• Member Since 28th Aug, 2018
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Goldminer23


Just an Autistic Brony with nothing better to do but read MLP fan fics and make a bookshelf of good stories for everyone to read and is willing to help edit stories.

T

Nobody knows what went through Scootaloo’s Absentia’s mind for those twenty years she was abandoned in the main theater room. Well, only she truly knows, but perhaps it was always meant to be. Until now, that is. Enter if you dare to discover the dark secrets that have been hidden for so long.

So this is my entry into the Rainbow Factory Contest hosted by AuroraDawn themselves. It probably won’t win but what the heck, there’s a chance.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 10 )

Thank you for your entry! We look forward to reading it, and best of luck.

They finally gave me something to liven up the room. Granted it was a poster advertising the upper factory,

:rainbowlaugh: I wonder at whom this poster is targeted at

“project prototype.”

SHATTER THE FLESH
REINFORCE THE BONE

An idea for this fic was definatelly interesting, from the perspective of my headcannon Scoots hang there for the twenty years broken only by the ocassional walk. Her working for the CWC is something I would have never thought of.

Great job mate on the fic, it gives me a new perspective on Scoots whereabouts

10967150
Well I’m glad that you like it, I personally see this as a barely comprehensible dumpster fire, and I’m glad you also know the reference. Fun fact, most of the major outlines of this story were written in the 48 hours immediately after I saw the announcement of the contest. Another Fun fact, that reference was a last minute addition that just popped into my head as I was listening to my SoundCloud playlist. I had another idea that was about that project in a fic I started back in 2018 when I had some ideas bouncing around in my head, but who knows, now that I actually posted this, maybe I’ll get back to working on that one.

I liked it.

10968234
What did you like? The idea in general or the story?

10968332
The general idea of how Scootaloo is feeling through the years and the idea of her improving everything. New twist.

10968536
Well thanks, I read the profiles and saw that it said that Scootaloo had high marks in mechanical skills, and since it’s vague enough, it just kinda worked it’s way into my head.

10968540
That's the beauty of fanfiction.

Absolutely amazing! From a first time writer to another, I'd say you nailed it with this story! The thrilling tone of the atmosphere made me uneasy for Scoot's fate throughout the first half. I really like how you did the initial buildup with Rainbow being a looming presence weighting over Scootaloo's head rather than physically showing up as the villain for the first half, it ramped up my expectations of her for the few times she is present in the latter half. The story's structure also reminds me of diary entries or quick mental notes that Scoots made in her journey throughout the years. Whether intentional or not, the touch of them shortening in length as she looses her sanity is a nice addition. As for Scootaloo herself, you might have made my favorite version of her. A grieving, yet mechanically resourceful character who is constantly trying to push herself and the plot forward. The focus on her work being a coping mechanism for not just her boredom, but her fear of the future is relatable as well. And finally, despite all hope being lost in the beginning, she tried over and over to escape. Even when she did lose herself, she tried to reclaim what she was. Relentless is an accurate word for her. My only major criticism with the whole thing is that certain parts are lacking description. While I didn't encounter this often, when I did, it made me have to stop and fill in the blanks. Like the chains Scoots is put in later on. That scene would have been so much more effective if a comment on how restrictive they are, or a contrast from Scoot's restricted feeling to a free pegasus in the wind, would have driven the nail in the coffin for the reader's emotions. I haven't read anywhere near all of the entries for the contest, nor do I have the authority to judge, but this one would get my nomination for sure. You did a lot with a short word count, thus proving size isn't all that matters in storytelling. It is never about how much time you have, but rather what you choose to do in that time.

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