” he yelled. I looked up at him…if only he had known...if only he knew what had to be done!

He slowly pulled out a knife and looked at me. He started coming towards me, intent in his eyes. I knew what came next…I cowered away

…I'm ready to die but…not like this…not this…messy…

I felt the cold steel against my neck…this was the end. I clenched my eyes shut...and felt the gag loosen up. It fell to the ground…I could hear water dropping…I looked to my brother. He was crying, each time I saw a tear fall from his face it hurt a little more. I looked forward.

“I just couldn’t let that happen.” I told him “she watched her family die. We killed her sister. I wouldn’t allow her to be put through more. Why are we here?” I asked him, not looking back.

“The Cloudsdale ruins?” he said, recomposing himself “no one will look for your body here.”

Makes sense. He has to kill me but he is still my brother. He wouldn’t want my body disgraced.

“Are you going to kill me?” I asked. I think it hurt him more than anything to hear those words come from me.

“Yes.” He answered, sobbing slightly.

“Why you?” That was the only thing I wondered. If this was the end, then I wanted that question answered.

“Because I know you better than anyone in the world.” He walked next to me and stared off into the abyss, alongside me. “and because they know I’ll do it.”

Now I looked at him. His black hair flapping in the wind, the single purple streak flowing back into his face.

“Will you really?” I looked at him. I struggled a little but it was no use. “Do you have that in you? To kill your own brother?” his face faltered for a second. Only for a second…

“Shut up.” He said looking back at me. “I know I can. You’re a threat to the Enclave and to everypony else. There is no way I can allow you to live.” Wow. I’ve never seen him looking so serious. He was usually so happy and care free…what I did must have changed that…

“It’s time Prowler.”

He had a pistol strapped to his arm. It was a silver plated, engraved to look like it had wings going down the barrel

“This is a modified 45. pistol.” He said looking at me, pulling it out of its holster and balancing it with a hoof in front of me. He was showing me the specifics he couldn't shot me when he had it in his mouth “It’s designed to do the most damage to your brain. The bullet will pass though your skull, and destroy your brain…I was given it specifically to kill you with"

“Isn’t that a bit much?” I said looking at him.

“No, you know the Enclave. All about style, and this pistol Flitter here? She has style.” He said chuckling slightly.

There it was. The side of him I always knew, always quick with a joke, always wanting to have fun.

“Is it wrong to say I’m glad?” I asked. Looking forward again “I’ve done so much…so much good…so much wrong…I deserve to die. I’m glad you’ll be the one to do it.”

WHAM!

He hit me…and it hurt.

“SHUT UP!” he roared at me. “I know you probably feel shitty about what you did but that doesn’t excuse you! You did so much good.”

“And bad” I countered. He merely looked at me and raised his hoof.

“As I was saying, you have done bad. But you have done good.” He stared at me.

“You know the longer you take to do this the harder it will be.” I told him, I saw a tear go down his face.

“Yeah I know. I don’t care. It’ll be hard to do anyways. At least this way I can get some things off my chest. I don’t want to kill you. I want you to come back. But your number one on the Wonderbolt hit list. You’re a dashite. You are still my brother.” He started to cry again “we both know that cant happen. You’ll keep killing, keep fighting. It is time for you to stop, the wasteland can’t do it. So sadly I’ll be the one to do it.”

“Well. I guess this is goodbye then. Thank you for finishing this.” I said looking at him.

He moved behind me and I felt the roundness of a metal barrel against the back of my head.

“Goodbye brother” I said looking forward.

“Goodbye Prowler” He said, through a muffled mouth.

BANG!!

Then darkness…there was no light at the end of tunnel…only darkness…

Comments

[Mashmaster]

Oh dear...
Reading with imgur on standby.

--Intro--

...passed since everypony...

So the protagonist is directly adressing me? Did we meet in the diner of lost souls?
This introduction feels... unnecessary. Let's see where this goes.

--Prologue--

Fallout Equestria: Phoenix Rising
By ProwlerCaboose
Prologue.

Completely unnecessary but not wrong either.

__________________________________________________________________

Use the {HR} tag.

I looked up at him…if only he had known…he pulled out a knife.

This could have been phrased better. Possibly: I looked up at him as he pulled out a knife. If only he had known.
Also note how thoughts are clearly separated from description using italics.

It was a silver plated 45. style... “This is a modified 45. pistol.”

Doubling details.

pulling it out of its holster and balancing it with a hoof in front of me.

I was under the impression that guns in the FO:E universe were mouth-operated.

“It’s modified into a 9mm The bullet will pass...

So... the pistol was downgraded? Also, missing full stop.

Maria

Now ain't that a kick in the head. Perhaps naming the pistol something different will silence the alarms in my head.

--So far--

an Dashite

So the Intro was directly after the prologue or was it a sign that the protagonist is going to valiantly sacrifice his life at the end of the story.
Now this is just personal preference but I find that the amnesia cliche works best when the reader is as clueless as the protagonist. We already hold the cards in this story and Prowler hasn't even been dealt a hand yet.
It's no coincidence that I'm getting a massive New Vegas vibe here, is it?

[Deathpony]

good chapter

[ProwlerCaboose]

fffffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu i was typing the 1st chapter and it failed to save!!! 20 pages gone!!!

[p4rr15h]

1401724 THAT is rather unfortunate, If it helps, you do have my attention here

[ProwlerCaboose]

Hey everyone, if you ave enjoyed what i have posted so far then i urge you to stick around. it is certainly going to take me a ling time to get the first chapter written. That is mostly because i want the top quality with my work. (i'm going to loose internet for a while so i'm going to put all my work into writing.) I don;t know where the story is going as of right now, so i'll have to figure it out before i move on. I will most likely post from 3 to 5 chapters when i start it off.

[primepersephony]

Interesting, I shall keep an eye on this. Also the art is fantastic do you have a source link?