• Published 12th Jan 2021
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That One Time: Celestia and Luna Married the Mane Six - TheCrimsonDM

Have you ever gotten so drunk you forgot you offered the princesses' hoof in marriage to whoever brought your sister back? And how many 'es' there are in 'Princess'?

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Chapter Three: When Princesses Dream of Love

Chapter Three: When Princesses Dream of Love

Written by TheCrimsonDM

There Twilight was on the most lavish, massive bed. Soft and cozy with a sea of red blanket all around her. Twilight moved her lips to ask what she was doing here or where she was only to find her mind not able to latch onto the question strong enough to actually vocalize it. The bed sunk in next to her and she saw a massive dark blue form. A wing fell over her back pulling her close into a warm, almost hot embrace. Looking up from the cover of the wing she saw Luna’s face looking down at her. Slowly the face moved closer to hers. No words were spoken, none were needed as she made her intention clear soon enough with her lips pressing against Twilight’s.

Hot fire raced through Twilight’s face but she couldn’t fight it. A tongue slipped into her mouth, hot, huge, almost choking. Behind her she felt something wet run up against the fur on her flank. Luna let go of Twilight so she could swing her head back to see Celestia there, her tongue licking Twilight’s cutie mark with a glazed look in her eyes.

What in Equestria was going on? Why did Luna kiss her like that? Why was Celestia licking her there? Twilight couldn’t figure it out. This felt familiar. Almost like she’d done this many, many times before. Her mind snapped onto the idea. She was asleep.

Twilight’s eyes opened and she stared up at the wooden ceiling of her tree house. She was on her bed, alone, those weird thoughts from the dream running through her mind. Why was she thinking about something so… weird. She shook her head and pushed herself up. These were not her normal dreams and she was starting to get concerned about them. They were so strange, so inappropriate that she couldn’t very well bring them up to any of her friends. What would they say if they found out she had such disgusting ideas, about her fellow princesses none the less? And why two of them? She could understand if it was just Celestia but why Luna?

The worst part was when she checked her bed, she realized she needed to take a bath and clean her sheets… again. Well at least it gave her a reason to clean herself, it wasn’t exactly unknown for her to go a few days without bathing, especially if she was in the middle of an important study. Of which she needed to find one, immediately before her mind dared focus too much on the dream she just woke from.

After cleaning herself, and her bed, she made her way downstairs to the kitchen where Spike was sitting at the table eating a pancake. There was a nice stack of them in the middle of the table and plenty of syrup left for them too. Grabbing herself a nice small stack of them was just what she needed after such an interruption to her normal perfect and scheduled life. She partially wondered if she could ask Luna to cancel her dreams somehow, if these were going to persist she would have to do something.

Spike was giving her a sly grin. “So… how’d you sleep?”

“Awful… again.”

“Oh come on, being molested by the two princesses can’t be that bad.”

“Why don’t you try having these dreams then and tell me if you like them.”

“I probably would.”

Twilight glared at him and jabbed a fork into the pancake pulling a nice meaty chunk out and stuffing it into her mouth. “Why am I having weird dreams?”

“You’re probably in heat and need to take care of some of that frustration.”

Twilight stared at him. “If you mean pleasuring myself, Spike, I’ll have you know I have a scheduled time for that and it had not solved the issue. Being in heat is also something I can deal with using an assortment of spells to minimize the effects.”

“Maybe you should marry Celestia already and get it over with. I’m sure she’d be willing to do some of that stuff with you.”

Twilight gagged on her next bite of food almost spitting it back out before managing to swallow it. “SPIKE! I… you… how could………. Ugh!”

“Hey, she might even let you have a threesome with her and Luna?”

Twilight stared at him. “A threesome? A three of some what?”

Spike closed his eyes. “Right, super virgin over here… you know what, just tell Celestia about your dream and I’m sure she’ll show you.”

“I am not ever going to tell her about these dreams. Even when we do get married and she wants to do the um… the um… naughty stuff… I won’t tell her. It’s like anytime somepony tells me of them fantasizing about my brother. It’s gross.”

Spike laughed. “Sure, sure. And those recurring dreams have absolutely no meaning whatsoever. You’re not secretly wanting to bed Celestia or anything.”

“Precisely. Not that I even really know what most of what’s going on in those dreams are… it’s just all weird.”

“You really don’t want to do that with Celestia?”

“Well… m-maybe the kissing… a little.”

Spike raised an eyebrow. “And nothing else?”

“I...” Twilight’s ears folded back and she lowered her head a little. “I wouldn’t even know what to do, Spike. She’d probably be disappointed in me.”

“You could ask your friends to help you with that you know.”

Twilight glared at him. “You’re not helping.”

“So let me get this straight; you don’t want to do anything about this, you just want to have these weird dreams until the day you die.”

Twilight felt her heart sinking. “No…”

Spike rolled his eyes. “Tell you what, how about I just get a mare mag for you, and you can learn through study instead of practice, like you always do.”

“A mare mag?”

Spike grinned devilishly. “Oh… I think you’ll like them.”

“R-really? And they’ll help me?”

“Sure.” He hopped down from his chair and began walking off. “I’ll bring one back for you.”

Twilight stared after him. “Where are you going?”

“Big Mac’s.”

“Could you ask Rarity to come here on your way? I might have some um, questions for her.”

Spike shrugged. “Want me to bring the others as well?”

“Why would you do that?”

Spike looked back at her. “Because all of you are having the same weird dreams about Celestia and Luna, especially Luna.”

Twilight stood up leaning her forelegs on the table. “All of us! Even Fluttershy?”


Twilight bit her lower lip. “It makes so much sense now. It’s some kind of plot.”

“I’ll say.”

“Then you agree with me! There is a plot a hoof. A big plot!”

Spike giggled. “A big nasty plot, right in your face.”

“YES!” twilight thought about it. It was so strange for them to all be having dreams like this. Especially Fluttershy. “I mean, I don’t think Fluttershy has any weird dreams unless they involve animals.”

Spike looked back at her. “Did your really just say that?”

“Yes, Fluttershy has weird dreams about animals. Usually touching her. Why?”

Spike laughed. “Okay, fine enough with me. She seems lonely enough.”

“Spike, tell the others that our dreams are being tainted. There is magical taint in our dreams, and a nasty big plot as well!”

Spike laughed even harder. “Magical, taint!”

“Yes, and it is rubbing off on all of us!”

Spike walked away laughing even harder than before. He could jest all he wanted about this but clearly there was magic ahoof and Twilight was going to find out whose plot this was and stop it even if it meant burying her muzzle into it to find the answers. Somepony or something was influencing their dreams.

She listened to the door closing behind him. Maybe he was right, she would have to contact Celestia after all… and she just sent her letter sender away… oops.


Celestia watched in wide eyed horror as Cadance’s horn was alit. An all too real illusion of herself and Twilight were on the breakfast table and life sized. With Celestia mounting Twilight using some kind of… tool. Shining Armor had watched at first, his face paled, and then his head had lulled back and he was thankfully passed out. Something she dearly envied him for.

“C-Cadance, I d-don’t think Twilight would be so bold!” Celestia managed to finally say after a few too many minutes of this image and Cadance explaining how proper hip motions made the process easier but it would be tricky to find the right motion at first with their size difference.

Cadance’s horn flickered and the image vanished. “Oh… I suspect you are right. Hmm, maybe this then.” The image reappeared only with the roles reversed and Celestia was on the receiving end.

Celestia stood up and slammed her hooves on the table. “Cadance Cadenza!”

Cadance rolled her eyes and the image vanished. “My my, Auntie you are such a prude, this is hardly even that exotic. Don’t you want to please your bride?”

To use the word flustered was like calling a raging river a trickle of water. “I don’t think Twilight even knows what sex is!”

Cadance stared at her for a long moment. Worked her mouth in silence and then said, “O-of curse she does. She has too. She’s surely read about how ponies are made.”

Celestia glared at her. “Yes, read about breeding. Not sex.”

Cadance froze. Her eyes widened. “Oh… I completely forgot who our target was… um… hmm… You’re going to want to go easy on her than. Maybe try this one.” Her horn lit up and although the image was much less revolting and extreme, and much more soft and gentle, the kind of thing she could see herself doing with Twilight, literally as in it was actually being shown to her on the breakfast table, which she now realized needed to be cleansed in the holy light of the sun, she still found it disgusting.

Having had enough of this torture Celestia lifted a spoon brought it to Cadance’s horn, pulled the tip back so that it bent backwards and let go. The spoon came flinging forward whacking the pink horn with just enough force to disrupt the spell and make Cadance yelp in pain. She rubbed at her horn and shot a dirty look at Celestia. “Auntie! I am just trying to help. Luna said you’d be nervous about the wedding night.”

Celestia grumbled. “I am the Princess of the Sun. I do not get nervous of such trivial things. My body alone is so hot that any mare could pleasure themselves by pure look alone. A simple touch enough to cause shivers of delight and orgasmic ripples across their body. Why should I need such tools or positions for these things?”

Cadance laughed. “Did you just call yourself hot?”

Celestia stared at her. “Well… it’s true. I have caught Pinkie Pie attempting to fry eggs on my rump before… to… actual success.”

Cadance stared at her. “You let Pinkie do that?”

“Let, and discovered only after I smelled the delightfully and thoughtfully cooked breakfast are two very different things. I shall say though, they had a slightly smoky flavor to them that was not unreasonable.”

Shining Armor was shaken from his state of unconsciousness and his first words were. “You let Pinkie do that to you, but you’re too afraid to let Twilight touch you?”

Cadance smiled. “My thoughts exactly.”

Celestia glared at the two of them. “I would be very careful. I do have the ability to melt the entire frozen north you know.”

Cadance rolled her eyes. “Oh spare me, you would never do that and risk harming an innocent pony. You’re too much of a softy.”

They were playing with fire here and Celestia was about to remind them of that when she decided to change tactics. “So, what would happen if I did cancel all of my half of the weddings. Twilight could still find happiness with Luna I’m sure.”

Shining Armor’s eyes widened a little. “If you canceled with the others, sure, it would be weird and probably insulting for them that you would think yourself too good for them. Twilight on the other hoof… She would lose it.”

Cadance sighed. “It’s true. She has asked me so many times for advice on how to be a proper wife and I have to admit, I’m not the best mare to answer all of those questions. Her hopes and dreams are on being your house wife. She’s even asked me where you and her would live or if you’d take turns living in the palace and then her tree house.”

Celestia waived a hoof. “Nonsense, we could live anywhere, I am the Princess and she is one as well. We could get a cozy home in the country side if she wanted to play house wife so…” she cut herself off. She shouldn’t be answering this question. She was trying to find a way out of this, for herself if nothing else.

Cadance smiled. “I’m glad to hear it, that’s pretty much what I told her too. She’s so cute when flustered though.”

Even Celestia had to concede to that. Twilight with pink cheeks, a little confused and frustrated about a situation, especially with that one single tear in the corner of her eye. She was so sweet when upset. All Celestia would want to do would be to pick Twilight up, hold her close. Gently stroking her massive wings down Twilight’s back until they reached those precious virginal flanks. A gasp drawing from Twilights lips as her frustration turned to something new, something surprised yet inviting.

There was a cold glass of water nearby, Celestia lifted it up with a golden aura, brought it over her head and dumped it down. The water evaporated before it even touched her turning into steam… “Mother of me…”

Cadance suppressed a small giggle and the pink aura faded from her horn. “Thinking anything fun now?”

Celestia growled. “Love Princess, be careful where you use that infectious magic of yours, it might just be your last. As for disappointing Twilight and her probably lifelong dream of marrying me, you were saying?”

Cadance let out a sigh. “With how obsessed she is over you, she might just lose it. Like completely snap. I imagine evil villain Twilight corrupting her friends and then turning against you in a plot to destroy the kingdom and make sure that love could never hurt anypony again.”

Shining Armor grunted. “I’ve uh… You might find I’ve drawn up battle plans for it already. Full well knowing I could never defeat her myself I have trained a unit of guard specifically to defeat Twilight if she ever turn evil. Of course that was before she became an alicorn… I’m sure they could distract her while you fled as far as you possible could though.”

Cadance added. “Not to mention Luna. I fear Luna might have some attraction toward her as well. It is very possible Luna could turn into Nightmare Moon and marry Twilight and use the power of EVIL LOVE! Against all of us.”

Celestia stared at them. “Seriously?”

Cadance shrugged. “That or Twilight could try taking her own life?”

Celestia replied, “But, but she’s an alicorn, she cannot die! Not by any traditional means anyway.”

Shining Armor added. “Imagine then, a scenario where Twilight tries, in ever increasingly horrible and morbid ways to off herself. Eventually coming to you, limbs barely attached by bloody sinew, wings full of rotting holes, an eye missing and blood pooling all around her and her pleading with you to end her misery.”

Celestia stood up. Her ears twitched. Why, why could she see it so clearly in her mind. The worst part was that in that situation, seeing such a horrible awful situation where a zombie pony would look healthy compared to Twilight, that she would actually use the full power of the sun too… too…

Celestia galloped off. “NO! I shall not let this happen. I need a letter and wax. PINK WAX!”

Cadance and Shining were right behind her. Cadance was the first to ask. “What are you doing?”

Celestia grunted in reply as she galloped. “If she may react that poorly to me rejecting her purposely, how do you think she will react to finding out that she would be sharing me with others? No, I must explain this to her myself and immediately. I will apologize and explain that she will be taking my full focus and attention. You said she wants to be a house wife?”

Cadance nodded. “Yes?”

“Then she shall have the best house in all of Equestria!”

It would only occur to Celestia a little later on that perhaps, just perhaps both Shining and Cadance were using extreme examples. Then again with Twilight being an extreme pony, who would know?

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