Apex sighed as he paced around. Seeing as Thorax and Pharynx had connected their rooms to his new one, he had to be quiet so they wouldn’t hear him. Thorax had given him his own room when Night Bloom and Shadow Stalker came, so he wouldn’t be kept awake by them.
Apex liked having his own room, especially since Thorax had promised he could come snuggle with him and Ember whenever he wanted. Pharynx had said the same with him and Tempest, though he’d sworn him to secrecy on that. But right now, being alone was beneficial to the nymph.
“I don’ know wha’ t’do Blizzard.” Apex said, speaking to the worn bear propped up on his bed. “I really don’ wanna keep hiding…”
Yes, Apex still had his speech impediment. He had tried talking normally but he hadn’t grown out of it yet. Thorax assured him that he’d probably have a normal speech pattern when he reached adulthood. Either way, Apex had learned to not mind it. Especially since Thorax told him it didn’t matter anyway, and he thought it made him cute.
Apex sighed as he trotted to his toy chest. He sat down and opened it, smiling at all his toys, then reaching underneath them. He smiled down at the broad rainbow flag in his hooves. He held it close, closing his eyes.
“Blizzard, wha’ am I s’posed to do?” Apex asked, looking at the bear. “I wanna tell Papa Thorax an’ Uncle Pharynx bu’ I don’ know wha’ they’d think… 'm... 'm scared...”
Blizzard merely flopped over onto his side. Apex sighed, but before he could reach for the bear, there was a knock on his door.
“Apex?” Thorax’s voice asked through the door.
“U-Uh, one minu’e Papa Thorax!” Apex said, tossing the rainbow flag into his toy chest and closing it, then igniting his horn and righting Blizzard. He trotted to the door and opened it.
“Heh, hey sweetie.” Thorax nuzzled him. “Pharynx and I were thinking of taking you out for the day, just you and the two of us, like we used to do.”
“Really?” Apex gasped, then hugged him. “Yay! Thank you Papa Thorax!”
“Heh, of course my little hyper sprite.”
Apex smiled and followed Thorax out of the room. As they left, they passed by Tempest and Ember, who were playing with their daughters. However, Apex failed to notice he hadn’t completely shut his door.
As Thorax and Pharynx nuzzled and kissed their mates goodbye, Apex left the room. The alpha and beta joined him shortly after. Once the three left, Ember and Tempest began talking, not noticing Shadow Stalker and Nightfire Bloom wandering away.
The two found their way into Apex’s room due to the slightly opened door. Nightfire Bloom pushed it open and they crawled in.
-------------------------------------------------------------
“Well, that was a great day, wasn’t it?” Thorax asked as they headed back to their rooms.
“Mhm!” Apex giggled, riding on Thorax’s back. He yawned sleepily and leaned his head against Thorax’s neck.
Pharynx chuckled and leaned over to nuzzle him. “Heh, you have fun grub?”
“Yes Uncle Pharynx…” Apex yawned.
The three of them headed into Thorax’s room. Pharynx started to head to the short hall that connected it to his room.
“Pharynx, Thorax!” Ember rushed up to them, Tempest behind her. “Temp and I, we-”
“We can’t find the kids!” Tempest finished
“What?!” the two asked in unison. Thorax levitated Apex off him and laid him on the bed, so as not to disturb the drowsy nymph.
“Where’s the last place you saw them?” Thorax asked
“Near the hallways. We checked Phar and Temp’s room already.”
“Try Apex’s room then.” Pharynx suggested, leading the way. The group headed down the hallway.
“I don’t think they’ll be here Phar, Apex usually keeps his door closed.” Thorax said.
“It’s not closed now.” Tempest gestured to the door. It was ajar slightly.
“He probably left it open by accident.” Pharynx said, pushing the door further open. The giggling of foals could be heard.
“Shadow!”
“Nightfire!”
Tempest and Ember raced in, scooping up their babies. Thorax and Pharynx followed them inside, relieved. Then, as Thorax leaned in to nuzzle Nightfire Bloom, he noticed she had something in her claw.
“What’s this?” Thorax nosed Nightfire gently, until she let go of it. Ember took the object.
“It’s… a piece of fabric?” Ember held it up.
“That’s a pride flag.” Thorax said, recognizing the rainbow pattern.
“It has to be Apex’s, none of us have the gay flag.” Pharynx remarked, and Thorax blinked.
“Come on.” Thorax took the flag and headed out to his room, where Apex was.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Apex yawned and briefly opened his eyes as he felt a soft nudging on his shoulder. “Papa Thorax…?”
“Apex, wake up sweetie.” Thorax said
Apex sat up slightly, rubbing his eyes. Thorax was standing before him. Apex smiled at his papa, then noticed the fabric in the older changeling’s hoof. His eyes widened slightly.
“Apex,” Thorax stepped closer and laid the cloth flag on the bed, “Do you know anything about this?”
Apex backed up, then spun around and took off running. He leapt off the bed and hit the ground, racing out of the room. He screwed his eyes shut, not wanting to pay much attention to where he was going. Tears fell down his face as he ran.
Eventually, Apex could smell outside air and slowed down. He looked around, wiping his eyes. He was in a grassy field near the Hive. Apex sighed and hung his head, walking further away from the Hive.
Apex soon stopped and began circling in place, making a small nest. He laid down in it and curled up, closing his eyes. He began to cry again, burying his muzzle in his forelegs. This was it. Thorax wouldn’t love him anymore because of the flag and he wouldn’t want him to live in the Hive, and…
Apex wasn’t sure how long he hid there, going over the many things Thorax would probably do. He heard hoofsteps, and shrank back into the grass. Then, the noise stopped, and pupiless eyes peeked over at him.
“Hey Apex.” a small voice said
Apex looked up. “V-Viorel?”
The lavender nymph nodded, sitting by him. “What’re you doing out here?”
“W-Well, wha’re you doin’ ou’ here?”
“Picking flowers.” Viorel held up a basket. “I’m making a bouquet for Oleander. Why are you out here?”
Apex buried his muzzle back into his forelegs. “P-Papa Thorax foun’ my gay flag…”
Viorel blinked. “And?”
“H-He’s no’ gonna love me an’more…”
“Says who?” Viorel nosed Apex gently, making him look up. “Apex, being gay isn’t a bad thing.”
“B-Bu’ my whole fam’ly ‘s straigh’… wha’ if they don’ like tha’ ‘m no'...? A-An' disown me...?”
“Just because they’re straight it doesn’t mean they won’t like it.” Viorel said, sitting down. "Besides, it sounds like you're being paranoid."
“Then how come they didn’ follow me when I ran...?”
“They’re probably trying to give you space or something.” Viorel responded, shrugging.
“S’ill… they won’ ge’ i’… they’re all straigh’…”
“Actually, Pharynx isn’t straight. Or Thorax for that matter.”
“Wh-Wha’ d’you mean? Uncle Pharynx loves Tempy… a-an’ Papa Thorax loves Emmie…”
“Yeah, but they aren’t straight. Pharynx is Bi and Thorax… I think he’s… pan-something? I know the sexuality, I just don’t know the name.” Viorel shook his head. “Anyway, they’re not straight. And I thought Meta was gay.”
“Well, yeah, bu' he doesn' spend 'nough to coun'. An’ Papa Thorax an' Uncle Pharynx have female ma’es…”
“That’s just because they happened to fall in love with girls.”
“Bu’ still…”
“Look, Apex…” Viorel smiled at him. “You know I’m gay, right?”
“Yeah…?”
“And does anyone-not including Parquel-ever call me out for it?”
“No…”
“Exactly. Especially not Papa Thorax.”
“B-Bu’ your no’ his son…”
“No, but he still loves us all. Father of the Hive, remember?” Viorel nuzzled Apex. “He takes care of us all, and that means he loves us all.”
Apex looked away. “V-Viorel…?”
“Yeah?”
“H-How’d you tell your fam’ly?”
“Well… I introduced them to Oleander.” Viorel shrugged. “They didn’t mind.”
Apex sighed. “I-I jus’ wanna u’do the way they foun’ ou’…”
Viorel thought for a minute. “Maybe… there is a way.”
“How?”
“They only saw the flag, right?”
“Yeah…?”
“Then there’s still time for you to properly explain.”
“I-I dunno…”
Viorel stood up. “How about I walk you back to the Hive? We can go together, and if Papa Thorax reacts badly, which he won’t, then you can come to me.”
“O-Okay… thanks Viorel…”
“What’re friends for?” Viorel smiled at him, then grabbed his flower basket. “Come on, let’s go.”
Apex slowly followed Viorel back to the Hive, helping the lavender nymph to pick more flowers along the way. It was a nice distraction. But soon, they had reached the entrance, and Viorel ushered the younger nymph to the royal’s rooms. Apex noticed a light was on in Thorax and Ember’s room, and there were voices coming from inside. Apex gulped nervously.
“It’s okay Apex. Go on.” Viorel urged
Apex nodded and krept towards the door. Viorel smiled at him softly, then trotted away with the flowers. Apex reached and slowly opened the door. He took a breath and walked in.
He was immediately scooped up into a hug and attacked with nuzzles by Thorax. Apex squeaked in surprise but burrowed into Thorax instinctively.
“Oh Apex, sweetie, I was so worried.” Thorax said, nuzzling him. “Where did you go sweetie?”
Apex looked away. “O-Ou’side…”
“Told you we should’ve checked the fields.” Ember said
“And I told you to give him some space.” Pharynx retorted. Ember shrugged, unable to argue.
“So Apex…” Thorax set Apex down and nuzzled him. “Do you have something to say to us?”
Apex nodded and lowered his head slightly. Thorax waited for him to continue.
“P-Papa Thorax… Uncle Pharynx, I…” Apex took a breath. “I… I like boys… ‘m… gay…”
There was silence for a minute, then, Thorax lifted Apex up. He looked up at Thorax, eyes wide. He was smiling.
“I still love you Apex.”
Apex gasped softly and hugged Thorax tightly. Pharynx chuckled, trotting over with the gay flag.
“And I think this belongs to you, grub.” Pharynx laid the flag over Apex like a blanket, though it barely covered him. Thorax and Apex giggled, smiling.
“U-Uncle Pharynx… y-you an’ Papa Thorax don’ care?”
“Of course not grub.” Pharynx smiled softly. “We love you, no matter what.”
Apex beamed, pressing against Thorax, who cradled him lovingly. Apex closed his eyes, pulling the flag close.
“Heheh, okay, bedtime my little hyper sprite.”
“O’ay Papa Thorax…” Apex yawned, snuggling close.
Apex felt Thorax carrying him down the hall, and into his room. The alpha changeling laid him down on his bed, pulling the blankets over the nymph. Apex smiled as he snuggled under the sheets, feeling Thorax set Blizzard down in his hooves.
“Lo’ you Papa Thorax…”
“Love you too, my baby boy.” Thorax kissed Apex’s forehead gently.
An overwhelming but comforting sense of home washed over Apex. He smiled, nuzzling into the pillows, hugging Blizzard and the flag close. He was right where he belonged. And his sexuality wouldn’t change that.
Didn't we have this scene like two times already? Thorax and Pharynx first, then Metamorphosis? Might have been in Patrilineality, but it nonetheless seems like it's only thrown in for cheap drama by repeating the same "oh no, I'm not straight, my family will hate me". Which just comes off as lazy, especially when the whole thing is resolved in the very same chapter it's introduced in.
10972254
Well, okay, the thing is:
1. chronologically, I actually wrote this chapter before even considering writing those other chapters, so in my mind this came first, it's also set in the future
2. Not everyone who reads Pride and Joy reads the Patrilineality stories, so it might seem redundant if you read them both, but for others it might be new information
3. It's meant to be resolved quickly because there's no way to keep stringing it along. Pride and Joy is coming to an end and it's the lovebugs, they'd never hurt or hate Apex for who he is. He was just way too scared to say anything and it's assumed he's only just finally figured out who he is.
10972300
That just pushes the issue back a few steps. If this is what was written first, then the other reveals are just rehashing the same thing.
Apex's orientation wasn't mentioned in Patrilineality as far as I recall. So it's not an issue of the same information being revealed, as much as it is of different information being revealed in exactly the same way.
If it was meant to be resolved quickly, then you could have at least done it in a way that doesn't feel like you were trying to rush it out the door as fast as possible. If you're dead set on revealing Apex or any other character as gay, then there are other ways to do it than the singular one you keep using. If it's a new character and it was planned since their introduction, maybe have them be in a relationship from the start? Or if it's a later addition, have them develop a crush on someone, or perhaps they already have a romantic partner they kept meeting in secret. Maybe some other character is being picked on due to their already known sexuality, and whoever you intend to reveal gets just a bit too agitated defending them and ends up saying too much. Maybe someone else approaches them and that ends up being the catalyst for a reveal. Or do the "ashamed to come out" thing but expand on it more. Tell us why exactly Apex is afraid other than "but they are straight and I'm not". Especially when there was not a single important character in the story who even hinted at not being okay with homosexuality.
There aren't many ways to approach the subject naturally in a story because of how specific it is, especially if it's meant to be over quickly, but even trying to do things differently seems better than repeating the same template over and over again. Especially when the reveal brings nothing to the story and does not affect characters at all. It wouldn't be as bad if the reveal was just an excuse to establish a character and get any uncertainty about their sexuality out of the way before actually getting to a plot that involves it. But so far, the only thing that ever came out of a character not being straight in your story beyond the reveal itself was that one epilogue where Metamorphosis hooked up with a guy.
alright, so
firstly, didn't you do this in the other fic?
secondly, this feels tokenist
like, he's gay to tick that box on the checklist
he coulda, and fact shoulda, been bi
you, of all creators i've levied this complaint to should get that bi folks don't get near enough rep
like, it's all about gays, lesbians and trans folks
it's like they forgot the "B" in LGBT
10972339
Alright, I'll take that advice, thanks
10972341
Pharynx is Bi, I will remind you, and in my other fics Gallus and Spitfire are too..
I honestly believe precious little Apex is gay, I can't see him as being anything else.
Please refer to my first comment to Martydi for answers to the other stuff
10972349
legitimately can't see it
he and flurry would be cute together and you can't change my mind(edit: i know this is a straight pairing, but i can't think of any colts his age he'd know)
and as to the "did this before" thing i meant the scenario, but not the characters
iirc it was Pharynx in the other fic
or was it Metamorphosis?
10972357
Both, technically. I know the scenario is similar and I'm trying to fix that. You could also tie it to them really being family for having similar mindsets.
Apex currently has a crush on Zenex, as the previous chapter hinted at. The thing is, while I ship Pound x Flurry, I had originally thought he might end up with Pumpkin, but it felt too forced to me. Flurry and Apex would be a pretty cute couple but I see them as more friends.
If you don't see it in Apex, that's fine, but in my stories he's canonically gay
10972382
it still feels tokenist
like, there's no buildup, no real story weight to it
there's no discovery of it, he just is
10972385
Because this is set in the future. You can see in the previous chapter he's beginning to question it, this is the kind of chapter where it should be assumed he's figured it out
10972390
ok so why are we getting this chapter now?
why not after the arc wherein he figures himself out?
10972394
Because the story's almost over. There won't be an arc to show.
10972396
ok i'm just gonna say it
that's fucking dumb
why tease an arc and then not give it?
and more importantly, why tease an arc, not give it, and spoil the ending of said arc?!?!?
if i'm to be honest this situation you've crafted is, as Yahtzee Croshaw would say, a cock-up cascade
it's just dumb decision after dumb decision, and they keep getting dumber
it's a fractal fuckup!!
10972404
...there was never going to be an arc, it wasn't meant to tease anything. I am aware I handled it wrong, and I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make anyone upset, I thought people would actually like the chapter for the message and not take it so seriously. I figured with the story going to end soon I would give everyone Apex's coming out story of his own, as they've already seen everyone else's. I'll just delete the chapter and continue like it never happened, it's fine
10972409
just
just give us the arc of Apex figuring his sexuality out
or if you don't want to do that, just don't bother with a coming out story arc at all
make him bi or straight or fucking ace
not every character strictly NEEDS a coming out story arc, y'know
10972416
...I never said he needed one, I said I wanted to give him one...and besides, no matter what sexuality he is, his family should know.
Like I said, I can delete the chapter if everyone hates it that much
10972418
choice is yours
but if you're going to keep it up you NEED to give us the rest of the arc
you can't tease the beginning of something, then just smash-cut to the end
that's like giving us a book with 80% of the pages missing
10972422
Fine...if that's your opinion...
10972422
You know what? No. I like it the way it is and I honestly can't see what you don't like about it, and you're not even attempting constructive criticism, which I prefer over random negativity. I have way too much stress from school already to make a whole new arc. Besides, it would likely just spoil a future story where Apex's sexuality is given more detail. I'm keeping it the way it is, if you hate it it's your problem
10972471
first off, saw that coming
secondly, i still don't get why you gave us the ending of an arc that didn't happen
and if that arc's gonna be its own story, why's the ending in this story?
you have a real problem with overlapping stories, huh?
and what kinda constructive criticism can i even give?
my expertise comes from having read a lot of good fanfic, not from some degree
10972488
Then maybe instead of pointing out what you hate you should point out what any writer wants to hear: what you liked
Believe me, unless they're extremely masochistic, no writer wants to hear how many ways someone hates their story.
10972498
well i can't say i liked much about this chapter, and i've listed the reasons why i don't
and as for the things i do like about it, it's the same shit as i always like about this story: it's sweet and cute and fluffy
but i feel like saying that over and over would get repetitive
10972505
Well, for me, it makes me happy
What you and Martydi do makes me sad
10972508
so you don't want to know how to improve
cuz, y'know, that's our objective in saying these things
yeah, i could be far nicer about it, but i'm trying to help you fix a major and obvious flaw in your story
10972511
I'm in an art school.
In the Creative Writing department
Where we workshop each other's stories so we can learn how to improve
I'm already critiqued plenty of times, constructively, by my peers
I don't need people who can't constructively offer criticism to bombard me with negativity. My peers and myself can do that by ourselves.
10972513
i'm not "bombarding you with negativity", i'm giving you blunt, honest criticism, not veiling my intent behind frivolous words and suchlike bullshit
if you want me to be a dick to you, i'll be a dick to you
10972522
I would not like you to be a dick, I'd like you to tone down the bluntness, it's not helping
10972527
sorry, idk how
10972534
Then just don't say anything at all. I won't mind if you don't comment because you can't find a good thing to say
10972537
can't really do that either
you'll never improve if you don't know where you've made mistakes
and on that note, do you run these stories by your classmates?
cuz i'm sure if you did they'd call out the same mistakes i and marty are, albeit in nicer words
on a semi-related note, if you must know what started my rant here, it's the whole "gay because i said so" vibe this chapter gives off
that shit irritates me like nothing else
and it gives that vibe because you didn't give us the rest of the arc
10972547
Well, first of all, half of them are LGBTQ+ so I know they wouldn't have quite the same opinions
Second of all, I don't need to workshop every single one of my stories to know what my strengths and weaknesses are, that way I can improve as a whole.
Third, I'm already improving. If you've read any of my older works you'd know that I've come a long way
10972560
ok so what if they're also lgbt?
it's not that Apex is gay, it's that he's gay with no reason why
no journey of self-discovery
it's just because
second, if you're so sure of your strengths and weaknesses, why aren't you taking actions to fix those weaknesses?
why aren't you listening to us, who're trying to help you fix them?
third, i don't doubt that you're getting better
but you've still got weaknesses to patch up
10972563
I'm not saying I still don't have weaknesses, but I'm progressing, and fixing them as I go and produce more stories. Apex is not gay for no reason why, I think the reasons are pretty clear. And you're not trying to help me fix them, as you said yourself, you're merely stating bluntly what you hate.
10972575
yeah, i'm telling you what i hate
so you can stop doing that
also,
just because it's clear to the author doesn't mean it's clear to the reader
and i think by now you know what exactly i mean by "just because"
give me the story arc where he discovers himself
doesn't even need to be more than one chapter
just give me a proper story arc damn it
10972579
You're going to get one in my upcoming series, can't you be patient, I've been telling you that this whole time
You're stressing me out, so I'm going to go
10972590
then delete this coming out chapter and save the draft for the other story ffs
it's out of place here
10972575
We're not exactly seeing that. You say you know of your weaknesses, and yet this is the third published chapter of yours following the same pattern and making the same mistakes. Yet there is no improvement here. Don't you think that if a chapter doesn't benefit the story, and it has been lying around waiting to be published for a while as you said, that it might be a better idea to rewrite it?
I don't think anyone sees them. What effect does it have on the story? Is it setting up for an arc later on? Is it finishing off an existing plot? Does it affect his interactions with anyone? Would anything besides the reveal itself be lost if this chapter wasn't published? Apex being gay doesn't automatically make the story or the character better, there has to be a reason for it.
10972593
10972594
Alright, alright I get it
You're lucky I have a backup on Docs of all these chapters, back from when I first wrote them
I'll delete it, just get off my back
10972597
If it matters I think the story is fine and the other two are being jerks isn't part of a fanfic writing what you want to see and shouldn't it be something you enjoy?
10972655
Yeah, you're right...
I can't delete it, I just get extra freaked out when multiple people tell me they don't like a thing I made. I'm going to complete the story, then edit chapters later when I have a fresh eye
10972664
I think that's a great idea that way you can get things off your mind and come back with a clear head and make sure it's a story you enjoy rereading
10972694
Thanks!
10972697
Awww, so cute!
I hope him Zenny will get along.
10972817
Heh, they will
10972828
Really? That'll be soooooooo cute!
10972845
Heh, glad you think so
10972846
Yay!
your stories!
10972859
Thanks!
10972422
I never thought I'd see the day
i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/436/943/93f.jpg
honestly I think OP is taking this WAY too personally - like I get it, it's their story, they can do what they like in it, but there has to be some amount of cohesion for their readers to follow instead of blindly assuming all of their readers are sharing the same braincell they've got and are totally following where this is going despite the lack of context - it's like only watching the first and last 5 minutes of a movie, you're missing everything that's happening in between because you're rushing through it
don't get me wrong, I think OP is a pretty good writer from a couple of fics I've seen of theirs, I just think that in this comment section they need to understand how to differentiate between personal attacks and criticism instead of stamping their foot about how "writing is sooo haaaaaard-uh"
no one has said writing was easy, but what matters is learning from it rather than snapping at everyone who tries to help you (in their own different ways), then you'll just be perpetually stuck - hell I'm still learning shit and I have like one published story that I'm still editing with at least a hundred in development hell
my point is, @OP: chin up and try not to take it so personally, no one's attacking you, the LGBTQIA+ community, or your story, we're just trying to figure out what the hell is going on - I get it, you're stressed from IRL stuff, everyone is, but to take that out on your writing and your readers isn't going to help you in the long run - try and create a calm, quiet environment for yourself when you write, it'll dampen the pressure you're facing considerably
10973269
Yeah, I know that, and honestly I never said writing was hard, I just hate when Late Night and Martydi do this because it always makes things worse because I know they have a point. I personally thought it was easy to follow but I'm seeing mostly no, it wasn't.
My solution is going to be to write a middle chapter before the story ends, or go back and edit the chapter after it's over
10973269
holy shit, you and i agree on something
is the world ending?