• Published 28th Feb 2022
  • 1,534 Views, 942 Comments

They're... ON HOLIDAY? - Nameless Narrator



After reaching peace between Equestria and Hive changelings, queen Chrysalis takes two high ranks and a small retinue of drones with her on a trip to an island holiday resort.

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Day 7 - Drones? What drones?: 7/7

“Thank you for your patronage,” the griffon masseur waves at 387 as he’s wiping the oil off of everything, “Feel free to come again.”

“It’s been a pleasure,” 387 gives him a courteous bow, “I’ll see if time and the Queen allow.”

The masseuse taking care of 65536 meets up with them, carrying the drone lying limp on her back.

“You can stop being a noodle, 65536,” says 387, the corner of his mouth twitching up.

“Umm, that’s not a transformation, 387,” 65536’s foreleg twitches as it tries and fails to raise it to scratch its head, “I think my leggos want an early sleepy time.”

“Alright, I guess I’ll take it from here in that case, literally,” 387 chuckles, taking the drone onto his own back, “Thank you for being patient with it,” he nods to the masseuse.

“Thank youuuu!” moans 65536 softly, “I’m too wobbly to wave.”

“See you next time!” she walks over and pats its head.

They’re barely out of the door when 387 feels all his tension return with a vengeance. There, on a bench across the road from the massage parlor entrance, sits Blueblood wearing a more hounded expression than usual, the source of which must be 99 sitting on the other end of the bench and right now…

…throwing a frisbee to Smiley covered in white zebra stripes who tries to catch it with its mouth and fails. It bounces off of Smiley’s muzzle and drops on the flagstones where Smiley picks it up and returns it to 99.

“Don’t look at me, this was all her idea,” grumbles Blueblood.

“Now now, what did we practice?” 99 snickers, standing up.

“Why are you both here?” asks 387, “Trouble?”

“Not at all,” 99 remains smiling despite facing 387’s stern look, “Hey, 65536. How would you feel if I and the ex-prince right here joined you for your daily training?”

“What the holes are you playing at 99?!” hisses 387, leaning towards her face.

“A friend,” she boops him with her own muzzle, “You should try it too, sometimes.”

“Yaaaaaaaaay,” 65536 wobbles its legs hanging from 387’s back, “Everyone’s friends now,” it pauses while 387 back away from the infiltrator, “But I don’t think I’ll be moving any time soon.”

“Then how about you direct us?” offers 99. On the bench, Blueblood sighs and stands up, “To be exact, I meant me but since Blueblood didn’t object in time he’ll be joining us in addition to what he originally wanted from you.”

“Wanted is pulling some serious weight around here,” he says in a low, tired tone.

“That’s like what Mister Sharp did back at home sometimes!” 65536 raises its head, cheering up, “With the new Guard recruits!”

“By the way,” 99 beams, showing both fangs, “Do you have any saying from ‘Mister Sharp’ for ponies who’re really bad at something, and I mean aaaawful, but want to get better?”

“I do, actually!” 65536 nods, “Listen, maggots! Imagine you’re Princess Celestia standing in front of a continent-sized cake! Would she give up? No! She would devour the whole thing, one bite at a time! NO MATTER HOW LONG IT WOULD TAKE!”

99 jabs Blueblood’s side.

“Motivated now?”

“To take the quick way out? Sure,” Blueblood breathes out, “Just point me to the nearest cliff.”

“Imma wibble!” 65536 looks at him in a drone version of ‘threateningly’.

“For the view…”

387 looks over the absurdity unfolding in front of him one final time before shaking his head.

“You take 65536 then. I’ll see what fun I can have in this resort and then… and then… I think I'll pay Chrysalis a visit.”

***

It took 387 a forced visit to the various water slides, a shooting range -even though 387 was impressed to see the current state of griffon weaponry- and a trip to the city to attend a seasonal seafood cook-off to kill enough time for the sun to set and for the warrior to finally persuade himself that visiting Chrysalis would be an even remotely good idea.

And now, standing in front of the bungalow with yet another bottle he swiped from the still busy drones on the way here, he’s once again not sure of that.

She’s probably not even here. That hive link signature is just a decoy so that no one could track her. Holes, she’s probably somewhere else, surrounded by a harem of various species-

The door opens.

“Stop tap dancing on the damn wood and come in,” Chrysalis nods at him and walks back into the bungalow without waiting.

“99 isn’t here?”

“Last I heard from her, she was with Blueblood and 65536, trying not to die while performing something called a… bench press. Took her too damn long to realize that just being smart and tactical won’t save her ass.”

“The demotion?” asks 387, while Chrysalis opens the back door onto the veranda where there are two comfortable, weaved armchairs waiting, each on one side of a square table already holding two empty glasses and the bottle he brought in the morning. He adds his bottle to the original one and waits for Chrysalis to sit down first.

“Yes,” seeing the year on the new bottle, Chrysalis winces at the presumed price, but pours out of the more expensive one first anyway, “Sit down, or I might take you being on edge around me personally. We both know I can’t get into your head and-” she pauses as she sits down, “No, seriously, why are you so… what do you think I’ll do - suddenly start beating you with a chair or something?”

387 sighs but sits down.

“Some habits die hard. Especially ones that kept me alive for so long,” pausing to take a sip of his drink, he looks at the dark sea, “And I don’t want to get rid of something critical that I might need again.”

“Afraid I’ll go full Shroud again?”

“Yes,” he openly admits, “And if not you, then whoever comes after.”

“Who says you’ll outlive my glorious self?” Chrysalis smirks.

“The twelve Queens who came before you,” 387 smiles a smile bereft of any joy.

“I must give you that one,” Chrysalis looks into the darkness ahead lit only by the lamps on the roof of the veranda, “Tell me, what would make your life easier?”

“We can go through the list back in the hive. I’m sure there will be some small adjustments to make after drones tell everyone about what they saw in this place.”

“No, I meant you. Your life. I already don’t send you on missions, you don’t get guard duties in the upper tunnels, and your share of hive’s love is pretty much second only to myself. That clearly isn’t enough. Don’t take this as me trying to prove something to you, take it as… me recognizing that you’re more useful to me alive and, more importantly, thriving.”

“I don’t think you understand, Chrysalis-”

“That’s why I’m asking, dipshit. Answer directly,” a hint of annoyance creeps into the Queen’s tone, which she hides by taking another sip.

“Directly? Alright then,” 387 finishes his own glass and gives Chrysalis a brief, surprised look when she pours another for him and refills her own, “Four years is far too little time for me to evaluate who you are trying to be after seven hundred of who you were and another eight hundred of who the combined mental mass of your teachers were,” he says, expecting a biting remark at least.

However, Chrysalis remains silent for quite some time before asking quietly and slowly:

“So, what is the hive going to be then? Me representing the hive to the outside, barely stopping warriors and infiltrators from fighting for power while protecting the drones, and doing all that with you staring daggers at me from the back, looking for a weak moment to organize a rebellion the second I can’t juggle all that while smiling and speaking softly?”

“I am not trying to organize a rebellion.”

“Right now? Sure. You’re no threat and neither are the drones. But give it ten years, let’s say, where drones learn strategy, tactics, and combat digging. At first under the guise of protecting themselves from monsters, and next when they decide that the stories the old ones tell them can’t be allowed to happen again. Now they’re learning that their resin can be used to extinguish fires. How long, in case of bad times and me having to lower love rations, before a patrol steps on a goo mine?” this silence lasts even longer than before until Chrysalis adds, “Thinking about it, aren’t you?”

“Yes, and I’m having trouble not laughing,” 387 sighs, “Chrysalis, you’ve spent too much time surrounded only by infiltrators and warriors too high on the totem pole that their thinking is indistinguishable from infiltrators. Too much time with other Queens’ voices screaming in your head. Was it too long to ever recover from it? Maybe. Hopefully not,” he pulls his armchair closer to the railing and puts his head on it, fighting every instinct telling him he’s putting his head under a guillotine, “You asked me what would make my life easier. Do me a favor then, will you? It will make your life much easier too.”

“Hmm?”

“Spend some time in the tunnels, regularly. Transform into a fresh drone or something-”

“I can’t dig, moron. At least not without wasting an exorbitant amount of love.”

“They don’t just dig. Join a drone or two, carry some eggs, play a game with them, trade a ‘particularly bendy stick’ for a chunk of iron ore, and trade that for an uncut diamond afterwards,” 387 looks at her with a bitter smirk, “You’ll quickly learn that your worries regarding them are just in your head. Mine regarding you aren’t.”

“Hmph!” Chrysalis huffs but doesn’t say anything. She just eases into the armchair, puts her hind legs on the railing, and starts looking directly up at the starry sky.

387 decides to change a topic as it doesn’t seem like Chrysalis is about to continue in this one.

“Care to tell me more about 99’s demotion?”

“Mission failure. She was supposed to develop both her mental and physical capabilities, and she entirely failed in the latter despite us being halfway through our little… vacation.”

“Hmm…” 387 frowns, “So because she didn’t succeed in-”

“Because she didn’t try,” Chrysalis cuts him off.

“Oh.”

“She has responsibilities critical to the hive, and one of those is attempting growth. This is not just a fun trip. Drones are supposed to learn, and so is she. I was really hoping you’d give it a shot as well, but at this point I’m feeling a bit silly. You know, old dogs and new tricks.”

387 decidedly ignores the jab at him.

“How could a rank 93- well, rank 99 infiltrator even grow here? What challenge could this place even pose?”

“So you haven’t figured her out?” Chrysalis smiles, “I guess I’ll keep that one to myself then. It’s more fun that way.”

“See? This is why-”

“You can’t trust me?” Chrysalis stands up, walks over to 387, grows a set of claws on her foreleg with which she grabs his chin, makes him look at her, and scowls, “387, I will not be notifying you whenever I wipe my ass. Is that clear? If that is your bar for trusting me then say so and we’re done.”

The warrior doesn’t back down, though.

“If you want her to grow her skills enough to easily mind control griffon or pony royalty, then we are done!” he hisses, “And the next thing on my list will be setting up yet another way to get willing changelings into safety before we’re at another pointless war. Last one left less than a thousandth of us alive.”

Chrysalis’ grip tightens as she takes a deep breath, but she releases him while slowly breathing out and returning into her armchair.

“I guess I’m not the only one whose mind has been twisted beyond repair by the old Queens, am I?” she says bitterly, “They did a number on you even without direct influence.”

387 stares at her, realizing that she’s saying a very similar version of what his empathic memory of Wistful told him earlier today.

“Then tell me, Chrysalis. If we assume we learned from everything that happened, if the only important thing isn’t what dug the hole in which we find ourselves in, and if we somehow pretend we have a chance for a fresh start… what do we do now?”

She smiles and for a reason 387 doesn’t understand his empathic senses catch a wave of deep sadness from her despite her hive link remaining decidedly stoic.

“I guess we’ll heed the wise words of Sharp Biscuit and start eating that continent-sized cake.”

It takes 387 a second before he bursts out laughing.

“You heard that?”

“I felt 99’s reaction so I tapped into her to check what’s going on.”

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!*

They both look through the glass door of the veranda and through the living room and see golden shimmer coming through the crack under the door and through the bead curtains of the windows.

“I’ll go check it out,” says the warrior. Something about the forceful knock, however, makes Chrysalis follow him.

The door opens, revealing Glorious Quest accompanied by three security members, numerous armed griffon resort guards, and finally Sun Hammer, Bright Star, and Ten, all three paladins in full gear. An official-looking griffon steps through the wall of armed creatures, announcing out loud:

“Queen Chrysalis, you and your delegation stand accused of attempted assassination of countless members of Equestrian and Imperial nobility.”

Chrysalis just rolls her eyes.

“What, again?”

Author's Note:

I've been mega sicks since Saturday and this is my last buffer chapter, so no promises on the next one coming on schedule.

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