oatsea
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HAHA! This sucked so bad it was AWESOME!
I dig how cheezy and juvenile it was. So many spell errors.........but you nailed it with the cover pic...... Good quality stupidity......... loved it! 
i844.photobucket.com/albums/ab8/cuteycindyhoney/flutterdash_prepare_your_anus_by_tf.jpg
I don't mean to be rude, but how long did it take for you to write this story? Also, did you get someone to proofread this and perhaps get a second opinion on things like the technical writing or grammar?
I sense a train coming your way.
You...
Forgot to capitalize your I's
Spelling errors everywhere
Names need to be capitalized
Your clop sucks and you should feel bad. It was too quick, too mechanical.
WHOOSH!
Too much dialogue. Indents after every sentence. Forgot your periods. Fails at passionate writing. On the bright side, I've never seen a cover pic describe a story as accurately as yours.
Watch out man. The train's coming into the station...
1283235>>1283108 THE TRAIN HAS ARRIVED!!!
weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/choo-choo-motherfucker.jpg
Well this sucked so hard it was kinda funny. Its not the worst Fltuterdash story I've ever read though. That went to a troll fic...
The clop was more or less pointless and if it had been removed, the story would have made more sense.
You seemed to have something going but lost it completely by speeding through the chapter like a bullet.
Like seriously how much time went into this? it was just like... wow... um... okay... story starts and is then over...
oh well. Better luck next time. Please try to put more thoght into your stories. Flutterdash can be a lot more than this.
overall it sucked. Watch your capitalizing, be sure to tell time, use correct paragraphing, and don't rush into a situation act like its building up and then finish it off with a quick and easy ending... I do feel that if you worked a little harder it could be good
1283401
I know you're responding to people who pointed out a few flaws, but if you're gonna post a train, make sure it goes with a critique of your own.
Thank you.
~TWE Co-Founder
1283401 1283543 I second the motion.
I don't even know what to say about this one. Other then I found myself laughing almost the whole time from all the mistakes and awkward phrasing, not to mention how out of character Fluttershy was.
Well I suppose I do have one piece of advice to add. Structuring speaker tags for dialogue like.
"said the laughing Fluttershy" - "said a nervous Fluttershy" is just plain awkward as all hell!
Not to mention it sounds as if there are more than one Fluttershy out there! 
I recommend sticking to structure's like:
"said Fluttershy with a laugh." or "said Fluttershy while laughing." It reads a lot easier and doesn't sound so weird.
Oh, and another thing.
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i.imgur.com/YRelC.jpg
This. was. a. first. mkay!
1284810
that doesn't matter. 
1284810
Sorry, but I have to be harsh.
Is it really that hard to compare your writing to published books and see what differences there are?
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WHAT ON EARTH IS THIS? This sucked so bad, it was beyond sucking so bad... but the "THE END :D" made it all good. Like seriously, this could of made a good story if you went A LOT more in depth with things. Describing Fluttershy's feelings, and also Rainbow's...more about the party, and just about everything. Even the clop was bad. You could have seriously done a whole lot better, if you put more time and effort in it.
I'm surprised this got by approval, cause it's just plain terrible.
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1284810
That's no excuse for sh*tty writing.
"Oh, everybody needs to cut me some slack because I've never written anything before!"
Sorry, that doesn't work and you really should get ready for the real world because "it's my first day" doesn't cut it out there either.
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What in...
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/146/240/1310181418001.jpg
I... Um...
i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/131/962/1307580107001.png
Christ in a handbasket!
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Seriously? Okay, I'm outta here.
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ok, i just made dis for fun. jesus
HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH Firegnat, dat funny as hell.
1283044 dude, thank you, only nice comment here.
1298177
Hey no prob bro.........
I can tell a fic made just for grins and giggles when I see it. I mean for realz...we are writing stories about pastel ponies for Celestia's sake! How serious can we get? (well.... I made one that made me sorta wanna hangmy self...but it was still fun)
It was ok, but could be a little more thought out. Next time, explain it a bit more. Not just skip right to the climax, ok? It will be better trust me, I know. Anyways it was good.
yah, it was kind of escalated fast in the ending.
"MY GOD FLUTTERSHY YOUR AMAZING!" said Dash as she orgasmed
I lost it here.
This is extremely badly written, but... you've kinda got the right idea. If I use like, ten industrial lamps I can almost see some potential, way down the end of the tunnel...
EFFORT! OH GOD, PLEASE PUT IN MORE EFFORT! YOU NEED IT SO BAD!
Keep writing, and good luck.
Holy. This story..... I remember writing this.