• Published 28th Feb 2022
  • 1,534 Views, 942 Comments

They're... ON HOLIDAY? - Nameless Narrator



After reaching peace between Equestria and Hive changelings, queen Chrysalis takes two high ranks and a small retinue of drones with her on a trip to an island holiday resort.

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Day 6 - Worky time cancelled!: 6/8

Roughly an hour and a half of fairly gentle yoga has passed, the sun is warming the beach, and several resort guests are already swimming in the sea.

“Ughhh…” 10013 moans and keels over onto the sandy rocks underneath.

Cadance breaks her stretch and darts over to the drone.

“What’s wrong?”

“I… I haven’t been… this tired… in a long time…” breathes out 10013.

“I thought you said that just being near me was revitalizing enough.”

“It works like that… but not… forever…” 10013’s breathing is slowing down, “We still need some rest after doing something exhausting even with love… and this was something,” it rolls over and, with a grunt, manages to sit up, “How can you do this so easily? You’re not even breathing faster.”

“Years of practice, little guy,” Cadance chuckles, “The yoga set I’m using targets your entire body and, since we made those changes to your carapace, it makes sense there would be movements you’ve never made before and muscles you haven’t used much.”

“Owww…” groans 10013, rubbing the chitin on its legs.

“Can you even feel that through the chitin?” asks Cadance.

“I can,” 10013 nods, wincing as it digs deeper, “Right now I wish I didn’t.”

“There’s a massage parlor in the resort. I can take you there later if you want.”

“What’s it for?” 10013 tilts its head, “Message… thingy…”

Massage,” Cadance shakes her head, “You know what? It’ll be a surprise,” she looks around, then at the sky, “I guess we’ve done enough for the morning. Let me pack up and we’ll go see if Shining is awake.”

10013 nods, and watches Cadance roll up her mat and put it away into her backpack. When she’s done, the drone stands up with a grunt of pain, which is followed by a pink shimmer surrounding its belly and being telekinetically picked up and flown on Cadance’s back.

“I can still walk, I think.”

“Let’s not test that right now. Besides, I don’t want to be too late for breakfast.”

In a few minutes, they land back by the entrance to Cadance and Shining Armor’s bungalow where 10013 curls up next to the door, blinks, yawns, blinks again…

The drone wakes up with a gasp when it feels a hoof gently poke it.

“Whu-whah?” it sits up, blinks, and hisses as multiple places of its body protest the movement with soreness, “Ouch!”

“It hasn’t moved all this time, Your Majesty,” reports a familiar voice which, upon 10013’s brief look around, is revealed to be one of the Crystal Guards belonging to Cadance’s delegation.

“Good job, Prism,” says Shining Armor, standing over 10013 with Cadance, “10013, Cadance explained what you wanted from me during breakfast-”

“Huh?” 10013 finally recovers enough to check that… it’s been asleep for over an hour, “Oh… right, Scufflestick!”

“More importantly, I think, the idea of remodeling your carapace,” Shining corrects it, “I’m not too keen on improving the changeling army-”

“We’re not an army, Mister Shiny,” 10013 shakes its head, “That’s the warriors or infiltrators. Back… back during the invasion we were kinda just projectiles to go splat against the big bubble. Anyway, Miss Cadance said you could help us drones be more mobile without losing our armor, and that would mean getting munched by gribblers a lot less.”

Shining decides to ignore the fatalism of the previous statement and files it as something to change his opinion on the life of changeling drones later.

“I mean that your warriors could copy my improvements of your armor and use them.”

“Ahahaha-!” 10013 bursts into laughter until it starts coughing when its body protests the movements again, “-haha- OW! Ouch ouch ouch… makes sense you can’t spell yoghurt without hurt…” it rubs its chest before wiping mixed tears of amusement and pain, “I wouldn’t worry too much, Mister Shiny. I don’t think any high rank has ever bothered copying a drone in anything other than our ability to dig, and they never figured that out either. Not sure why…” it scratches its head.

“Come on, Shiny,” Cadance nudges her husband who pouts, “I know you want to go wild with the designs, especially the ones that the Crystal Guards refused.”

“Why couldn’t they just understand the importance of the customized, wide-hipped butt plate for stabilization?!” laments Shining towards the sky.

“Because some citizens ended up following our guards just like these drones did on the beach in direct sunlight,” Cadance smirks smugly, “And I refused to deal with more public indecency filings. I doubt that would be a problem with these drones,” she points at 10013 who sniffs her hoof in response, “Drone, how would you describe my husband’s backside?”

10013 walks around Shining currently gasping for air and looking in vain for a proper response.

“Uhh, white?” 10013 nervously looks at Cadance.

“There you have it,” she boops Shining before leaning in and whispering into his ear, “Look, I know you have reservations, but I also know you want to nerd out with these little guys and your tactical war games. I also know a part of you is already thinking about all the ways their armor plates can overlap for increased mobility and lowered weight. Give in to the geek side, Shiny, with someone whom you don’t need to persuade for once! Give iiiiiin.”

That does it, and Shining finally grins before looking down at 10013.

“Alright, little guy. Do we do your armor or Battlem- Scufflestick first?”

Excellent!” Cadance opens the door to the bungalow and enters, calling out from the inside, “I’m taking Glintstone and Prism and we’re going to the city. That should give you more than enough time to enjoy yourself.”

Within minutes, Shining and 10013 are left alone inside the bungalow, both unsure where to begin.

It’s for the good of dronekind. I can’t just be sitting here.

As it so often is with drones, 10013 is the one to gather courage since it has no other choice, really.

“Well, you asked what we should do first,” it peeps with hesitation, “The Queen told us to have fun so I sent the others to explore the resort while I would see if you had time. So… I think that maybe we could start with my carapace so that I can get used to whatever we think of and then show the others once we’re done with Scufflestick, and they’ll still have time to explore this strange place.”

“Efficient, I like it,” Shining nods approvingly, “So, since my wife brought it up and my ingrate guards back home refused to go with the most important armor part for chasing or running away - let’s start with the all-important extended hip bone mobility platform aka. the butt plate.

***

20100 puts the final finishing touch on its drawing with just the happiest smile on its muzzle.

“Hee hee hee!” it slowly floats down from the top of the blackboard, examining the detailed artwork depicting the High Score cavern filled with drones chatting, trading, playing with rocks and sticks, and a lucky one currently flying through the air, flailing its legs, after gaining a bit too much speed going down the big slide.

The happiest drone place in all the world.

Whoah, I’ve been drawing for hours! I hope I didn’t bother anyone with it.

“Woooo!” a voice calls out from behind it, followed by a rumbling applause of hooves and talons, whistling, and more calls.

“Eep! Unexplained noises!” 20100 instinctively darts forward, slamming its muzzle directly into the wall under the blackboard and bouncing off. The sounds immediately stop, which makes it shake its head, turn around, and face the roughly thirty various creatures in the dining room watching it with a mix of surprise, awe, and amusement, “Whuh?”

Yet another look around reveals a small, folding whiteboard covered in pony scribbles nearby which wasn’t there before. During its brief glance, 20100 only reads the part written in those non-curly, sticky scribbles, which states ‘MENU’.

Didn’t the kitchen griffon say he wanted to write that on the blackboard?

“Uh, hello!” 20100 gulps nervously, and waves at the watching creatures, “Sorry, I’m gonna clean that up right away, ehehe…”

“Wait, what? No no no no!” a mare stands up from the table.

“But I promised Mister griffon to clean up after myself so that he could write stuff down here,” the drone taps the blackboard.

“B-But this is a masterpiece!” objects the mare, supported by numerous ‘yeah’s and nods of agreement, “You can’t just wipe it-”

“Nu uh!” 20100 shakes its head with vigor, “I promised, and we gotta do what we promise,” it trots over to the nearby basin, grabs the wet rag inside it, and begins wiping the blackboard, much to the audible disappointment of everyone, “See?” it points to the whiteboard containing the menu, “Mister griffon probably had to write on that because I was drawing for too long, I think,” 20100 rubs its chin, “I got a bit carried away and I must have missed everything. Now I gotta fix it. Rules are rules!”

20100 quickly finishes cleaning the blackboard and its own hooves afterwards, which is met with more disappointed chatter, making it clear its throat and raise its head:

“Umm, everyone? I mean, if you want me to draw something, you can always just ask and I’ll get to you when the Queen or 10013 let me, okay?” it beams, “I like drawing.”

“I can get you a mansion with servants in Saddle Arabia if you can paint the ceiling of-”

“Three hundred thousand bits for a landscape in my greenhouse-”

“The hottest griffons! Male or female. I can traffic a dragon slave too-”

“Chineighese foals-”

“Meep! Meepmeepmeep!” 20100 backpedals into a wall when everyone begins yelling out their offers, but recovers when they don’t move closer, “Please, ask the Queen first. I can’t just leave the hive. I got worky time quota to fill. Thank you!”

It darts out of the dining room.

“Hey, 20100, can ya hear me?” 99380’s voice rings through 20100’s head.

“Loud and clear, buddy!” replies 20100.

“Oh goop, should I be quieter and more crackly like the real talky box? Did I yell? I’m still getting used to this whole thingy!”

“Don’t worry, you’re doing fine. Did you need anything or do you just want to chat?”

“Right! 10013 is calling everyone to Mister Shiny’s place,” a marker appears on the hive mind map of the resort, “I think they’re ready for Scufflestick.”

“Perfect! I’ll be there shortly.”

“See ya! I’m on the way too.”

***

With a smack of its hoof, 99111 fastens the final wooden peg in the wall of what Miss Trixie called a “disappearing cabinet”, and walks over to the blue unicorn mare carefully monitoring the vast array of bubbling and sizzling chemistry equipment. Having spent its entire morning by resizing wood planks and glueing them to prepared glass panes to make mirrors, putting together a rather comfortable box with a hidden, in-built cut running through its center, and finishing off the cabinet from yesterday with Trixie, the drone takes in a deep breath as well as a quick break.

“Hi, 99111. 10013 is calling everyone for Scufflestick and some kind of a surprise.”

“Miss Trixie?” the drone speaks out quietly.

“Busyyyyy…” she groans, not looking away from the burners.

“10013 called us for something we’ve been planning for some time now-”

“Good job with the props. I doubt you could help me with chemistry anyway,” she mutters while levitating two beakers and swapping them between burners, “You can go.”

“Okay, I’ll be back when we’re done,” 99111 walks over to the door and waves at Trixie before leaving, “Byyyye!”

“Yeah, yeah, shoo…” she’s clearly barely listening and, having been spending quite a lot of time around someone as touchy as Trixie, 99111 is quickly learning when not to bother someone.

***

The three soldiers- builders- psychiatrists' patients all salute as one as the final protective wall of sandcastle Goopenstein falters and crumbles under the tide that’s risen over the past several hours. Within the next ebb and flow, the outer wall of the central fortress caves in as well, washing away small, simplistic, four-legged figures.

“Excellent job, Sub-Private BB and 36658!” announces 65536, “It was a bit touch and go on the first wall, but we lasted long enough to successfully cover the retreat of all civilians. That earns you both a promotion to honorary Privates!”

“I’m not sure if watching what I helped build being washed away is helping…” ponders 36658, “Because, you know, that’s exactly what I’m trying to avoid.”

“Yup!” 65536 nods, “On the other hole, building it did stop you from thinking about all that gloomy stuff for a while, and it’s good to be busy working in the fresh air from time to time.”

“I guess,” 36658 begrudgingly admits that the guard drone is right.

“And does the same apply to you, Mister Blueblood? Be honeeeest,” 65536 walks under Blueblood’s chin, stands up on the tips of its hooves, and looks straight up with a huge smile.

“An excellent lesson about how putting your problems away for later always works!” Blueblood replies chipperly, only daring to look down for a second and then snapping his head to look straight ahead to avoid laughing.

“Hmph!” 65536 huffs, “I know what we did was too small to help or fix anything, but moving around helps with being physically healthy, and a healthy body is a good step towards a healthier mind.”

“Did Sharp Biscuit say that?” Blueblood finally looks down at the drone now standing in front of him and 36658 again.

“Yup! About his unicorn friend. He talked about him a lot,” 65536 nods, “Now, seeing that light work helped both of you a bit, how about you join me at night for my regular bendies, pushies, and pullies? They have a crazy gym here!”

“Is that why you’re not tired at all?” asks 36658. Unlike it or even Blueblood, 65536’s breathing hasn’t even quickened despite working like 36658 and talking non-stop.

“Mhm, I learned that if you spend love getting stronger for real, not just as an enhancement, you spend less love next time you need to do it. It becomes natural,” 65536 nods, “And if I become stronger, it’s harder to get surprised by baddies when low on love. It’s an investment - using the good times to prepare for the bad times because, as drones, we know better than anyone that nothing ever lasts. Us included,” it tilts its head, closing its eyes briefly and giving 36658 a warm smile.

“Was that the lesson you had planned all along?” asks 36658, “Because I kinda already knew-”

“Not really,” 65536 interrupts it, “I just wanted both of you to think of something else while doing a tiny bit for your physical health,” it shrugs, “But hey, maybe it’s like you always say - High Score provides at the right time, you just gotta keep trying. And see? We got to an important point without even forcing anything.”

“You threatened to tell the Queen on me,” 36658 objects.

“Of course I didn’t mean that,” 65536 huffs, ”But, as Commander Sharp would probably say, you needed a butt kick in the right direction, and that was my heavy boot,” 65536 corrects itself, nervously scratching its head with a chuckle.

36658 ponders whether to push it, but it’s close enough to hear the mental message from 10013 to 99380 regarding Scufflestick.

“I gotta go. 10013’s is calling,” it says instead.

“Alrighty!” 65536 boops 36658, “And try to cheer up. If it becomes too hard, come find me and we’ll do some pushies together. I promise it works and, after a set or two, you won’t be thinking of anything other than how to not pass out. I know I did when I first started. Miss Gem will refill you up no problem afterwards.”

“I might take you up on that,” 36658 flies up into the air, “Bye, 65536! Bye, Mister Blueblood!”

***

99380 catches up with 99526 carrying a huge, plastic bag of something on the pier in front of the water bungalow of the Crystal Empire delegation.

“Whoa! You look exhausted, buddy,” comments 99526, voice full of concern, “Are you okay?”

“I just need a bit… of rest,” the limping radio drone smiles, “I got a bunch of new games to tell you all about. I think I might have to use my point to ask a high rank for a recharge. Phew, I’m gooped,” it shakes its head before nodding to 99526’s back, “What’s in the bag?”

“A nice griffon gave me noms to share!” 99526 beams, knocking at the bungalow door.

10013 opens, but somehow it’s not the same 10013 the two drones know. Its carapace looks unusual, and the drone is visibly exhausted.

“Come in, guys,” it leads the two inside where all the others are already waiting and watching Shining Armor examine 36658.

“You look different,” 99526 circles around 10013.

“We’ll get to that. Mister Shiny helped me improve my carapace and now I can move a lot better without being squishier. It feels very wobbly, though. I want all of you to try before we get to Scufflestick. Unfortunately, I can’t top you off, 99380. I’m running low myself. Speaking of which, what were you guys doing?”

“A nice griffon lady showed me a whole lotta ways of how to play with big and small balls!” reports 99380 eagerly, making Shining Armor’s head snap its way. Something else catches his eye before he can process 99380’s message, though.

“Is that dry cat food?” he asks, eyes narrowing in suspicion.

“It’s noms!” 99526 brings the bag into the center of the room and opens it, “Try it!”

“I’m going to ignore the blatant speciesism and appreciate that someone gave you a gift. How does it taste?” Shining frowns.

“Crunchy!” reports 20100 in all seriousness before shoveling a hoofful into its mouth.

“Thaaaat’s not a taste…” mutters Shining.

“You sure?” 99526 raises an eyebrow, taking a piece and curiously chewing it, “It tastes crunchy to me. Maybe it’s a changeling thing? We can taste love after all, so maybe we can taste crunchy.”

“You know what? I’m not going to dig into that,” Shining shakes his head, “We have way too much on our agenda for today already,” he looks around, “Okay, so to recap for the rest of you - Cadance had this idea about your carapaces…”

***

Humming to herself while accompanied by the two Crystal Guards, Cadance notices 93 casually strolling through the central road bisecting the resort and approaches.

“Hello, Miss… I don’t think we’ve been introduced, but you’re one of the changeling nobility, right?”

93 gives her a polite bow of her head.

“Close enough, Your Majesty,” she says, “I’m 93. That’s not age, that’s my rank, but feel free to use it as my name. Is there anything I can help you with?”

“Cadance will suffice, 93,” she looks at Prism and Glintstone whose stares aimed at 93 are a mix of sternness and downright hostility, “At ease, you two. We don’t want to strain our already tense relationship with the changeling hive.”

“I’m more than used to it,” 93 shakes her head, “You’re still several steps ahead of the griffons. Sometimes it makes me want to try out a drone disguise to feel more accepted.”

Cadance chuckles to herself.

“No offence, but that wouldn’t work, at least not for long. It’s not their shape, it’s their demeanor,” she says, “However, your drones are exactly why we’re talking.”

“What did they do this time?” 93 tenses up.

“Be excellent companions,” Cadance’s soft smile only serves to confuse 93, “Too perfect, actually. I’m going to need someone to eventually separate them from my husband, because he’s nerding out and in such a state I have no sway on him.”

“I’m not sure I understand,” 93 tilts her head.

“We’re going to the city,” Cadance nods to the guards, “That’s bound to take several hours, but when we come back I don’t doubt Shining will be in the middle of a game with your drones, and I so hate his puppy eyes whenever I tell him he has to stop playing with his tactical models. So, how about you take the fall and tell your nice drones they have to leave for the day instead?”

“Understood… I think.”

“Excellent!” Cadance claps her hooves together, “Now, you feel rather hungry to me. Let’s fix that.”

“I’m okay, really-”

“Nonsense!” Cadance’s horn flashes, and 93 stumbles as a wave of pure, nourishing love pours over her, “See?”

“This is- I-” 93 has never felt this before. Fresh, untainted love. Nothing fake or stale, no mixed lust, just pure love, “Thank you, Your Maj- Cadance,” she bows, this time down to the ground.

“Don’t mention it,” Cadance starts walking, “Prism, Glintstone, let’s go. Oh, and Miss 93, do share with your delightful drones. They might be a hoofful, but they’re a pleasure to be around. See you later!”

Leaving 93 completely stunned by the best amount and quality of love she’s ever had as well as… everything else, really, Cadance walks off.

“See… you…?” is all 93 mumbles quietly.

Well… uhh… that takes care of today’s feeding…

Suddenly having much more free time on her hooves, 93 connects Cadance’s mention of tactical games with Shining Armor taking the drones away on the beach after their crash when they were confused by the ‘completely unrealistic’ chess.

This could be interesting.

She decides to stretch her wings, and flies over to the water bungalows within minutes. She doesn’t even need to check the map, since there’s only one from which she can sense almost every single drone hive link, including 65536’s, with the only exception being Smiley. Landing straight in front of the door, she knocks and, after a brief clicking of a lock, 65536 opens.

“Greetings, Miss 93!” the guard drone salutes.

“No need to be official, 65536,” she pats it and enters, much to Shining Armor’s visible unease. As he stops writing on a blackboard and approaches her, she bows to ease the tension, “Her Majesty, Empress Cadance, asked me to check up on the drones and to feed them if need be, which seems to be the case,” she points at visibly exhausted 10013 who has been the prime subject of carapace experiments.

“Amokay!” dizzily replies the drone leader, lying spread-eagle on its back with its head watching the blackboard upside down and breathing heavily.

“We’re about to start with Scufflestick, Miss 93,” reports 65536, “But, so far, Mister Shiny and 10013 have been working on making drone carapaces fit better. Look!” it flies up and spins in the air in front of 93, all the while flailing all its legs in angles it never could before, “I’ll be SO GOOD at guarding now!”

“You wanna play Scufflestick with us?” asks 99526, shaking its bag of cat food, “We even got noms!”

93 narrows her eyes at Shining Armor.

“May I ask if it was you who gave them the cat-?”

“No,” he replies immediately, shaking his head, “And my reaction was pretty much the same as yours, but they seem to like it-”

“Very crunchy!” explains 99380 helpfully.

“Mhm, so you keep saying,” Shining Armor rolls his eyes, “Aaanyway, thank you for your concern about the drones, but from my experience, mares don’t exactly enjoy Battlemace. Feel free to feed the drones, and-”

“But this is Scufflestick!” 99526 interrupts him, “And everyone can play Scufflestick! That’s the whole point. Even 20100 can play if it get someone to roll the dice for it,” it beams, “You wanna hear about my, uhh -whatdidyacallit?- faction?”

“If the Emperor doesn’t mind me doing so while feeding you guys?” 93 questioningly looks at Shining.

Drones wibble.

“...girlsneverlikeBattlemaceandcallmeandmyfriendsnerds…” Shining grumbles before sighing and returning back to the borrowed blackboard covered in writing and pictures, “Of course I don’t mind, Miss 93.”

“Yaaaay!” 99526 throws its forelegs in the air, “So…”

Author's Note:

Next up:

"It is the 41st millennium..."

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