All These Shining Lights

by InkyTalon

Ch 11: Confessions

After wishing Starlight goodnight, Sunset caught Twilight just as she was closing the door to the guest room, leaving the doctor to rest.

"Twilight?" Sunset Shimmer's hoofsteps were light and slow, reluctant, as she made her way towards the Princess. "How's he uh, doing?"

Twilight turned to face Sunset, then glanced back at the door. "Okay, I think. A bit rattled, but a little kindness goes a long way, as Fluttershy says."

Sunset smiled weakly, and nodded. "G-Good, that's great."

"Is everything alright, Sunset…?"

"Mmm-hm. But um, I have… something I want to tell you, if now's an okay time."

"Oh?" Twilight blinked at Sunset, then smiled warmly. "Of course. You can tell me anything."

The alicorn and unicorn both sat on their haunches on the castle floor, facing each other.

No going back now… Sunset thought woefully, already feeling her anxiety skyrocket as Twilight looked at her expectantly.

After internally telling her heart to stop racing so fast, Sunset admitted, "I'm… really nervous about it, to be honest."

"About seeing Celestia again?"

"No— I mean, yeah, that too. A lot, I'll admit.. But… if our reunion ends up going well… I might end up visiting Equestria a lot more often when I'm not in school."

"Really? Oh, that would be wonderful, Sunset!"

"Yeah. I think so too…" Sunset gave Twilight a half-smile, then looked down, tracing circles on the floor with her hoof distractedly. "I'd get to see you way more, and that thought makes me really excited… because I…"

Sunset swallowed, and met Twilight's eyes.

Oh Tartarus here goes—

"... I like you."

"Like me? As in…"

"As in… I….. like you."

Twilight's lips parted, and she gasped almost silently. Sunset held up her hoof.

"Before you say anything… can I tell you why?"

Twilight Sparkle stared at her friend for a moment, processing… but then nodded, and tilted her head to the side curiously, ready to listen.

Sunset let out a slow breath, then began.

"I once had this mindset that getting what I thought I deserved…" Sunset glanced around and gestured at the colorful crystal walls. "...a castle like this, wings like yours…" She gestured back to Twilight. "...was what I needed to feel worthy. I didn't care what I had to do to make it happen, I did it because… if I didn't get what I thought I'd earned, by any means possible… I'd feel like more of a failure."

Sunset then smiled, looking down and then back at Twilight. "But you saw through that. You gave me a chance when no one else would. You offered me friendship when I didn't deserve it. And that kind of unconditional kindness and insight and forgiveness… I'd never seen it before. You knew what I really needed, and you… you gave it to me without a second thought."

The golden unicorn's lip trembled a little from the emotion she felt; reliving the moment when Twilight offered her hand to pull Sunset out of the pit, and show her a better way.

"Because of you, I had real friends at Canterlot High. They gave me belonging. And then you came back… and though I was a little jealous that the girls made you the lead singer and didn't include me in the band, I was just… so happy to see you again. Unbelievably happy. That night at Pinkie's… I felt a connection with you. We just… seemed to click. And when we sang together, stood hand-in-hand against the Sirens…"

Sunset drew in another deep breath. It was like she had just started to pour her emotion out to Twilight, but the more she did, the more she overflowed with it.

"... I couldn't stop thinking about you after that. No matter how hard I tried. And I had just found a home with the Canterlot High girls… but in the back of my mind, I wondered if I'd have a chance in Equestria… with you… someday. And… I know this is a bit of an awkward time to bring this up. But I'd um… really like to know your thoughts."

Sunset Shimmer, now finished, gazed upon Twilight to see her reaction to all this.

Twilight Sparkle looked beyond stunned. She didn't breathe; just gaped ahead blankly. Her gaze slowly traveled downward, staring at the floor but not really seeing it.

Oh no… oh no no no…

"... Twilight?" Sunset croaked, feeling her blood run cold. "What's… What's wrong?"

Had she said too much? Ruined their friendship? A thousand possible outcomes ran through Sunset's mind at once, and they were all bad. The last thing she'd wanted to do was make Twilight uncomfortable.

The alicorn now began to appear very deeply saddened. Crushed.

"I'm so sorry…" Sunset whimpered out, almost too quiet to hear. "I… shouldn't have said anything. Can we just… forget that happened?"

Twilight bit her lip, and shook her head. "No… I'm glad you told me, Sunset. It's me who's sorry."

Sunset frowned as she gazed upon Twilight, seeing the pain in her expressions. She wanted to move closer to her, comfort her from whatever troubled her so badly… whatever she'd caused.

But the golden unicorn stayed where she was, bracing herself for what Twilight was surely about to tell her.

---

Twilight wished she could have reacted any other way… she really did. She cared for Sunset so deeply…

Twilight didn't want anything between them to change. Twilight didn't like change… and she knew she'd inevitably have to see a lot of things change around her, if she's going to live for over a thousand years or longer.

But her friendships? They were sacred to her. She wanted to preserve them at any cost. And that's one thing that made Sunset's confession so hard for her… Sunset desired for their relationship to change and evolve, and Twilight… didn't.

And she didn't want to hurt Sunset, or ruin her dreams, and risk their friendship changing that way, too. What if they… drifted apart after this?

But there was more to it… much more. And Sunset deserved to know.

Twilight Sparkle inhaled, deep and slow, and exhaled… the way Princess Cadence had taught her. She had to be brave now.

Finally, she spoke.

"Well… you see, Sunset… I don't think I'm interested in having a special somepony… any special somepony. I'm not sure I… have that kind of capacity in me…"

Twilight bit her lip, tensing as pain gripped at her heart. She didn't want to let Sunset down, but she had to be honest. She only hoped Sunset wouldn't be too upset… she'd hate for their friendship to change, and she'd hate to hurt her even more.

Sunset's posture drooped and she drew in a shaky breath, but beyond this, she would try to disguise her heartbreak.

"I respect that." Sunset replied coolly after a moment, appearing downcast but accepting the rejection.

"I'm so sorry, Sunset. I'm so sorry. But you know how much I care about you, right?"

Sunset looked into Twilight's violet eyes, knowing she'll never have her, not in that way… but she'll always have Twilight's friendship and guidance, and that was equally as important to Sunset if not more. Sunset smiled softly, weak but genuine.

"I do." The unicorn soothed. She then couldn't help but ponder about what Twilight had meant… about 'not having the capacity'. It must be a reality Twilight might struggle with sometimes.

"Do you wanna talk about it? As friends."

"Sure. I'd like to talk about it with somepony… I never really have." Twilight gathered her thoughts for a moment, before continuing.

"I… have felt fleeting attraction for some individuals, male and female. Little crushes that come and go... like Flash Sentry. But they never really go anywhere and the feelings fade… and I think I'd rather it stay that way. I don't feel like I need a relationship, or for things to get physical with somepony in any way. My heart is happy with my friends and my books."

"Oh…" Sunset looked down at her hooves, recalibrating as she let Twilight's confession settle in her mind. She lifted her head to gaze off to the side, thinking… before turning sharply back to her friend.

"You know, if you're really satisfied with your life as it is… I think that's pretty powerful. I'm happy for you, Twilight. Really." And Sunset meant every word.

The purple alicorn smiled softly, grateful for Sunset's understanding. Twilight felt accepted, and oh Celestia, it was a lovely feeling.

She had felt uncomfortable with herself for not being as enthusiastic about finding a special somepony, no matter how many years passed by. When everypony around her expressed at least some interest in romance — even ponies like Rainbow Dash — it was… isolating at times.

She just… didn't feel like she needed it. And she definitely wouldn't be able to give somepony what they deserve in a relationship anyway, when she has to juggle her time between her duties as a Princess, and so many friends.

Sometimes she speculated if she was born this way, or if this was formed in childhood… being far too overly-studious to think about friendship, much less romance. She wondered if she was… broken, somehow.

And here was Sunset… justifying her. Validating her. Empowering her. Even after being rejected. Sunset really was a fantastic friend.

"I am satisfied. Thank you. Romantic love is very powerful, too, but it's not for everypony, I guess."

"Thank you for telling me this, Twilight," Sunset said. "I feel closer with you… now that we've gotten such personal stuff off our chests."

"I feel the same!" Twilight beamed at her with a bright smile. "There's nothing better than a good talk with a great friend."

While this conversation hadn't gone the way she'd previously hoped, Sunset was grateful for a chance to offer her acceptance to Twilight, just as Twilight had done for her.

The Princess placed a gentle hoof on Sunset's shoulder.

"And Sunset… I know you'll find the happiness you're looking for. I've researched love and romance heavily, and… the great thing about it is you can love again. Many times if you need to, until you find the one you're happiest with."

Twilight then grinned slyly. "In fact, I bet there's somepony — or somebody — out there that loves you right now."

Sunset perked up at that. "Really? Who..?"

"Beats me! That's for you to discover." Twilight winked at Sunset. "But I know you'd be so worth loving."

"Thanks, Twilight. That… that really means a lot."

"Of course."

The two ponies smiled at each other for a few moments, both of them feeling very emotionally vulnerable but… more free now. Like a burden had been lifted. And their friendship… strengthened.

Then Twilight pulled Sunset into a warm, happy hug. Sunset melted into the embrace and returned it. They accepted and loved each other… really loved each other, even if not in a romantic way. She wouldn't hesitate to call Twilight her very Best Friend.

Sunset pulled back, standing upright and rubbing the back of her neck with her hoof. "I guess I should head to bed— oh, where will I be sleeping, by the way?"

Twilight frowned thoughtfully. "Well… hm, the guest room's occupied… Maybe you could spend the night with Starlight? I know she'd be happy to share her space with you."

As would Twilight, but she was sure Sunset would appreciate having some time away from her to process through her emotions.

Twilight promptly directed Sunset to the location of Starlight's bedroom, and they said their goodnights and Sunset started on her way… but paused.

"One more question, Twilight…" Sunset began reluctantly, as she turned to glance in the alicorn's direction. "And you don't have to answer if you don't want to."

"Yes, Sunset?"

"By any chance… were any of those uh, fleeting attractions that you had...—"

Twilight smiled then, and gave a single nod. "One of them was you, Sunset." And though her feelings for Sunset had since faded away… they had been some of the strongest she'd felt.

Sunset grinned widely at that, and pumped her hoof in the air, exclaiming a quiet "Yes!" which caused Twilight to giggle. Sunset laughed too, and it felt so good to just let all those tensions melt away.

"Alright… Goodnight, Twilight."

"Sleep well, Sunset."

---

Sunset Shimmer tapped a hoof against Starlight Glimmer's bedroom door in a knock.

"Mrrrrr—" Sunset could hear Starlight's sleepy groan from inside as she stirred in bed and roused herself. "Oh! Um, come in!"

Sunset opened the door with her magic, taking a few steps inside. "Hey, Starlight. I was wondering… if it'd be alright if I sleep with you tonight. Dr. Ryder has the guest room…"

Sunset smirked with amusement. "...and I'm guessing he wants the two of us to stay as far away from him as possible."

Starlight Glimmer giggled from her bed. "Yeah, I can't blame him. But yes, you can stay with me!"

Sunset smiled gratefully, using her magic to take her backpack off and rest it on the floor. "Thanks."

Sunset took a moment to glance around the bedroom, admiring it. It was decorated with a few green, flourishing plants. Spellbooks (and books about understanding friendship) were stacked neatly in a wooden bookcase. Strewn along the lower wall were a few kites of varying sizes and shapes. Sunset Shimmer smiled to herself… Starlight's room was cute.

Starlight Glimmer slid out of bed, a little woozy from her tiredness. But she leaned in close to Sunset, excitement dancing in her dark blue eyes.

"So… how'd it go with Twilight?"

Sunset chuckled softly, rubbing her own leg with her hoof as she looked down.

"It went well, actually. Twilight and I had a really good talk. She didn't feel the same way for me, but you know… that's okay. I'm just glad to have her as my friend, and that's enough."

Starlight blinked. She felt sorry for Sunset… she knew that wasn't how she'd hoped it would go. But at the same time, she was impressed at how well Sunset was holding it together.

"Wow… you took it well."

"It still hurt a bit…" Sunset admitted reluctantly, biting her lower lip. "Rejection isn't easy. But Twilight was really nice about it, and you were right; it did feel good to get it out. And now… I can move on."

Starlight grinned a little wider. "That's great." She then turned away, and began to levitate a pillow off her bed.

"What are you doing?" Sunset questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, I thought you could take the bed, I could sleep on the floor… It's no biggie."

"Don't be ridiculous." Sunset chided with a little laugh. "There's enough room in the bed for both of us. We both deserve to be comfortable after such a long day."

Starlight thought about this for a moment, then nodded, putting her pillow back in place. "You're right. As long as you're sure you're okay and don't need your space…"

"I'm sure." Sunset hopped onto the bed. Starlight followed suit, and snuffed out the candle on the bedside table. The two of them settled in and got comfy beneath the blanket they shared.

They said their goodnights and rolled onto their sides, facing away from each other… but neither of them could fall asleep just yet. It's not that they weren't comfortable, but they each felt a subtle pull to one another, with a meaning they couldn't yet place.

For Starlight, it was the strongest. She'd shared a bed with Trixie before during sleepovers here or in Trixie's wagon, and this feeling hadn't been present then. It was like… the space between her and Sunset was… electrically charged, if she were to describe it.

She considered maybe chatting it up with Sunset for a bit until she got tired again. That should work… right? Was Sunset already asleep?

But it was Sunset that broke the silence first.

"Hey… Starlight?" Sunset whispered softly, as she turned her head up to the side, seeing Starlight curled up out the corner of her eye. "Are you awake?"

"Yep," Starlight replied aloud, in her normal speaking voice. "What's up?"

Sunset rolled over in bed to face Starlight. Feeling Sunset move around, Starlight did the same. Their eyes met.

"I told Twilight this, too… but I think I might want to start visiting Equestria more. Granted… I hope that my reunion with Celestia goes well, and with my family later on… But I've been thinking…"

Starlight listened, her lips parting slowly.

"... I've been thinking that even if it doesn't go well, I'd still want to visit more. I didn't realize… how much I missed being a pony. And now I have two friends in Equestria that I'd want to see. Twilight and… you."

The lilac unicorn smiled softly, feeling her heart grow warm.

"That makes me really happy, Sunset. I'd… I'd love to keep seeing you, after all this is over."

"I'd love to keep seeing you, too." Sunset agreed, feeling her lips perk into a smile. "And… I don't know if you enjoyed being in the human world at all, but there's a lot to see and do. Would you… want to visit me there sometime, too?"

Starlight practically glowed as she gazed across the bed at Sunset. "I totally would."

Sunset beamed, feeling the excitement inside her grow as she thought of everything she wanted to show Starlight. "We'd have so much fun! We could hang out at the mall, go get ice cream, watch movies together… and I could have my friends meet you."

Starlight felt her cheeks blush, as she imagined spending time with Sunset in all these wonderful ways… even if she had no idea what a 'movie' was.

"That would be amazing. And maybe when you're here, I could help you brush up on your magic? Magic has come a long way, and I'd love to teach you some new spells. We could practice together!"

Sunset Shimmer smiled again, and her eyes began to soften as she took in the lovely happiness in Starlight's face. "I'd like that." She replied, her voice growing quiet, relaxed.

The two unicorns held onto this moment, their eyes locked in a gaze that would be hard to look away from.

Sunset, still smiling, lifted her hoof and faced it towards Starlight, never breaking that eye contact.

Starlight blinked a few times, then understood… and reached as well to affectionately touch her hoof to Sunset's.

Sunset's heart skipped a beat… and Starlight could feel her own thumping steadily in her chest.

"I'll admit though… this is a lot better with hands." Sunset murmured sleepily with a very soft chuckle.

"Mm. I bet it is." Starlight replied with an even softer laugh.

But this was still nice, very nice.

And they didn't dare budge, didn't dare break that sweet contact… as they finally, pleasantly, drifted off to a peaceful sleep together.

Comments

[kietconga321]

Hmmm... maybe 2024? :,>