Twilight's Spontaneous Day

Only Spike stands in the way of disaster when Rainbow Dash accuses Twilight Sparkle of lacking spontaneity.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 9 )

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RaptorCalloftheShadows

RaptorCalloftheShadows #1 · Sep 10th, 2012 · 1 · ·

So, first item on the list is not making a list.

....

HURK!
(Brain) No. NO. Fuck this shit. You're on your own! *stomps off with luggage to vacation in Maui*
(Me) *empty vacant expression and droool*

Hazy Answer

Hazy Answer #2 · Sep 10th, 2012 · · ·

Seems to me you could add more chapters to this. Funny as it is already, actually having a chapter in which Twilight notices the paradox would be even better.

Oneyearwarpilot

Oneyearwarpilot #3 · Sep 10th, 2012 · 1 · ·

1252718 Dont worry we have been there.

Plonq

Plonq #4 · Sep 10th, 2012 · · ·

1252847
My original plan was to make this a full-length story, but it kept trying to turn into a variant on Lesson Zero as I fleshed it out in my head. I am going to leave it as a short slice-of-life for now, but I may revisit it down the road.

TheLastBrunnenG

TheLastBrunnenG #5 · Sep 10th, 2012 · 1 · ·

Nicely done! This is the perfect length for a slice-of-life story. The mark of good writing: I can picture the characters doing exactly what's described, and I can hear them speaking their lines in their canon voices, and there's never a time when it breaks the immersion. Good (short) job!

Best line: "look at me being spontaneous. It's right here on the list."

Couple of minor corrections:

Should I call somebody? = should probably be somepony, though that's up for discussion.

"But what it she's right?" = should be "if".

Plonq

Plonq #6 · Sep 10th, 2012 · · ·

1253174
should be "if".
... and now it is - thank you.
I debated over somebody/somepony at the time, and decided to go with the former because it was Spike delivering the line.

Hazy Answer