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Are you going to finish this story
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Yeah, sorry about the delay - having quite tumultuous days, changing apartments and handling all the bureaucracy which comes from switching jobs.
There goes. Like I said, it had been something I put together for Halloween, loosely tied into an existing narrative. It was still quite fun to write, hopefully at least somewhat fun to read. Normally I would have started with the first story in this series, but that one is nowhere near ready, so I went with the one which needed the least amount of editing.
Others to follow!
Where do I go to see the first few parts of the story
Well, after "Something, at least", this is - so far - a pleasant continuation. ;]
Yes, I'm aware of the theme. ;P Let me have a bit of a cool-down after "S,AL" mkay? :D
I lost it.
Princess Piggy Sparkle? :D
Uhhh... I'd say that's a warning sign. ;-]
Okay, that is a loud and clear warning, at this point. Twi, what the fuck did you just get yourself into? >_<
Well, I'll say that it's not bad. It's a nice change from having very graphic and drawn-out depictions. This isn't porn, it's sex.
That's the key... That, there, is the heart of the issue. It's not about sleep eating away at your time - it's about there always being more to do than there is the time to do it in. No matter how much you could stretch your day, the only thing you'd achieve would be tighter deadlines. There's always something that needs doing.
This has been bugging me in the back of my head for a while... If ponies still don't have citizen rights - or, not exactly - how the hell did she get a driver's licence? Don't you need to legally exist before that can be done? I mean, even for humans it took a while before women got to drive around - in Saudi Arabia, that was still illegal up to 2018 or so - and we know that women don't have any specific requirements/deficiencies as compared to men.
Ponies, in contrast, are an entirely different species. So, how?
I so feel you... I mean, if you're designing it out, then you can usually just get the issues out of the way - line up your ducks, as it were, before reaching for a choked shotgun. ;] But some implementations... especially dealing with preexisting business logic - that's the stuff of nightmares.
Hah. Called it, though I never wrote it down. I just felt there was something funky in the works when she cast that first spell. I mean, we're talking mind magic here, and that's not something you want to fumble. She nearly did, and that's when I thought "Okay, Twi - how about you let the energy dissipate and start over, huh?"
Ah, well. It's the sort of mistake people that are good are bound to make a little more often, and Twilight is no exception (in fact, she's sort of notorious for exactly this kind of fuck-up). The more you think you're right - the more likely it is that you're actually wrong, and your stellar track record will let you miss it ("eh, it's me - what's the worst that could happen?"). The sort of people that make 1 mistake in 100, but much like with airplanes falling out of the sky - they make up with quality for the lack of quantity (i.e. they don't make mistakes nearly as often, but when they do - they're usually disasters).
I don't know why this story has so many down-votes. The writing is strong, the pacing is good, there's a lot of emotion... The characterisation is about as good as in the prequel. Maybe that's what is missing here? The prequel? It certainly helps to understand where she's coming from... perhaps without that, it falls flat for some people?
Anyway. Is there a sequel that deals with this guy's visit to Equestria? I would very much like to see that, just because.
Also, is this set in the same AU of "Off Duty"? I can't quite see the order of events here - this must've happened sometime during Celly's "vacation"... I mean, if it happened before, there's no way Celestia would've taken that little "time off" (knowing how humans treated
her subjectsher student/protegeher close frienda fellow princess of the land) - and if it happened after, then where are the laws that we know got established during, or shortly after, her stay?10676608
Oh wow, I've really been slacking off with keeping up lately. New job seems to be taking a lot of of me and over let some stuff slide.
There is more of this story (pretty dark in places) if you search my username on "ponepaste", but it's an archive of what I've posted on 4 chan, so not well edited. I swear I'll get around to editing and posting here *someday*.
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I've actually thought this one over while I was writing it. Twiley is a bit of a celebrity after her media work, so she can get exceptions for many things denied her kinsfolk.
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Thanks for the commentary! To answer the questions:
This is a different world than Off Duty, but it's shared with "Red Sky".
The prequel would help, I think, since this story wasn't originally intended to stand alone, but it did look like a good candidate so I decided to yolo it.
This Anon's visit to Equestria would be interesting and I do have some ideas, but I'm in the middle of a "Floor Bored" sorry and then I have another new one lined up for 'slave pony general'.
That said, I just finished a nice, mostly-comf one with Anon and Fluttershy which I'm thinking of editing and posting here.
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I doubt I could ever look at any SPG/Fluttershy stories without remembering that one guy that bought Fluttershy and kept referring to her as his "waifu". I mean, I'm obviously not that far gone (and hope I never will be), but... it's a sobering thought, that those people exist (and yes, they exist).
But by all means, have at it. I'd just like to see the rest of your works up here at some point, because I've read
threefour so far, and they're kinda good, if somewhat depressing on the whole.And yeah, I think "Something, at least" might be a good candidate for the next out-of-the-archives posting. It's also the hardest that I've so far read, I suppose... but it'd be nice to have that grounding for "Something Halloween" up and linked.
Hey, AspiringWritefag! Is this the correct reading order?
And version of halloween on ponepaste different from this one?
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It would work quite well like that, yes, although the Halloween special was intended to be after "Sequel" (doesn't really matter, though, since it basically never references those events). As a point of curiosity, Red Sky is in the same universe, nominally intended between the first one and sequel (although it follows entirely different characters).