Chapter 18: Conducting Diplomacy
Celestia walked with several datapads suspended before her, scrolling at an incredibly rapid pace through all of them.
“This is astounding. Absolutely astounding.”
“Can you actually read all of that? All at once?”
Celestia smiled. “Well of course. When you love reading as much as I do but also have to rule a planet all day, you learn to read quickly.” She clicked off the datapads and stacked them neatly, giving them back to Kirk. “Simply astounding. Exactly what my dearest Twilight would find fascinating, and I'll be sure to draft her a wonderful and extensive letter about this information as soon as I can find a parchment long enough." Her wings rustled. "But for now, I think I’ve seen enough. The Federation seems like a splendid place for Equestria. I think our ideals match perfectly, at least from what I’ve seen here.”
“It is a little more--”
“Complicated? Of course it is. But to know I’m just one ruler on so many planets...It makes the game so much different. So much more exciting. I feel so much smaller.”
“Is that bad?”
Celestia laughed. “No, Jim, of course not. Joining the Federation would would be so much more responsibility, but...this gives me a different perspective. I must say I was a bit shocked when you first asked. It’s...somewhat like asking for marriage on the first date.” She paused. “You’re not married, are you?”
“No, of course not. I’ve never really found the time I suppose.”
Celestia smiled. “I know the feeling. But I understand why you asked, and what’s at stake. But I think the meeting went very well.”
Kirk frowned “Really? Because I didn’t get that feeling.”
“Call it my intuition. I’ve known Luna for two thousand years. She feels a need to seem big and strong but inside she’s very prudent and more wise than I ever was. She knows what I know, and I know she’ll make the right choice.”
“And Cadenza?”
Celestia frowned slightly. “She’s...harsh. She wasn’t always that way. She used to be such a nice loving young girl. But now she doesn’t have much left in her life except her ambition. No family, no friends apart from...well, I’m not entirely quite sure what creatures she’s in contact with, digging deeper and deeper out there. But I think she’ll make the choice that gives her the most gain. It’s Shining Armor you need to worry about.”
“But he seemed so nice.”
“He is. But he’s...more dedicated to the changelings than you would expect. I consider him like a nephew, but...”
“But what?”
“I think he’s planning on infiltrating you. Sending out changelings across the galaxy and infesting as many planets as possible. Which sounds really terrible, doesn’t it? I’m sorry, I don’t mean it like a bad thing. But they’re changelings, they infest—and I just can’t put down that shovel, can I?” She sighed. “He’s intending on spreading them. To find more love to consume.”
“Well, maybe we have love to give.”
Celestia raised a metaphorical eyebrow. “Would you love an invertebrate?”
Kirk shrugged. “To be totally honest with you? It wouldn’t be the first time.”
They approached an area where a door was opened for them, again by the gold-clad guards. Kirk sensed that they were entering a system of rooms; a specific designation of the castle for a distinct purpose. For what, he was not sure.
He found himself in a long, vaulted hall. Various maids stepped out from between the columns, and as Celestia walked between them without stopping or even slowing, the maids rapidly stripped her armor and robes, separating them and undressing her, folding the cloth and taking it away as her formal clothing was changed out for her normal crown, necklace, and shoe combination.
“That said,” she continued, without apparently noticing the mares seamlessly undressing and dressing her, “I don’t subscribe to the view that the Federation is the only ‘good-guy’. It may be a bit rude of me, but I think you’re biased.”
“Well, I am from Starfleet. Which means I see the whole thing from a Federation perspective. But I have a great deal of experience with other governments.” He paused. "And I greatly prefer the Federation."
“I think that peace in the galaxy is of course possible. The Klingons probably have their reasons for what they do, and if we can come to understand that, we might be able to make a lasting peace.”
“We? I think you’re getting ahead of yourself.”
“But am I wrong? Who knows. Maybe some day, they’ll be a Klingon officer on the Enterprise.”
Kirk chuckled. Of course that would never happen; it was absurd. But he had the context to know why, and she did not, and there was no point in saying it. “I like your optimism.”
With the maids finished, they all suddenly seemed to be in perfect formation and bowed in unison as Celestia entered the door at the end of the hallway. She gestured for Kirk to step inside, and he did. Inside was a vast space, a room with high glassless windows gazing out at the eastern sky and a floor that reflected speckling light that seemed to flow like water as he passed over it.
“Would you like some tea?”
“Tea?”
Celestia gestured to a teapot on a small counter, supported by an ornate holder.
“Oh. Sure.”
Celestia smiled, and her horn flicked. The teapot immediately started whistling, and she took the kettle to an area toward one end of the wall where she sat down at a desk. She produced several teabags and took cups from a shelf, preparing the tea telekinetically without much apparent effort.
But as she did, she removed her shoes and necklace, placing the shoes neatly beside a high shelf of books and putting the necklace on a dedicated hook. Then, finally she removed her crown and carefully set it on the desk. As she gave Kirk his tea, she shook her head, and the plasmatic effect in her mane vanished, causing the strands of silky hair to fall around her. To Kirk’s surprise, they immediately pulled up into long, wavy curls. Celestia ran her hoof through her tricolored hair, brushing it back, and sipped her own tea.
“I hope you don’t mind,” she said. “I’m normally obligated to seem...regal. But considering it’s just the two of us here, in my chambers, I hope it’s acceptable that I can be more...comfortable.”
“I don’t mind at all. Not even a little.”
“You can remove your clothing too.”
Kirk stiffened and laughed softly. “Well, I’m afraid we humans rarely do that. In public, I mean.”
“You’re not in public. You’re in here. With me.”
“Yes, but it’s usually reserved for...more intimate situations.”
“Yes. I know.”
Kirk stood silent for a moment. “Oh...”
Celestia set down her tea and leaned forward from her chair, allowing her wings to extend somewhat. “Well, you see, to put it...to phrase it in a way...I’m a mare. An adult mare, and like all mares I have...needs. Which is perfectly natural, but most of the kingdom sees me as a mother figure, and I tend to see them as my children, which makes approaching me...difficult. And approaching them...awkward. That and the implications of being an autocrat, we originally ruled as virgin goddesses because it was meant to be symbolic of our kingdom’s walls at the time, although only Luna at this point...because I...am...older?”
“Celestia...are you trying to seduce me?”
Celestia blushed severely. “I—um—I am—oh no...” She stood up. “I’m sorry. We’re too biologically different, it wouldn’t work, I’m too equine and you’re too primate, and...” Her eyes widened in horror, and she took a step back. “And you’re going to think you need to do this for my vote in the Council! Oh no, I’m coercing you! I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, this isn’t appropriate and I made it awkward, and I ruined our relationship with the first alien we’ve ever met and I’m a bad pony--”
Kirk grasped her by the back of the head and, before she could even stop talking, kissed her. She tasted strongly of vanilla and, strangely, ash. Celestia, taken by surprise, squeaked—and her wings foomfed outward to their fully erect state.
She allowed him to direct her to her bed, despite being several times his mass. When she reached it, she flopped backward, face up with her wings spread below her across the silken sheets.
“Oh my,” she said. “What are we going to do on the bed, Captain Kirk?”
Kirk did not answer, because of course they both already knew the answer. Kirk removed his shirt and joined her in bed--and proceeded to do exactly what one would expect Captain Kirk to do when faced with a tense diplomatic situation and a beautiful alien princess.
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My prediction in the first chapter was that this would happen "within 20 chapters". We JUST made it! XD
I saw the chapter title and knew exactly where this was going.
I can't decide if this is Prime-Kirk or Kelvin-Kirk....
and something went "BOOM"
Maybe, but I bet Chrysalis would say similar things about you, Tia. Namely that you are already planning to play chess with the whole galaxy.....with the most harmonious of intentions, of course
Kirk you sly dog
Kirk's gonna Kirk.
And Equestrian changelings spreading across the galaxy will make the Dominion War even more complicated.
"There's a changeling on your ship!"
"Mandible to Deep Space Nine, do you have any idea how little that narrows it down?"
11086722
Humans being humans, I expect a lot of stickers with "this mug/chair/table/etc... is not a changeling in disguise."
Obligatory bedroom diplomacy: Check!
Snarky reference to Worf: Check!
So, place your bets. Will Shining Armor break free from his mind control, and just just how much of a Blood Knight will he be afterwards?
...and just how broken up will Ocellus be once she finds out how much of her home life was a lie?
Jealous of Kirk. Bedding the Sun Goddess.
th.bing.com/th/id/R.1e97867999df2d06560822e445a4f653?rik=M%2fp4mn%2b%2fFSOVnQ&riu=http%3a%2f%2fimg2.wikia.nocookie.net%2f__cb20120621071403%2fmlpfanart%2fimages%2fc%2fc9%2fLyra_%27Oh_you%27_reaction_pic.jpg&ehk=CDBnGvh%2fcKCM663WP%2fuCglM5U9L%2f6jZLGmfJLgj38UE%3d&risl=&pid=ImgRaw&r=0
11086725
And we will even stick stickers on those!
Welcome to Ye Olde Kirk Of Kirk.
All Welcome.
Yes, Even Borg.
For real. The odds of that happening are a straight 0.0%. You'd have to have a Klingon boy living with his father who was killed in a Romulan sneak attack on their home in a remote outpost, and who was left for dead afterwards but miraculously found and adopted by two random humans who had a hobby of collecting scale-model Federation ships, who then later became temporarily ill or fell down some stairs but got better but not before their adopted boy could join Starfleet Academy so he wouldn't be a burden on them.
I mean seriously, what are the chances of that happening?
Oy vey Kirk
Oh we all know that Celestia was going to get Kirk. She was telegraphing her intentions for chapters!
i.pinimg.com/originals/d3/83/cf/d383cfe43e4927222f4d582925c95ce9.jpg
naviscrm.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/to-boldly-go-7n4nos.jpeg
well, this about sums it up...
Is Kirk's "diplomacy" just Kirk trying to be polite while Spock mentions offhandedly his proclivities within earshot of a prominent dignitary, and basically just being his wingman?
11116758 Surely it's to boldy come...
11144810
HAH¡!!
Classic Kirk.
Because Kirk gotta Kirk.
Yeah this was inevitable.
And hey, worst case, the Federation gets practice in ways to identify and combat shape shifting infiltators ahead of time, and the Dominion War goes a bit easier.