Portal to Nowhere

by derpypony

The Portal

Portal to Nowhere

Chapter 1; The Portal

“So if my calculations are correct, I should be able to alter the teleportation spell to create a Portal. When I walk into the portal it should teleport me to Applejack's barn,” Twilight said confidently.

“But Twilight,” said Spike warily, “Are you sure that this spot won’t attract any pony’s attention? I mean… we are in the middle of Sweet Apple Acres, but what if Applejack or Big Macintosh run into it accidentally.”

“Spike, Applejack already knows about what I’m doing,” stated Twilight. “I told her about the idea, and asked her if there was a spot on the farm where I could try the spell. She brought me here because this part of the farm hasn’t had many apples in years… as well as visitors.”

“Why are we doing this again? What is the point if you can teleport yourself?”

“The Portal can transport supplies in-case of an emergency faster than a train. The Portal also needs lots of power so few unicorns are able to conjure the spell. Finally, the portal will wear off in a couple of minutes, so it is open long enough to bring supplies, but short enough so there isn't any unwanted attention.”

“O.k Twilight, but I still got a bad feeling in my stomach” said Spike.

Twilight knew that this spell was going to work. It should wear off within a few minutes or so. Her plan was to go into the portal, meet up with Applejack, then make sure no pony gets caught in the portal unexpectedly. She still needed to make a few tweaks on the portal before she is able to bring certain provisions through. So far with Twilight`s research, the Portal will be capable of bringing basic supplies such as food, wood, rope, etc. Her research was still missing a few elements for the portal to work at its full capacity before it becomes be used properly in an emergency. However it still needed to be properly tested so that living things could pass through it without leaving parts of them behind.

“O.K. Spike, stand back," as soon as Spike moved to a tree Twilight started gathering Aether. After a few seconds, there was a slight change in the wind, soon a faint greenish blue field started to appear…

“Blahhhahhh," Twilight heard from the baby dragon,
As soon as Spike made the noise there was a flash of green flame and heat. Twilight stopped the process immediately and the greenish field dispersed into the hot air of the summer day.

“Spike, are you O.K.” asked the worried mare.

“Ya, it`s only a letter from Princess Celestia.” coughed the young dragon.

“Whew” sighed Twilight, “I was worried the spell was harming you, if you got hurt I would have never forgiven myself.”

Twilight would never let spike go into danger unless she was around to protect him. She had known Spike since she hatched him from his egg, she thought he was as much her brother as Shining Armor was. Except Shining Armor was older than her... and not a fire breathing dragon.

“I’ll read the letter as soon as I finish the Portal Spike,” Twilight breathed with relief.

As soon as Twilight saw Spike step away, she saw that he was reading the letter... which was fine with her.

Twilight went through the entire process again gathering the Aether changing it into the magic to create the Portal. Soon a change in the wind occurred just like last time and a greenish blue field begun to form. Just as she finished Spike yelled out “Twilight Stop!”

x.X.x

WHAT A nice day for a flight around Ponyville Ditzy thought. Ditzy had a few more mail deliveries before she could finish her job. Getting the mail to everypony’s house in town was a fun way to get to know everypony when she first arrived. It was the only job she could find that would hire her. As she was on her last route she noticed a few balloons flying away. “Pretty Colors”, Ditzy thought out loud. As she finished her route she started to head back to the post office so she could clock out. As she was half way there she noticed she had one more letter addressed for Sweet Apple Acres.

I wonder when that got there she thought, and she started to glide towards Sweet Apple Acres. As she arrived at the letter box for the Apples, she noticed how calm the air was today, and how the orchard was a nice area to have a fly around. Besides it isn’t like the apple don’t mind about her flying around the area a little.

As she was about to make a take off, she noticed the balloons again… and the colors were starting to hurt her eyes for looking so straight at them. As Ditzy was flying out and over Sweet Apple Acres she was starting to feel a slight change in the breeze. That’s weird, she thought, the Pegasus’ weather patrol weren’t supposed to change the winds until 5:30 later tonight, or… it was another one of Rainbowdash`s super sonic Rainbooms` aftershocks. That is what it is Ditzy assumed and she shifted to follow the breeze. She had never been a good flyer; she was kicked out of flight school because of her… problem. They kicked her out because of her extropia. For those who don’t know what extropia is, it is when your eyes face two different directions. They say she was a danger to others and a danger to herself. At least her friend Rainbow Dash was a good friend to her; she left the school early with Fluttershy after the rai…

“uhh?” wondered Ditzy out loud, the wind current changed yet again.

She started to fall to the ground as she switched her position to fly with the wind. She was getting awful close to one of those trees. She need to fly higher without losing her balance, she needed to gain altitude. As she beat her wings harder to gain altitude, the wind current was acting funny again. As she positioned herself to go with the wind she didn’t get in one more good push and plummeted towards the trees.

“AGHHHHHH” screamed Ditzy.

After a few seconds of free falling she noticed she wasn’t freefalling anymore. She found herself on top of the pack of balloons that she was seeing all day. The balloons were gently descending to the ground so should wouldn’t have to worry about hitting one of the apple trees. As she calmed down she saw she was going to land near the middle of Sweet Apple Acres. Once she got to the ground she was going to get out of Sweet Apple Acres, Check out of the post office, and get something to eat because she was starting to get hungry after that scare.

Then Ditzy heard a somewhat familiar voice yell out “Twilight Stop!”

x.X.x

Pinkie Pie was coming back from Sugar Cube Corner after eating some delicious cupcakes. She LOVED cupcakes and knew they were the best treat in all of Equestria. She loved treats Mr. and Mrs. Cake made, the cakes, and cupcakes, and doughnuts, and cupcakes, and other baked goodies, and CUPCAKES. The only thing that she never liked were muffins, she always thought the looked like cupcakes and when she took a bite of one. Bluhh. Evil, Terrible, cupcake impersonators.

As she was reaching the soon to be party house that Vinyl and her were preparing, she noticed a pack of here balloons had gone missing. As she was looking around for the balloons she heard Vinyl yell out to her.

“Hey Pinkie, want to here the epic wubs of my base before this party gets started.”

“Sure, but instead of waiting for the party to start, let’s start the party NOW. WOOO!!!!” Pinkie yelled back as she raced off into town in search for party members as well as the missing balloons.

In the distance she heard Vinyl start to wub out on here bases which already attracted some ponies’ attentions. As she went into town she as well got some ponies go spread the word about the party. After about ten ponies she went off to search for the balloons. She soon saw the balloons float towards Sweet Apple Acres. As soon as she spotted where the balloons were headed Pinkie raced after the balloons to capture them.

As she arrived at Sweet Apple Acres she noticed Derpy flying over the farm. She was going to see if she can help her find her balloons, but she remembered she has bad eyes. That wouldn’t stop me though said Pinkie in her head. As she started to climb a tree, she noticed a change in the wind. Pinkie kept on climbing the tree till she reached the top of the tree, then the wind stopped. She noticed Derpy start to fall a bit the then caught herself in air almost at tree level.

Just as Pinkie was about called Derpy over about the missing balloons, she noticed the balloons to the left of her. As she reached out to get the balloons the wind changed yet again, and the balloons flew away from her almost causing her to fall out of the tree. Just then she heard Derpy’s scream as she started to free fall. Just as she hit the tree line the balloons came right under her saving her from hitting the ground. She kept on screaming then noticed she wasn’t falling anymore. As she calmed down Pinkie jumped out of the tree, and landed on the ground a bit too hard.

“Oof.” said a dazed Pinkie. She had landed on her stomach and she got back onto her feet. As she was nearing Derpy she heard spike yell out “Twilight Stop!”

x.X.x

“SPIKE, WHAT is it” quickly asked Twilight.

“I have two things to say Twilight,” As Spike started the explanation, “one is on what Princes Celestia written. She requests of you to meet her immediately on a coming danger which is supposed to arrive this fall, and two, we have guests.” Spike motioned towards Pinkie Pie and a somewhat familiar Gray Mare with bubbles for a Cutie Mark.

“Pinkie Pie what are you doing here, and who is that gray mare.” asked Twilight Questioningly.

“Oh, Hi Twilight, I am here because I was chasing after my balloons which flew away from a party me and Vinyl have made, and it is so going to super duper fantastic and everpony will love it. That is Derpy over there, and Twilight you should go to the party with as well as you Derpy. You both will love the party. Can you please come…
PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE?.?.?.?”

“I’m sorry Pinkie but I can’t come I have very important research to be doing, and Princess Celestia wants me to mee...”

“Hey Twilight, what’s up with the cool green light behind you.” said Pinkie wondering voice.

“It’s a teleportation device Pinkie and you can’t go into it yet. It is incomplete and is still in alpha testing.” Firmly Commanded Twilight

I need to keep Pinkie away from the portal especially when Derpy has those balloons with her. It could hurt her and everypony in pony the area. I must distract her and keep her away from the portal for at least ten minutes.

“Hey Derpy can I have those balloons you are holding, am going to need them for a party that’s happening right now.” asked Pinkie

As Derpy started walking towards Pinkie she said to Pinkie “O.K, but I have to clock out of the mail room befo… wup…”

OH NO thought Twilight as she saw Derpy stumble over a rock, which made her let go of the balloons. The wind current wasn’t in her favor as well, because the balloons were heading towards the PORTAL.

“Grab the balloons” yelled Spike!!!!

As Twilight jumped towards the balloons, she was able to grab them, but Pinkie grabbed hold of the balloons at the same time as Twilight which made both of them to collide with each other. Now because of the unlucky line up of Pinkie’s jump and her jump…
THEY WERE CASACADING TOWARDS THE PORTAL!!!!

OH SWEET CELESTIA NO!” cried Twilight.

Comments

[derpypony]

This is my first time writing so if there is any problems or advice you can give me on the story please do tell me.

[Evil Homer]

A few issues here, and I'll attempt to do my first bit of editing.

Red for errors
Blue for corrections
Green for notes

“SO IF MY CALCULATIONS only the first letter should be capitalised are correct, I should be able to alter the teleportation spell to create a portal. When I walk into the portal it should teleport me to Applejacks Applejack's barn.this should be a comma if you're continuing the thought ” Twilight said confidently.

“But Twilight,” said Spike warily, “Are you sure that this spot won’t attract any pony’s attention,? I mean… we are in the middle of the unnecessary Sweet Apple Acres, but what if Applejack or Big Macintosh run into it accidentally.”

“Spike, Applejack already knows about what I’m doing., again this should be a comma ” stated Twilight. “I told her about the idea, and asked her if there was a spot on the farm where I could try the spell. She brought me here because this part of the farm hasn’t had many apples in years… as well as visitors.”

“Why are we doing this again, ? what is the point if you can teleport yourself, ?”

“The portal can transport supplies in-case of an emergency faster than a train. The portal also needs lots of power so few unicorns are able to conjure the spell. Finally, the portal will wear off in a couple of minutes, so it's open just long enough to bring supplies, but short enough so there isn't any unwanted attention.”

“O.k Twilight, but I still got a bad feeling in my stomach, ” said Spike.

Twilight knew that this spell was going to work. It should wear off within a few minutes or so. Her plan was to go into the portal, and unnecessary meet up with Applejack, then make sure no pony gets caught in the portal unexpectedly. She still needed to make a few tweaks on the portal , unnecessary before she is able to bring certain provisions through the portal unnecessary, you've already used portal in the sentence. So far with Twilight`s research, the portal is was watch your tenses capable of bringing basic supplies such as food, wood, rope, and unnecessary etc. Her research was still missing a few parts elelements for the portal to work at its full potential capacity before it becomes a safe way could be used properly in an emergency. Before more complex substances are able to go through the portal Twilight still need to flex the time space continuum, and the masses of matter to pass through each other without leaving any parts of objects or any ponies behind inside the portal. You've already said that food, wood, rope and "etc" are able to pass through this and they're "complex" enough as it is. Then it devolves into some technobabble that would make a writer on Star Trek the Next Generation cringe. And is it magic or tech? Try keeping it based on one source and not two. Maybe something along the lines of:However it still needed to be properly tested so that living things could pass through it without leaving parts of them behind.

Once she is able to figure out the magic behind it, then Twilight can change her Aether power into the Portal so the complexity of matter that belong to the provisions are able to pass through the space, time continuum easily so ponies can transport simple and complex substances through the portal without the problem of a mishap. If complex materials like plastic go through the portal before the change… well… I still don’t quite know what will happen. I already know the consequences of using subspace travel to go places when I learned the teleportation spell. The difference with this type of teleportation could end Equestria as we know it. I wanted a quite area to focus in so I can test the portal. Most of this is just filler and is it supposed to be an internal monologue? If so please use the proper punctuation such as italics to indicate this.

“O.K. Spike, stand back ”, comma should be inside the quotes as soon as spike should be capitalized moved to a tree Twilight started gathering Aether. After a few seconds, there was a slight change in the wind occurred unnecessary, soon a faint greenish blue field started to appear…

“Blahhhahhh ”, comma should be inside the quotes Twilight heard from the baby dragon ,.
As soon as Spike made the noise there was followed by a flash of green flame and heat. Twilight stopped the process immediately and the greenish field dispersed into the hot air of the summer day.

“Spike, are you O.K. ?” said asked the worried mare.

“Ya, it was it's try to keep the characters talking as they normally would only a letter from Princess Celestia.,watch your punctuation ” coughed the young dragon.

“Whew ,watch your punctuation ” sighed Twilight, “I was worried the spell was harming might have harmed you ,. iIf you got hurt I would have never forgiven myself.”

Twilight would never let spike go into danger unless she was around to protect him. She had always known Spike since he was an egg. He was also like a little brother to her like Shining Armor, except he was older than her... and not a fire breathing dragon. A little clunky there.She had known Spike since she hatched him from his egg, she thought he was as much her brother as Shining Armor was. Except Shining Armor was older than her... and not a fire breathing dragon.

“I’ll read the letter as soon as I finish the portal Spike,” Twilight breathed with relief.

As soon as Twilight saw Spike step away, she saw that he was reading the letter... which was fine with her.

Twilight went through the entire process again gathering the Aether changing it into the magic to create the Portal Should not be capitalised. Soon a change in the wind occurred just as like last time and a greenish blue field begun to form. Just as she finished Spike yelled out “Twilight Stop!”