- Member Since 16th Jul, 2020
- offline last seen February 4th
Sonia Star Song
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Sonia Star Song
Joined 16th Jul, 2020 ·
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Well I request that it be continued. I want to see the aftermath and consequences o Rainbow and what she and the others drove Fluttershy to doing.
10796532
What they drove Fluttershy to do?
From what we see, Dash comes to confess to Fluttershy, and four years pass with Fluttershy staying with Dash, willingly, while Dash still has something to do with Soarin - which is hard to avoid with Soarin being her daughter's father, and which Fluttershy knows about happening, so it's not something going on behind her back again.
Then Fluttershy attempts to murder Dash's daughter, a filly who has lived with Fluttershy as her other Mommy for her entire life.
After that point, "they" don't drive Fluttershy to anything. What? Dash should stay with her after that? Soarin should be deeply apologetic and talking about how she's the victim, not his own child?
From how it reads, the reason Dash stayed with Fluttershy was to keep Fluttershy - who tried to murder their foal - from taking custody of the foal she tried to kill.
Fluttershy's choices, starting with Act Two, are entirely hers, and entirely spiral out from the consequences of her actions.
Dash betrayed her element first, yes.
But Fluttershy threw herself wholeheartedly into the betrayal of her own - against a filly who loved and trusted her.
My sympathies are... limited.
10797026
I'm not justifying what Fluttershy did, but Dash knew what she was doing was hurting Fluttershy, there no dam excuse so what Soaring the father..SO WHAT?!
Does that make it right, no way!
Fluttershy is raising the child not that asswipe, she and Dash were raising the child and Dash has no right to continuing seeing him.
all that did was drive Fluttershy to the point she made such a terrible choice, one she choose to do, but Dash's extra actions didn't help.
that grinding Salt into the wounds.
The rest is Fluttershy';s choice, and the aftermath is terrible one where everyone except that filly is at fault.
Now Dash has to live with what happened, and her child will one day find out.
10797476
What I'm not clear on is how she was seeing him up until Flutters snaps - Fluttershy seems to be assuming that the affair is ongoing at that point, but we don't know that. For all we know, she's "going to see him" as part and parcel of working out custody and visitation, other legal wrangling that's largely necessary - we are very clearly dealing with an unreliable narrator at best after Act One.
Yes, Dash is a jerk. So is Soarin. But even in the worst possible interpretation, Fluttershy is spending four years with nothing keeping her attached to Dash but... what? A sick, masochistic inability to tell Dash to GTFO if she isn't going to end it with Soarin?
Is Dash willing to end it, but Flutters isn't? We don't know. Is Dash insisting that they keep up appearances and refusing to let Flutters go? If so, how?
Dash is, by all appearances, an asshole - but not a malignant narcissist. Not abusive, except in the passive-aggressive way that cheaters are by definition. All we get is Flutters being heartbroken, Dash's off-screen confession, and then a jump to four years later that means Fluttershy decided to stick around even after everyone knew what was going on.
Which means that for four years, evidently, Fluttershy let Dash think that whatever "new normal" is, it's okay.
They might have filled up the tank and given Flutters the keys, but she's the one who didn't get out of the driver's seat before running into the side of a store. And that's on her as much as - if not more than - Dash, and certainly than on Soarin, after four years, without anything to indicate that she didn't willingly decide to accept the new situation that apparently includes Dash having nothing to hide from her.
10796532
Haha, I’m glad you think it deserves one! Though the main reason I decided no continuation is that, well, Judging by the like to dislike ratio, it seems not a lot of others liked it. Not sure if it’s because I’m not a very skilled writer (still learning) or because Shy died.
Oh well! Can’t win them all, I’ll try and update this post as much as possible in the future for better clearance though so keep an eye on that!
10797505
Hear you loud and clear, and yes, I know there is a bit of vague detail throughout the story as I read through it, again. I’m still learning the ways of the writer and really do have a passion for writing I just need to improve.
If you have any clear feedback as to what could be improved I’d love to hear it though! I’ll also try and see what I can do about that part where it’s not clear what Dash is doing over at Soarins place. I kind of see what you’re pointing out.
To those who have issues with it: this story is pretty dang good for someone who hasn't got a lot of writing experience. Sure there's room for improvement, but honestly that rule applies even to the most expert authors.
Good work Sonia! Keep it up!
10803600
Ah I’m so glad someone said this!
I’m MORE then aware I’m not the best writer let alone at intermediate. I’m a very low beginner but I’m definitely trying!
For those who dislike the story I would rather you leave a comment explaining what was wrong about it, and if you just didn’t like Fluttershy dying...
Then whoops, sorry!
Loved it.