Project Lazarus

by Nightmare_Me

Project Larzus

"GO! GO! GO!"shouted Shining Armor directing everypony through the door. "CLOSE IT" he yelled as everypony started to close the door behind them and using planks and nails to block it.

"Phew, That was a close one," said Princess Luna.

"We all agree," said Spike, Fluttershy, Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, AppleJack, Princess Celestia, and Shining Armor.

*Crash* was a zombie fist going through the nearby boarded-up window.

"Block them all up and find some guns!" shouted Princess Celestia as more windows got smashed while Shining Armor, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack tried to block them up while Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Spike, Fluttershy, Rarity, Twilight, and Pinkie Pie went to find guns wich mysteriously were set onto the wall ready for them.

"Hurry up Twi, They are getting through," said Rainbow Dash.

"We are trying Rainbow Dash!" said Twilight.

"Found the Guns! said Pinkie Pie unblocking the doorway which held some guns behind it.

"Get them and start shooting!" yelled Applejack as all the ponys ran to get some guns.

*CRASH* was all the wood on windows and doors broke.

"Fire at will!" shouted Spike as the ponys pushed back the wave of zombies successfully blocking the windows again sparing some time until they were in trouble again.

"Help me get this door open! I am too beautiful to die" yelled Rarity.

"Still the drama queen," said Fluttershy a bit louder than she wanted to.

"Don't argue! there is a zombie invasion and all you can think is to argue?!?!" said Twilight.

"......." said both Rarity and Fluttershy dipping their heads in shame.

"Now, just to ask what about the door again?" said Rainbow Dash wanting to get on topic again.

"Right!" said Twilight as she opened the door to find a hallway with many doors, Pack a punch, and a mystery box lining the walls.

"So...Who gets the mystery box?" said Spike.

"I think it depends on the gun so we should all check it out," said Shining Armor.

But due to this story's plot(Haha "Plot"), I will make sure that the mystery box ends up on a fail.

"Awwwww," everypony said, sad not to have gotten a better gun.

"Well, no need to cry over spilled milk! or now is it guns..." said Pinkie Pie going into think mode.

"Well, who needs a Pack a punch?" said Applejack.

"I do, my machine gun has too little ammo," said Princess Luna.

After Princess Luna upgraded her machine gun there was a loud *Crash* as all the doors broke and out hordes of zombies came flowing like water out.

"Hold dem apples off until I can buck open this door!" Applejack said.

“Let’s show these boys HELL,” said Twilight as the rest of the pony’s rained hell on those zombies.

“Aggg! Get off me” shouted Princess Celestia who was pulled into the ever-frowning mass of zombies for plot reasons.

“Sister!” Shouted Princess Luna before Princess Celestia disappeared.

“No, time to morn,” said Shining Armor.

*Crash* want the door from Applejacks buck opening the way for our hero’s to go further.

After that the cycle was like this: open door, fend off zombies until the door opens, open door, and so on! So it was like "GO GO GO!" then "Shut the door!" then "Loot the place!" then "Defend!" then finally "Door is open!" and so on. Sadly though due to more plot reasons Applejack, Spike, Twilight, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash were taken too.

---

[Some time later]

"If Applejack's strength could not hold the zombies off, Spike's fire could not either, Twilight's magic and Princess Celestia's magic could not hold the zombies off, and even Rainbows flying and Pinkie's randomness could not hold them off then what chance do we have!" cried Rarity to Princess Luna.

"Hope," said Princess Luna said."Hope will keep us going. Twilight lost Hope and gave up her life when my sister died and the others lost hope too. If we don't lose hope
then we will survive, so don't lose hope." Said Princess Luna.

---

After a long time, they found the portal home but the electricity was still out.

Soon after looking for the Power Shining Armor lost hope too, and was quickly killed by the zombies soon after. Just as Fluttershy lost hope they found the Power their spark of hope was reignited. After they barred the door they quickly activated the electrical power. The only problem was...The doors were self-opening doors so when the electricity was restored...They all opened.

"RUUUUUUUUN!!!!" shouted Rarity as zombies after zombies and after zombies came after them, crawling after their own just to reach them. So they ran and ran and ran and ran to find the portal Fluttershy sadly got devoured by a surprise attack by the zombies.

When they found the portal fortunately the door leading to the portal was a normal door but unfortunately, it could not lock. So Rarity did the only brave thing she could do, she pushed Princess Luna through the portal and shot the portal behind her locking all the zombies in this world with her, sending Princess Luna(Hopefully) to safety and her last thought were. "I hope we completed the mission." Rarity thought.

As Luna went through the portal she was meet with a GAME OVER screen, and under it was a text that said. "Rarity had the package."

In the real world, there was a very annoyed Spike, Fluttershy, Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Princess Luna, AppleJack, Princess Celestia, and Shining Armor, staring at Rarity with angry eyes. "Opps" was all she could say." I forgot I had the package".

"We spent 3 hours on this!" shouted Rainbow Dash.

"And you FORGOT you had the package?!?!" said Twilight.

"Yes..." said Rarity quite ashamed.

"Look at the bright side!" said Pinkie Pie. "We will get to play it again soon!".

"Yes, yes we will and Rarity will defiantly not be the package carrier next time we play this game," said Princess Celestia.

"Well see you all next game night!" said Shining Armor.

"Bye," said everypony else.

Comments

[giganticcats]

Never in my life did i think i would see a fic based of a roblox game

[GamerGoo]

Why

[Nightmare_Me]

10467155
10467023
I did it because no one did it before.

[GamerGoo]

10467597
And it should've remained that way.

[Nightmare_Me]

10467998
if you dont like it then dont read it.

[GamerGoo]

10468494
Too late. I can respect the craft but maybe check your spelling before publishing it.

[Nightmare_Me]

10469109
Thought I did.

[PPEF1]

Never played this game but I do play Roblox. Picturing the story, it does sound like a good story. A run-of-the-mill zombie apocalypse except they're playing one instead of being in it. However, just like my zombie apocalypse fic, there are some problems. First, there are some capitalization errors. Not a huge problem but still an error. And another problem is something I had in my first fimfic story.

"Help me get this door open! I am too beautiful to die" yelled Rarity.

"Still the drama queen," said Fluttershy a bit louder than she wanted to.

"Don't argue! there is a zombie invasion and all you can think is to argue?!?!" said Twilight.

"......." said both Rarity and Fluttershy dipping their heads in shame.

Notice something going on with the dialogue? My point is that you don't have to put "said" or "yelled" or anything similar after every quote of dialogue. That is more of a sometimes thing. I know that you're trying to make it clear to which character is talking but there is a better way to write it out. You get what I'm saying? All in all, this is a good story. It just has some careless mistakes

[Nightmare_Me]

10879769
But can you tell me what to do instead?

[PPEF1]

10880497
Right. So on my first story, the dialogue went along the lines of this:

(Example from my story)
"We need to do something," said Pony A.
"You're right, we should get going," stated Pony B.
"I'm a crazy party pony," screamed Pinkie.

Just like how I said with yours, there's a verb after every statement. A way to get around this is to do something like this

(Also example from my story)
"We need to do something!" cried Pony A.
"You're right! We should get going."
Pinkie bounced along behind the other two as they fled. "I'm a crazy party pony!"

PS, there are times where I still do the first example so yeah...

[Nightmare_Me]

10880974
But then how do you know which pony is talking?
P.S You know and I know because you showed me. But how do your viewers know?

[PPEF1]

10881832
knowing that you have lots of characters in your story, it's kinda tough. i'll just show a random section of your story and rewrite it. dk if that helps but whatever.

Here's a random section of your story:

"Hurry up Twi, They are getting through," said Rainbow Dash.

"We are trying Rainbow Dash!" said Twilight.

"Found the Guns! said Pinkie Pie unblocking the doorway which held some guns behind it.

And here's how I rewrote it:

"Hurry up Twi! They are getting through!" cried Rainbow Dash.

"We are trying Rainbow Dash!"

Pinkie Pie unblocked the doorway which had some guns behind it. "Found the guns!"

Notice how I didn't put "said Twilight" after the second line of dialogue? That's because the reader uses their common sense, knowing that Rainbow is talking to Twilight. Though I will say there are exceptions since most of the lines have a new character talking every new line

[Nightmare_Me]

10883113
Ah, now I understand. Thank you very much for showing me a better way for writing dialogue!