Terms and Conditions Do Not Apply

by Waifu Stealer

Terms and Conditions Do Not Apply

Aaahhh! Stop walking! Please!

"Please-ah! Shut up! Ohhh myyy fuuu..." She whimpered in agony as she took one hoof step after another.

It was her first day on the job. Proud to have found work after so long, she went all out. A terrible mistake on her part. Now she slightly regrets not planning an alternate way back home other than flying.

Work has taken a toll on her the entire duration and now that she's free, the aches and pains seem to have amplified. Especially when flying. She couldn't even fly straight.

Not wanting to risk an accident of sorts she decided to stay grounded for now. Being on the ground was a little easier on her.

Not by much though.

Please find a spot to rest! I don't know how much of this I can take!

"Where though?" She mutters.

Slowly trotting through the rather empty streets, she looked around for a place to rest. There wasn't a place she could see that would give you a chance to take a breather. She refused the urge to collapse in the middle or even off to the side of the street to take a break.

Not finding anything, she marched on.

Still looking around the neighborhood for a spot to get some rest she spotted a couple fillies who were outside on a seesaw giggling with each other.

She stops to admire the scene. To her, it was heartwarming seeing their joy and innocence unspoiled by the burdens of adulthood. It almost made the burning pain fade away for a moment.

Your eyes start to water.

Hey, hey! Focus on getting home first. Then you can cry about your lost childhood.

Looking away, she tried to find other interesting spots while trotting by but there really wasn't anything worth looking at.

A couple trees across the street, some trash cans further down, an old building…

"Wait a minute, what is that?" She ask herself.

There seemed to be a terminal within the old building.

Huh...is that an ATM? It looks so old!

"I know right? It looks so ancient!"

You really need to cut that habit of talking with yourself. Ponies will look at you weird.

The ATM was built into the building. It was rather rusty given the paint was chipping off in large clusters. Speaking of the paint, why was it colored lavender of all colors? It didn't look right.

Whoever thought to use that color definitely needs to get their eyes checked. That should not be an ATM's color.

She approached the old relic for some reason. It's as if it were calling for her.

Should you even try to use it? Were you not heading home just now?

Oh yeah! We totally want to walk all the way home! What pegasus wouldn't?

"Please just shut up and just let me think!" You mutter under your breath.

She approached the archaic looking ATM. She doesn't have any bits on her.

That's why I have a job now! Yay me!

But she does have a bank card.

She could try using the ATM and extract bits to take the train home instead. It wasn't too far from where she was.

Huh, not a bad idea actually. Let's try it!

Glancing around one last time she sat down and pressed a random button on the keypad to wake it up.

It wasn't turning on.

It doesn't work. Damn!

Letting out a sad sigh she was about to get up…

Welcome!

"Huh, what?" She looked back to the ATM. It's awake!

Please enter your PIN!

Yay!

"Oh thank you! Alright alright umm…"

She entered her pin and pressed enter.

Please wait!

And so she waited.

And waited.

This was taking a bit too long.

Slowly she began to get impatient by the long waiting time. She raised a hoof to press a random button in case it froze or something but hesitated given she wasn't sure if that would cause it to reset or something.

Setting her hoof down, she tried waiting again.

Please wait!

Slowly getting agitated by the second. She didn't think she was gonna wait this long for spare change. She almost wanted to lash out and smack the ATM.

Bang

"Ughhhh hurry the fuuUuUck up already!" She screeched.

The old ATM didn't budge. The old piece of scrap metal mocked her pitiful existence. She could feel it! She felt her anger rising.

And it wasn't because of that awful voice crack.

"Come on! Why did you freeze? You were working earlier!" She said as she began to smack the ATM repeatedly.

I don't know. Try waiting maybe?

Please wait!

"Ughhhh but I'm so tired! I don't wanna end up passing out on the streets!"

She finally stopped her assault on the ATM and settled to wait again.

She began to fidget as the waiting dragged on.

Fidgeting turned to impatient hoof tapping.

Slowly her hoof tapping began to turn to rhythmic beats. She began to nod her head to the beat. For some reason, she felt a sudden urge to...sing?

🎶Ooohhh baby I'm just waiting for yOoOoouuuu!🎶

You were pretty much lost in your own little world. Not even aware enough to acknowledge your glass breaking voice crack.

Not even realizing what was going on in front of you, the ATM's screen flickered wildly in response. As if that awful singing was annoy it.

Further back, the fillies outside immediately ran back inside wondering what that awful screeching noise was. Did the Wendigos make a comeback?

Turning the corner, two ponies trotted in your general direction until one of them heard that awful sound.

"Ack! What the…!" The pony collapsed and covered her sensitive ears. What was making that terrible sound so early in the morning?

Noticing her friend was lucky enough to not hear it due to her headphones, continuing trotting on.

"Hey! Wait for meee!" She shouted as she got back up and ran after her friend.

🎶Still waiting for youuuu...🎶

Your musical number came to a sudden conclusion. It kinda just died out. Shame. You were just about to start dancing.

Still feeling tired after that. You sat back down and looked at the ATM.

Please wait!

"W-what? How, how, how…?!" With a crazed look in your eyes, you get up and begin grabbing the sides of the ATM and attempt to shake it.

The ATM didn't budge.

"Please just spit some bits out already! I'm begging you! I've been waiting here for so long! I just wanna go home!"

Please wait!

"Ughhhh! FUUUU-"

You smashed a hoof against the keypad. It didn't do anything.

"I am going to-"

You punch the screen in anger. It didn't break.

"Shove this hoof-"

You turned around and were about to buck it.

"So far up your-

Depositing bits!

Suddenly an influx of bits, more than you had requested, had spewed out.

Or rather, shot out.

"Hey, the fu- OW!"

Several bits hit you at supersonic speed as you were about to buck the ATM.

You end up losing your balance. You fell face flat onto the floor as the bits shot at your flanks and vulnerable underside.

Bits pelted your bits.

That is definitely gonna leave a mark.

You curled up and attempted to shield yourself with your tail. Too tired to even make a run for it.

For what seemed like an eternity, you kept getting hit with so many bits you thought you were gonna die. It was almost embarrassing.

Pelted to death by bits.

Not to mention sexually assaulted by an ATM machine.

You're almost certain the ATM took your virginity.

Finally the ATM stopped shooting it's golden ammunition.

Click

Have a great day!

The ATM turns off.

You lie there curled up in the fetal position, whining in pain.

You then dragged a hoof and reached for your bits.

"Ha! I win bitch!"