• Published 12th Jan 2021
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That One Time: Celestia and Luna Married the Mane Six - TheCrimsonDM



Have you ever gotten so drunk you forgot you offered the princesses' hoof in marriage to whoever brought your sister back? And how many 'es' there are in 'Princess'?

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Chapter Five: When Midnight Breaks

Chapter Five: When Midnight Breaks

Written by TheCrimsonDM

“So,” Celestia said after sending the letter. “Do you think this will work?”

Piles of half written and thrown way scrolls littered the desk and floor around her. Cadance smiled gently. “After the initial freak out, I’m sure Twilight will hear how much you love her and want only to marry you all that much faster, even if she has to share.”

Celestia let out a sigh. “I do not intend to whore myself out to all six of them.”

Cadance rolled her eyes. “When you are the ruler of Equestria and they are your brides, I do not think that you can ‘whore’ yourself out to them. Though… if you wanted too, I could help with that.”

Celestia had hardly heard Cadance’s last sentence as her mind was still firmly on that of her precious student. In the many years they had known each other Celestia had felt much more like a mother than a mentor. Even trying to picture Twilight in some sort of romantic light gave Celestia shivers of disgust, but hearing how she had inadvertently made herself engaged to Twilight sent even more. There was going to be a lot of hard conversations to be had should she try to get out of this situation. Unless of course if what Cadance and Shining Armor had suggested turned out to be true. In which case, for the good of her student’s fragile mental health and that of the entire nation she would make this small sacrifice and be willing to not only wed Twilight but to please her if need be. Luckily for her she figured Twilight still thought anything more than a kiss was disgusting and weird. That mare had never really grown out of that.

Of course with Luna around that innocence was inevitably going to be shattered. What would Twilight even be like if she became more sexually active than a rock? Her small but shapely rump swaying as she shook her hips. Full lips pouting and eyes looking back suggestively. Her tail flicking back and forth invitingly and showing only the briefest glimpse of her-

Celestia looked at Cadance and noticed the mare was an almost glowing pink. “Cadance, would you mind taking about ten paces away from me while I’m in contemplation. Thank you.”

Cadance giggled and trotted away. The images of Twilight being naughty were beginning to fade but now that she’d seen them all too many times it was going to be hard to forget them. Cadance’s aura of lust was going to be a nightmare in the upcoming week. At least this gave her some time to plan around Luna. How was she going to get herself out of this one? She figured at this point marriage to Twilight was probably, most likely, unavoidable. Marriage to the other five of Twilight’s friends would be easier to start with.

Celestia just needed a way to convince Luna to stop the weddings only something that would make Luna think it was her idea all along. How would Celestia pull that off? Well she had no idea. Shining Armor and Cadance were all for the marriage to Twilight, and probably okay with the other marriages as well… but what if the elements of harmony themselves were not okay with it? Sure the law practically stated they had no choice in the matter but if Luna felt like she was forcing ponies to be unhappy maybe her kindness would kick in and she’d relent… oh wait, Celestia was the one who identified with the element of kindness… her loyalty would kick in and follow the law that was written to its word.

Well failing any attempts at favoring the positive traits that Luna had, she should focus on the vain ones. A cruel smile crept over Celestia’s lips as she rubbed her hooves together. Oh yes, vanity, the one thing that Luna had never truly been able to get rid of. What would happen if these ponies didn’t love her anymore because she forced the marriage upon them? Oh, her heart couldn’t take it so she’d certainly call it off before hoof and at least ask their approval.

***

Rarity blinked a few times as she stared at Twilight. “Did you just say that we are, as in all of us, are marrying Princess Celestia and Princess Luna?”

Twilight’s horn flickered and the letter dropped a few inches. Her jaw was dropped, eyes wide with mere pinpricks for pupils. Her chest was completely still, it was as if she’d stopped breathing… Oh wait, she had.

“Twilight!” Rarity cried as she reached over and slapped her friend gently across the face.

Twilight sucked in a huge breath and began coughing a few times. Once she was finished she set the letter down and looked about the room. “No.”

The look in Twilight’s eyes hadn’t changed; in fact she was looking even more manic than before. Rarity could feel the panic starting to go through her as well. Certainly she was not against the idea as those dreams had indicated she at least had some interest in both princesses, but this was so sudden. “Twilight, are you su-“

“I said no!” Twilight exclaimed. “No, no, no, no, and more NO!”

Rarity reached out with a gentle hoof and pat Twilight’s shoulder. “Darling, calm down. We can figure this out. I’m sure the arrangements will work ou-“

Twilight’s eyes jerked and looked right into Rarity’s with a piercing gaze that sent a cold shiver running down her spine. “I will not share, I will not get married yet, and NO!”

Rarity jerked back as Twilight’s head jerked from her to each and every one of their friends. “This is not going to happen. I do not care what Celestia or Luna have to say on the matter. We are not marrying them. I-I can hide us. I can take us far away from here and we can hide and nopony will ever find us.”

Pinkie Pie cut in. “But Twilight, I want to marry them!”

Everypony shot a look in her direction. Twilight exclaimed, “What?”

Pinkie Pie rolled her eyes and giggled. “Think about it Twilight. Celestia in front, Luna at the back and Pinkie in the middle. They’ll make a pony sandwich out of me.”

Rarity gulped. “Darling, I do not think that now is the best time to be turned on by the idea of marrying both princesses.”

Twilight sat up straight. “What do you think this is? Some kind of poorly written horror story where ponies get turned into food. They will not turn you into a sandwich they will have sex… I said NO!”

Twilight’s mane and tail was starting to waver as if a nonexistent wind was coursing through her mane and tail. It was happening. It was finally happening. Rarity shot a look at Spike. “Spike, prepare the Midnight Sparkle letter immediately!”

Spike dropped his popcorn, his eyes widened as Twilight began to levitate into the air. He scrambled up the stairs while shouting. “I’m looking now!”

Twilight’s eyes began to glow with teal colored light. Her mane caught fire and floated upwards. Flames of black, magenta, pink and purple were waving above her head. Twilight began screaming. “NO! I refuse to allow this to happen! You will not touch my princess, or any princess for that matter!”

Spike was upstairs he had a scroll with a black ribbon and wax seal on it. One burst of flame later and it was sent. All they could do was pray that Celestia could arrive fast enough to save them all. Rarity had known this day would come eventually, the day where Twilight would eventually snap, go to the dark side, and usher in some kind of apocalypse, they all knew it, even Twilight was aware of the possibility. Every security measure was in place, now they just needed to run.

Except an idea hit Rarity…

Rarity stood up and glared right at Twilight. “Are you really so selfish?”

Twilight, no, Midnight Sparkle glared down at her. “You dare call me selfish, you of all ponies?”

Rarity put a hoof to her chest faking insult. “You wound me, Twilight. Just like you’ve clearly wounded Celestia.”

Midnight Sparkle blinked. “I would never harm a hair on her beautiful, perfect head!”

“But you have wounded her heart by taking so long to accept her marriage proposal!”

Midnight Sparkle froze. Hanging there in the air she looked conflicted down at Rarity. “Explain, mortal!”

“Hmph, I shouldn’t have to explain something so simple to you, but I shall indulge you. Princess Celestia has clearly been looking forward to your marriage for such a long time, but you, you had to go and be too scared to accept it and ask her to marry you. Now she has to resort to some ancient out dated law to force us to marry her too just so she can have you at her side. How long do you think she has gone to sleep alone, cold, and heartbroken wanting nothing more than you at her side?”

Midnight Sparkle began to sink. Her pupils coming back closer to a normal size. “N-no! I am, but, she said I could wait!”

“And do you not think four years has been long enough? She loves you, Twilight. As you love her. Only she’s the one suffering from a broken heart, she probably thinks you don’t even like her anymore.”

Midnight Sparkle landed on her hooves. The hair lost its fiery hue and fell down around her looking more like a wet mess. The colors began to return to normal and the glow vanished from her eyes. Twilight Sparkle was there once more and her lower lip was quivering. “I… I didn’t mean to!”

Rarity walked over and threw her legs around Twilight swallowing her into an embrace. “Of course not, darling. And who could blame you if you’re scared of being intimate. However, I am sure she would be more than patient and understanding so long as you were at least there to kiss her goodnight and hold her in your legs. She is a thousand years old, I’m sure sex is of no concern to her, only love, true love!”

A wail of pain and sorrow escaped Twilight’s lungs as she buried her head into Rarity’s chest. The wail devolved into broken sobs as Twilight’s body shook and shivered in her legs. Rarity stroked Twilight’s back whispering. “There, there. Now that the marriage is set, she won’t have to be lonely anymore. I’m sure you’ll make it up to her. You’ll be the best bride of all of us, I just know it.”

Twilight couldn’t respond, her attempts only broke into more sobs. Rarity looked over at Spike. “Spike, be a dear and send the emergency cancel letter before we have the royal guard plus two armored princesses at the library.”

Spike already had it in his claws. “Already on it.”

***

Celestia had finally managed to get back to her breakfast, now cold, and was only enjoying her coffee when a letter popped into existence above her head landing on the table. She saw there was a black ribbon around it, one she’d never seen before. Shining Armor stood up, his eyes widened and took the letter himself. The impudence of his action would upset her if the look in his eyes didn’t utterly terrify her.

Shining Armor opened it and read. “PRINCESS HELP!

“Twilight Sparkle has become evil and is the new Nightmare Moon. Code named Midnight Sparkle. She is destroying the town and may have already slain or corrupted a number of us in her wraith.

“Um… if um… you don’t mind… please send help… and come with um… the big guns…

“I’ll probably be alive, Rainbow Dash here by the way, too awesome to be killed but I might be evil now so… uh sorry if I’m already at the castle breaking your stuff… no hard feelings right?

“Princess Celestia, please make sure you are already on the run when you get this far in the letter because I’m sure her first target will be you. Also don’t forget to bring the running away dress I made you for the occasion.

“Also don’t forget to bring apples. Might help with the hard days ahead as Twilight destroys us all.

“Dear Princess Celestia, I am so sorry for the poor quality of this letter. My friends have decided I have to write last as I’m the one causing the issue. Please… put me down quickly. I’m just a unicorn with crazy magic, I’m sure you and Luna could both work together, but I must ask one thing… could you be the one to end me? I would prefer it if it were you. Love, Twilight Sparkle.”

Silence filled the dining room for several long seconds. Shining Armor took a seat. Cadance was looking at her plate. Celestia’s mind was a frozen state of shock. It was true, Cadance was right, Twilight had lost it, become evil and then Shining Armor was right too because she wanted Celestia to be the one too, too, too-

Another letter appeared above her head. This one with a white and black striped ribbon. Shining Armor let out a sigh and slid down in his chair upon seeing it. Cadance fell face first on the table. Celestia lifted this one up and unrolled the scroll. She read this one out loud.

“Dear Princess Celestia.

“We have things under control. Somehow we managed to calm Twilight down and she is no longer evil. Probably destroyed half the town in the process though. So at your nearest convenience can you come by the library, should it still stand, and bring Twilight’s favorite story. I think she will need you to spend several hours reading to her and giving her chocolate and hugs. Thank you.

“Thanks from everypony except for Twilight because she doesn’t know we wrote an emergency cancelled letter.”

Celestia leaned back in her chair. Today had been a roller coaster and the idea of simply reading a story to Twilight for so much time sounded simply wonderful. Even with the new knowledge of her marriage to Twilight being apparently a thing, she still relished in the idea of the simple task. She looked up at Cadance. “Do you still have a copy of The Little Unicorn that Could?”

Cadance thought. “Probably, you did loan it to me while I was foalsitting Twilight so I’m sure I do.”

Celestia smiled. “Good, now to get the finest chocolates we have.”

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