• Published 28th Feb 2022
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They're... ON HOLIDAY? - Nameless Narrator



After reaching peace between Equestria and Hive changelings, queen Chrysalis takes two high ranks and a small retinue of drones with her on a trip to an island holiday resort.

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Day 10 - Just another busy day: 3/?

99380 makes it into the sports area that’s empty like the last time it explored this place. It still gives a suspicious glance to the high nets separating the various courts just in case the leggy spinners in these parts are much better at playing the long game compared to the ones at home. No amount of paranoid examination yields results yet again, though, and 99380 has to admit that, just like last time, these nets are not even partially gribbler-made.

Unless…!

Nope, still nothing.

99380 shakes its head and sits down in the corner of the tennis area where it played with the griffon lady several days ago. For some reason it feels a lot longer.

So, what did 10101 say? Close your eyes, breathe slowly, try to not think of anything.

That should be easy…

Totally not thinking about thinking…

I wonder how the guys are doi-

“Gasp! It’s not easy!” 99380’s eyes shoot open, “Hmmm, what would High Score do? Try again? Try again!”

Forcing itself to stop pouting and to close its eyes again, 99380 gives meditation another shot.

Humm hum hmmm!

Critters go tweet tweet bzz-

“Why is everything so loud?” it looks up into the forest canopies surrounding the sports area, “Okay, maybe if I turn my ears off.”

One brief transformation later, now deaf 99380 finally closes its eyes and just focuses on taking in lungfuls of fresh air. Slowly, the dull, throbbing pain in its head weakens to a point where it’s only a constant reminder, a minor nuisance compared to a serious problem distracting it from everything else.

Whether it’s because of an attempt number three or because of the complete silence, it works. Well, it works until 99380 feels something touch its shoulder.

Completely by reflex and before 99380 even knows what’s up, the drone’s legs tense up, kicking it into the air. Wings activate next, making it fly upwards and back. Only after that its eyes open. Eyes aren’t important in immediate danger, fleeing is, as every drone knows! Finally, a transformation returns function to its ears, only to hear itself let out a surprised-

“AAH?!”

-as its back hits the court net, its wings get caught in the webbing’s holes and, when it stops flapping, 99380 falls down and remains hanging by its hind legs.

“Geez,” a familiar, friendly, and amused female voice is followed by a quick flap of wings and 99380 finds itself gently pulled out by a set of talons which, when the situation calms down, prove to belong to the griffon sports lady from before, “I’ve never surprised anyone so hard their head burst into flames. Are you okay?” she asks.

“Hi, Miss! Sorry for spooking you, Miss,” 99380 meekly smiles at her upside down, “I was trying to meditate but everything was so loud and distracting that I turned my ears off and… it was you who poked me, right?” it looks around.

“Yes, it was. I called out at first and came over when you didn’t react. Now I know why,” when 99380 fails to free its hind legs by ineffective flailing, she adds: “Let me help. I’ll support you from below and you just move your legs forward. You’re stuck on some hooked piece of your carapace.”

99380, like a good drone, does what it’s told, propping its forelegs against the griffon chick’s back as she stands underneath, and carefully unhooks itself from the net.

“Whaah-!”

*Slam!*

Drones aren’t made for balancing on someone’s back with only their forelegs, and 99380 just unceremoniously keels over and splats on the ground. Thankfully, the current ‘playground’ is a tennis court so its impact only raises a small cloud of orange dust.

“Are you okay?” the griffoness dusts herself off and rushes to help.

“All good,” 99380 pushes itself up, “Are you here to play games again? We made up a table game with small models and dice, but it’s not about jumping and running like your bouncy ball ones.”

She nods to a white bag at the entrance to the court from which protrudes a handle of a tennis racket.

“I was going to play some tennis against a wall, but since there’s two of us now we can play volleyball.”

“Volley… that’s the one about bouncing over the net, isn’t it?” 99380 looks around for the right court and points to one nearby, “We played it there!”

“Mhm,” she nods, heading off to her bag, “So, are you up for a few rounds or do you want to get back to meditating? I didn’t know you changelings did it too.”

“A friend recommended it to me because I did too much thinking and learning yesterday and my thinky ball hurt a lot when I woke up. I think I was doing it wrong, though,” 99380 follows her.

“Hah! I know the feeling,” the griffoness pats 99380 with her wing, “I felt exactly the same when I was cramming for my finals at the university. What a horrible week that was, but I found out that physical activity helped a lot.”

“Really?” asks 99380 as they leave the tennis court, “Thinking hurts and not thinking is surprisingly hard, so if I just bonk the ball I’ll feel better?”

She chuckles.

“Only one way to find out.”

***

“How does one minimize a weakness?” 10013 mumbles to itself, now sitting on the roof of a building on the northern edge of the resort with a clear view of the whole area, “Okay, find a drone weakness first,” it scratches its head, “Too much liking of noms? Too easily distracted by shinies? Panicking quickly? Hmmm, the first two aren’t that much trouble back home, and the last one… maybe some fleeing practice would help? 65536 said it keeps training with its slashy even though it almost never uses it for real. Hah!” it’s face brightens up, “I think I’ve got it!”

“Stop right there, criminal scum!” a rough voice comes from behind, accompanied by a buffet of wings.

“I’m totally stopped, and I don’t think I’m a criminal,” replies 10013, not moving, “I think I could use a bit of a wash, thanks!”

“This is a security vantage point. Leave immediately!”

“Okay!” 10013 takes it as a permission to look around and sees one of the resort griffon guards watching it with narrowed eyes, “Have a nice day!” it waves and flies off in a straight line towards the secluded section of the beach where it did yoghurt yesterday.

I hope he doesn’t want anything else. I don’t have time to spend in the GIL. Wait, would getting out of GIL count as shoring up a weakness? Maybe, but I doubt the high ranks would be happy with us messing around with the shouty griffons.

Thankfully, the griffon doesn’t call out again and 10013 lands on the beach shortly after.

“So… swimming,” it looks at the calm sea, “We know the right transformation now, and that should help us explore caverns we had to avoid so far. Holes, we can even try out 10101’s ideas and drain them,” a realization washes over 10013, one so powerful it can just stand there with a slowly dropping jaw, “We can… change things.”

Moments pass.

“Alright, 10013, breathe!” the drone mumbles to itself, “You’re thinking too big right now, just don’t forget all the great ideas before you get back home. What can I make better right now? Uhh, why was I here?” it stares blankly at the sea for a moment, “Riiight, swimming! So, step one - figure out what the core of the problem is.”

10013 marches off into the sea until the water reaches up to its chin.

“So, why exactly doesn’t swimming work for us if everyone else thinks it’s easy? I’ve seen others do it enough around here to know how it’s supposed to be done,” 10013 takes a deep breath and kicks itself ahead while paddling with its forelegs.

It immediately sinks like a rock. Sea water swirls around its head, but 10013 remains in control enough to avoid breathing in immediately. However, panic still sets in quickly and the drone’s sloppy but admittedly workable swimming form breaks as it starts flailing and kicking. Its hooves hit the sandy floor and 10013 pushes itself up.

The water is still only neck-deep.

10013 shakes its head while gasping for breath.

“Bleh! That’s not even just salty water, that’s weird bitter salty water,” it returns closer to the beach so that it can sit down and think, “The air balloon transformation would work just fine, but what if we don’t have the love to transform? It’s not that bad back home anymore but you can always get in trouble. We’re heavy and leg holes are the problem so… how to get rid of the holes without whooshing?”

10013 facehoofs.

“The answer is always the same, isn’t it? Goop! There’s always goop, even though it won’t last long without love,” it raises its foreleg, concentrates, and its leg holes slowly fill up with goop secreting from the edge of each hole and hardening despite the sea water, “Take two, breathe in, go!”

And that does it. Granted, swimming is still difficult due to drone weight but the density of seawater allows 10013 to finally swim like a pony, albeit not for too long. With that discovery, 10013 can’t stop itself from paddling around for around ten more minutes before it returns to the beach, water draining from under its carapace.

While a discovery like this is bound to be helpful even at home, it still doesn’t feel big enough to present in order to gain points.

I guess I’ll have to work on multiple smaller discoveries like this.

As 10013 slowly dries up as it’s strolling along the beach, a growing feeling of something being very wrong begins gnawing at it. It does take several moments to figure out the exact details and when 10013 does, it shudders.

“Itchy itchy itchy!”

Something presumably related to the sea water is stuck under its carapace and it starts to grind and itch with each step.

“Oh goop,” 10013 puts two and two together, “Now I understand why Miss Clara and Miss Cadance took a shower after swimming in the sea. But why is this the first time- ohhhhh,” 10013 experimentally buzzes its wings as hard as it can, scattering salt crystals around itself, “It’s because of Mister Shiny’s carapace design! Water gets under it much easier. Is that something I could fix or improve?”

Thankfully, while 10013 muttering to itself and occasionally stopping to examine the joints on its foreleg does draw some looks from the morning guests, no one bothers it on its trip back to the suite where it finally enters the bathroom which, so far, only served for a random drone to occasionally sleep in the tub. This time, the target is the shower stall in the corner.

“This looks like the showers on the ship - red knob, blue knob,” it tests the stream of water from the nozzle activated by twisting either one, “Warm, cold. Easy. Now… how do I clean under my carapace?”

One flash of green fire follows, and an extremely uncertain 10013 raises its entirely chitin-less foreleg and lets the water wash over it.

“This feels weeeeeeeird.”

Even more experimentation later, entirely ‘naked’, at least from the neck down, 10013 raises itself into a standing position for a few moments and quickly realizes that standing up without the support of a carapace is akin to some of the more problematic yoghurt exercises, so it sits down again and just lets the water do its job as it slips into the hive mind.

“Voice?” it speaks out to no one.

“Yes?”

“Do you know how to work with the hive mind?”

“Likely not in the way you’d like me to, but tell me what you need.”

“Well, Mister Shiny helped make us new carapaces so that we can move better, but it looks like there’s too much open space in places and I’m worried some nasties could creep under it. Like now. I’m all salty. I mean, that’s not a nasty creeping under it, that’s just water-”

“I understand,” the voice interrupts it, “It shouldn’t be difficult. Imagine you’re talking to a drone like you do when you gather here as a group. You’re automatically projecting images whenever you do so, just tap into it.”

After some focus, the blackness of the hive mind ‘waiting room’ reveals a still, three-dimensional image of 36658.

“Whoah, I didn’t know I could do that,” 10013 blinks in surprise.

“You are a changeling, even with your stunted instincts, you just need a little help. The hive mind is there to support you in many more ways than simple communication.”

“Okay. So, I need to change the carapace around the knee- wow!” 10013 points at the image of 36658 and its carapace grows, following the motion of 10013’s hoof, ”That’s so neat!”

“Don’t lose focus, you’re the one doing this,” the voice warns the drone.

“Right, righty right!” 10013 starts feeling pressure behind its forehead, but it sure as holes doesn’t stop it from carapace design improvements. It loses itself in its work, knowing well that it has enough time until the shower washes away the sand and salt from its sea experiment.

***

No sooner than 10013 senses the familiar hive link of 20100, it hears the opening of the suite door followed by the grinding of something on the floor and a series of grunts of effort accompanying it. Its focus returns back to the real world and, while the improved carapace design isn’t finished, this could be a good time to get some feedback because some of 10013’s design changes are subtle and will require testing.

10013 immediately rushes out to greet 20100, water still streaming from it. It would be difficult to explain to an outsider the exact depth of the relief the drone leader instinctively feels, suffice to say that if a drone didn’t return to the safe tunnels after worky time, it was unlikely they’d ever see it again. The fact that they’re in a much safer place now means nothing to 10013’s unconscious which makes the drone beam from ear to ear when it darts out of the bathroom with a:

“Hiiii, 20100!”

“Whaaaah?!” 20100, halfway through taking its massive backpack off, chokes when it sees the carapace-less 10013, and this time manages to slip through the straps, charge right out of the suite, and slam the door behind it. Roughly twenty steps down the hall, its head finally catches up to what happened, “Waaaaait a moment…”

“10013, was that really you?” it asks mentally, turning to face the suite door with a suspicious expression and still ready to immediately bolt.

“Yup. What’s wrong?” replies 10013, peeking out of the suite into the hall.

“Well- I- you’re- uhhh, your carapace,” is all 20100 can say.

“Ohhhhh, long story. I found some flaws in Mister Shiny’s armor design and I tried to fix them while taking a shower. Are you okay?” it adds when sensing slowly draining panic from 20100’s link.

“Yeah… yeah…” 20100 takes a deep breath to calm itself down, “It’s just… when I saw you like that… I- Do you remember death tunnel ppdj-12sx8?”

“Oh…” is all 10013 can say, “I’ve never been there but I heard it was really bad.”

“Yeah,” 20100 finally gathers enough courage to return back to the suite. As it does so, 10013 returns to turn the shower off and transform from its ‘muscular, dark green, hairless cat’ mode back into the armored little bughorse that it is, “There were drones hanging from the ceiling everywhere, bloated with their carapace stripped. They were all… calling for help but the links didn’t reach too far. I tried to take one down and it just burst from the inside and something fell out and tried to crawl after me. And it kept calling in my head but I knew the drone was dead already. I couldn’t move. I- 9999 came and- That was the only time I know of when high ranks helped us bury the area without complaints or a punishment.”

20100 shudders, but breathes out a sigh of relief when 10013 returns in all its chitinous glory. Immediately, 10013 trots over and hugs 20100.

“But you can still hear them- hear something even now when you get close enough,” 20100 mutters, “It’s been years…”

“Shhh, buddy,” 10013 grabs 20100’s head and boops its nose with its own, “What’s all this?” it nods towards the backpack bursting in the seams to change the subject.

“Huh, oh?” 20100 seems to finally snap out of it, “It’s stuff!” it beams, “I only know what some of it is for but it looked neat so I bought everyone something. There’s a bunch of mechanical tickers for 99111, a tiny radio for 99380, a whole lot of thingies!”

“They’ll be so happy when they return,” 10013 lets go of 20100 and gives it some breathing room, “I gotta say I was a bit worried when you spent the night, uhh, not here.”

“Sorry about that, I got a bit carried away. On the other hole, I got a bunch of points for giving the Queen and 99 something for their guidance throughout the trip. I didn’t find 387 so I left his gift at the Queen’s place but I didn’t get a point for it.”

[10013:0, 20100:9, 36658:4, 99111:4, 99380:6, 99526:3, Smiley:6,

65536:3]

“Wooooow, we’re tied again!” 10013’s eyes go wide, “And if I get that point 387 promised we’ll be in the lead! 36658 won’t be mad at me anymore.”

“I’ve got something for you too, but it’s still a work in progress,” 20100 scratches its head, “More like still just pieces I need to start working with. I’ll get to it as soon as I unpack everything. Speaking of which, did your carapace experiment work?”

“Totally!” 10013 starts helping 20100 unbuckle everything and take out a large number of small boxes and packed up items from its backpack, “This way it’ll be much more resistant against sand, salt from sea water, and grime from the water back home. The plates slide over each other,” it waves its foreleg at various angles to show it, “and there are inside bits around the joints that stop the plates from going too far and cutting the squishy part of your leg off in case you’re carrying something super heavy or if something drops on you.”

“Sounds awesome, but wasn’t the idea of the new carapaces to have us strengthen our muscles by not using our armors as a support?”

10013 freezes.

“Goop!” it facehoofs, “I completely forgot. I was trying so hard to not get all scratchy and sandy again that I missed the whole point,” it sighs, “I guess I won’t be getting that point so easily.”

“Hey, why can’t we have more carapaces anyway? One for worky time and one for breaky time,” 20100 looks at 10013, head tilted, “It’s not like just knowing one more pre-set transformation would burn too much love or anything.”

“Huh. Huuuuuh,” 10013 blinks. 20100 is right, of course, “Why didn’t I think of that? I should have thought of that.”

“You’re thinking of that now, that’s all that matters,” 20100 shrugs, “Where is everyone, by the way? I was expecting 99380 to be glued to the radio like always.”

“Oh, right!” 10013 fiddles with its current cargo to make it fit on the table, “Did you catch the weird tremor in the morning? 10101 was worried about it and the guys are on the way to the underground place to see what it’s all about-”

They keep unpacking as 10013 fills 20100 in on everything that’s happened in the morning.

Author's Note:

Okay, I'm still barely managing to put an update out on time, but the project at work is ending and I might be out of work in June for who knows how long. I just hope I won't become a Nom-less Narrator.

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