Rain - Fimfiction

Rain

Most ponies prefer sunshine and clear skies. And that's perfectly reasonable. But my favourite weather is rainy.

You might disagree, or you might agree, but no matter what, you at least ought to know why.

So, here's why.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 11 )

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TCC56

TCC56 #1 · Jul 25th, 2021 · 5 · ·

A wonderful little first story.

Jade_Luster

Jade_Luster #2 · Jul 25th, 2021 · 3 · ·

I think it has quite great description which succeeds in telling us the inner feelings of the character.
Great work!

dashie04

dashie04 #3 · Jul 25th, 2021 · 5 · ·

For a first story, this is really damn good. It’s also interesting to see that it’s somehow exactly a thousand words, which honestly probably took a lot of thinking and/or planning.

I really like how you made Pinkie Pie be the one that loves the rain, as that’s an unusual take on her character.

There’s not really much to criticize here, it’s a well-written, pretty one-shot.

FrostyPony17

FrostyPony17 #4 · Jul 25th, 2021 · 5 · ·

Congrats on getting the front page with your first story, that's quite an achievement!

Mornings Dew

Mornings Dew #5 · Jul 25th, 2021 · 3 · ·

Wow!

This is amazing work! It's so simple, yet very impactful. That combination is sometimes hard to put on paper. It's like you chose the best words to describe this less seen side of Ponk, and laid them out perfectly.

Awesome horse words!

TheFlint44

TheFlint44 #6 · Jul 27th, 2021 · 3 · ·

Not bad, really, but probably you should pay more attention to your punctuations. You seemed used too much periods and some of them should actually be commas.

Still a nice work; keep it up!

WannaBeLaika

WannaBeLaika #7 · Jul 29th, 2021 · 2 · ·

10913576
Glad you liked it!
10913140
Thank you, this means a lot to me!
10913823
Aww! Thank you!
10913712
I'm new to fimfic, so hearing this about my first story is really heartwarming! also, I didn't purposely make it exactly 1,000 words, that was a coincidence (okay, so I edited out like, one word to silence my inner OCD).
10914157
Thanks, this took only twenty minutes, but after reading all these positive comments, I feel so proud! Thank you, again, this makes me feel so warm and fuzzy! You are awesome!
10916046
If you can point out anywhere that you see a change that I could make, that would be great. Thanks for bringing this to my attention, I will see what I can find and try to edit it (if I can pick my lazy fat butt up long enough to do it).

Mornings Dew

Mornings Dew #8 · Jul 30th, 2021 · 2 · ·

10919509

I'm new to fimfic, so hearing this about my first story is really heartwarming!

I'm sure you'll fit right in!

You are awesome!

Thanks! You are, too!

TheFlint44

TheFlint44 #9 · Jul 30th, 2021 · · ·

10919509
Generally it's fine, but the most obvious part is the ending part if you ask me:

I ran home to tell my family. I threw a surprise party. They loved it. They were happy for me. Happy for my effort. Happy I was happy. So very happy. They all smiled the first time that day too.

Everypony else finds the rain unpleasant or sad. But I find it happy. It reminds me of my family. Our happiness. Not just the rain. It isn’t the rain that I love most. True, I love it more than anyone, and I find it beautiful and inspiring. But it’s what comes after.
The rainbow.

You seem really love short sentences , which is okay, but probably you shouldn't divide one sentence into several ones. And you should have used a dash in the end to indicate the sentence is not finished yet.