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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I...don't quite understand the ending of this chapter. Was that supposed to be deep or...no?
Maybe I'm warbling too hard. XD
Still loved it ya epic writer of griffons you!
11328156
It's not meant to be deep. There is even a bit of a joke with Gia being so greedy. It's just meant to show off their magic at work. That there's a reason for their traditions. The way the northerners live is pretty much a consequence of the Windigos controlling the north and the way The Harpy believes adversities must be dealt with.
The chapter itself is meant to be a bit solemn. Gilda is feeling. It was meant to include a conversation with Gil with why she was so weird, but I decided to leave it to next chapter. It would get in the way. And it is also meant to give the caravan guards those fancy new weapons.
An I'm happy you loved it.
11328156
I assumed you meant the final conversation about the swords being gone. But did you mean something else? The song? The ceremony? Gilda's feelings? The pendant? Anything specific?
Yeah, that final exchange, mostly the last four or five paragraphs feel real weird. What is Gilda even saying yes to? Both times actually, it feels like she's hearing a different conversation than what's actually happening.
11329244
Yes. Roger that. I see what you mean.
When I was on the final draft I wondered if that part even was necessary. It was meant to show that the weapons, which should not have been destroyed by the fire were indeed gone. As were the pieces of armor. Well, Gia is cynical over the whole afterlife journey, so she would consider destroying the weapons asinine. The ending was meant to illustrate there is a magic at work. Their traditions and beliefs have a reason to be. As in, the ceremony does send the weapons to their fallen brethren so that they can fight their way to the Stormy Eyrie.
I should've gone with my gut and not included the final conversation. Or at least made it less strange. I'm gonna fix that.
Thank you.
11329289
That idea is cool and mostly comes across fine, it's just Gilda's answers feel like she is developing alzheimers at that final bit. Either the wording of the others needs to change, Gilda's exact answers needs to change or some combination of both.
The real shock comes since this sort of grammatical error hasn't really happened before now. I'm sure there are small things that have slipper past, but nothing like this, where it feels like my brain cracks and after rereading that bit it still feels weird, even if the idea itself mostly comes across fine.
Other than this, great work on the story so far, hope you manage to keep it going til the end!
Considering they like to diet on molting dragons, feeding the damned thing might be... problematic.
At the very least, it should be entertaining when Lady Gwendolen finally sees what present the kitchick loremaster swordmaiden will be bringing to her Momma-Harpy
Gilda: "Ignore me, when I'm calling for your help, bitch!? I'll! Show! You! "
11360619
Fortunately, these rocs are just big birbs.
And she's already feeling guilty over what she did to Gilda.