The Warp Core Conspiracy

by Unwhole Hole

Chapter 16: The Spy

There was a town. A quaint rural town, beyond the reach of the swamp and the forest. M’Ress would no doubt have found it charming by daylight were her situation less damp, cold, and fractured. Charming in the way traditional cultural villages on Earth were, in the strange way that humans liked to make things small and calm and fanciful.

At this moment, though, M’Ress was glad that the quaintness of the village had resulted in the entire population being asleep. Thus, a Caitian and a limping pony could walk through the silent, dark streets, their path lit only the the glow of the moon and the passing of fat, alien fireflies.

“Welcome to Ponyville,” groaned Rarity.

“What are we supposed to do here? I would rather hide in the woods.”

“No, you would not. It’s filthy and cold and I need to be washed. Also, apex predators.”

“I am an apex predator.”

“On your planet, sure. There are no manticores on Cait. I’ve checked.”

“Then what are we supposed to do, expect a townspony to just let us in? Perhaps you have not noticed that I’m an alien woman.”

“Who looks like an Abyssian. I live here. If anyone asks, you’re my guest, and we just had an absolutely stunning night with some excellent Sweet Apple Acres cider.”

“I need a cider.”

“Well too bad, it’s out of season, if you ask them they will not SHUT UP about 'the timing of the apples'.”

Fortunately, they did not have a need to use the flimsy excuse. No one was about, save for a purple mare who had apparently been drinking some sort of punch, to the point where M’Ress could not tell if it was her natural smell or the smell of her insides being slowly pickled in fermented fruit juices.

Rarity’s home was a storefront building toward the center of town, labeled as “Carousel Boutique”. It was a large and ornate building overall that, again, M’Ress might have found boringly charming were this a poorly-conceived vacation. Instead, she was just glad for the opportunity to dry off. As much as she disliked to admit it, she was craving a bath with an intensity that apparently matched the small white unicorn's own desire for warm cleanliness.

Rarity unlocked the door and they stepped in to find the lights on. M’Ress blinked, allowing her pupils to narrow, and found that the room was warm and scented—and that a white unicorn of great smallness was laying on one of the stylish couches, reading a book.

“Sweetie Belle! This is the WORST possible time! Why are you in my house, how did you even get in here?!”

“Um...I live here?”

“You most certainly do not! I am NOT your mother, and I most certainly did NOT squeeze you out, I would have remembered it!”

The tiny unicorn seemed confused. “Squeezed me out…of what?”

“Of...an egg. You were born from an egg.”

“Is that...true?”

“Yes. You can go ask Scootaloo.”

“Chicken jokes are mean, Rarity.” The tiny pony stood up and looked at M’Ress. She frowned, looking surprised, and then grimaced. “Dang, Rarity, I knew you were into kinky stuff but this? This...disturbs me. I mean, furries?”

“What do you mean ‘kinky’? What are you talking about? Who have you been talking to!? Where did you hear that, it’s lies, all of it!”

“Says the mare with a furry. In a really, really tight...leotard, maybe?.”

“And if you tell mother and father, I’ll tell them that YOU know what little orange wings taste like.”

Sweetie Belle blushed. “That was one time, and you promised!”

“And now you just promised. Now get out of my house!”

“But--”

Rarity levitated her sister and lobbed her through an open window. “OUT!”

She slammed the window, closed it, and latched the lock.

“Did you just...throw a child out a window?”

“Certainly not. It was a simple toss, she'll be fine.” Rarity limped up her staircase, and M’Ress followed. When Rarity got to the next floor, she immediately started to disrobe, pausing to carefully fold her soiled uniform and place it on an assigned set of hangers to prepare it for wash. As she removed her clothing, M’Ress saw that her body was breaking out in orange spots beneath.

Rarity noticed this well, and sighed. She crossed the room to an ornate jewelry box and pulled out a drawer, reaching under it with her telekinesis and pulling out an object from a hidden compartment. A hypospray. She held it to her neck and pulled the trigger, wincing as it hissed.

“What is that?”

“An antidote for the swamp fever. Amphotericin.” She put it down on her dresser. “You do not need to worry, though. It is very specific to pony biology, you ought to be immune.”

“Ought to?”

Rarity shrugged. “Well then let us hope you are not allergic to amphotericin, I suppose.”

She removed the ornate holster holding her disrupted and set it down. The spots on her body were already starting to fade. As the weapon touched the floor, she paused, and then sighed.

“Stop being difficult.”

M’Ress, her phase pointed at the back of Rarity’s head, did not falter. “How do you know what you know?”

“That is a very vague question, darling.”

“I am no one’s ‘darling’. Answer the question.”

Rarity turned. M’Ress redirected the pistol, pointing it at the pony’s nose.

“It’s not on stun,” she warned.

“Nor would you fire it. Because Starfleet has effectively if metaphorically neutered you with their own distorted version of ‘morality’. Still, though, it is VERY rude. I invited you into my home, was going to let you use my bath, because you certainly need it--”

“WHY. Why do you know I am Caitian? Why do you have that disruptor?”

“I feel no need to answer. You won’t fire. Nor could you.”

“I am an apex predator. I can. I will. If I need to.”

“No. I mean literally. You see, that’s a defect with the type-II model. It has a mechanical trigger. And I’m holding it open. With almost trivial effort, mind you. Although I would rather not. After tonight, close concentration is very taxing.”

Confused, M’Ress attempted to pull the trigger—only to find that it was firmly stuck in the open position. The pony was using her telekinesis. M’Ress might have been able to overcome it with force, but she had no intention of actually shooting.

She set the phaser down. “We have to hurry. They saw my face. They know who I am. They will send police, or the military. There will be--”

“An investigation? Ha!” Rarity laughed. “No, dear. There most certainly will not.”

“We just raided one of the premier high-technology firms on your planet. Why would there not be an investigation?”

“Because, darling, if they came to investigate us, they would be themselves investigated. A contingent of Royal Guards. Maybe even a Lunar Inquisition. And I assure you they would be thorough. And I also assure you, my dear, that an investigation like that is the LAST thing that Twilight wants.”

M’Ress frowned. “Because you know that they are up to something.”

“No, clearly not,” sighed Rarity, rolling her eyes. “Considering the weeks of planning I put into infiltrating their facility.” She turned, flipping her tail, and began to collect some towels. She threw one to M’Ress. “I was intending to attend the staff meeting and then seduce those oddly handsome twins to get into the main tower.”

“You uncovered oddly quickly for all that planning.”

“I had assumed that their absurd clothing rule was a SUGGESTION! Forgive me for not realizing how absolutely anal they are about a rule that represents the very antithesis of my being!” She turned sharply. “As if crawling through the vents was any better!”

“I was unseen.” M’Ress knew that was a lie. She was of course seen when she jumped out—but also seen before. But not by Flim and Flam. Only by the hologram. By Twilight.

“Your should have been able to infiltrate with ease. You are the one with the friend running the company.”

“That, my dear, is what is called a LIE. Of course I don’t know Twilight Sparkle, why would I know Twilight Sparkle? Nopony knows Twilight Sparkle. Why would the Princess’s personal protege ever come to Ponyville?" She snapped, but then sighed again. "But I do know that you not only ruined EVERYTHING, but you saved me. And you put your surprisingly well pedicured foot into a pile of distressingly unpleasant filth much far deeper than you could possibly imagine.”

“Yes. I can tell that. But that’s my job.”

Rarity sighed. “I know.” She pointed to the bathtub. “You can go first. Take as long as you need. I’m afraid I don’t have a robe your size, but you would hardly be the first naked Caitian I’ve seen.”

M'Ress frowned. “What about you?”

“The drug I used has disturbingly horrific effects on the pony anatomy. To the point where some individuals are driven into a rage that causes them to literally vomit their skulls.”

"The amphotericin?"

"No, darling, obviously not. The other drug."

“How disturbing. Although...I somewhat want to bear witness to this event. Out of curiosity.”

“Curiosity is something you seem to specialize in, my dear. And unfortunately we both know what it does to cats.” She stepped forward, wrapping her magic around M’Ress’s shoulder and suddenly pulling it forward to relocate it with an agonizing snap. “And we all know what curiosity does to the feline anatomy.” She sighed. “Regardless. I need to be unconscious now.”

And with that, she flopped to her side and onto the ground. M’Ress was barely able to grab her before carefully laying her on her side. Rarity was still breathing, but certainly asleep.

M’Ress flexed her arm. It hurt badly, but the pony's abrupt technique had worked. And she decided that, since the pony was generous enough to give her permission, she would let her sleep for at least a few hours during the ensuing bath.

Which, she hoped, would calm her down. Although the pony was right. This had all grown so much more confusing—and, she knew, so much more dangerous.

Author's Note:

Amphotericin is a real substance. It is yellow.

Whether or not ponys come from eggs is in dispute. Spores are also a possibility. Some say their reproduction has never been witnessed.

This chapter is small, and somewhat meant to be an add-on to the last chapter. The last chapter was simply too large to apply both at once. Therefore, I might add it with another chapter.

Comments

[Bojack H]

Rarity levitated her sister and lobbed her through an open window. “OUT!”

2-fast-2-funny

[KeePony]

Defenerstrating your sister? How gouche Rarity.

[ZanyZapper]

Yeetie Belle!

[Seraphem]

This...disturbs me. I mean, furries?”

Why would that be a term when ponies themselves have fur? Trying too hard for the joke again story.

That said, tossing Sweetie Belle out the window... that was funny, especially the reaction. And
Don't worry, by now it's clear that the CMC are damn near indestructible.

So, Rarity very clearly has off work contacts, odds are best she is working with those Klingons in orbit, though why is still a mystery, as to why the Klingons would use subterfuge like this. So far the way they are acting feels more like Romulan SOP. Then again.... they only think it's the Klingons because of the ship, and we know because of budget saving issues making them reuse existing models the treaty where they got Klingon ships to figure out better warp drives and have them cloking tech... that could actually be Romulans.