Day 8 - Smiley's hole: 1/7
*Boing!* *Boing!* *Boing!* *Boing!*
Smiley has discovered the trampoline.
*Boing!* *Boing!* *Boing!* *Boing!*
“Twenty-seven,” counts 65536, “Come oooon, I know you can do thirty. If you do, I’ll give you a super hug,” it sweetens the deal.
The drone is lying prone on a padded bench inside a gym that’s empty this late with the exception of it, Blueblood, and 99. The prince is lying on the floor in a pool of his sweat while 99, roughly a pony length away from him, is currently trying to push herself up on legs wobbling with exhaustion and failing.
It would be so easy if she was allowed love enhancements, but both she and 65536 know that would entirely defeat the point of the exercise.
“I… can’t…!” she hisses through gritted teeth and falls to the floor as her legs finally buckle under her, “Crap.”
“Normal hug only it is, then!” 65536 slides from the bench and limps over to her, lowering itself down next to her and briefly nuzzling her neck, “You too, BB.”
“Hmpmhh…” moans the barely conscious white unicorn pile when two small legs wrap around its neck.
*Boing!* *Boing!* *Boing!* *CRASH!*
The loud crack of chitin against the stone floor makes the two look up, only to see a black blur accompanied by rapid clip clop of hooves before the sudden hug pile gains a third member.
Seeing Smiley land on Blueblood and 65536, 99 breathes out a sigh of relief. In her current state, she’s not sure if she could withstand the momentum without something getting crushed.
A moment later, Smiley is pushed off by 65536 standing up and trotting off to a door in the back of the gym.
“Guys, I’ll grab the mop and you try to shuffle over to the showers. I’ll be there soon. Smiley, you’ll help me,” the drone calls out, making Smiley stand up too, grab its writing slate from the bench, and trot over. 65536 hangs a bucket on the top of Smiley’s head, grabs the mop, and the two return to the area of their final exercise.
As 65536 gets to mopping the floor, Smiley watches it for a while before writing a message on the slate and poking 65536 with it.
“Up arrow, down arrow, repeated three times, 99, BB, question mark,” 65536 mutters to itself as it’s reading, “Why did I have them do the pushups- uhh, the up-downs?” it looks at Smiley who smiles back and nods, “Because they’re one of the healthiest exercises ever. They make you stronger all over, they warm you up, they make you breathe properly, and after the first few neither of them had anything else on their mind than going up and down without passing out. They’re overall great.”
Smiley scratches its head and then experimentally does a few pushups.
“Yup, you should regularly do some too,” 65536 finishes the quick mopping, “Being stronger will make you use up less love when running from the baddies back home. But you did a good job on the trampoline too. It helps to make your hoofsies stable when you need to jump or run.”
Smiley processes the message with a happy smile as they join Blueblood and 99 sitting in the same shower, the prince staring at her with a disbelieving expression and the infiltrator washing her carapace, seemingly unbothered. Seeing that, Smiley immediately rushes into the stall too.
“Neat, a sitting hug pile!” 65536 heads in too.
“What is this and why is it happening?!” croaks Blueblood, squeezing himself into the corner to avoid any potentially misconstrueable contact.
“Hmm?” 99 turns her head, “Anything wrong?”
“Why are we all in one stall? This is one of the richest resorts in both Equestria and the Empire, so why are we sharing one shower?”
The changeling exchange looks.
“Avoiding wasting resources is ingrained pretty deep in us,” replies 99 and 65536 nods. Smiley blows some bubbles out of its soapy leg hole, “And I’m not particularly versed in pony customs.”
“Quick lesson - showering together is intimate as hay and a massive taboo otherwise!” explains Blueblood quickly, “How does a member of a species whose job is infiltrating our society or the present GUARD not know that?”
“Umm, Nightguards normally shower together,” 65536 tilts its head, “And Luna likes to take a bath with me.”
“You’re like her foal. That doesn’t count,” Blueblood rolls his eyes.
“Oh, are you worried this might turn into a sexual encounter?” asks 99.
“No, I don’t have any money or status for that anymore,” replies Blueblood, “I’m worried someone might see me showering with two changeling equivalents of foals and a mare I previously had no contact with. My aunt doesn’t need to deal with accusations of pedophilia on top of everything else, and at this point no one will believe they’re not true no matter what any of us says.”
“Alright, let’s split it up,” 99 stands up and grabs Smiley.
Blueblood gives her a surprised look.
“What?” she notices.
“Just like that?”
“You’re making a lot of sense, and you have knowledge that I don’t,” 99 shrugs, “It’s a perfectly viable request in my mind.”
“See?” 65536 grins at Blueblood, “You can do good work if you try.”
“Hrmph…” the ex-prince resumes soaping himself, “I just wanted some space.”
“Suuuuure,” 65536’s grin grows even wider before it trots off to a free stall.
“99, get the holes over here right now! Grab 65536 too.”
Chrysalis’ sudden mental call is so strong that even 65536 overhears it. It and 99 shoot out of their respective stalls, exchanging puzzled looks.
“We gotta go! BB, please clean up after us!” 65536 recovers first, foam and water still streaming from it as it puts on its saddlebag.
“What’s going on?” asks Blueblood, visibly confused but the sudden rush without any trigger he can see.
“Trouble!” 99 quickly limps after the guard drone, “Take care of Smiley! Smiley, stay with Blueblood!”
With a slam of a door they’re both gone.
Blueblood leaves his stall and finds…
…Smiley cowering in the corner of its own, curled up into a ball and hiding its muzzle in its hooves.
“What the hay spooked all of them so much?” after watching Smiley for several more seconds, he mutters to himself, “Nevermind that, private BB, you’re not paid to think. Things go wrong when you think. You have your orders.”
***
Rushing as quickly as their exhausted and battered bodies allow them, 99 and 65536 reach the water bungalows and spot the armed squad of griffon resort guards, the trio of paladins, Quest Security members, all surrounding Chrysalis and 387.
“What’s going on here?” asks 65536, frowning.
A trio of griffons fan out in front of it and point their spears at the drone.
“I would advise you to very carefully rethink what you just did,” says Sun Hammer, loud just enough for everyone to hear.
“It’s another one of them, we can’t-” the apparent griffon leader gets cut off almost immediately by the Paladin Acting Grandmaster.
“You have just pointed your weapons at a member of the Equestrian Nightguard. According to the United Establishments treaty C298, article 6, civil service ranks of both countries apply on this island during problem resolutions while nobility ranks don’t.”
“So?” the griffon puffs out his chest.
“That means that unless the Acting Grandmaster or Bright Star want to take over, 65536 outranks everyone here, dipshits,” growls Ten, nodding to 65536 staring down the trio of griffons, “So shove those spears up your asses.”
“I will not listen to a bug, especially in a situation like this!” snarls the griffon back at him.
“I’m afraid that the paladin assessment is correct,” Glorious Quest chimes in, “No matter-”
“Or to a glorified pavement pounder!” the griffon cuts him off.
“Do you mind at least telling us what’s going on?” peeps 65536, attempting to walk past the griffons towards the main group and stopping only when the three spears touch its chest.
The sun suddenly darkens as if heralding an incoming eclipse. Nearly everyone involved looks up and spots nothing, even though light seems to be seeping out of the world, until they somehow sense a gentle flow of reality leading towards Sun Hammer’s horn which is now outlined with an eclipse-like black, yellow-rimmed light.
In the next instant, the three armed griffons hiss in pain and back off as their spears evaporate into clouds of steam and ash in their grasp.
Everything returns to normal with everyone now staring at Sun Hammer.
“Let’s start again and stick to the law, shall we?” she rumbles, staring eye to eye at the leading griffon, “The Nightguard asked what’s going on, I shall answer, and you shall be quiet.”
The griffon finally cracks under her glare, gulps, and nods.
“Excellent,” Sun Hammer turns towards 65536, “We have spent the entire day performing magical examinations of the sunken cruise ship and discovered that it is unlikely to have been an accident. The edges of the breach were bent outwards, hinting that the breaking force came from the inside.”
“Hey, that’s what 10013 said!” 65536 blinks, “It said that the lightning strike came too late and that it looked like something exploded from the inside,” when everyone looks at it, it adds, “10013 was resting high up on the observation platform. We don’t really mind rain like you ponies do. After we landed on the beach, it asked me how lightning and thunder worked because what the official story said didn’t seem to match up.”
Sun Hammer nods, looking sideways at Quest who shrugs.
“I went with my available information at the time and, even if I suspected sabotage, I wouldn’t have publicly said it to worry the guests.”
“Understandable,” Sun Hammer nods and continues, “So, we found the wreck surprisingly close to the island and spent the day using whatever detection magic we could to examine it. Now for the part that made our griffon companion here so… reckless - the breach connected several areas heavily connected to the hive delegation. On the nobility deck it was the hive delegation’s hoofmaiden cabin hosting 387 and 93-”
“99 now, sudden demotion, go on,” interrupts 99 briefly. Sun Hammer continues as if nothing happened.
“-or 99. On the servant deck, the crack went through a storage room in which we detected a faint changeling presence-”
“Let me stop you right there,” 387 shakes his head, “I spent the entirety of my time on the ship scouting out the place in case of trouble, because I know how everyone sees us changelings. On top of that, the drones were running around all over the place. If your proof is ‘faint changeling presence at random places’ you won’t get anywhere.”
Sun Hammer just nods and continues.
“On the service deck, the crack coincided with a dumbwaiter leading from a kitchen to the top deck where two of your drones were confirmed to be working,” she pauses, “Nothing this time?”
“Those were 20100 and 36658,” says 65536, “As far as I know, the Queen gave them an option to gain points by being helpful to improve changeling image which they could use to redeem favors from high ranks.”
“Favors such as a love refill or a little bit of time off, or maybe money to buy a treat,” explains 387.
Heh, ‘them’. It doesn’t want to be associated with the hive to avoid not being seen as an impartial judge. After our sparring today, I really shouldn’t be surprised by 65536’s intelligence anymore.
“I see,” Sun Hammer glances at Chrysalis who looks more tired than anything else, “I’m coming to the main problem, however, which is the presence of three changelings in the maintenance tunnels, two of those, as you can probably guess by now, near the bottom of the breach.”
“I received an incident report regarding a changeling by the name ‘Smiley’ being stuck behind a maintenance door and another changeling 10013 seeking out a security guard to let them out,” says Glorious Quest, “According to the explanations the changelings gave, the door was open when said Smiley wandered inside. That should explain one presence, and I can attest that we resolved said security incident and the responsible security member was found. I know nothing about the detected presence of another two changelings.”
“One of those must have been me,” admits 387, immediately facing the glares of everyone. Aside from the griffons and Chrysalis, everyone seems genuinely surprised, either by him being there or by him admitting it like this.
“Must have?” asks Sun Hammer.
“I think I was following someone, but the last thing I remember is going down the stairs near my cabin, and next I woke up stuffed behind some pipes in the maintenance tunnels. I heard someone coming, so I transformed and escaped through an air vent. I can’t recall anything else and, believe me, I tried. I have no idea who would be able to do something like that to me,” 387 frowns.
“And we are supposed to believe that?!” huffs the griffon leader.
“Whether you believe it or not, we have a statement from those presumably involved. Our job, for the foreseeable future, will be questioning everyone,” Sun Hammer shrugs, “Legally, the one leading this effort should be 65536-”
“Ask a criminal to investigate themselves-” grumbles the griffon.
“-but I would ask for permission to be in charge.”
“Yes, sure-” 65536 nods with visible relief, “Umm, granted, Acting Grandmaster.”
“How can we know that you’re not compromised because of it?!” the griffon points at Ten.
“Ten has both the alibi as well as the reputation. If you wish to accuse a paladin, I’d like to refer you to article 13 of-”
“You know A PALADIN is not what I meant!” hisses the griffon, “It’s a bug. Their Queen could be mind controlling him as we speak.”
“Umm, I don’t think so,” peeps 65536 before anyone else says anything, “I have a protective spell cast on me by Princess Luna which the Queen tried to get through on the ship and it didn’t go well for her. I have no doubt Ten’s situation is similar,” 65536 looks at Chrysalis, and she senses a faint mental message.
“Could you please confirm that, Your Majesty? I know it’ll make you seem weaker but it would really help everyone right now… I think.”
“Hmph,” Chrysalis scowls, “Yes, I almost drowned because I was incapacitated due to the mentioned… attempt, and no damn security guard even tried to get into my cabin. Besides, you creatures can't find the ones I actually do, and keep accusing me of the ones I don't. Do I need to be sloppier to get proper recognition?”
387 facehoofs.
“I confirm that Ten is under magical protection specifically tailored against changeling mental interference,” says Sun Hammer in an attempt to avoid Quest and Chrysalis derailing the conversation, “We will go through the facts during our investigation. For now, however, we should make sure there’s no future tampering with witnesses.”
“There is a small but secure prison in the resort. There occasionally is someone stupid enough to attempt an assassination,” the griffon smirks at Chrysalis, “It would be bit of a squeeze, but I think we can shove all the changelings in there.”
“No,” Chrysalis immediately replies in a tone which sends chills down everyone’s spine. Even Sun Hammer narrows her eyes at her.
“Chrysalis, please, don’t make this about your ego now-”
“Shut up, 387. You’re getting on my nerves.”
Chrysalis returns Sun Hammer’s glare, takes a long breath, and growls:
“Put me wherever you want but don’t touch my drones.”
387’s jaw drops.
99’s blinks repeatedly.
Ten’s looks at Chrysalis with open suspicion.
65536 beams from ear to ear.
“Don’t you dare set conditions-” the griffon snarls at her.
“Changelings who are not associated with the hive,” Sun Hammer raises her voice, “How do you rate the potential threat here?”
“Umm, do I count?” asks 65536.
“Yes,” she nods, “but let Ten start, please.”
65536 looks at the changeling paladin-in-training who ignores it.
“I know better than most that Chrysalis is a dangerous manipulator who cares little for anyone other than herself. I only have two things in regard to everyone’s safety.. Number one - if you decide to put Chrysalis under lock and key, you need to lock 387 and 99 as well. If they are out and about then there’s no difference between Chrysalis stuck in a block of concrete or without any chains at all. Mind control is a bitch,” he pauses briefly, “And number two, there is no reason to lock up the drones. They have no power, nor the ability to effectively fulfill anything complex Chrysalis might need.”
“Not like she can just mind control them too and have them shapeshift into-”
“No, she can’t. That is why I specified my first point, you speciesist birdbrain,” Ten slowly fries the griffon leader with a ‘look’, “Drones are drones. Even if she took control of one, she can’t make it do anything beyond the capacity of their body. Transform into something big? They’d burn out and collapse. Try to use infiltrator skills? Burn out and collapse. Attack someone? They would still be fighting off a drone without that much love. An untrained civilian can defend themselves long enough for any help to come. If she wants the drones to avoid all this mess and simply enjoy a resort stay full of fun, I see no reason to deny her other than sadism.”
“65536?” Sun Hammer asks over the visibly seething griffon.
“Ten said everything that needed saying,” 65536 shrugs, “Although I would prefer not sticking Queen Chrysalis into prison either. Miss Sun Hammer, do you have some of those anti-shapeshifting supposit- suppressors they use in Canterlot? That way, all three high ranks could move around and our griffon friends could stop worrying.”
“Yes, we brought several,” Sun Hammer’s horn flashes, and three brass rings materialize in front of her, “For contingencies. With these, we will be able to track you, you won’t be able to shapeshift, and if you move too far from the location I set up they will paralyze you. Just your motor function, nothing lethal.”
“Give it here,” 99 steps up first, raising a hoof.
“I guess we’re doing this again,” 387 rolls his eyes, doing the same.
“If I accidentally swim too far into the sea, at least send some steamy lifeguard to come get me,” Chrysalis does the same.
Moments later, they’re outfitted with a ring locked in a leg hole each. Afterwards, Sun Hammer informs them:
“I will find a location where I can affix the spell so that you can move around the entirety of the resort. The rest of the island will be off limits, however. That way, the griffons should be at ease regarding the risk to the island population and you won’t be too inconvenienced in case all this suspicion proves to be unwarranted.”
“Meh, I’ve been in the city once already and I don’t need to see some tribal jungle hicks in person,” Chrysalis says in a distinctly unimpressed tone, “But if I even hear about a griffon giving one of my drones a skewed look I will find a way to make them pay and no chain will hold me. 65536, keep these overgrown chickens away from them, will you?”
“I believe the griffons got the message, but I’ll tell the others to inform me or anyone else if there’s trouble.”
To everyone’s surprise, one more time this evening, Ten speaks up:
“Call me if you need to, but only if there is literally no one else to ask. Got it? 1313 comes before me, any friend you may have made so far comes before me. I’m your last resort.”
“I’ll tell the others,” 65536 nods.
“Then I believe we’re done here,” Sun Hammer ends the conversation with a look at the griffon leader who huffs but salutes. To her, of course, not to 65536 or Ten, “We’ll begin conducting interrogations tomorrow. Goodnight, everyone, and I regret it had to come to this.”
“Thank you for your cooperation,” Glorious Quest and his ponies leave.
“Thank you, Miss Sunny,” 65536 smiles at her, “Law or not, this wouldn’t have worked without you here.”
“Speak softly and carry a big stick,” she bows to 65536, “Ten, Bright Star, come with me to help me set up the fixation spell.”
“Goodnight, Your Majesty, everyone,” 65536 sighs, “Sorry things are suddenly kinda bad.”
99 and 387 look at Chrysalis.
“Goodnight, 65536,” she says, “99, why don’t you come sit down with 387 and me? We have one unopened bottle left and apparently a lot to talk about.”
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I've never done well with Detective shows so I'll just remain entertained and wait for the eventual who-dunnit explanation at the end...
My brain is fried trying to remember Ten
*Le gasp*
The story appears to be moving.
(Don't worry, I like the parts where buggos do buggo things too)
Good chapter! Hope you had a good Christmas
Trouble I have is being short sighted, getting something described in big cheerful letters means I couldnt actually read the words at first.
Im used to Star Hammers. not Sun Hammer.
Ohhh dear. The Big Cake is so cheesed off, she brought the Fruitcake.
At least if they need a tunnel clean through the island, should be a lot easier to ask nicely now?
I thought Smiley was trying to use a cheat code for a minute there.
Honestly, that might actually be good for him--Blueblood really has been overthinking things too much as of late. Not without darn good reason, of course, but there are times when it's just better to stop thinking about it and just...do instead. So it might be a good thing he's opting to do exactly that here, even if briefly.
Dude...pretty sure you're not the one who gets the say in this at this point.
Absolute last resort. Like, there's-literally-nobody-else-I-can-ask last resort.
They're going to have to keep an eye out for that griffon...clearly, he's got an axe to grind. But, eh, join the club, dude.
11461058
If anyone could somehow find a cheat code to life itself, it'd be Smiley. And per drone tradition, it'd probably do it entirely by accident.
It's not like many of the rest of us got much done, either, what with all the blizzards and ridiculously low temperatures.
11460760
Heh heh heh. I have a plan and that might throw a wrench into that idea.
11460767
From the Lovebugs series. Wants to bang nobility, loves Celestia, very healthy obsession with butts.
11460770
I thought it would be time to prod the gooey mess on the floor with a stick and it jiggled in a random direction.
11460786
Happy Hard Swarming!
11460869
I'm turning my brain off and just wishing you a happy new year!
11461058
If it did that next to a wall, it would break out of the bounds of the level and reset the AI of the griffons into a "Stop right there, criminal scum!" loop.
11461432
True, but that's the perfect opportunity to read. The words don't put themselves on paper on their own, sadly.
11461408
- I'm basically speedrunning the ten years long therapy session that's Imalanced and showing it into Blueblood in the form of a suppository.
- Catbird's gonna catbird.
- I mean, it's not as if Ten has anything against the drones per se, just Bugbutt and her presumed lapdogs. This is still before Boss and Chrysalis met at the end of Halls.
- Drones cheat only by accident. Up up left down light poke jump and suddenly Smiley gains no clip.
Untill you hurt yourself doing them wrong, sure