“Right at the bottom, you have Workers, they, as their name suggests, are the basic workforce of the Hive, they build and farm, they also help the soldiers in battle, often by carrying things but mosts Hives also use Workers as light troops” he finished.
Right. Workers are the bottom rung, then? You like to pull the Uno-Reverse card, don't you? And here I hoped you wouldn't do that with the attendant thing, but I guess I was mistaken. I'm kinda sad you proved me right, after all. Workers never get the love and appreciation in changeling fics...
"Lay my what?" I said in a strangled voice.
I am astonished our dear nameless queen didn't once realize what being a queen actually meant. Granted, not everyone knows a lot about insects, but I was under the assumption most people at least knew that the queen in the hive is like... the mother of the entire thing (that is, if she isn't newly hatched/emerged and has just started on her... duty ).
And there is ch4, a shorter one this time, mostly because I'm almost 4 days early, but I have people arriving for the holidays tomorrow and I won't be able to write while I'm hosting
Eh, I didn't notice a huge difference. Then again, I'm used to reading chapters at least four times that length. *shrug*
11093319 Workers may be considered the bottom culturally but in reality the Hive wouldn't work (ha) without them.
My idea on the mcs reaction to the egg thing is less that they didn't know a Queen bug lays eggs but more like they've had so much else going on that it kind of sliped their mind that they would be doing such a thing.
Workers may be considered the bottom culturally but in reality the Hive wouldn't work (ha) without them.
Still... that attendant thing is just... ugh. You did a complete reverse, putting drones above workers. I mean, yeah, drones IRL have it kinda bad basically only existing for their... ahem, 'reproductive fluid'... but what you're doing isn't much better. I mean, props to you for not making drones into sex slaves and whatnot...
11093484 That's fair, I suppose. I'll be honest, the main reason I'm useing the word drone as I am is because I wanted a more utility based set of castes that do things like science, admin or sneaky stuff and although irl drones are, as you say, only wanted for their fluids, I wanted them to have a bit more to do then just being breeders.
For Attendants specifically I wanted an almost noble class but just don't like the word noble in this case, it just sounds off, so I went with Attendant instead.
Esto se puso bueno bi pusdo esperar sats que salga el siguiente episodio, estoy tan emocionado. Pd: me gustó mucho el nuevo episodio 😁👍 Y saludos desde Perú 🇦🇹 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
11093503 That's fine. But do give workers some love, too? :3
Heck, my issue is mostly with the attendant drones. Every caste above worker is a drone. A worker's main purpose after emerging is looking after the hive and their queen to make sure everything is alright. If you have to, make castes up without using either worker or drone. Otherwise, this just seems like 'If you're not a drone, you're worth less' and since pretty much every caste aside from queen is above the worker caste... can you see where I'm going with this?
Maybe also keep in mind that, in a hive, the queen usually doesn't have much to say about anything since, much like drones, she's drawn the short end of the stick with pumping out eggs like crazy. (In honey bee) hives, workers have all the power since they get to decide whether the queen lives or dies, whether or not a worker larva becomes a queen. Food for thought, maybe?
I mean I could just remove drone from their name I suppose? I get where you're coming from but the Changeling Hives aren't going to be a one for one mirror of a normal bug hive, irl you're perfectly right and Queens, like drones, are just repopulation machines with the workers in control, but that's not how Changelings (in this world) work, I get the desire to make them fit insect terminology and behaviour, but that just won't work for a story where the Queens are the leaders and have absolute power.
The names I went with are mostly being used to try and help people keep track of roles in the hive, most people just don't know how a normal insect hive works or what each caste irl does so I figured it was the easiest way to convey that info to people.
As to non-drones being worth less, if you just look at it in the resources expended to make them, they basically are, that's not to say their role is worth less, far from it, they are just easier to replace.
I get the desire to make them fit insect terminology and behaviour
You have to admit, not many people even bother with the whole caste thing aside for drones and queens. It's rare to see someone put at least a little bit of thought into this, which you are doing an admirable job so far. I suppose I'm just a little bit pouty, dear. I've somewhat fallen in love with bees (seriously, they are awesome... aside from hornets, those deserve a nice crispy eternity in hell) and seeing basically everyone not give a damn about making fictional insects actually be insects is kinda sad to watch time after time. That's the curse of knowledge, someone always knows less (or more) than you do and it can get aggravating pretty fast.
If I had known that I would fall into this kind of mindset as I started working on my own changeling fic, I would have... no, actually, I would have definitely still done research into IRL hives. Maybe I should remind myself a bit more that this is fiction.
The names I went with are mostly being used to try and help people keep track of roles in the hive
Attendant would have been enough for you to get the idea across, just saying. Do give people more credit, not everybody has a potato for a brain like me. I'm by far not stupid, but my arrogance kinda makes up for that part. >.>
11093544 Bees are indeed vary cool 🐝 Don't apologise for having an interest or knowledge, but just think of my changelings as half insects rather than full insects, they have bug traits but also mammal/other animal traits too.
I wasn't trying to imply anyone was a potato lol, I may just phase out the drone part of Attendant and infiltrater but with Athenaeums it would be harder to drop the drone part.
Eh, don't worry about that. I was just being a bit self-depreciating, ignore it.
I hope I'm not making you feel forced to edit parts of your story, that certainly was never my intention with this. It's just... the devil is in the details with these kinda things and it is hard making it perfect. I've struggled with that part on more than one occassion and am just trying to offer some small part of advice (I'm more than a little bit worried how things are going to come across when I eventually release my story... I can already see the outraged comments for that one >.>). The more you put into your story, the more difficult it will become to balance. Already, you have way more castes than I ever dared to imagine changelings might have. I have mad respect for your ambition and dearly want to see it work out instead of seeing this end up like so many other stories... abandoned. I can't stress this enough, dear. Don't be like me and write on mere whims (it has worked out for me, so far, but I don't nearly bother to put in as much detail as you seem to want to do).
11093597 It's no problem, I'll see how the change feels as I go into the next chapter after xmas and if it feels better I'll keep it and if not then I'll just keep things how they are now. Don't worry about possibly making me feel like I should change something, I've always said if I write a fic I'll take peoples thoughts into account on smaller stuff, but the core will stay what I've planed, even if only a small number of people end up liking it.
I can already see the outraged comments for that one
Oh trust me, I know that feeling, there is an aspect of this story that I know is going to really turn some people off right away, before even seeing where it goes, and I won't even blame them because if I do it wrong it could suck, so it will be on me to get it to feel right and have it be something with interesting implications, rather then what it will seem at face value.
I have mad respect for your ambition and dearly want to see it work out instead of seeing this end up like so many other stories... abandoned.
Be not afraid, I have no plans to abandon it, the rate of chapters may go slower or faster at points depending on irl situations but I have a plan set out of what will happen, it's just putting it to text and fleshing it out.
it's funny that you say I put a lot of detail in, I'm over here thinking "Damn, there could be so much more detail here" lol.
Oh trust me, I know that feeling, there is an aspect of this story that I know is going to really turn some people off right away
That sounds ominous. Can't be much worse than some of the comments I got on my last story. And, to be honest, I can't wait to get even more of that because that's just going to be fun. Haah, I'm way too easily baited into arguments, I really should just ignore the idiots altogether. >.>
it's funny that you say I put a lot of detail in, I'm over here thinking "Damn, there could be so much more detail here" lol.
Pfft, what? Dear, you friggin' made a map and came up with unique biology and multiple castes and how they interact with each other, are you kidding me?!
Pfft, what? Dear, you friggin' made a map and came up with unique biology and multiple castes and how they interact with each other, are you kidding me?!
Thank you I more mean about my environment descriptions though, when I'm writing out a scene I can see it in my head but I'm not sure I get it across very well, but that will be a thing that I improve as I go along I suppose.
That sounds ominous
Yes but also no, looking back over what I wrote that could be taken as a great many different things but it's not anything really horrible, well nothing more horrible anyway
11093640 I know exactly what you mean. I’ve read Wheel of Time several times over the last couple decades, and so I have the same problem: how to put that kind of rich detail about places and character and costume into something without overdoing it and making it drag with too much scenery exposition? Have I put in enough? Am I edging towards too much?
I find that less is more. You can always add more later over the course of the story, but you can’t fix things if you’ve driven a reader away with plodding. You seem to be hitting a very good balance right now. We know they’re hanging out by an oasis in a desert. We can all imagine that. There are plants of some sort big enough to hide a changebug queen, but not too big or thick for that environment. We have a fair idea of what said changebugs look like, even if we try to read it from the perspective of someone who has never watched MLP or read another fanfic.
You’ve got a solid base to build on, and if you want more detail, you are set to be able to dole it out as the MC discovers and notices those details themselves, or moves into a new environment altogether. Which will give it a natural, progressive feel, rather than being forced exposition that bores people.
11095340 In a way I suppose it's a bit of both, Queenie wasn't sure what to call him since she is not used to the idea of a true hermaphrodite and didn't know how to address him properly without a name, however, after the link was made and he became her first Attendant (a mostly male role in a Hive) she instinctually started referring to him as male without even really noticing.
As to him being a nobody before the link, he kind of was, in the eyes of other Changelings at least, a banished Changeling is seen as defective and most end up in a half-starved feral state and are often killed when they are noticed in a Hives territory.
I do not regret adding this story to my tracking in the slightest.I like changeling stories and this one seems to have good worldbuilding and an intriguing direction
This is going well. Certainly holding my interest. I think I'd advise not spending too many more chapters on "how changelings work" infodumps. She still have to learn about cocoons and egg-laying and making love gel and digging hives and spitting construction resin and how to shapeshift and how to extract love from living prey and magic...there's a lot of stuff she has to learn. Obviously this story is doing well and being featured and holding everyone's interest, but please keep in mind that at some point readers are going to want some plot some progression too. You still have wiggle room. But please be aware.
11111248 Glad you're enjoying it You're kind of right on time period, it's definitely pre banishment, but it's also pre Equestria by a few hundred or maybe even a thousand-ish years at this point in the story.
It remains to be seen how the gem fits into things. Clearly it was used, but is it still active or awaiting activation? Maybe some sort of failure? Science must be done!... When more stability is obtained.
11111328 Oh! Didn't see your reply. Word to the now informed: if you reply to a comment from the story summary page, and the comment you're replying to isn't on the latest chapter, they don't get notified about it. Gotta go into that chapter's comment section and reply from there. 😇
11114816 Thank you, I'm glad you're enjoying the lore
Oops, my auto correct program must have cought them and changed them lol, I will sort them out once I get the new chapter done, I'm days late on that at the moment.
MC has plenty of time, it took the scouting party several days to fly to that lake, and unless the drones have fed unlike Coreid who was going to die by the next day, they'd be starving and die before reaching the hive, seeing how the soldiers were carrying everyone's share of rations.
So if they didn't cannibalize each other for one to at least make it back and tell about another hive, no one will ever know, it'll just be a write off to a lost scouting party
“Yes, that is right, your Majesty, and I don’t have a name anymore, I lost it when I was banished.” Wow that sucks, don’t even get to keep your name?
Maybe you can choose your own now. I mean no queen around to tell you otherwise.
"An excellent plan, my Queen, secure Love and then build a Hive so you have somewhere to lay your eggs," he said with a nod. I stood completely still for a few moments and then looked back at him. "Lay my what?" I said in a strangled voice.
At least things won't get bored for them anytime soon...
Also why he should do things the same way other queens do and the changeling race as a whole? Why follow the same rules of the hive and warfare? Do it in human-style by making progress, upgrades, updates, and seeking efficiency without creating drawbacks
Another chapter! Thanks so much, you made my day. Merry Christmas!
I love this story! If my Shadow Hive Kingdom existed in this story, how would our Queen react to them?
Hope to see more
I demand the new changeling be named Steve. Steve is a helpful little bug
Right. Workers are the bottom rung, then? You like to pull the Uno-Reverse card, don't you? And here I hoped you wouldn't do that with the attendant thing, but I guess I was mistaken. I'm kinda sad you proved me right, after all. Workers never get the love and appreciation in changeling fics...
I am astonished our dear nameless queen didn't once realize what being a queen actually meant. Granted, not everyone knows a lot about insects, but I was under the assumption most people at least knew that the queen in the hive is like... the mother of the entire thing (that is, if she isn't newly hatched/emerged and has just started on her... duty ).
Eh, I didn't notice a huge difference. Then again, I'm used to reading chapters at least four times that length. *shrug*
11093246
Wow. Shameless plug being shameless. I mean, I do it occasionally to make a point about something, but this is actually shameless.
Dunno whether I should admonish you for that or not, that takes guts.
Featured, again!
11093320
Ok
Queen: "Is abortion an option?"
Drone: " What is abortion?"
Queesn: "F*ck!"
Good chapter
Maybe they could go to equestria and talk with celestia about forming a treaty and letting her make her hive in there borders.
11093319
Workers may be considered the bottom culturally but in reality the Hive wouldn't work (ha) without them.
My idea on the mcs reaction to the egg thing is less that they didn't know a Queen bug lays eggs but more like they've had so much else going on that it kind of sliped their mind that they would be doing such a thing.
11093466
I'm afraid that the story is baced so far in the past that Equestria and even Celestia don't actually exist yet, perhaps one day though.
11093326
11093234
Oh nice!
I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far, merry Christmas to you too
11093467
Still... that attendant thing is just... ugh. You did a complete reverse, putting drones above workers. I mean, yeah, drones IRL have it kinda bad basically only existing for their... ahem, 'reproductive fluid'... but what you're doing isn't much better. I mean, props to you for not making drones into sex slaves and whatnot...
11093484
That's fair, I suppose.
I'll be honest, the main reason I'm useing the word drone as I am is because I wanted a more utility based set of castes that do things like science, admin or sneaky stuff and although irl drones are, as you say, only wanted for their fluids, I wanted them to have a bit more to do then just being breeders.
For Attendants specifically I wanted an almost noble class but just don't like the word noble in this case, it just sounds off, so I went with Attendant instead.
A good chapter. I like this new changeling lore. Feels very well thought out.
Esto se puso bueno bi pusdo esperar sats que salga el siguiente episodio, estoy tan emocionado.
Pd: me gustó mucho el nuevo episodio 😁👍
Y saludos desde Perú 🇦🇹
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
11093503
That's fine. But do give workers some love, too? :3
Heck, my issue is mostly with the attendant drones. Every caste above worker is a drone. A worker's main purpose after emerging is looking after the hive and their queen to make sure everything is alright. If you have to, make castes up without using either worker or drone. Otherwise, this just seems like 'If you're not a drone, you're worth less' and since pretty much every caste aside from queen is above the worker caste... can you see where I'm going with this?
Maybe also keep in mind that, in a hive, the queen usually doesn't have much to say about anything since, much like drones, she's drawn the short end of the stick with pumping out eggs like crazy. (In honey bee) hives, workers have all the power since they get to decide whether the queen lives or dies, whether or not a worker larva becomes a queen. Food for thought, maybe?
11093511
Don't worry, Workers will be shown some love.
I mean I could just remove drone from their name I suppose? I get where you're coming from but the Changeling Hives aren't going to be a one for one mirror of a normal bug hive, irl you're perfectly right and Queens, like drones, are just repopulation machines with the workers in control, but that's not how Changelings (in this world) work, I get the desire to make them fit insect terminology and behaviour, but that just won't work for a story where the Queens are the leaders and have absolute power.
The names I went with are mostly being used to try and help people keep track of roles in the hive, most people just don't know how a normal insect hive works or what each caste irl does so I figured it was the easiest way to convey that info to people.
As to non-drones being worth less, if you just look at it in the resources expended to make them, they basically are, that's not to say their role is worth less, far from it, they are just easier to replace.
11093524
You have to admit, not many people even bother with the whole caste thing aside for drones and queens. It's rare to see someone put at least a little bit of thought into this, which you are doing an admirable job so far. I suppose I'm just a little bit pouty, dear. I've somewhat fallen in love with bees (seriously, they are awesome... aside from hornets, those deserve a nice crispy eternity in hell) and seeing basically everyone not give a damn about making fictional insects actually be insects is kinda sad to watch time after time. That's the curse of knowledge, someone always knows less (or more) than you do and it can get aggravating pretty fast.
If I had known that I would fall into this kind of mindset as I started working on my own changeling fic, I would have... no, actually, I would have definitely still done research into IRL hives. Maybe I should remind myself a bit more that this is fiction.
Attendant would have been enough for you to get the idea across, just saying. Do give people more credit, not everybody has a potato for a brain like me. I'm by far not stupid, but my arrogance kinda makes up for that part. >.>
11093544
Bees are indeed vary cool 🐝
Don't apologise for having an interest or knowledge, but just think of my changelings as half insects rather than full insects, they have bug traits but also mammal/other animal traits too.
I wasn't trying to imply anyone was a potato lol, I may just phase out the drone part of Attendant and infiltrater but with Athenaeums it would be harder to drop the drone part.
11093556
Eh, don't worry about that. I was just being a bit self-depreciating, ignore it.
I hope I'm not making you feel forced to edit parts of your story, that certainly was never my intention with this. It's just... the devil is in the details with these kinda things and it is hard making it perfect. I've struggled with that part on more than one occassion and am just trying to offer some small part of advice (I'm more than a little bit worried how things are going to come across when I eventually release my story... I can already see the outraged comments for that one >.>). The more you put into your story, the more difficult it will become to balance. Already, you have way more castes than I ever dared to imagine changelings might have. I have mad respect for your ambition and dearly want to see it work out instead of seeing this end up like so many other stories... abandoned. I can't stress this enough, dear. Don't be like me and write on mere whims (it has worked out for me, so far, but I don't nearly bother to put in as much detail as you seem to want to do).
11093597
It's no problem, I'll see how the change feels as I go into the next chapter after xmas and if it feels better I'll keep it and if not then I'll just keep things how they are now.
Don't worry about possibly making me feel like I should change something, I've always said if I write a fic I'll take peoples thoughts into account on smaller stuff, but the core will stay what I've planed, even if only a small number of people end up liking it.
Oh trust me, I know that feeling, there is an aspect of this story that I know is going to really turn some people off right away, before even seeing where it goes, and I won't even blame them because if I do it wrong it could suck, so it will be on me to get it to feel right and have it be something with interesting implications, rather then what it will seem at face value.
Be not afraid, I have no plans to abandon it, the rate of chapters may go slower or faster at points depending on irl situations but I have a plan set out of what will happen, it's just putting it to text and fleshing it out.
it's funny that you say I put a lot of detail in, I'm over here thinking "Damn, there could be so much more detail here" lol.
11093624
That sounds ominous. Can't be much worse than some of the comments I got on my last story. And, to be honest, I can't wait to get even more of that because that's just going to be fun. Haah, I'm way too easily baited into arguments, I really should just ignore the idiots altogether. >.>
Pfft, what? Dear, you friggin' made a map and came up with unique biology and multiple castes and how they interact with each other, are you kidding me?!
11093630
Thank you I more mean about my environment descriptions though, when I'm writing out a scene I can see it in my head but I'm not sure I get it across very well, but that will be a thing that I improve as I go along I suppose.
Yes but also no, looking back over what I wrote that could be taken as a great many different things but it's not anything really horrible, well nothing more horrible anyway
11093640
I know exactly what you mean. I’ve read Wheel of Time several times over the last couple decades, and so I have the same problem: how to put that kind of rich detail about places and character and costume into something without overdoing it and making it drag with too much scenery exposition? Have I put in enough? Am I edging towards too much?
I find that less is more. You can always add more later over the course of the story, but you can’t fix things if you’ve driven a reader away with plodding. You seem to be hitting a very good balance right now. We know they’re hanging out by an oasis in a desert. We can all imagine that. There are plants of some sort big enough to hide a changebug queen, but not too big or thick for that environment. We have a fair idea of what said changebugs look like, even if we try to read it from the perspective of someone who has never watched MLP or read another fanfic.
You’ve got a solid base to build on, and if you want more detail, you are set to be able to dole it out as the MC discovers and notices those details themselves, or moves into a new environment altogether. Which will give it a natural, progressive feel, rather than being forced exposition that bores people.
So, I’d say you’re doing it right.
This will be entertaining
I noticed that the Queen didn't start calling the changeling a 'he' until after they linked.
11094725
11094763
It came across to me was that the changeling really was a nobody the way it was written. Basically, giving them a purpose almost.
Either that, or the Queen had no idea what gender 'he' was until they linked, idk lol
11095340
In a way I suppose it's a bit of both, Queenie wasn't sure what to call him since she is not used to the idea of a true hermaphrodite and didn't know how to address him properly without a name, however, after the link was made and he became her first Attendant (a mostly male role in a Hive) she instinctually started referring to him as male without even really noticing.
As to him being a nobody before the link, he kind of was, in the eyes of other Changelings at least, a banished Changeling is seen as defective and most end up in a half-starved feral state and are often killed when they are noticed in a Hives territory.
im liking this more and more. i hope for more chapters!
I like this
Welcome to motherhood! It's gonna be a new and enriching experience, really builds character!
I do not regret adding this story to my tracking in the slightest.I like changeling stories and this one seems to have good worldbuilding and an intriguing direction
This is going well. Certainly holding my interest. I think I'd advise not spending too many more chapters on "how changelings work" infodumps. She still have to learn about cocoons and egg-laying and making love gel and digging hives and spitting construction resin and how to shapeshift and how to extract love from living prey and magic...there's a lot of stuff she has to learn. Obviously this story is doing well and being featured and holding everyone's interest, but please keep in mind that at some point readers are going to want some plot some progression too. You still have wiggle room. But please be aware.
11111248
Glad you're enjoying it
You're kind of right on time period, it's definitely pre banishment, but it's also pre Equestria by a few hundred or maybe even a thousand-ish years at this point in the story.
It remains to be seen how the gem fits into things. Clearly it was used, but is it still active or awaiting activation? Maybe some sort of failure? Science must be done!... When more stability is obtained.
11111328
Oh! Didn't see your reply. Word to the now informed: if you reply to a comment from the story summary page, and the comment you're replying to isn't on the latest chapter, they don't get notified about it. Gotta go into that chapter's comment section and reply from there. 😇
11111444
Ah fair, good to know for the future!
Changeling
reply
reply
Lovely lore.
11114816
Thank you, I'm glad you're enjoying the lore
Oops, my auto correct program must have cought them and changed them lol, I will sort them out once I get the new chapter done, I'm days late on that at the moment.
I gave a little shudder, "Do you know what happened to me? Is it normal? What coursed it? is it going to happen again?"
Small error (I think), is coursed supposed to be caused?
MC has plenty of time, it took the scouting party several days to fly to that lake, and unless the drones have fed unlike Coreid who was going to die by the next day, they'd be starving and die before reaching the hive, seeing how the soldiers were carrying everyone's share of rations.
So if they didn't cannibalize each other for one to at least make it back and tell about another hive, no one will ever know, it'll just be a write off to a lost scouting party
Maybe you can choose your own now.
I mean no queen around to tell you otherwise.
At least things won't get bored for them anytime soon...
This reminds me of Flowey's situation from Undertale.The whole "why are you sparing me?" At the pacifist and neutral endings
Also why he should do things the same way other queens do and the changeling race as a whole?
Why follow the same rules of the hive and warfare?
Do it in human-style by making progress, upgrades, updates, and seeking efficiency without creating drawbacks
Which switched to he?